A/N: Canon and angst following Snow Day, what happens when Gus leaves and Flack doesn't follow. S4 spoilers. Don't own what you recognize. Sequel to NOLA Rising, editing out some problematic bits.
Chapter 1: So Sad About Me
In all honesty, Gus had no clue what she was doing. She couldn't look at Flack, which is the only way she managed to see the cab heading towards her.
The fact that he wasn't meeting her eyes, in fact had his eyes closed in concentrated disbelief was how she managed to escape in the first place. Without thinking she commanded the cabbie to take her to Grand Central Station.
Standing in the middle of the chaos of the train station, Gus used everything within her power to not bust into sobs right there. "Get a grip, girl," she admonished herself in the middle of a crowd.
Suddenly spying a mailing station she walked over before she lost her nerve. Grabbing a mailer, she dropped a couple of items in to it and scribbled a familiar address on the front. "I need this delivered first thing in the morning" she told the bored looking employee behind the desk.
"Whatever, that'll be $14.83."
Gus forked over the last of the cash from her wallet. "Damn it" she cursed.
"I don't make the prices lady, if you don't want to send it express-" the employee started.
"That wasn't directed at you. Keep the change," Gus said, spying an ATM out of the corner of her mind. Taking out the daily maximum, she headed in the nearest restroom to try to collect her thoughts.
If she traveled by bus, train or plane, they could easily figure out where she was headed. But where the hell was she headed? Gus wondered to herself. Gus had just blown off the only guy to love her for her because...why the hell was she doing that again?
Oh yeah, because she was cursed, the ghosts of her past wanted to make sure she knew that her loving someone apparently meant everyone she cared for could potentially get blown up. So now she was running away. "Runs in the family," Gus mused to herself in the mirror over the dirty sink.
She was still in disbelief that Mac was leaving the lab, no his lab to run off to London with Peyton. When Peyton said she was thinking of asking Mac to come on vacation with her, she didn't think it was going to be so...explosive.
"Car!" she said to herself suddenly. If she rented a car, they wouldn't know where she ended up. Of course that limited her to driving distance, but that was still a pretty big expanse of land to cover. Not that she had her passport with her, or anything except what was in her tote, for that matter.
Gus flirted her way to the last car available at the rental counter, despite the gnawing that occurred in the pit of her stomach. Desperate times, she said waving away the feeling of guilt.
"Just get out of dodge," she said, sliding behind the wheel, which felt foreign to her after two years of big city living.
Gus drove, mindlessly, just trying to get as much distance between her and the city as possible. Finally exhausted and overwhelmed, Gus pulled over at a rest area. Looking at herself in the rear-view she was overcome with a sense of shame.
"What are you, fifteen?" she chastised herself, "things get weird and so you run away. You've messed up big time, Broussard. Don won't forgive this. You have managed to lose your lover, your partner and your job in one day, all because you are afraid! You deserve to be alone and miserable!" she said aloud to her reflection.
The silence was deafening and crushing. But what choice did she have? Don had an AK-47 staring him down and she froze instead of acting like the cop she was supposed to be, which resulted in Sanchez getting shot.
And then no one listened to her when she knew the gas leak was a decoy. Because of that, Danny and Adam get held hostage and beat up and may never be able able to do their jobs again.
The crowning moment in this tragedy was the lab getting blown up. It could have just as easily been Mac, Stella and Hawkes in there as well. Gus brought chaos and danger everywhere she went. Not to mention she just wasn't cut out for this, any of it.
Don was better off without her, they all were.
Even as the thought formed in her mind, a tear formed in her eye, slipping down her cheek. Another following and then another, until sobs racked her body, her chest heaving, wails filling the silence of the car.
A ringing punctured Gus breakdown. A tinny version of "Macho Man" cut through her tears, bringing Gus back to reality, "Tibs" she said, sniffing up the last of her tears.
"I give up," her friend's strained voice came over the line.
"Tell me about it," Gus dripped.
"No, I mean I quit."
"Quit, quit your job?"
"No, men!"
"Well that makes two of us," Gus said with a hiccup, tearing up again.
"What do you mean, sugar? Did you and that fine detective of yours have a tiff," he asked, trying to figure out what the background noise was. "Gus, where are you?"
"Uh, Tennessee," Gus admitted.
"Tennessee, what the hell are you doing there, working a case?"
"No, I um, sort of just left today."
"Left good god, child, what nonsense is that?" Billy said, he had been ready to pour his heart out about his latest romantic woes which unfortunately led to him getting fired, figuring his oldest friend would give him a good pep talk, but it seemed like the tables had turned.
"It's a long story," Gus said, the sobs overtaking her again.
"Well since you are already halfway here, why don't you just plug my address into the GPS and you can tell me this whole story in person and give me the pep talk I was calling you for in the first place," he said, shaking his head and hanging up the phone before going to make himself several drinks.
Flack still was unsure how Gus had disappeared, but he figured she would be back. She probably just needed to decompress and cool down. It had been a rough day for all of them. Flack had been struggling with his own flashbacks when the lab exploded, he only imagined that Gus was going through some crap of her own.
It was more than a little trying on his patience though, he didn't know how much effort he could keep putting into a relationship if it wasn't getting returned. He loved Gus, but he wasn't a glutton for punishment and it wasn't doing either of them any good to just sit spinning their wheels.
Flack waited up, flipping mindlessly through channels until finally giving up and going to bed. Maybe she crashed with Stella or at Mac's. Who knew, it all would be clearer in the morning.
Flack walked into the pit the next morning, Gus' desk remaining empty. "Surprised you are here today, Flack," Daddino remarked.
"Crime doesn't take a day off." Flack replied wryly.
"True enough, what about Gus?" Daddino asked, having not seen her yet.
Flack gave a shrug, "dunno, maybe at the lab."
"What's left of it," Daddino remarked, "go check it out, I don't need you over here."
Flack walked across the bridge to the new building, the clean up still continuing inside the lab. The damage had been somewhat negated by fire doors, but much of the glass in the modern set-up had been smashed.
Flack caught sight of Stella ordering a man in coveralls around, he went over to see what was up. "Mac's not here?" he questioned.
"I guess he was serious about London," Stella said, her shoulders tense.
"But right away?" Flack wrinkled his brow.
"His cell is off," Stella sighed, "how about you, how are you and Gus doing?"
"I'm fine, a little shaken" Flack paused, Mac was out of pocket and Stella was asking about Gus which meant she hadn't spent the night with her, "I don't know about Gus."
"She might need to take a couple of days off, I think the shock hit her pretty hard. Medics wanted to admit her, I heard. How did you manage to keep her at home?"
Flack didn't have a chance to answer before Daddino appeared in the doorway. "Tony," Stella cried out is happy surprise, "it takes the lab getting blown up to get you to cross the bridge?"
Daddino didn't return the smile. "You know anything about this, Don?" he asked, holding up the express post box.
"Know about what?" Flack asked, his heart pounding.
Stella grabbed the box from Daddino and tipped it down. Gus' badge, gun and clip came sliding out, a piece of paper fluttering to the floor. "What the hell?" Stella exclaimed, her eyes narrowing.
Flack stooped and picked up the piece of paper, scanning the words that Gus has scrawled in haste, Can't do this anymore, sorry. Thanks for all you have done, A. Broussard.
Flack stood there in shock, Daddino studying him, "I guess you didn't know either. Sorry, junior," Daddino said, turning on his heel and walking back to homicide.
"This is impossible" Stella snapped.
"I think it is more than possible, Stel, it's reality" Flack replied, his jaw tight.
"Well it is ridiculous and juvenile and I am getting to the bottom of it" Stella replied still incredulous.
"Good luck with that" Flack dripped, turning to walk away.
"Flack, don't you want to help with this?" Stella called after him, getting silence in return.
Chapter 2: Let Me Hold It Open
Gus sped to New Orleans, not caring how fast or reckless she was driving. She willed some statey to pull her over, wanting the release of tearing into someone.
She made it to Billy's house in record time, only stopping for gas and laughing at the suggestion of a speed limit. She barely registered the swath of destruction as she drove in to town. Some of it looked like it was a wreck before the storm. In some ways the hurricane cleared out things that needed to get torn down years before.
Gus found Billy in his living room, three sheets to the wind. "Good lord, Tibs, have you been drinking my entire way down here?"
"Maybe," Billy slurred, "and you look like shit."
"Thanks a lot, BIlly, you aren't exactly looking like the prom queen yourself," Gus remarked, grabbing his bottle of whiskey and draining it.
"Good heavens, Augusta, that is a lot, even for you. How about we both get some sleep and then you can tell me all about it in the morning over some very strong coffee?" Billy suggested. "Mama is on a cruise but I had Buela make up a room for you, come on now, you look dead on your feet!"
"Still a charmer," Gus said, sniffling again, looking at her still silent cell phone, more than a little stung that Don hadn't called her. He must be over her.
Stella swore as Gus phone switched to voice mail again. She had calmed down Daddino enough to convince him to not erase Gus from the system and turn off her department cell phone, but he was less than happy.
Of course, Stella wasn't exactly thrilled with Gus' stunt, quitting by express mail, leaving Flack without explanation, ignoring her duties...but Stella knew that one person could only take so much before they broke. She just hoped Gus would be able to put back together.
Gus spent the next couple of days in an alcohol filled depressive state. "I thought you were coming here to cheer me up, sugar," Billy said taking a hit off a joint on the porch of his house.
"I came here because I quit my job and broke up with my...whatever the hell Don is, I didn't really have a lot of places to go" Gus said, tipping the bottle of vodka up to her lips.
"Being an adult sucks" Billy sighed, "who would have thought us to end up jobless, man-less, depressive drunks?"
"I am more shocked about you being in that state than me," Gus snorted.
"Whatever, honey child. But we do need to get you some clothes. I cannot believe you left with nothing."
Gus gave an empty chuckle, "me neither."
She stared at her silent phone, Stella had stopped calling sometime earlier that day, after leaving a series of messages alternating between concerned and angry.
Her last one was, "Fine, Gus when you want to grow up and talk about this, you know how to reach me. However, I have more important things to handle up here to be cleaning up your messes."
"You going to keep staring at that thing, you can't make it ring you know," Billy gestured.
"I know, I just can't believe he hasn't tried to call," Gus sighed, lighting a cigarette.
"That's what you get for wounding a big hunk of a man. Strong and silent and probably meaner then a snake right now," he replied.
"Well it isn't like I am going to call him," Gus retorted.
"Well why on earth not? Are you really planning on staying here?" Billy asked.
"Why not? I already called the NOPD, they are more than willing to hire me. They need someone like me," Gus argued.
"No, they need someone like you can be, but not this hot mess sitting on my porch drinking herself half to death."
"You are one to talk" Gus rolled her eyes.
"I have a trust fund and no house payments. Speaking of which, if you stay are you going to keep your place up there for lover boy to live in?" Billy inquired.
Gus' shoulders slumped, "I hadn't thought that far ahead. It would be stupid to keep my place there. And I doubt Don would want to stay there. And even if I did leave him, I don't really want to think about him getting it on in my place."
"Honey, don't take this the wrong way, but I think you got something wrong with your head," Billy said, leaning over to pat her.
Gus looked at him with narrowed eyes. "How so?"
"You are willing to take a job with the NOPD probably not even making 30k a year in a place that reeks of mold, death, and corruption. You don't have an endless trust fund to draw on like any of that old vapid crowd you used to hang around with, your ex-fiancee has set up shop with 2 kids and a wife in Natchez, your old house was turned into a monstrosity by some new money nitwits from Yankeeville and your only true friend here is washed up. You want to give up a great job, apartment, man and life for New Orleans when she really hasn't given you much other than pain," Billy espoused.
"What can I say, Tibs" Gus gestured, "it is an abusive relationship and I am good at those."
When Gus and her hangover made it down to the kitchen the next afternoon, Billy was sitting at the table drinking coffee and waving her cell phone.
"He called, about an hour ago," he said, grinning as Gus picked up the phone, hopefully she would get some sense talked into her by her handsome partner and be on the next plane back to New York.
Gus took the phone out to the porch, staring out over Audubon Park. She listened to Flack's empty voice with a heavy heart, "I just wanted to make sure you made it to wherever safe. Take care Gus."
Gus dialed his number listening to the rings and hoping he would actually pick up.
Right before it clicked to voice mail, Gus heard a weary voice say, "Flack."
"Hey, it's me," Gus said, her voice wavering.
"Hi," Flack replied, not giving her anything more.
"I, um got your voice mail. I just wanted to let you know I am...well something. I'm back in New Orleans."
"Good to know, you may want to let Stella know" Flack's voice was steel.
Gus felt her heart breaking with each passing second, he was gone, she had pushed him too far away, "Don, I'm so sorry," she sniffed.
"You did what you thought was right. I can't keep fighting you on doing what you need to do," his voice remained even, though his heart was twisting in his chest.
"I just have more to figure out than I thought I did," Gus said, tears welling in her eyes and running down her face.
"Well I sincerely hope you figure it out, Gus, you deserve to be happy," Flack said the words with ice, but silently was adding, 'with me.'
"So do you, Don," Gus chocked out.
Flack was thinking, 'I thought I was, I thought we were,' but he remained silent.
"Without me there to hold you back..."Gus started and then stopped, "you are going to have a great life, Flack."
"Is this really what you want?" Flack asked, his voice finally cracking.
"It isn't about wants anymore. We had a good run, but I can't do it anymore. I'm sorry," Gus gripped at the phone, not meaning her words, but knowing she had to cut this off in order to move on, or back or whatever it was she was doing.
"I woulda done anything for ya," Flack's accent thickened with emotion.
"I know, Don, damn it, I know that and I wouldn't have been worth it. Let me go, you have to let me go," Gus pushed the phone closer up to her ear as she emotionally pushed Flack further away.
"Fine, have it your way, Augusta!" Flack snapped as he hung up.
The use of her given name and his tone broke Gus down completely, she returned to the kitchen, tears flowing freely muttering, "I need a drink."
"You just got up," Billy explained, but was already at work on a batch of Bloody Mary's. "Honey, I'm so sorry" he said, pulling his friend in for a hug before handing her the drink.
"It's my own damn fault" Gus said, wiping at her tears, "I don't deserve him. He can do so much better."
Billy gave her a look of disapproval, "I highly doubt that, but until you believe that, I am wasting my breath."
Stella took one look at Flack's ashen complexion and rose from the desk, "Gus?" she questioned.
"She's in New Orleans, she's staying there," Flack replied his eyes full of anger and sadness.
"Are you going to go down there?" Stella asked him earnestly.
Flack shook his head, "No, I don't think that is a good idea. She needs her space and I am going to let her have it. As far as I am concerned, we may as well be strangers right now." Flack set his jaw.
"Are you sure about this, Don?" Stella asked, her face showing concern.
"She hasn't really left me much of a choice" Flack said before walking back to homicide. Stella shook her head and moved back to the piles of purchase orders she still had to go through.
Chapter 3: Louisiana Lowdown
Gus struggled to settle back into life in New Orleans. It was drastically different than it had been before the storm. And not just because two years ago she had a fluffy office job and was running with the ladies who lunch crowd.
Being a cop in New Orleans was a whole different ballgame than in New York. Even though she had been raised in the city and knew it like the back of her hand, she was treated like an outsider. Some even went as far to call her a deserter for leaving the city for New York.
Gus was able to at least quell that by getting some back up from the cops she had been with during the flooding. There also wasn't the same sense of teamwork that Gus had gotten used to, not to mention the fact that the cops left on the force all seemed pretty damn close to a breakdown at any second. Rules were fast and loose, trying to keep up with crushing crime rates and a DA that refused to work with the Captain. Brass was confused how to best utilize her and she found herself missing even Lafferty and Thatcher's comments because at least she felt like they knew she was worth something.
"Not sure you can cut it out there," Brass said to her shortly after her hiring process was completed.
"I have consulted with the NOPD for years, Loo! I have been working with NYPD for the past two years, I just helped take down the biggest crime family on the Westside," Gus protested.
"Well this ain't New York, dawlin'" he drawled, undressing her with his eyes.
Gus' skin crawled but she shook it off, some things never changed.
"You are in the Second district for now, but we might have to move you to the Sixth if things continue at the pace they are going. And if they pull the National Guard out of here anytime soon, everyone will have to pitch in for Quarter duty."
"Fine, put me wherever you think I am best utilized."
"This isn't going to be martini lunches and ass kissing, I hope you are aware of that, Broussard."
"Loud and clear, sir" Gus said, all but saluting.
And it wasn't, morale was down while crime ran rampant. Gus felt like her pager was constantly going off and no crimes ever seemed to get solved. Witnesses didn't come forward, snitching got people assassinated, there was literally no crime lab and the courts let even violent offenders walk.
Billy had tried to warn her, even though he had only worked a desk in SWAT, he still had experienced all of the weaknesses of the current state of affairs in the city. And crime was only part of the issue, the whole city was hanging on by a thread.
Gus had seen more meltdowns than she thought possible in line at the grocery. Of course having to wait an hour to check out gave you plenty of time to witness things. Alcohol use was up in everyone, and Gus felt herself slipping into old and destructive ways with ease. But you had to do something to numb yourself against all of what was and wasn't going on out there.
Her new partner was anything but open to being partnered with a woman, especially one he still considered green. "Took me five years to make detective" he grumbled to her by way of introduction.
"Yeah well, what is your collar rate like?" Gus shot back.
"Damn sight better than the conviction rate" he snarled.
"Good to know" Gus sighed, flipping through the stack of case files she had inherited from the latest cop who moved on to Houston or Atlanta or Jefferson Parish or any other place that was paying better. Training was also hellish, it was a lot different running drills in New Orleans summer heat in full gear.
The guys seemed intent on crushing Gus' spirit as quickly as possible. She took every beating they gave her, refusing to back down, determined to prove herself. Gus' battle cry quickly became 'puke and rally'. This did nothing to quell the punishment her fellow officers insisted on doling out. Dumpster diving would have been a treat compared to the calls they sent her out on.
In the span of a few weeks, Gus was called out to multiple robberies turned to homicides, drug turf battles, and domestic violence murder/suicides then she could count.
Gus clocked as many hours as they would let her, realizing that other than Billy she really didn't have any connections left in town. The few people left that she had spent any time with before the storm had all been in Gage's circle and wanted nothing to do with a plebeian cop.
Gus wasn't making many friends on the force by sticking to strict ethical codes and attempting to play somewhat by the book. It drove her new partner crazy that she didn't drink on the clock, even if she drank like a fish off of it.
"What is wrong with you, I thought you were a New Orleans girl?" McCay chastised her as he pulled into Miss Mae's in between calls and she ordered a club soda.
"I am, but that doesn't mean I don't also want to be good at my job" Gus retorted.
"Who says you can't have a double and still be good at your job. You don't do something to numb the shit we are seeing, you are going to get pulled down by it pretty quick" he warned.
"I do plenty of numbing off the clock" she replied, playing with her lime.
"Why the hell did you come back, Broussard?" McCay pressed on. He knew she had consulted with the NOPD as a psychologist before, he wasn't even really shocked she had turned cop, being legacy and all but he couldn't figure out why she had come back here.
"Why the hell not, looks like you boys need somebody to straighten you out" Gus snorted, seriously thinking about giving in to having a drink on the clock.
"Even you ain't that good, sugar," he said, slapping her on the back sending her club soda flying.
Hot and humid days slipped by in a blur. Hurricane season came, keeping them all on constant alert and turning everyone into an amateur meteorologist. The hotter the days, the meaner the people, so Gus kept herself busy to say the least. She spoke with Stella, who while happy to hear from her, was not entirely accommodating.
Gus did however form a deeper friendship than she ever thought possible when telephoning Adam to check up on him and still also kept in contact with Sheldon and Lindsay.
Everyone avoided mentioning Flack and Gus could only imagine the worst. He had sent her keys back to her with a short note saying he had already moved his stuff out. Gus struggled on what to do with her place, deciding to not worry about it for a month or two since she was staying with Billy for free.
Gus found herself wandering aimlessly around the city on her off days in a daze of disbelief. She felt herself detaching from everything around her, because it was the only way she could process it all. New Orleans had always been a land of extremes, and it was even more apparent now.
The rich were rich enough to not care or be effected by anything, the poor were barely surviving. The sliver by the river moved on like nothing had ever happened and bragged about having more restaurants open now than before the storm. The rest of the city struggled to get basic utilities restored and experienced every aspect of red tape from the federal government on down.
Desperate was far too mild a word for the city, but Gus felt herself holding out hope. Hope for an upswing, hope for the potential the city held, hope for herself to make a life here again.
Yet as the weeks melted by in the oppressive way that New Orleans summers do, Gus felt herself drowning not only in the heat but also in the reality of the hopelessness that really was surrounding not only the city, but her soul.
She missed New York with every ounce of her being. Not just Don, but god she missed him as though her heart had been ripped from her chest. She also missed her friendships and routine and the full life she had going there. But Gus was acutely aware of burning that bridge and wasn't sure it was repairable.
Chapter 4: Angel With a Broken Wing
Lindsay and Stella sat in a booth at Blue Moon, deep into nachos, margaritas and discussion. "So what it is like being the boss?" Lindsay asked.
"I don't envy Mac one bit, and while I can't wait for him to be back for a variety of reasons, paperwork is definitely high on my list" Stella laughed. "How is Danny doing?" she asked.
Lindsay gave a small smile, "You know, Messer, he is stubborn, not obeying the doctors, driving everyone crazy. I know he can't wait to get back in the lab and field."
"I am sure he will be soon enough, he will be doing crazy stunts before you know it" Stella patted her friend's hand across the table.
"And Adam, I heard he wore you down," Lindsay teased.
"Well, his burns were healed. I wish I could get him to talk to psych, he says he has been talking with Gus, but I can't put that in his file," Stella said sullenly.
They sat in silence for a few moments before Lindsay said, "I miss her, like a lot. And Flack, he has been such a jerk lately."
"Can you blame him?" Stella countered.
"But why didn't he go after her?" Lindsay protested.
"Why did she run away? She could have gotten leave, but she quit, Lindsay. And told Flack she couldn't do it anymore," Stella shrugged.
"Do you think she is happy back in New Orleans, I didn't think she had anything left there?" Lindsay wondered.
"I don't know, Linds, but I don't know what she has here anymore either," Stella glumly stated.
Lindsay looked at her friend in shock, "Stella! Doesn't she still have us, the team, Mac? Wouldn't they take her back, if not on in the field than on psych?"
Stella played with her napkin, "I know Gus needed some time and I would love to have her back here, but I don't know if brass feels the same way and funding got cut to psych. And she can't exactly go back to being partnered with Don now can she?"
"I guess not. I don't know, I still can't believe it, I thought those two were meant to be," Lindsay sounded wistful.
"Where is ya head man?" Danny said to Flack as he watched his friend miss another basket on the court, "Hawkes let you have that one."
Sheldon narrowed his eyes at the other two as he took a long drink of water. "Whatever," Flack snapped. Sheldon raised his eyebrows, he had a pretty good idea where the detective's head was.
"Well you are acting like it is up your ass," Danny snapped, "and if you aren't gonna go after her like Lindsay and I told you to then maybe you need to move on and get over her."
"That may be easier said than done, Danny," Sheldon spoke up, feeling protective of Gus even if she had left the city.
"Not everyone can be DL forever, Messer" Flack replied, bouncing the ball angrily at Danny's feet.
Danny stood up and squared off with his friend, "Look, I know you are going to do whatever you wanna do, but quit being an asshole, it is starting to get old," and with that he walked off.
Sheldon looked at Flack for a long moment.
"Don't give me that, Hawkes, I know you are on her side" Flack growled.
"I am not taking sides, Flack, but I just think you should know that she isn't doing so well there. I don't think she should be there."
"What do you want me to do about it?" Flack questioned angrily.
"Maybe try talking to her. Whatever happened with you two, you still were partners, you know her better than anyone, man" Sheldon replied before following off after Danny.
"Partners, lot of good that did me," Flack snarled, shooting the ball and watching it bounce off the rim.
Billy finally called Gus out as they sat on his porch late one night after Labor Day. "Don't hit me, but I don't think you should be here."
Gus shot him a look as she took a long pull of her drink, "You want me to find new friends, I will."
"Not what I meant, though you haven't exactly been crawling in besties since you got back."
"Why shouldn't I be here?" Gus argued, "I have been here most of my life. And the city needs people."
"But the city is killing you," Billy said, moving next to his friend and putting his arm around her. "You look haunted, Gus, it isn't a good look for you. You barely talk to anyone outside of work and when you do, you sound like you have them in interrogation. You have turned cynical and pessimistic and seem like you don't care what happens to you," he pressed on, gripping on to Gus tighter as she tried to throw him off.
"Maybe because I don't," she muttered, going back to drink.
"You stopped using mixers, sugar, you've stopped eating and you are smoking like a chimney," Billy stated, pulling her glass away from her, "I think you need to leave before you kill someone."
"I gotta badge," she joked.
"Or yourself. You can still love New Orleans and not live here. You aren't abandoning us, you are better than this and I am not going to watch the city take another one of my friends!" he demanded.
"It is not like I can go back to New York and be like 'just kidding', I handed in my badge by courier, they have cut my old department and I hardly think my partner is going to want me back since we won't be sleeping together anymore" Gus rambled, feeling panic rise in her chest.
She knew Billy was right, and New York was the one place she had ever felt at home. "Damn it, I messed up" she said hurling her glass at the concrete below.
"Well sugar, hurricane season ain't over yet, maybe you will have an excuse to go back," he replied, trying to lighten the mood.
"You better get on your knees to Our Lady of Prompt Succor, Tibs" Gus said with a small smile.
Gus forced herself to breathe as she dialed a New York number.
"Daddino," came her Lieutenant's gruff voice.
"Uh, hi, Loo, it's Augusta Broussard."
"Broussard" he growled, "how's swamp life?"
"You want the truth?" Gus twirled her hair around her finger.
"Isn't that what you usually give?" Daddino replied, catching something in her tone that softened him a bit.
"It sucks," Gus stated plainly.
"Well it sucked being suddenly without one of my best homicide detectives and with her partner suddenly turning into the department asshole," Daddino pointed out.
Gus sighed, "I had that coming."
Daddino heaved a sigh, "that and a whole lot more. You bailed without warning, Broussard, you sent your badge and gun to me in a box. I knew you were heading for a meltdown, but you could have gotten a leave with no problem, taken a normal vacation, maybe even with your partner boyfriend, kept everyone happy. But that isn't what you decided to do now, was it?"
"No, sir, it wasn't," Gus squeaked, feeling like there was no hope.
"Do you seriously think I can just hand you your job back? Even if you hadn't pissed of Gerrard before you left? Even if you hadn't caused irreparable harm to you partnership?"
The phrase irreparable harm caught Gus in the gut and echoed in her head, she had, there was no hope, no change, she tried to choke back sobs, "I'm sorry, Loo, you are right, I shouldn't have even called. I made my bed, I'll learn to lie in it."
Daddino remained silent long enough for Gus to think he had hung up. Sobs escaped her throat as she slid down the wall she had been leaning on.
Daddino heard Gus' anguish clearly over the line, "hold up, Broussard, let me see what I can do, there has to be some department that will take you."
"Thanks, Loo, really" Gus said, her voice heavy with tears.
"Was that good or bad?" Billy asked from the other room.
"I'm not sure," Gus replied, blowing her nose, "he is going to see what he can do. With my luck, I'll be making coffee for some political machine."
"But you'll be doing it in New York," Billy smiled at his friend.
"Glad you seem so happy about it," Gus said jokingly, though she was serious.
"That shrink you recommended is fabulous, they make wonderful prescription medicines these days, I suggest you try some," Billy teased.
Gus' reply was a pillow thrown at him.