Hello! It is Wednesday and the 28th and I am back with the last chapter for some time of "The Diary of Baby Rey". Today is exactly nine years since Shannon and I first met through this website. How bonkers to me it is that we are close to a decade! As I often say, she is my partner in crime and certainly my partner in creativity. I know that I wouldn't have half the drive as I do without her always being there to lean back on and brainstorm ideas. So this is for her as much that it is for everyone to read! This one ties up the story for now, as well as leads to what I will be working on next. I hope you enjoy. I hope you enjoy this letter from Rey to Ash :P
Disclaimer: I own the story and the OCs mentioned!
Dear darling Daddy,
Yes, this letter is just for you. While it will probably end up in the same place that all of my worded musings wander to, I'm not even going to act like this letter is for anyone but you, my dear father. I think it's easy for a lot of people to think that I got my writing ability from Mommy and the way that she puts pen to paper and creates the most wonderful songs. But I know the truth. It stems from you too, doesn't it? After all, you wrote to us all before we were even an idea, let alone born.
How special that you chose to do that for us. No, how precious that you needed to do that for us. It is my personal opinion that it's made even dearer by the fact that I know that writing is not your forte. It is not even one of the top few ways that you like to express yourself. But when it came to us, you wanted to connect to us in that way. And connect to us you did indeed. Me so, especially.
I've read a handful of your letters and I love them all. Your fast paced, muddled scribblings taking on a shape of their own and forming love with each spilling and smudged ink. The way you tell stories. The way that you comfort. How could that not be a reason that I ended up doing the same thing in my own unique way?
Sure, we can give Uncle James credit too. I wrote through him when I needed to connect with Mommy the most. And Mommy taught me how to use my words powerfully. But I think you taught me how to use them authentically. Without really trying hard at all.
I wonder whether it was a long, thought out decision when you first decided to write to the idea that was Ben and Katie. In my core, however, I think that I know that it was a spontaneous moment. An urge bubbling up inside of you that caused adrenaline to slither through your veins and cause you to shakily write to them. To connect with your first two children. Or maybe they were not the first to receive your earnest penmanship.
Perhaps JJ received a letter of love from you at first. Maybe you found it yet again and gave it to him when you knew he was yours but needed to blossom elsewhere. That is not for me to ask. Regardless, it's an exciting prospect, musing who was the lucky recipient of that first fatherly doting. It's a tradition that has never ceased for you. After all, it is one of the ways in which you wholeheartedly show your love the most.
I think that you probably wished that your own father did this kind of thing for you, so that is why you make such a sincere effort to keep it up. There were times when you didn't hear from him at all, did you? And certainly not in letter form. And absolutely no words of affection, wisdom and unconditional support.
When you became a father, you became one for your children whom you would always cherish and for the young version of yourself who had needs that were never met. How lucky are Ben, Katie, James, Jessika and me to get to relish in that love that is filled with determination yet softness? How lucky we are that you understood the past and made it stay there, hardly ever ricocheting back like an echo and history not repeating itself. That is another act of love that you were able to accomplish that.
I appreciate all of your lessons that you've offered to me, both through word of mouth and an arm around the shoulders as well as these remarkable letters. And I appreciate all the more the effort that you show every single day to be the father that you know every child should have. How could all of these traits of yours not make their way into me? How could all of these traits of yours not inspire me so truly that I mirrored them and they became natural, like they were bestowed upon me all long? Yes, writing may be Mommy's forte. But it is your gift.
The letters that you have written to all five of your children – no, six of them – have been treasured beyond belief. The words that you have offered. The comfort you have presented. All of that has made us into the people that we now are. I know for one that I want to take that art form that you have created and use it to bring a great many things to others as well, as you have done. And I know in my heart that the others feel the same way.
Perhaps when Katie scribbles down on scrap paper the words from a book that she does not want to forget, she does that with quotes from your letters to her as well. She holds Justin's words near too because they somehow remind her of you, utterly honest and intricate and poetic in their own occasionally chaotic way.
I'm sure that Ben tears certain segments of words away from the remaining paper and tapes them on his walls so that he can look at them every single day. He wouldn't dare transcribe them like his twin sister would. He wants them forever in your handwriting, because they come from you.
Maybe James lies awake at night and looks at the ceiling, and instead of focusing on the swirling patterns that reside up there, flashes of sentences that you have strung together just for him dance across his memory. His lips gently move as he reminds himself of what you wrote. He never wants to forget.
There's a chance that Jessika keeps entire pages of letters tucked in between her recipes. While your words are not always about cooking (though sometimes!), your words of encouragement and support remind her that she can do anything. And it's in the kitchen that she is most put to the test and needs your letters the most.
It may be the case that JJ traces his finger along each and every word that you put forth to him, the bumpiness of your diligent lettering forming your own kind of braille just for him and informing him of lessons that are there if only someone could read between the lines. He hovers over each and every sentence like they could be your last. After all, he understands more than any how fleeting life can be.
And then there's me. I of course do all of these things, just like my siblings. But I also write a letter in return to you, hopefully with the same heart and the same love as all of the times that you have taught me to give each and every thing my all.
You deserve to receive letters too, Daddy. You deserve to feel the encouragement and support and stability and unconditional love that you offer to us all. So here it is back to you. Never stop these expressions of love, and ours will never grow weary either.
Not because it's a give and take kind of thing. But because the world needs that energy in it. The exchanging of love in its purest form. I know that it can change the world. I have seen it. Your words have changed the world for us. I know that we are your universe. You are ours too. And one day, these scribbles might be all we have left of each other.
For now though, the love is alive in our beings and our letters too. And that is yet another thing to focus on. And absolutely cherish. As we do each other
From just one of the ever-expanding pieces of your heart,
Rey.
There you go! Thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed :) So yes, as from August 28th I will be returning to my old story of "Dear Darlings" because it is been a very long time since I visited that collection of stories and because of the additions to the world that Shannon and I created, there will certainly be new scenarios and reasons that Ash will write to his children! I must thank everyone who read this story as I tackled it again over the past year. In the mean time, I will be back again next Wednesday to update Pikachu Tales so see you then!
Amy signing out :)