Raise 'Em Till Eleven Then Go To Heaven

A/N YOU THOUGHT THIS FIC WAS GONE FOREVER, BUT IT WAS I, DIO!

"You know it's gonna be good when DIO is in all caps." Joseph said. DIO walked past them and approached Giorno.

"Oh, you're approaching me? Instea-"

"Shut the fuck up you little twat. Let's go." DIO said, grabbing Giorno's arm. Giorno stayed put.

"No."

"Right, we should probably kill some Joestar scum before we go."

"No, I'm not leaving with you."

"And why would that be, son?"

Josuke butts in. " Father's day rap battle!"

"What?"

Goku sighed. " It's kinda what we do here. Drop bars so hard we end up behind them or someone literally drops."

Vegeta butted in. "Who new Kakarot had so much swag? Aren't you supposed to be getting a hand job from Akira Toriyama and a pat on the head or something?"

Everyone ignored the stupid motherfucker's words.

"Fine. But if I win you're coming with me."

Giorno smirked. " Deal." He took a sip from his now cold 'tea'. " I'll go first."

"You're lucky it's father's day. I might go easy on you. Remember that green hairband? That shit looked cheesy on you."

"Not good." Joseph commented.

"I'll resurrect Freeza. Tell him get Freezy on you."

"Someone's been reading Dragon Ball Z." Vegeta said with a smirk.

"I'm allergic to lame. Achoo! I'm sneezing on you."

"Is he homosexual?" Goku asked.

"No, but you are!" Giorno snapped.

"May I quote Mista saying to you 'Don't take my clothes off, I'll feel it more'?" Goku quipped.

"May I bring up the way you looked at Vegeta's ass in Fusion Reborn?" Giorno retorted.

"May I ask you both the shut the ever living hell up or I'll shove a hot rod up both your asses." Jotaro said.

"That's pretty g-" Goku was cut off.

"No homo."

"Fuck, you got me there."

"I mean, it's JoJo's, so probably." Joseph stated.

Giorno looked at him, confused. "You're about 87.46 seconds too late to say that."

"Shut up, Giorno. Now it's DIO'S turn!" Bulma shouted, getting everyone hyped up for the shitstorm that was about to ensue.

"That was trash. I just wanted you to know that. Gold shoes on my feet, where are my toes at? Your girl loves me. She hand washes my drawls. You're just mad, CUZ YOU CAME OUTTA MY BALLS!"

'OOH!' sounded throughout the room, a clear indicator of who was winning.

"They weren't even your balls. They were your brother's."

"Speaking of balls I need new ones." Okuyasu was cradling his crotch.

"Josuke has two sets just take one." Goku joked. Josuke cringed at the thought.

"No, really, I think I'm internally bleeding."

Giorno cleared his throat.

"Wait a minute, where's Chichi?"

"Oh, that screaming bitch? I tied her up and shoved her in the closet. Don't worry about her, Akira didn't like her anyway." Jotaro said.

"Your jokes are dark, Mr Popo, your hairline looks like the Mcdonalds logo."

"How dare you oppose me, mortal." Vegeta said in a deadly tone.

"Yeah, that line only applies to Vegeta." Bulma noted.

"Let me finish. Everytime I see your stand, I fucking laugh."

"He never swears this much."

"Even on father's day, you can still get cut in half!"

"With what, a butterknife? Perhaps a fork?"

"Oh, you don't wanna say that, Narancia took a good hit from a fork." Fugo said.

"I dunno, sounds kinda gay to me." Goku chuckled.

"Where the heck did you come from?" Trunks questioned.

"Tell me, Giorno. Does a fruitcake like you ever experience fear?"

"Umm, actually, I'm not a fruit-"

"Fruitcake! You're not fucking with me. 'My stands gonna go', sounds kind of suspect to me. You're strong, but you'll never match your daddy. I'll bend you over my knee, and muda muda your fanny!"

Another round of ' oohs' filled the room, mostly from Trunks.

"Quiet, I'm not done with this punk. I'll rip the 's' off your name, and throw your ass in the trunk!"

"You nonce, there's no 's' in 'Giorno'."

"Damn, this is the issue with plagiarism. Forget it. Listen to this, it'll hit like a final flash."

"Damn right it will!" Vegeta shouted with exhilaration.

"Because even with the dragon radar, you couldn't find no ass!"

"OOOH!"

"Bye Giorno." Jotaro said.

"What's a dragon radar?" Giorno asked.

"Uh, be more like Koichi, reading his Dragon Ball Z manga like a good boy."

"I don't think that's how it goes." Koichi said, putting down the Dragon Ball Z Vol. 17 he was reading.

"Are we just gonna act like that's normal. You weren't here two minutes ago." Goku was ignored.

"Shut up. A dragon radar is used to collect Dragon Balls. It shows you where they are."

"Oh, I think I've heard of those."

"Well, let's get going" DIO said, a once again grabbing his son's arm gayly.

A/N I don't HATE Vegeta, but Vegeta is an irredeemably inept loafer and a putrid blood-freezing mental midget with the natural grace of an intoxicated beluga whale. Also the rap was stolen by SSJ9K and slightly edited because I failed Year 4 music.