Chapter 30: strong enough

I thought that in the end, the party went quite well. I thought it was good nobody knew I was that mysterious new member and I was happy both master and Erza defended me. I thought all of that could just slid through and leave me innocent.

Unfortunately, not everyone believed that lie. My parents got suspicious though. They had no doubt master would defend me knowing I was there with the people I wanted to know the least. They'd defend me and do anything in order to keep my secret if this is what I want.

But those lies didn't effect my parents. They knew already I was friendly with them and hearing there was a new member, they were afraid that I wasn't only hanging there because of friends, but also practicing magic which is forbidden to my family.

Therefore as soon as we got home my father tripped me down while mother went somewhere in the other room.

I tried to ask what was wrong and why he did this to me, but he grabbed me on my hair and pushed aside while all I was able to do was scream from the pain.

Mother came back with the handcuffs which I was able to read from her mind, she had already used them successfully. It was made of magic sealing stone, they are used against wizards. I didn't need much effort to understand who they were used on before.

But now it was used against me.

"Do you know what is this?" they noticed my expression. "Don't be afraid. It's only for safety," mother said with a calming voice before they were put on my wrists. I tried to resist them though, but father caught my hands and held it, so mother could do that. "They don't hurt, so you have nothing to fear. They won't make any change to you unless you're a wizard. But you aren't, are you?"

I slowly shook my head. Every part of my body was trembling. This was going on the worst case scenario. And I could see they might just have planed it all while I was at the guild allowing Mira to make my hair.

"Them stop resisting," mother ordered. I bit my lip and did as she said. Her voice was so cold. So emotionless. Like she wasn't my mother. She wasn't a human.

"What are you going to do?" I asked though my tears. I tried my best to look at her eyes, but my view was completely blurry.

"We'll just ask a few questions. If you pass it all well, we'll call it a night," she answered. I didn't like how it sounded. Ask a few questions... I knew a few ways how they could do this, which the one I didn't want to suffer the most was...

I heard the water flow hitting the bowl. Oh no. Anything but that. Anything but that! I started to panic. This was bad. Worse than bad. The nightmare I was forced to go through so many years ago was about to happen again.

The whole reason of my illness. The whole reason I had schizophrenia.

They promised to never go this far. Not ever again.

Guess they broke the promise and were about to do the worst. This meant they surely had some serious questions to ask me. Ones I'd never be able to resist telling the truth.

But it wasn't exactly where my thoughts went when I understood what was going to happen.

My baby. My little precious child growing within me. They shouldn't know I was pregnant, but if there was any reason to make me go through this they might already suspect. And I was worried how'd it effect this child's growth.

"No! Please, anything, but water! Please, don't do that! I'll do anything, but please, don't do this to me!" I cried trying to free myself and get away, but father grabbed my both hands and forced to stand. He held the handcuffs behind me, so I couldn't resist. I tried to stand back and begged to not do this, but they still pushed me to the bathroom where the perfect sized bowl was almost ready.

I looked at the flowing water with terrified eyes. It has been ten years. Ten years since I had feared of this kind of torture. I barely remembered what was that about. I forgot what I did to deserves this ten years ago, but I knew I was pulled into the water for four times before I lost my consciousness.

The flowing stopped. The bowl was full. I looked at my reflection in the water, but all I saw was the bottom and a reflected light of the room.

"You do remember what those people talked during the dinner tonight?" father asked.

Huh? They weren't asking about Rufus?

"Uh-huh," I weeped though confusion was probably noticeable enough. But this question was no good either. Part of me knew this was coming. I couldn't talk though. I felt my body freezing though my heart was beating so fast I thought it could jump out of my chest.

Father grabbed my ponytail, which previously was a bun and pushed closer to the bowl. I quickly took a breath, but my face didn't hit the water. It was so close, though. So close I almost could feel the breeze coming from it. The water was cold. Same as the last time. It was so cold it was hard to hold the breath in it. So cold it hurt feeling the little needles hitting every inch of skin.

"Talk to me when I'm asking! Talk like a proper lady instead of mumbling nonsense under your nose! What noble are you when you can't even talk like one?" father yelled into my ear. I closed my eyes.

"YES! I REMEMBER!" I tried to say as clear as possible, my voice almost cracked.

Father pulled me back up and I yelped again.

"Good girl. So you do remember the talks about the new wizard in Fairy Tail. Do you happen to know who it might be?"

I tried to clear my breathing. "No, father. I haven't heard anything about it," I lied hoping to keep the same answer as master and Erza though all I could think was the bowl of water in front of me.

"Oh really? Alright. I accept that answer. Second question: what are you doing in the guild? Tell straight forward, without going edgeways," father continued.

I had to play this smart. I couldn't tell them about me using magic, but I couldn't lie either. I had to find something what could give me a reason to go there so offen, what I could do there instead of home. Something that might actually be troublesome for me, though satisfying them, but at the same time make me clean.

"I- I read books mostly," I said eventually.

"What books?"

"About magic. I try to understand why people want that power and why they choose one or another type of magic. I-I try to figure why people even need someone like them in our world while they can have anything without it. Like we managed to have," I tried to explain. I hoped it'd be enough.

"Do you yourself use magic?"

So there it was the question which was bothering them the most. Almost the most.

"No. I don't need that power," I said.

"Hmm... I doubt you're telling the truth here," father said. Mother nod and then that was it. I was pulled into a freezing cold water.

That feeling was different from what I remembered. It's been so long that the memory I had was rather an illusion I myself made. In reality it was much worse. I was too weak to resist, with chains to defend and without magic to call help. I was alone and hopeless.

I wished so much Rufus'd come and save me. I know he would. Anyone from the guild would if I sent the warning. But I had no magic. I felt so useless. And I missed Rufus. He'd never let me go through this. Knowing the panic I have he'd do anything to save me from it. Save both me and out baby no matter the cost. I knew he would. But he wasn't here. He was on that quest for over a week now and hell knows when he's coming back. If he's coming back.

I thought I won't be able to hold the air in my lungs anymore. I thought I'll really take the water into my lungs. But I was taken out. What glory it was to be able to breath again. I tried to get as much air as possible at the same time trying to clear my mind and not think how soaked I was. I couldn't panic or it'll win over me.

"Have you used magic, Neda?" father asked again.

"No," I said again and at the same moment I was pulled back again. He really didn't believe me. Neither of them did. And they were right. I use magic. All the time. Even against them. But they know nothing. I was sure everything they ask was based on guesses. They only wanted to hear me saying what they think I was doing. But I tried my best to keep strong. If I give up, what's the point of lying? I knew they'd do something about it and I was afraid this'd be worse than living hell. Then I'd better just die.

"Have you ever used magic?" I heard me asking again. Because of the lack of air, my head and minds were so fuzzy. And because of the panic I barely was able to think at all. I just wanted to wrap my arms around my knees, hide in the corner of the room and cry.

"I swear, I haven't," I said back with weak voice. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to pull the third time off.

"Alright then. Let's say, you haven't. But is that possible that you still joined Fairy Tail?"

"Why should I? It'd be foolish to do so," I answered breathing heavily. I couldn't even look them at the eye anymore. I felt really tired.

"So you say, you're not?" father tried to get the answer.

"I'm not a member of Fairy Tail," I confirmed as clear as I could.

But then I got worried. What if they'll try to check it? Without magic I won't be able to make the illusion in their minds. They'll definitely catch me lying.

"Something tells me you're lying here. Shall we check?" mother crossed her arms on her chest like she was reading my thoughts this time.

How unpleasant the world is. It seems like everything goes against me. All the time.

"Members can become only the magic users. Since I don't use magic, I can't possibly be a member. It'd be against the rules, don't you already know that?" I tried to defend hoping they'll give up on that. Because if they still check it, everything would be blown to open. "Also, isn't that beneficial to have wizard friends? It can raise our reputation even more."

Father hesitated if I really was telling the truth. Meanwhile, I weeped preying he wouldn't check it. I hoped that was all. I didn't want any more questions. And I honestly hoped that everything I told there could get into their heads as my silly intentions to use the famous Fairy Tail for my own good.

"Fine. I'll accept your answer. Let's move on then," he talked. I bit my lip. Oh no. I didn't like the way it was all going. "Do you know who Rufus Lore is?"

I felt like the time has stopped around me. I could perfectly hear the beating of my heart, but it seemed it was going slower. Rufus... They were asking about Rufus. They wanted me to tell them I was dating him. If I say I didn't, they'll know I was lying. I didn't want them to suspect me. I knew I was playing it dangerously. But I had to play it splendidly. I couldn't tell them about my engagement or pregnancy. They'd kill him. I was sure they could. He promised to leave me alone, but there I was back with him. I had to tell them. To show I was completely broken.

"Yes. I know him," I answered eventually.

"What relationship you were in?" mother asked. She already knew the answer. So I had to tell what she already knew.

"We were..." I closed my eyes. "We were in a romantic relationship."

I felt tears running down my cheeks. I didn't want to tell them that. I was proving how many secrets I had. I was showing I wasn't worth trusting. I thought I'd break. I was really about to break.

"Ah... Neda," mother sighed. "And we thought you knew well you can't be with a wizard. You could be with anyone, we don't care from what family he'd be. Even if it was a street guy, but no. You had to pick a wizard."

"Are you still meeting him?" father asked.

"No. I'm not meeting him anymore," I said through my teeth. I felt my ponytail hurting even more.

"Really? Why?" he still kept the subject. Like he already didn't know why.

"He ditched me. I wanted to introduce him to you. I wanted to ask your permission to be with him. I knew it was forbidden, but I believed we could be together if I prove how much I love him. But then he disappeared. Just vanished and never came back," I started crying. I clearly remembered how I was dreaming of his return. I was dreaming how we could have our happy ever after. Of course, now we were together and had a little baby growing inside of me. But at that time I was filled of those girly illusions.

"Love? You love him?" mother asked.

I took another deep breath. "I do. Even though he left me more than half a year ago. I know that was a sin, but I don't want anyone else," I cried.

"Lies," I heard fathers voice before I felt the coldness of the water again. I didn't even have time to take the breath. I screamed as soon as I was pulled into this. It hurt so badly. I accidentally took the water inside my mouth and together with it it ran though my nose to lungs. I was forced to swallow some of it since there was no air. I felt like that coldness was burning me from the inside. I tried my best to pull my head out, but it was worthless. I was about to drown.

But I didn't even loose consciousness when I got to breath air again. I coughed painfully trying to get as much water out of my body as I could. But it was pointless. It got so hard to breath.

"Tell the truth, dear. You're still meeting him. Even worse, he proposed and you accepted that," mother said.

"N-no. He didn't," I tried to deny it. My body was seriously shaking I was shivering so badly and my mind wasn't stable anymore. Please, no more water, no more of this... I beg you..! I'll do anything, just let me go...!

This was all I could think of.

"Where's the ring, Neda? Give it back and we'll call it a night," father asked.

"What ring?" I whispered trying my best not to think of myself being all soaked or having an entire bowl of water just under my head. I wasn't about to give up as long as I was in control, I won't let them win. As long as I could stay conscious. As long as I could handle it. And believe me, it was harder than it looked. As hard as fighting Erza

"You wore it when you worked for the mayor. Not one person asked me about that. They even described it the same. Well, such ring is easy to remember. So tell me, where is it?" mother put her palms on my cheeks and forced me to look at her.

"That ring I bought myself. It has fake Stellanium, but it still looks like real. I bought it, so those men wouldn't try to hook up with me," I weeped.

"Why?"

"I already told you! I still love Rufus-sama. I don't want anyone else!" I tried to lie. This was such a bad lie, but believable and logical enough. That wasn't making me any good though, but it was better to make only me guilty. I wanted to make them feel guilty too. If they hadn't made him to back off, I wouldn't have gotten in this situation. I wanted them to feel guilty that because of them I got my heart broken. But unfortunately, I wasn't able to read minds anymore. My magic was taken away from me and head spinning like hell. I wouldn't have been able to think of a better lie than this. Rufus was all I was thinking those days anyways.

"You're so young, Neda, you'll fall for someone again. But if you keep pushing everyone away, you'll never find anyone. We have faith in you. You always were better behaved and smarted than your sister. Please, don't mess it up and one day you'll run everything we've got," mother confessed. I knew she was serious about it. She looked serious. They really wanted to pass all of the business to me.

"What about Evelyn!? She's already more experienced then me! All I did was study!" I asked furiously. Were they really pushing her aside? Or was that my cracky mind which couldn't process anything anymore allowing only the anger explode?

"She does mistakes while you... Your brain works twice as fast as hers. You don't do mistakes. You manage to think of all possible ways and find a perfect option. You're a real Lettercard. The one we can be proud of. Therefore, please, just follow the rules."

"B-but if I take everything... What Evelyn will do!?" I shivered. She already was mad at me and if with all those lies I even get that empire into my hands... She' ll never forgive me. She was working so hard for this. I did too, but I don't want all of that. I want to find adventures and travel. I don't want to discuss business with someone and sit with all the paperwork. I don't want to take all the credits while my sister was the one deserving all of that more than me. I was a betrayer of this family and my parents knew that, but they wanted me to realize I had to follow those rules and I'll get everything. Or maybe they actually lied about it. It'd absolutely unfair if they left Evelyn without anything.

"She's already working with the Queen Hisui in communication department. Let's leave it like that, shall we?"

"Umm..." I bit my lip. I couldn't bare it anymore. I didn't want to see Evelyn's face when she hears it. She already rejected me as her sister, she' d make me her enemy if she knew parents write about to pass their work to me instead of her.

"Don't you want that, sweetie?" mother raised an eyebrow.

"Y-yes... I was just thinking... I work as a mail deliverer. I barely had touched more than that," I said it slowly restraining myself at maximum capabilities. Didn't know how long I could hold it though, but I tried to go through this without rejecting the offer. I still couldn't tell them the truth. Especially when my and my child's lives were on the line. I couldn't risk getting pulled in the water again. "I don't have any experience in our business."

"I thought about that lately too," father confessed though still held me on my hair. "You got to meet plenty of our partners already which may be useful. I'm planning to start taking you on trips with me in order to help us to find the compromises for the future transportation campaigns we have. In a week we'd find another deliver and you'd be promoted. Would it be alright with you?"

I agreed. I had no choice over this, but to accept the offer. I knew it meant longer work hours and less training as a wizard, but on the other hand I'll have more days off, since I'll be only an advisor.

On the other hand, if I go on trips with my father I won't manage to keep my pregnancy from him for long. He'll definitely see me getting sick or dizzy. I don't even want to talk about when my belly is going to start growing. How I won't fit into those dresses my parents just got me.

"Alright then. There's only one question left," father said and showed me the book. I immediately recognized it. This was the encyclopedia Rufus gave me. I was able to feel relief again. I could go through this one easily.

"Levy-cha... -sama gave it to me. I already told you I was reading books about magic. It's one of them. You can have a look yourselves. There's no spells in it which proves I don't even intend to learn magic. It only informs about the types of magic generally," I explained.

"You'll give that book back to her. I don't want any of it at my house," he said and put the book next to the bowl. I felt my hands finally being released and chains taken off. I quickly checked my wrists if there weren't any marks. Everything looked normal. I was free to go get some sleep. But my head was still dizzy. All this water... I was impressed myself I managed to fight for this long. And now that I could relax, it all blew on me and I found myself falling. My legs couldn't hold me any longer and I felt so weak, so weak I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter, because it was quite hard emotionally to write it for me and I put a lot of effort to make the chapter as good as possible. So please follow, favorite or review if you can!

Name: Evelyn Lettercard

Age: 24 years old

(doesn't use any magic)

Likes: wizards, Queen Hisui

Dislikes: anything she doesn't understand

Remarks: older Neda's sister who lives and works in capital Crocus. She's working for the Queen Hisui and is responsible of communication with other countries and in the Mail Post with all kinds of duties wherever she's needed. She willingly moved there because of the Grand Magic Games and her love for wizardry. However, she accepts her family's rules and wishes Neda would quit on her dream.