-25ish years ago
When he looked back on his life there had been two defining moments outside of the birth of his kids. When he and Lin broke up and when his father died when he was 17 years old. His dad had always traveled for work often to remote locations they sometimes didn't hear from him for days. So when a week went by without his mother or anyone else hearing from his dad no one blinked. The call from China with news of a plane crash that had killed his father was a shock.
Tenzin appreciated that Lin didn't say she was sorry to him when she found out his dad died. All she had done was hug him and mumbled 'oh Tenzin' he had been sick and tired of hearing I'm sorry for your loss already. He had hugged her back and let her lead him up to his room away from everyone else. Where he had broken down in her arms and she still didn't say anything and he was grateful. She just rubbed her hand up and down his back and threaded her fingers through his hair as he had cried into her chest. She had let him process and grieve on his own time letting him come to her if he wanted to talk. She had stayed with him for most of the week. It was the first time she had ever slept over. His mother was too overwhelmed to care or notice and Toph either didn't care or felt guilty about what had happened. But that last part Tenzin hadn't known about until years later.
When he found out it had caused the first real fight between the two of them. Although at the time Lin had just found out too. He was too shocked and still hurting to see that. He remembered yelling at her; he couldn't remember what exactly he didn't know if he's relieved or ashamed of that fact. He remembered her not yelling back at him initially but eventually she was angry enough to. He remembered not sleeping that night pacing around the house and then doing push-ups trying to sleep but can't because he's too angry. Looking back he could try to give the excuse that Lin was a safe person to show that anger to. She was really the only person he could at the time but he should have never taken it out on her. He didn't sleep for two days before his brother finally asked Lin to talk to him or tell him what to do about It to get Tenzin to snap out of it. Lin had come and he broke down. He is almost hundred percent sure he apologized several times but can't remember any of what either of them had said; it was just a jumbled mess of an emotional soup in his memory. He also learned two things, one she loved him a lot more than he thought she did. They were young and what someone does for the person they love wasn't something he had known at the time, at least not first hand. Two he didn't ever want to lose her, losing his father hurt but losing Lin would be unimaginably painful.
-18 years ago
It wasn't that Tenzin didn't support her. He did, he just didn't like the lack of control and flexibility that came with military life. He understood why she had joined, it was the same reason as her mother had, to spite her grandparents and mother, and certainly after 9/11 everyone's views had changed. Lin also did mostly office work; some kind of information analysis was as much as she could tell him. But it was hard. They were fortunate that she had been stationed in San Diego still on the West Coast and he had followed her there when he went to law school. They had also been lucky that for the last two years she hadn't been given orders to a new duty station but now with the troop surge in Iraq Lin had warned him that was likely to change. She'd likely be moved to fill in for someone who was unlucky enough to be heading over there. What neither had expected was that she would be the one to get the orders of an eight month deployment to Baghdad. Tenzin really didn't like it. He was naturally a more high strung and nervous person than Lin and this was not helping. He really really didn't like it.
"I don't understand why me." Lin had told him. "I don't work on middle eastern intelligence."
"What did you CO say?" Tenzin had asked almost numb by the news.
"That they don't care right now. They just need intel guys over there and in Afghanistan." She sighed resting her head against his shoulder. He rested his head on top of hers and nodded. "It could be worse, it's a short deployment only 8 months instead of a year and it's the green zone." Lin pointed out.
Tenzin resisted the urge to point out the green zone was a generous term and 8 months being short was very much relative. "Yeah, it's probably the only one you'll be called for too right before you enlistment is up." he said instead.
She nodded. "Are you good for Mexican takeout tonight?" She asked, changing the subject.
"Yeah, your usual? I'll call it in." Tenzin said, kissing her head at her nod of confirmation before getting up to phone their order in. He was desperate to think about anything other than her news.
-18 years ago - Iraq
"Hey LT" one of the other lutenients in Lin's platoon said, coming up to her. "There's a call for you waiting said it was important."
"Who called?" Lin asked confused, she and Tenzin talked last week and he hadn't mentioned anything wrong.
"Sue, she said she was your sister and it was about your grandmother." The lutentenit said.
The last thing Lin wanted to do was to speak to Sue but she was too curious not to and her grandmother did concern her. "Hello" she said when she picked up the phone.
"Hi Lin." Sue's voice was distant but still awkward. "Um, grandma would like to speak with you. She has to have surgery to get a pacemaker put in and wants to talk to you."
"What?" Lin said surprised. "Where is she?"
"We came to Singapore, don't worry." Sue said. "So you'll talk to her?"
"Yes," Lin said. After she spoke to her grandmother Sue came back on the line.
"Hey I know you wouldn't believe me but you should know." Sue started and Lin sighed. Her little sister really hadn't changed at all. "Mom knew about Tenzin's dad getting killed. Like before they found out."
"What? Are you crazy Sue? Don't answer that, because the answer is YES. Do you hear yourself right now?!" Lin sneathed at her little sister.
"No Lin, I'm serious. I heard her and grandfather talking about it." Sue hissed back at her now. "She said she had arranged the trip for Aang and she heard about the plane crash before Katara did."
"Goodbye Sue." Lin said. "No, Lin-" She heard before she hung up.
-17 years ago - San Diego
"Lt. Beifong." Bumi drawled grinning at her as she walked towards him and the car.
"Lt commander." Lin drawled back and offered a half ass salute before Bumi hugged her.
"How was the desert?" He asked.
"Hot" Lin deadpanned as they got in the car. The plan was to surprise Tenzin. Bumi was going to call him saying he was going to drag him out tonight while he was in town. Giving Lin the chance to slip into the apartment unnoticed to surprise him.
"Ready?" Bumi asked. Lin nodded she was nervous about this but all excited to finally see him again. "Hey lil brother, where are you?" he paused waiting for an answer. "The library? perfect, you need me. You and I are going out tonight, you need to unwind…"
Tenzin was not amused to see his older brother literally drag him from his stack up book at the library. "Bumi this isn't funny. YOU might be on vacation but I'm not. I have to study for the bar." Tenzin complained on the way to his apartment to change because he looked like a dweeb according to Bumi and would 'kill his game' to be seen in public with him.
"It's good to take a break sometimes, loosen up!" Bumi said. Tenzin rolled his eyes and pulled out his keys. "I promise you you'll thank me. In fact you should do it now."
"What?" Tenzin said, confused. "Why should I thank you, you're making me fall behind in my studying schedule."
"Oh I think you'll thank me. Oh and fall more than a little behind in fact, but you are welcome little brother." Bumi said cocky anyway and pushed the door open.
Tenzin looked up and couldn't breathe at the sight. But the moment Lin touched him he picked her up and held her as close and as tight as possible. Lin held on to him equally as desperately, her arms and legs wrapped around him for the first time in eight months. He must have moved into the apartment to meet her because he vaguely heard the door shut behind them. Neither of them had said anything yet, he was too in shock at the fact that she was here in his arms again. She had been supposed to call him this week with an update of when she was coming home and yet here she was.
"Hey," Lin muttered, her voice was thick with emotion and he had to swallow hard before words would even form.
"Hey," He murmured back. Lin's thumb rubbed a circle on his neck comfortingly. "I love you." he managed to get out.
"I love you too. I missed you so much." Lin told him back her voice choked. Tenzin finally had enough wherewithal to walk them over to the coach pulling her down with him. So that she was straddling his lap.
"God I missed you." He whispered, kissing the first part of her he could reach, her neck and jaw now. Lin pulled back enough to kiss him properly and he felt himself melt through the coach and end up as a pile of mush on the floor from that kiss. He really couldn't believe she was back, he finally had her back. "I hope you know I'm not letting go of you for the rest of the night." he told her completely serious.
Lin laughed. "What happened to studying?"she asked, cocking her head and her eyes sparkled knowing about his attempts to get out of 'hanging out with Bumi'.
"Am studying, every change in you." He muttered into her neck breathing her in, as her fingers threaded through his hair and his hands ran up and down her spine. He thought he hadn't felt this happy or content in many many months and maybe ever.
"Why grace me with your presence today?" Toph said, sitting back and spreading her arms as if she was a goddess worthy of worshipping.
"I just came back from Iraq and that's what you say to me?" Lin asked rhetorically. It had been a week since she had landed state side. She had told herself the entire time she was in Iraq that she wouldn't come here and question Toph.
"Hey I joined up too, don't forget that. I know damn well ain't nothing special about that." Toph sniffed dismissively
Lin crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. "Sue called me when I was over there." She said getting right to the point no need to be here longer than she had to be. She just needed to put the doubt she had to bed once and for all.
"Huh, didn't know you two talk." Toph commented off handedly, still not paying attention to her.
"We don't, your mother had heart surgery." Lin said as coolly as she could manage.
Which apparently wasn't enough to vail her disapproval because Toph said, "Well she survived didn't she."
Lin gritted her teeth, there was no point in arguing with her. Toph would never change; it was better to just stick with what she was here for. "Yes, but Sue mentioned something I need to ask you about."
"Yes?" she drawled.
"Did you kill Aang?"
"What?!" Toph exclaimed, shocked and sitting up. "No, what the hell are you talking about?! I didn't kill him." She spat.
"Well Sue said she overheard you and Grandfather talking about it." Lin said not backing down regardless of her mother's response; although it did make her feel better about the nagging doubts she had had.
"No, I didn't kill him. I helped him get to Tibet with contacts and navigating the Chinese Government." Toph told her.
"What happened?" Lin asked, now genuinely curious. Aang's work and travels had always been something the adults never talked about when she and Tenzin were kids. SHe only knew the basics of that he had been a human rights advocate.
"Aang had already made a name for himself with the Chinese. Me and Sokka both told him it was a matter of time before they snatched him for something stupid if he went over there again." She explained. "We thought Nepal would work and would be safe."
"Sue said you knew he died before everyone else did."
"Yes, and No. I heard back from some people that there was a plane crash in Nepal. Had Sokka looked into it because of the time frame we hadn't heard from him. Sokka looked into it and found out he was on the plane." Toph told her.
"So it was sabotage." Lin asked the sinking feeling in her gut back about the news over his death. As far as Katara had told her kids it had been an accident, rouge winds had been the reason for the crash high up in the himalayas it was dangerous flying in the best of conditions.
"More likely than not." Toph summed up. "I knew the Chinese wanted him and other's dead, even knew someone in the government that told me that and told him that. Didn't stop him, he was too damn optimistic."
Lin grimaced, she wasn't looking forward to telling Tenzin. SHe knew he would blow up over this. His dad was a sensitive topic to him but he wouldn't like that his uncle and her mother and maybe even his mother? "Does Katara know?" She asked.
"Yeah She knew as soon as we told her he was dead. Never even asked, we had tried to get her to talk him out of going but…" Toph shrugged. Lin had a deep grimace on her face about that news. "She wouldn't let us say anything but the official report, wouldn't even acknowledge it. It was her decision, it was how she grieved." Toph offered, she must have guessed what Lin had been thinking about. Lin had no idea how to tell Tenzin, no idea at all. She had to though she could never keep something like this from him.
It turned out that Bumi was right, for maybe the first time in his life. Tenzin was happy Lin was home overjoyed actually but he did fall more than a little behind in his studying schedule but that was hardly a sacrifice to make.
"Hey Ten?" Lin asked hesitantly one night two weeks after she had gotten back.
"Yeah?" Tenzin said, looking over at her on the other side of the room.
"I need to tell you something I found out." She was really hesitant about whatever it is that she had to say and it made Tenzin nervous because it must be important.
"What is it?" He asked gently.
Lin bite her lip before spitting out something that Tenzin never thought he'd hear in his life. "Your dad was murdered."
Tenzin couldn't quite make all of the piece fit. "What?" he asked in disbelief and confusion.
"Your dad was killed by the Chinese government." Lin said her voice was slow and soft, her features were pinched in concern for him too.
"But, How- how do you know that?" Tenzin asked.
"My mother told me." That might make even less sense to Tenzin.
"What? when did you talk to your mother? Why would she know that? What are you talking about?" Tenzin berated her with questions now, mostly because his brain could not filter his thoughts anymore, he just said them as soon as they popped into his head.
"It's kinda a long story," Lin admitted biting her lip. "Sue called me when I was in Iraq."
"Wait how long have you known this?" Tenzin asked, completely stunned that she's known about this since at least two weeks ago yet never thought to bring it up that he had a right to know that his father had been murdered by a foreign government by her homeland's government.
Lin cringed at his accusing tone. "Sue called me a few months ago-"
"A few months?!" Tenzin nearly yelled. "Why the hell didn't you tell me? Why are you even bothering to tell me now then?"
"I didn't believe her!" Lin snapped back at him. "I only found out for sure and most of the details last week when I talked to my mother."
"You still waited a week to tell me?"
Lin cringed again, she could hear the accusation in his voice. She knew it would be there, she knew he wouldn't react well to this and he would need to freak out and would need time to cool down after too. "I'm sorry, I didn't know how to tell you, Ten."
"Tell me, just tell me what she said." Tenzin said, frustrated. Lin could feel the emotion and anger building in him as she told exactly what she knew.
"I'm sorry, Ten." Lin said after she finished.
"I need to get out of here, I need to think." Tenzin muttered as he brushed past her.
"Stay, I'll leave." Lin offered suspecting that Tenzin leaving would mean going to a bar.
"Why?" Tenzin said, spinning around on her. "Why don't you trust me? Not to go out, not to tell me that my dad was murdered."
"Tenzin…" He brushed past her. Part of her wanted to reach out to him but she knew he needed to deal with this on his own. Sure enough later that night he did come back. Lin didn't move when he came into the room and lay down on the far side of the bed. Lin breathed a sigh of relief that he was back and was calmer. She could tell just by the way he had walked into the room.
"I'm sorry." Lin told him the next morning. "You know I trust you right? I just don't want to hurt you especially if it wasn't true."
Tenzin came over to her and kissed her forehead. "I love you. I know I just was mad and it came out on you. I'm sorry."
- 16 years ago
Tenzin had meen more and more aware over the last year how he and Lin were slowly growing apart. They were in different places in their lives, Lin still was restless, she wanted to travel to crazy places. She had dragged Tenzin out of his comfort zone to Mexico and to Europe on vacation which he had surprisingly enjoyed. But he didn't have that hunger to see what else was out there that she did. He wanted to buy a house and start his career as a lawyer. He wanted to settle down, he had always been a homebody that hated to get out of his comfort zone. For a long time that aligned with what Lin wanted but now he was afraid that wasn't the case anymore and he couldn't figure out how to fix it. Everytime he tried it seemed to only work for a month or so before the same frustrations came back. It wasn't just him feeling the frustration though Lin was also feeling it, he could tell. But she just seemed to brush it off with a shrug and get on with life like it never happened. Tenzin wished he could do the same but he couldn't brush it off especially when it felt like it was happening more and more often.
Lin knew that Tenzin's law school graduation was coming up and with that came big changes. Within 3 month of that Lin's enlistment would also come up and she was dreading telling him her offer to sign another contract, this one only a year of active duty with three years in the reserves. She wanted to take it, with it came a slight shift in jobs to Virginia to work more hands on with intelligence. She knew Tenzin wouldn't like it, he had never been thrilled with her initial decision to join the military but had put his worries aside for her. This time his goals and her goals were on the other side of the country and maybe the world according to the CO she had talked to. She knew what Tenzin's dreams about in the future knew what they meant to him and still had doubts she'd ever want the two kids and white picket fence that Tenzin wanted. He wanted that perfect family that he hadn't had growing up. She had a feeling of dread about that and what it meant for them. Tenzin had gotten a letter in the mail a few days before with the congratulation he had gotten a clerkship with a prominent judge in California. The next day she had woken up and what had to happen, what would eventually happen to them just hit her and a train.
"Tenzin, I'm going to re-enlist." Lin told him two days later. She had felt physically sick over actually doing this for the last two days but there was also a sense of, peace was the wrong word but maybe acceptance that this was the right decision for both of them. She wanted Tenzin to take the Clerkship and she wasn't ready for his dream.
"What?" He asked surprised, both of them had avoided this conversation. "Are you sure Lin?" She could hear the disappointment in his tone and on his face.
"Yes, I want this." She said hestanting a moment before adding. "And I don't want to have a family."
"I don't care." Tenzin shook his head at her. They hadn't ever had this argument mostly because they both knew where the other stood and never had a reason to push on their disagreement until now.
"Yes you do." Lin told him she knew him as well as he did. She knew he wanted a family 'one day'.
"No I don't, I love you" Tenzin told her strongly. He did, she knew that and it was why he would even push his dreams off in the first place.
"You do care," Lin told him gently. He did want to be a father, he wanted to do all the things his dad hadn't been able to do with him with his own kids. Lin could see it in him and deep down he knew it too.
"No I love you," Tenzin said venmently. "Not pregnant, pregnant, now, ten years from now, I love you." He wanted to shake her to get that through her head. He loved her and that was it for him. The rest would work itself out, it must to him. "Lin, we never talked about it, I don't." He begged her to see that. A family wasn't worth losing this they
"But in the future you do, don't deny it I know you." Lin shot back, shaking her head at him. "You've wanted that forever, the perfect family with two kids. Ten one day you do and I don't."
Tenzin opened his mouth and then shut again trying to keep his composure. Lin took the opportunity to try a new tact. "Tenzin, you have an opportunity to clerk for one of the top judge on west coast you'd be stupid not to take it. And I'll be in Virginia. We can't do long distance." Lin told him
"What!? We did for eight fucking month when you were in Iraq." Tenzin spat at her, irritated.
"That's different." Lin snapped.
"How!?" Tenzin said, exasperated.
"We didn't have the baggage. We young and dumb." Lin crossed her arms at him.
"We can work through the baggage." Tenzin sighed leaning against the counter and dropping his head.
"No we cant." Lin said resigned. "We can't fix that. It's either one or the other and I'm not changing my mind and neither are you."
"How can you say that?!" Tenzin snapped at her again.
"How can you not! This will not work anymore. We should end it now before it gets worse. I don't want you to hate me or to hate you." Lin sighed.
"Lin, how can you say that? I love you and I know you love me." Tenzin wanted to shake her until she understood that.
"But that's not the problem and it wont fix the problem. Unless you change your principles as you say and priorities cause I'm not changing mine. We just don't line up anymore. That is not your fault but it's not mine either."
It was so painful, Tenzin was numb after Lin finally left. He had known they had their problems but they had in the past too. They had gotten past them, his dad's murder, her deployment. He had been so sure that they could and would have gotten through this too. Although he would admit this time their problems were bigger. He could see that their wants, their goals, their dreams had been slowly shifting away from each other and maybe one he would have been the one to pull the plug on their relationship because of that or maybe they would have made it through it. But nothing made the right now hurt any less.
**** so what happened with Aang and atla gaang could be its own whole story I was going to include in here but i didn't like what I had for their POV and lost all the motivation to write it.