Chapter Seven: Mama

A.N: There's a reference in here that those who have been following Xander's story will catch, and if you do you deserve a cookie. It's hidden in there so good luck finding it.

Nashua, New Hampshire – June 1986

Alex slowly opened his eyes, blinking away the sleep. The wall he was looking at was a deep shade of blue with a few flecks of white. Every morning he seemed to wake up staring at this particular patch, and it was starting to look like a jagged cloud. He stretched his arms out, giving Kiki a squeeze. He hadn't slept well since running away, but the last week had felt like he'd been sleeping on a cloud. His first night had been rough, but a cuddle from Baby and reassuring words from Emily had helped him. She'd told him that first-night syndrome was very common, and the second night wouldn't be as hard. Of course, she'd been right. He was sleeping peacefully, only waking a few times a night from nightmares.

Baby was once again at his feet, her head rested on his knees. He smiled and reached down to scratch her ears, smiling when the big, golden girl looked at him and yawned. She stood and jumped from the bed, shaking the sleep from her body. She stood at the partially closed door and waited for Alex to wake up properly. Soon, he was on his feet and following Baby down the hall and downstairs into the back room.

The back room was Emily's art room. Beside the staircase was a large shelf filled with painting supplies and rolls upon rolls of fabric. He could see the leftover flannelette she'd used to make the pajamas he was wearing. He looked down at his stomach, smiling at the colorful music notes. They were the comfiest pajamas he'd ever had, and he was so very warm. He was tempted to switch the top for a t-shirt over the summer period, but he didn't know if he had one. He had one or two changes of clothes, and he didn't know if he was allowed to wash them. He had been with John and Emily for a week now and he still wasn't sure if he was allowed to stay. Changing his clothes wasn't an option until he was sure.

One of Emily's new paintings was sitting on one of the two wooden easels near the window. It was a blue and yellow flower on a swirling green background. Parts of it were dry, but the wet parts were shining in the morning light. Her swirly signature was in the bottom right corner along with the year. It was a beautiful painting and he found himself staring at it.

He jumped when he heard a flushing sound and turned towards the bookcase that had been built into the wall. He knew it was a door to the bathroom, but it was hidden in such a way that was incredibly sneaky. The way to open it was very simple; the handle was hidden behind a stack of books lined up from smallest to largest. All someone had to do to reveal the handle was to push the smallest book into the book to its right and so on until an indent and the handle would be revealed. Alex had had trouble with it at first, but he was a master of it now.

The bookcase pulled away to reveal Emily stepping out of the bathroom, a pair of paintbrushes pushed into her hair. She was wearing a pale green t-shirt and overalls that were covered in splatters of paint. She'd obviously been working on a project. She smiled when she spotted him.

"Good morning, little bird!" She said, sweeping him up into a cuddle. She lifted him into the air and blew raspberries on his cheek. He laughed and hugged her back. She put him back on the ground and stroked his cheek. "What do you wanna do today?"

Alex hugged Kiki and shrugged. He still hadn't spoken, but he'd laughed at the stupid jokes John told and squeaked when Emily hugged him too tightly. Words were still a little too tough.

Emily smiled when he didn't immediately answer.

"I have a few ideas," she said, tucking a strand of his freshly cut hair behind his ears. He smiled and followed her into the living room where John was sitting in a wicker seat near the wall. On his lap was a pale green acoustic guitar with swirls of white and blue. Emily's curly signature was scrawled at the base of the fretboard.

Alex found himself staring as John plucked at the strings. Notes, both in and out of tune, wafted through the air and he stepped closer. John reached across and rested a hand on his head and grinned.

"Fan of music, huh?" he asked. Alex shook his head. He hadn't really listened to a lot of music, he'd been in his room most of the time. He'd heard muffled music coming from downstairs but he'd been too scared to go down.

John smirked and looked over at his wife who gave him a smile, arms crossed over his chest,

"And here I was wanting to turn him into an artist," she grinned. Alex looked up at her and smiled. She winked at him and reached into the key basket on the coffee table. "I'm stealing you for a shopping trip."

Alex smiled and ran to her side. John rolled his eyes and shook his head, a smile on his face.

"They haven't signed the paperwork yet."

"Yeah, well, I'm not giving him back. He's mine now." She winked and took Alex's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. He squeezed it back, throwing a look at John. The much older man continued to smile as he turned his attention back to his guitar.

As Emily led Alex out to the car, he thought of where she could be taking him. She had said a shopping trip, but what kind? Was she going to try and fatten him up so she could eat him, like the witch in the story she'd read him? Or was she just being kind? Even as they drove through the groves towards the city, he couldn't help but wonder if this entire situation was temporary or permanent. Emily spoke as if he was going to stay with them forever, but John seemed to think one hiccup would send Alex back to his parents. That was something he didn't want, so he'd been trying to be on his best behavior since he'd arrived. He didn't want to give either of them a reason to send him back. He knew if he spoke out, things could go south very quickly. He was terrified of returning there; the week he'd been staying with Emily and John had been like a dream. He didn't want it to end, and he'd do anything to stay.

~X~

The sun had set by the time Emily and Alex returned home. The back seat was filled with shopping bags from so many stores; small furniture, clothing, toys, books. Anything Emily had said he'd needed had been bought and put in the car. He was sitting in the front seat, nursing their dinner for the evening. He was holding a cardboard tray holding several buckets of Chinese food. It smelled delicious and was making his mouth water like crazy. He was holding the box so carefully that the dirt road leading to the house barely jostled the boxes.

They pulled into the driveway to see John on the porch with Baby and another man that Alex had been introduced to as Jack Davies. He was a social worker who worked in the foster care system. Alex wasn't quite sure what any of that meant, but he knew Jack was the person who was going to let him stay with Emily and John.

A warm feeling filled his chest as he walked up the porch, his arms still full. He gave a gentle smile when John called him over.

"Come here, little bird. We've got some news for you."

He smiled as John took the box from him and went to put it inside, leaving Alex alone with Jack.

Jack was a tall man, about the same height as John, with straight brown hair and warm honey-brown eyes. His clothes indicated he'd just gotten out of the office, his green tie hung around his neck, untied and limp. He was leaning against the porch railing, eyeing Alex. He was smiling, and the smile made the corners of his eyes crinkle.

"How's it going?"

Alex smiled and shrugged, stuffing his hands deep in the pockets of his new hoody. It was bright green with a fluffy ruffle around the hood.

Jack smirked and ruffled his hair.

"John said you were kinda quiet. So I'll ask some easy questions here, okay?"

Alex's brow furrowed but he nodded. Emily had told him Jack would want to speak to him about staying with them so he knew it was coming.

"Did you like where you were living?"

Alex shook his head. He'd hated it, and it wasn't until he'd left that he'd realized just how much. He'd felt like an object instead of a child. He'd been treated as if he was invisible. His siblings had always been given the spotlight, and he'd been in the shadows. The only one who had really paid any attention to him was Lynn, but even then she was super busy and only spent a little bit of time with him a night. Most days he was on his own.

Jack nodded and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Did you run away on purpose?"

Another nod.

"Do you feel safe here?"

Alex looked at his feet. He was still unsure, but the more time he spent with Emily and John, and even Baby, the more he wanted to stay. They were lovely, and Emily had promised to teach him to draw. It was something no one else had ever done before.

He looked up at Jack and nodded confidently. Yes, this is where he wanted to be. He would find out who he was if he stayed right here.

Jack smiled, just as John and Emily returned with a carton of food for them. Emily sat beside Alex on the swing and handed him a fork.

"Did you boys have a fun conversation?"

Alex smiled and nodded, leaning on her shoulder. John and Jack disappeared back inside. Their chatting disappeared as the door closed.

Emily reached around to hold Alex close to her, and that warm feeling enveloped him again. He knew it wasn't the food. He'd finally found a place where he didn't need to try and get someone's attention. He had Emily's complete attention, and John was always happy to see him.

That word was so unfamiliar. Happy. It felt heavy in his mouth. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been truly happy. Maybe his conversation with Lynn after he'd run away, or the day he'd gotten Kiki. He'd seen an advertisement on television for her when he was about six and she had been the only thing he'd wanted for Christmas that year. He'd told Lynn and she'd bought it for him with her job's first paycheck. He'd never asked for anything else.

He looked up at Emily and watched her. She was twisting noodles around her fork and gently humming to the tune of the crickets chirping. The setting sun made her skin glow and set behind her head giving her a halo. She looked just like an angel. To him, she was an angel; she'd saved him from living on the streets, and she and John had saved him from people who hated him. He would be forever grateful.

Alex put his food aside and crawled to his knees. Emily turned and smiled at him.

"What's up, bird?"

Alex leaned in and gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek, smiling at her.

"Mama."

Emily's eyes widened as he sat back down. He kept smiling as he curled up on the swing, his head resting on her lap. One of her hands came to rest on his shoulder, her other gently petting his head. He could feel himself relaxing, finally letting go of some of the pain he held so close to his heart. He was finally able to spread his little wings and try to fly, even if it meant he would fall. He could still try again and he somehow knew that Emily would be there to support him forever.

Emily was his Mama, and she always would be.