Hizashi couldn't bring himself to tell the older Uchiha that he knew the truth, he was ashamed of himself for having lost his cool and done something as weak as crying in front of the older Uchiha.
He was grateful for the silence as they waited to hear news, practically running to the room when he heard that his mother was in a more stable condition. His hand moved to hold on to the cold one, staring at the pale, sleeping man.
While Hizashi waited for his mother to wake up, Sasuke went to talk with Sakura, who looked concerned.
"What happened, Sakura?" Sasuke asked, forcing himself to sound calm even though his hands were shaking. He couldn't risk losing Neji again, they were so close to being the perfect family, so close to being together.
"We had to pump his stomach, give a blood transfusion and stitch him back up…Neji really was trying to kill himself, Sasuke. Did you have an argument with him?" It couldn't have been her fault, right?All she had wanted was for the children to find out the truth and for Neji to pay for what he had done…she didn't want him to die!
Sasuke could still hear Hizashi crying and feel the smaller male leaning against him, he didn't think that was an image that he'd forget anytime soon. "No…No, I thought we were doing quite well lately. He hadn't seemed depressed…I can't believe I missed the signs." Hadn't he learned anything from the accidents with Naruto?
"There was no way for you to know, Sasuke. For now, I want to keep him under suicidal observation, I think it would be best if Hizashi was kept away from this environment…and maybe see a therapist."Sakura hesitated for a moment before moving to hug her best friend, feeling him stiffen "You should stay away from Neji Hyuga…he will only keep hurting you and the children. I don't want to keep seeing you in pain, Sasuke."
The raven pulled away with a scowl, glaring at his best friend. He knew that she meant well but he didn't want to hear it. "I won't leave him, I won't lose him ever again so mind your damn business." He felt guilty when he saw the hurtful look the pinkette gave him "He's not the villain you keep trying to make him out to be, Sakura. Now more than ever he needs me…they need me."
"...You are such an idiot. Fine! Don't come running to me when he hurts you again…and he will keep hurting you, Sasuke. He will only bring pain to the children and you. He's too broken, why can't you see that?"Sakura tried to stop the tears that threatened to spill, she refuse to show them to Sasuke, he was being too stubborn for no good reason. Couldn't he see that she was trying to save them?
"...Someone like you who had both of your parents to cuddle you would never understand. Is Naruto too broken? Am I too broken? What about Fugaku?I'll warn you right now, Sakura…if you keep getting in my way, you can forget that we've been close friends all this time, you'll be dead to me." With those words coldly said, he walked out, planning on checking on Neji.
He went to Neji's room at the hospital, watching Hizashi with the older Hyuga. They looked almost like mirrors of each other, how would things have turned out if they had all been together? If he had been able to save Neji at that time?
===========\===========
His mother had stayed in the hospital for a few days, when the older Hyuga had opened his eyes, they had been filled with fear for a moment and then just turned cold.
"I am sorry, Mother. I didn't mean those words…I won't say anything so please forgive me." He had been selfish and acted like a spoiled brat who couldn't get his way, no wonder his mother had tried to replace him with the redhead, he kept pushing his mother too far.
His father had stayed by their side for a few days, using the excuse that Hizashi couldn't stay by himself and that he was worried about Hizashi's wellbeing.
The younger Hyuga wished that he could say that everything was magically fixed but things simply grew more tense with him.
His mother and him could not erase the words he had said that day, the ones that had pushed his mother to try and disappear. The house felt like it was suffocating him, especially when he saw how Aron and his mother got closer, sharing some sort of special bond that he had no way of gaining.
Hizashi could not bring himself to look at Fugaku…at his brother. What was he supposed to say? 'Hi, yes, it seems we are brothers, remember that time we kissed and I might have had feelings for you? Let's forget it, alright? Oh yes, our mother is a very depressed individual who for some reason decided you were better off with our dad, but hey, let's still be friends!' Yeah, that was not happening.
With vacation coming along, Hizashi tried to distance himself from his two best friends. Shin and Fugaku did not need someone as wicked as him, once graduation came in a year, he would disappear for good.
Ever since the suicide attempt, his mother and him hadn't really spoken, Hizashi was sure his mother hated him.
Sleep once more eluded him, every time he closed his eyes he would see his mother covered in blood, asking him why he did it…why he said such cruel words.
His brother kept trying to reach out to him but Hizashi tried his best to avoid the younger Uchiha, using the excuse of needing to babysit or study, he used the same excuse with Shin.
Of course, no one can outrun the blonde, it had all started off with Fugaku going on some business trip for school, leaving Shin and Hizashi alone.
"We need to have a sleepover, Zachi, we just gotta! Come on, don't be a cranky pants! I'll even make sure that Naru and dad behave, plleeeaassee? I'll be all alone without Gaku giving me his daily delicious lunches…and there's a new video game I really wanted to play with you, pretty please? I'll behave…I'll help you with the statistics class!" Shin was quite stubborn, asking Hizashi until his friend gave in and agreed to the sleepover.
The brunette gathered clothes for the night and his medication, he left a note for his mother stating not to wait for him since he would be staying at a friend's house.
Hizashi waited for Shin at the corner of his house, he had mixed feelings about the sleepover. On one hand, it would give him a chance to get away from the tense air and the guilt but on another hand it would lead to him depending on the blonde, even if it was for the night.
Shin picked him up blasting some rap music from his car. The blonde grinned "Yo! Ready to game till you drop?"
Hizachi entered the car, glancing at his best friend then away "Hn." Wasn't sure how good he'd be at the gaming part.
"Oi, don't give me that, Mr cranky pants! I got a whole saga ready to go. Prepare to have so much fun you'll be shitting rainbow!" The blonde laughed at his own joke, bobbing his head and singing along to the lyrics.
"You do know that it's not possible to shit rainbows, right?" Hizachi murmured, looking outside the window, feeling his body relaxing.
There was something about Shin that seemed to always clear the air around him and make the brunette feel better. He half listened to the blonde talk about the game and what he had planned out.
Would Shin hate him as well if he found out the truth? Why wouldn't he? He couldn't get the image out of his mother laying down, bleeding and cold.
"-Chi! Are you even listening to me?" Shin asked with a pout on his face. "We've made it."
Lavender eyes looked at the Victorian style house, he got out of the car, staying quiet.
The first thing he was hit with as soon as they made it inside was pictures of Shin with his fathers, there were also pictures of Fugaku and Shin growing up and of Shin though there were no baby pictures of the blonde.
"I am home~" Shin called out.
Naruto came out with a bright orange apron and a wooden spoon "Welcome home, ramen is almost ready!" Then he stopped, seeing Hizachi, his smile seemed to get brighter "Zachi! Welcome home. Our house is your house." Then he seemed to remember something "Make sure to wash your hands and is your room clean? Zachi-kun won't be interested if you've got a me-"
"Shuddup, Naru! Where is dad?" Shin was blushing brightly, starting to push Hizachi toward the stairs.
"He's in his studio working on a new piece." Naruto replied with a laugh.
The atmosphere in the house was completely different from his. Hizachi watched Naruto and Shin bicker for a few more minutes before he was dragged up the stairs and toward the last room.
Shin's room was painted black with orange, it had a few pictures, including one of Fugaku, Shin and him. The blonde had called out their name, both turning around with a confused look while Shin made a peace sign and grinned, taking the picture.
There was a king size bed with a large stuffed animal of a nine tail fox, a desk with a laptop and a bookshelf. There was also a large TV with some gaming consoles and two doors. One led to the balcony, the other to the bathroom.
Hizachi looked around the room, catching some paintings and drawing as well and even some drums, the bedroom was bigger than his mother's and much larger then his own.
"Ready to get your ass kicked, Zachi?" Shin asked, smugly. "Feel free to put your bags wherever you want!"
Hizachi set his bags down by the door along with his jacket. He went to sit down next to the blonde, grabbing the Xbox controller and staring at the driving game.
He glanced at his best friend again, at the bright smile and the way the blonde kept fidgeting because he couldn't stay still.
Shin was probably what the sun would look like if it ever took a human form, he wondered how his friend could always be so happy. Was it because his parents were together and happy?
He half listened to Shin talk about the game and what was added in, his body felt heavy with exhaustion, when was the last time he had even gotten a good night's sleep?
It took him a few tries to catch on to the game, having to pick his car, the design for it and then wait to see what terrain they would drop off in.
While they played, Naruto came inside with a tray of cookies and a glass of milk for both of them. "One of my clients made these, lemme know if it's good." The blonde brightly said, Cerulean eyes staring at the younger Hyuga, his face softening "You have as much as you want, alright? And if Shin bugs ya too much feel free to slug him…or kiss him~"
Shin felt his cheeks turn bright red, glaring at his adoptive father "Shut up, Naru! Don't ya have to go bug dad or somethin'? Not all of us are massive perverts like ya." He stuck his tongue out at his adoptive father, the older blonde doing the same.
"I am not a pervert, just popular with the ladies and gents, at your age I already had a massive fan club, I'll have ya know. Of course, your dad already had my heart by then." He thought about his past, about the twins' birth "Well your dad and Gaku, he was the fattest baby I've ever seen. You were really cute too, clinging on to me and calling me Papa."
Shin was a bit sensitive about the whole baby thing, he didn't really have a lot of memories of his childhood…at least not very pleasant ones until Naruto saved him. "I didn't cling to you…it was the other way around." He grumbled "Now shoo, we are trying to play a game, no old geezers are allowed!"
"Hey, I am only in my 30s!" Naruto whined "I don't look like some old geezer, right Zachi?" He flashed his famous Naruto smile, dimples and all.
Hizachi stared between Shin and Naruto, if it hadn't been because he was told that Shin was adopted, he would have thought that they really were father and son or at least related. "...You look like the sun."He murmured before he could stop himself "...Both of you are bright like the sun."
Naruto and Shin stared in surprise, the younger blonde blushing brightly at the compliment while Naruto blinked in surprise then laughed, moving closer to ruffle the brunette's head "At least we know you didn't get his personality." The older male said with a chuckle before catching himself "Errr…Shin's personality…since you uhh hang around my son so much. Oooh wow, what's that? I think Sai is calling me, gottagonowbye!" Then he all but ran off, leaving the cookies and milk on the desk.
Hizashi stared at the closed door in confusion, whose personality didn't he get? His mother or father? Did Naruto know? Well..how couldn't he? Wait, did his father know?
No…of course not, right? He wasn't like his mother at all, if it wasn't because they looked so similar to each other, he would have wondered if maybe he was adopted.
"Don't listen to Naruto, he's an idiot. Honestly, I don't know how dad puts up with him…or how he's the head of detectives at his office."Shin grumbled. "Make sure to eat some cookies, he might be annoying but his fans make the best of cookies and food!"
Hizashi turned to stare at Shin quietly, he parted his lips to say something but shook his head, getting up to go and get the cookies, then moved to set it between them.
"What is it?" Shin asked, tilting his head slightly.
"Forget it." The brunette murmured.
After a few hours of gaming they were called downstairs for dinner, it was rather interesting and loud.
The blondes bickered with each other while the raven hair man listened quietly and would glance at Hizashi "Naruto said that you are dating Shin…so have you two have sex already? I always thought he would date Fugaku…even if he is too gloomy like his father."
"Daaaddd! For fuck sake, we are not dating, we are just friends!If you two keep acting up, I am gonna leave to Gaku's place and I won't come back for a month!" Shin threatened, cheeks bright red "Zachi, don't listen to their perverted talk, they are both just trying to mess with ya. They do the same shit with Gaku when he comes over, kay?"
"What would make you both believe that we are in a relationship?" Hizachi calmly asked. To be honest, he always wondered if Fugaku and Shin were secretly dating, they were always together.
"Shin mastu-" Naruto covered his husband's mouth, glaring at him "Shhhh, we promised Shin we weren't gonna talk about that, its good blackmail material, remember?" He hissed.
Sai blinked then gave a single nod.
"Ugh, hurry up and have another kid you two can embarrass! I am moving to uncle Sasuke's house! At least he can cook!" Shin whined, glaring at his parents.
"Heeeyyy, I can cook!" Naruto shot back with a pout "You liked the ramen, right Zachi-kun? My ramen is freaking amazing, right?"
Hizachi had no idea what was going on anymore so he just nodded. Dinner at his house was never this lively, usually they would eat in silence with his mother perhaps asking about their day before going quiet again, Aron has gotten good at filling the silence between them with stories about his day.
"Ramen is all you can cook and dad has the ability to even burn water. Honestly, if it wasn't because of uncle Sasuke and aunt Sakura I would have probably died from ramen overdose!" Shin said.
"Nonsense, you can never have too much ramen, I surely didn't." Naruto proudly said, then moved to kiss Sai's cheek "You are not tired of my precious ramen, are you Sai?"
"...I suppose your ramen is alright for someone with such a small di-"Sai's mouth was covered again, the older blonde glaring at his husband.
"Damn it, Sai! We had a talk about this already! Stop mentioning my dick and just so you know, its not small at all!" Even after all these years together, they fought about the same thing.
Shin covered his face, groaning out "Every…freaking…night. I give up. Its obvious I am adopted." He threw his hands up "Come on Zachi, I don't need you losing your mind as well."
"If you are gonna get laid make sure to use the condoms and clean up after yourself!" Naruto brightly called out."
"50$ says that Shin is the top." Sai murmured.
"I say Zachi-kun is." Naruto shot back with a grin as the boys walked away.
After the rather lively dinner where Shin kept apologizing to him, they went back to the younger blonde's room. They did some studying together, Hizachi struggling with the numbers and understanding the formula clearly.
"Theoretical theories is number of desired outcomes divided by the number of all possible outcomes. For example, what is the theoretical probability of rolling a 3 using the table given to us?" Shin explained, shoulder leaning against his best friend while he neatly wrote down the problem and showed the table.
The brunette frowned, biting his bottom lip in thought and sucking on it. All of that looked like gibberish to him. The blonde might act like an idiot but he was surprisingly smart, being the top in the school.
"...22?" Hizashi softly asked, already feeling a headache coming, he needed to memorize this before the start of the new semester.
"That's actually quite a common mistake but look here, there are 6 numbers in total and only one option gives us 3 which means that we need to divide 1 by 6, when we do that the answer will be 0.166666 so on but it's good to turn it into a percentage, the answer would be 17%." Shin explained, writing down what he was saying, making it seem rather easy.
Hizashi just stared, brows furrowed, he pinched his nose and sighed "You make it sound so easy but it just looks like gibberish to me." He grumbled.
"Mmm, numbers never lie…people do but numbers and math won't, once you understand that, math becomes rather beautiful. While people might hurt your feelings, numbers won't." It was why Shin loved math so much, just like how he loved sports and music.
"Has someone ever lied to you, Shin?" Hizashi softly asked, looking at his best friend, at those dark blue eyes.
The looked down "Loads do…but you won't, right, Zachi? I can always trust Gaku and you."
Hizachi flinched at those words, looking down as well "...But what if you can't trust me? What if…what if I did something really bad and hurt someone?" He quietly asked.
Shin frowned, staring at the brunette "You would never hurt anyone willingly, I know you, Zachi…I know that you aren't a bad person! Is that what's been bothering you? Is that why you've been trying to distance yourself from Gaku and I?"
Hizachi remained quiet, staring down at his hand, thinking of his mother…of his sins. "...What would you know about me? You don't even have that long knowing me." He mumbled.
"I don't gotta know you for super long to know that you aren't bad! I've met really bad people, I've known people who would laugh while hurting a child and killing someone, you aren't like them and if someone told you otherwise, I'll beat em up for ya, okay?!" Shin snapped, moving closer to his best friend, slamming both hands on either side of the brunette.
Hurt a child? Hizachi bit his bottom lip "Is that…what happened to you? Did someone hurt you like that?" He softly asked.
Shin's eyes widened, and with a sigh, he pulled away "It doesn't matter…that was a long time ago." Naruto had saved him from that dark place and given him a chance to live like a respectable person from society, not the scum he had grown up with.
"You…haven't smiled for a while now, Hizachi. Its not like Gaku and you go around smiling brightly but at least before I could get you to smile a little…these days you just look like you are not really here, like you are somewhere far away and I am scared that at this rate I really will lose you." Dark blue eyes stared at the lavender ones, a hand moving forward to cup the pale male's cheek "Are we not enough, Hizachi? Am…I not enough?"
Hizachi glanced down at his best friend's lips then back to those dark blue eyes. This…he wasn't ready for this. "I do not know what youre talking about. If you'll excuse me, I need to take a shower." He knew that he was running but he didn't like seeing Shin looking so serious. How was he supposed to answer that anyways?
It wasn't a matter of being enough, there was some things that the blonde would be unable to understand or would be able to forgive. With how nice Shin was, the blonde would probably grow disgusted with him if he found out that it was Hizashi's fault that his mother had hurt himself, that the brunette had such wicked thoughts about the redheaded child and worst of all that he, at one point, had feelings for his own flesh and blood.
He all but ran to the bathroom, turning on the warm water and getting inside, eyes closing.
Everything was falling apart, he couldn't blame his mother for despising him, for being fed up with someone like him.
Why had his mother taken him and left Fugaku with their father? Why did his mother keep it all a secret? Did his father know the truth?
He looked at the shampoo that the blonde used, it was citrus scent with a drawing of oranges that had smiley faces on it. Hizachi squirted some into his palm then began to wash his hair, letting out a soft sigh.
Tomorrow he would have to go back home, go back to his cage. He needed to plan carefully the next year, no one would rent a place to a 17 year old and jobs were hard to come by.
His best hope was graduation, he could start anew and disappear, he could free his mother and his friends.
He washed away the shampoo, then applied some more, it really smelled like the blonde, like a warmness that would wrap around him and keep him safe. It reminded him of curling up against his aunt while she ran her fingers through his hair and gently hummed a lullaby.
The thoughts began to shift path, he recalled those dark blue eyes staring at him, the way the tan face would soften as the idiot smiled brightly and how warm his name sounded coming from those lips.
These thoughts were different from the ones he had when it came to Fugaku, it went farther than simply holding hands. The brunette's body felt warm, he wasn't sure if it was the water or something else, hand moving experimentally to go lower, palming himself.
It felt weird, like a shock being sent through his body. He palmed a bit rougher, taking in the citrusy scent, hips arching forward. He could almost feel Shin wrapping his arms around him, chuckling.
A moan escaped his lips, surprising Hizachi, moving to bite down on his bottom lip, there was no way he could have those types of feelings for the blonde! How could he even think about that at a time like this?
Before he could process what was going on, the door was being opened and the shower curtain pulled back "What's wrong, Zachi?! Where are you hu-" The blonde froze, eyes glancing up and down the naked body, then quickly back up to the feminine face, hand quickly moving to cover his eyes "I-I-I didn't see nothin!"
"B-Baka!" Hizachi quickly moved to cover himself, cheeks bright red, feeling embarrassed.
"A weird sound came out, I thought you got hurt!" Shin defended himself.
"Get out, Baka!" Hizachi ordered, face bright red.
"I-um-I-Yeah." The blonde nodded, turning around, trying not to stare at the feminine body. He bumped into a few things but managed to get out, eyes still covered "Sorry!"
Hizachi covered his face and groaned out, this was so freaking embarrassing! He finished washing his hair then moved to get out, feeling lightheaded.
The heat was getting to him. He felt the room spin, holding on to the curtain, it took a few seconds before he could walk, realizing he didn't have a towel.
With a bright blush, he poked his head out of the bathroom "...Shin, mind getting me a towel and my change of clothes? Its in my bag. Thank you."
The blonde blushed as well, but nodded "Uhh…yeah, sure, course! I didn't see nothin, alright?" Shin was quick to get the change of clothes and soft towel, passing it to the paler male.
"...Just forget about it. Thanks." With a single nod, he grabbed his stuff and closed the door, drying his hair, then his body and putting on his clothes. Hizachi wrapped the towel around his hair, then got out, practically tasting the exhaustion but didn't want to sleep.
"I…umm…I'll go and shower. Feel free to sleep on either side of the bed." Shin mumbled, unable to look at the brunette, practically running to the bathroom.
Hizachi sighed, he heard a ping from his phone and went to check it, wondering if it was his mother but it was his brother checking up on him.
"I heard that you are sleeping over at Shin's place. He snores." Fugaku texted him.
Hizachi found himself smiling until he caught himself, feeling guilty all over again "Okay." He texted back, then set his phone back down.
"Hizachi, we must speak when I get back, it's important." Fugaku texted.
The brunette frowned, getting a bad feeling about it "Fine." Was all he replied before setting his phone down and closing his eyes.
He must have dozed off for a moment because when he opened his eyes, it was to stare at dark blue eyes, the blonde was close enough that Hizachi could see the pale blonde lashes framing those pretty eyes.
They were both quiet for a moment, Shin's eyes widening slightly, the blonde seemed to hesitate for a moment "...I really like you, Hizachi…and I hate seeing you like this…seeing you drown in your own loneliness. You should depend on me a bit more, can't you see how much I care about you?" He softly asked before closing the distance between them and pressing their lips against each other.
The kiss was completely different from the one with Fugaku. While with his brother all he had felt was soft lips and awkwardness, with Shin he felt a wave of electricity throughout his body. He hesitated for a moment before kissing back, fingers moving to wrap around the blonde locks.
Hizachi wasn't sure how long the kiss lasted, pressing closer to the warmer body, he wanted more…he wanted every bit of Shin.
I wish you weren't my mother!
The memories hit him like a shot from a bullet, pulling away with a gasp, eyes widening.
What was he doing? What was he doing with Shin?
"...Zachi?" Shin softly asked, looking dazed and happy "Does that mean…that we?"
Hizachi felt his whole body shaking, remembering his mother…remembering the blood. For a moment the image turned to Shin bleeding instead. Those that got close to him, got hurt.
He wouldn't let Fugaku and Shin get hurt because of him. "This…was a mistake...I am sorry…I am sorry Shin…I..we…I am sorry." He pushed the blonde away, covering his lips then quickly got up.
"Hizachi, wait!" Shin called out, voice quivering "Don't go…it's late. I am sorry, it was uhh…it was a bad joke, so don't go, please?"
"I just remembered that I need to babysit the kid…I should go…I need to go." Hizachi softly said, voice quivering slightly.
"Don't run away…I won't do it ever again so stay, please? Hizachi, don't go…don't leave me." Shin begged.
Shin and him kissed.
Shin confessed his feelings for him.
Shin and him kissed.
They fucking kissed and now everything was ruined. Fugaku would be even more pissed about that. Even if his brother wasn't, they would both hate him once they find out that he almost killed his mother, that he was a wicked person.
"I'll go sleep in the guestroom, Naru can drop you off tomorrow…so please, stay the night." Shin begged, when he got a small nod, the blonde let out a sigh of relief and nodded as well, grabbing his large plushie and moving to leave his room.
"...I really am sorry I kissed you, Hizachi…I read the signs wrong. You don't gotta like me back so let's stay friends…I don't want to lose you as well." Shin softly said.
Hizachi remained quiet, seeing the blonde give him a sad smile before leaving.
Everything was falling apart.
He kept hurting everyone around him.
He kept ruining things.
Hizachi stayed in the room for an hour or two more but couldn't sleep. He grabbed his stuff and quietly left the house, looking back at it one last time before disappearing, leaving Shin and their friendship behind as well.
A.N: Hey guys, so its been a while but as promised this story will never be dropped. Someone was kind enough to leave a review yesterday [or the day before] basically telling me to update and I realized with horror that I hadn't updated in a while...oops.
Thanks to everyone that still following and who have left reviews throughout the years. I can't believe I've been writing this story since I was in my teens, lol. How time flies.
Gonna go write the next chapter now, see ya next time, hopefully tomorrow.