A.N:1/ Hey guys, quick chapter warning there will be self blaming, hint of past child abuse, nothing too graphic. Mention of victim blaming, mention of suicide attempt in the past though nothing graphic and there's a BJ scene. I think that's all the warnings.

Happy Reading.

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Dark eyes stared at pale ones, there was a hint of frustration behind them.

"You can stay quiet but I'll have my answer, Neji. This can affect your adoption of Aron. Now will you tell me why you did it or will I have to forcefully get the answer?" The raven sighed out, moving to take a sip of his tea.

The brunette scowled, wondering why Sasuke was so freaking stubborn. He sighed softly, absentmindedly touching one of his bandaged wrists "...You are playing dirty, Uchiha."

"That's not the answer I want and you know it, Hyuga. You tried to kill yourself a week ago, the least you can do is tell me why. If the court finds out about this they could decide that you aren't stable enough to raise Aron and choose to remove him from your care, is that what you want? We need to be ready to show that you are sound of mind and won't disappear when things get too rough." It had been a difficult task to even drag Neji to their little meeting place.

The brunette flinched at the mention of his suicide attempt, he looked down at his cup filled with green tea, going quiet for a moment. "Will this be on record?" He softly asked.

"...Not if you don't want it to be." Sasuke replied "Did I push you too hard? I thought that we were doing better…that maybe we could…that you and I could…"

Neji glanced at Sasuke, he really was handsome. While the raven had been good looking during their teenage years in a gloomy and dark sort of way, now that he was older he was handsome in a quiet and dignified way that drew Neji in, even though he knew it was a mistake.

He touched his wrist once more, thinking about that day, about those words. He hasn't been able to look at Hizachi without the guilt hitting him all over again.

The dreams were back of his uncle, of how he seduced his uncle, because wasn't that what he had done? Neji had thought that those feelings had been locked away years ago after his uncle got locked away, but it was coming right back.

"...It wasn't anything you did, don't flatter yourself, Uchiha." He forced himself to sound calm, glancing at Sasuke once more, then remembered his son's and uncle's words.

He was always playing the victim…being selfish. The most selfless thing he's ever done in his life was free Sasuke from him.

"Then what is it? What pushed you so hard that you relapsed?" Sasuke asked, forcing himself to sound calm though a hint of frustration escaped his lips.

After staying quiet for a moment or two, Neji made up his mind on how to answer. "Hizachi…he and I had a disagreement. We have been under a lot of stress ever since the move…and he hasn't fully adapted to having Aron in our home. He did not feel comfortable staying in our home and chose to run away in a fit of anger. I…It brought unpleasant memories of the past and before I knew it I was thinking about how much better the world would be without me. It was a moment of weakness and it will not happen again." It wasn't a full lie, Sasuke didn't need to know that Hizachi knew the truth, not yet at least.

Sasuke didn't need to know that the real reason he had tried to end it all was because Hizachi had pretty much told him to disappear and that he was a selfish, manipulative person. His son wasn't wrong…maybe his uncle had been right all along, maybe he was the one who had seduced the older male and then he had seduced Sasuke. Wasn't that what he was good for?

His breathing began to grow more labored, he did not blame his son for what happened, how could he? This was all his doing. Perhaps it would be best to send Hizachi to Hinata's home and Aron as well, the house was certainly big enough and now she had Kiba. Hizachi has always been particularly attached to Hinata, wouldn't they all be happier so long as he was out of the picture?

Sasuke listened quietly, observing the brunette, Neji was lying about something, he just wasn't sure what. When he saw the quiet panic slowly start to take over the brunette, he moved to touch Neji's cheeks, cupping them gently.

"Neji…focus. You are here with me right now…you are not back in that place. You are safe here, I won't ever let someone hurt you, not your uncle or anyone else. Focus on my voice." Sasuke let his voice soften, trying to come out more soothing. He could feel the brunette shaking, eyes filled with terror.

Neji kept shaking, through the fog and the thoughts about how he should disappear, he heard the familiar deep voice of Sasuke…of his savior.

His eyes closed for a moment, holding on to the warmer hands, remembering how Sasuke used to hold him whenever he had nightmares. He could feel Sasuke's warm breath against his lips, their forehead pressing against each other.

After a minute or two he calmed down, eyes opening to stare at the onyx ones that were filled with worry. "Why? Why…must you keep me caged like this, Sasuke? Just let me go…just let me disappear."He whispered, voice filled with pain.

"I will never let you go, Neji. Every inch of you belongs to me. We will be together once more and we will have our happy family. No matter what you do, I will not let go of you." Sasuke promised, pressing their lips against each other.

In a moment of weakness, Neji kissed back, he felt the familiar warmth spread throughout his body, holding on tighter to the warmer hands, deepening their kiss.

Sasuke savored the kiss for as long as he could. How long has it been since they've held each other like this? Neji was still in love with him, he knew it.

They pulled away, both panting softly, dark eyes staring at pale ones. Sasuke smirked, then kissed Neji again, wrapping his fingers around the brown locks "You still want me, just like when we were younger…you can't escape these feelings, Neji."

The brunette couldn't deny it, the attraction between them has never been the problem, even now his body craved the raven and what would be so wrong about it?

It was so tempting to give in, but he pulled away, unable to look at the raven "Don't ever do that again, Uchiha." With those breathless words spoken, he all but ran off.

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Things at home were awkward, Neji was unsure of how to talk to his son about what happened. Every time he saw Hizachi, he was reminded of his sins…he could see that look of hatred and anger that his son had given him.

Words have always been difficult for the older Hyuga, especially when it came to his son. What if Hizachi kept poking around and found out the real truth? Would the younger Hyuga blame him? Would he be disgusted and hate him or worse…no.

He would not allow Hizachi to find out the truth behind his birth, he did not want his son to carry around all that self loathing, wasn't he a prime example of what that led to?

At night, Aron would go to his bedroom and curl up against him, running his small fingers through Neji's long hair. There was a special bond between them, one that came from shared suffering and shared doubts about who they were.

"Papa used to tell me that I was a bad boy, he would tell me that if I had been a good boy none of it would have happened…and that I made him do it…that I made him hurt mommy and me." Aron softly said "But you are not like him…Duckie isn't like him or mommy either! Both of you are very nice and warm. Were you told you were a bad boy, Ji? Is that why you got a boo boo on your wrist?"

Neji held on to the redheaded child, listening quietly. "You were never a bad boy, Aron. I…was reminded that I am not a good person…that I might turn into your Papa and I…I…I wanted to sleep."

"Turn into my Papa? You've never punished me even when I am bad! You don't even let me play the adult game with you!" Aron pouted, cheeks puffing up, his small hands moving to cup the pale cheeks "You are not a meanie so don't say you are, got it?"

Neji smiled slightly, he bent down, kissing the top of the child's head "Got it." He murmured "Now go to sleep."

He wished that he could say that things at home got magically better but it didn't, even he could feel the tense air between his son and him.

He was unsure of how to breach the subject with the younger Hyuga or how to even talk about Fugaku and Sasuke.

How could he explain to his son that the reason he left Fugaku and Sasuke was because of his sins? He hadn't wanted to bring Sasuke down, a part of him had even thought of permanently disappearing with Hizachi but he couldn't follow through.

Hizachi and him, they were more alike than either of them realize.

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After their rather passionate kiss, Neji had tried his best to keep their meeting as professional as possible.

It probably helped that his mind was filled with thoughts of their younger son and what he knew was coming. He kept telling himself that once they graduated, he would tell Fugaku the truth.

Most of his talk with Sasuke tended to be about Aron, how the child was doing and adjusting. Whenever the topic came of their sons, Neji would stiffen and try to switch the subject.

"You won't be able to hide the truth forever, Neji! Why are you being so stubborn about this?" Sasuke ran a hand through his hair, letting out a sigh of frustration.

"Stop trying to act like he's your son, Uchiha! He's mine and mine alone! I gave you your precious child, didn't I? Why must you insist on trying to bring back something that never existed? We will never be the happy family you've tried to fool yourself into!" Neji coldly said.

The raven stiffened, feeling his temper try to come out, he slammed his hands down on the table, glaring at the infuriating male "Don't you ever say that Hizachi isn't my child or that Fugaku is only mine. They are both our children, I don't care about what that stupid paternity test says, with Aron, you should understand. They both deserve to know about each other, Fugaku has the right to know who his mother is and to know that he wasn't abandoned because he was unwanted. I understand you have your demons Neji…Kami-sama knows that I understand but this isn't affecting only us two anymore. What will you do if one of the twins finds out the truth behind their birth? Or that they are related to each other?"

The brunette flinched at the mention of their sons finding out the truth behind their birth. He glared down at the table, body shaking though he was unsure if it was fear or anger. "You don't understand, Uchiha. You weren't the one who seduced your uncle…or the one who has the permanent reminder of that."

"You didn't seduce your uncle, that bastard took advantage of you, Neji…don't you ever forget that! You were the victim or would you tell Aron that he seduced his parents? Is that how you would talk to him? We were lucky enough to get to him because of your experience…because you noticed him and noticed the signs. Just as how he didn't seduce his parents, you did not seduce your uncle and neither of you are to blame for what happened, the adults were in the wrong in both scenarios." Sasuke tried to remain logical and calm, he tried to show Neji that he was wrong and was being stubborn for all the wrong reasons.

The brunette bit his bottom lip, of course he wouldn't blame Aron for what happened nor would he ever tell the redhead that he seduced his parents but it wasn't the same thing! "You are being unfair, Sasuke…of course I would not tell Aron that he's to blame for what happened to him...and you know I wouldn't."

"Then why are you treating yourself in such a way?" Sasuke asked, he noticed that they kept being stared at and sighed, looking down at his watch "While I don't mind the looks we are getting, perhaps it would be best to go somewhere more private. My office isn't too far from here, why don't we go there? We'll have all the privacy we need at this time."

Neji hesitated, he looked around the cafe where they usually had their meeting then sighed. He didn't want to risk Hizachi meeting up with Sasuke for now…and he didn't want to see Fugaku again, his lips parted to object.

"Fugaku is occupied with Naruto's son and will be sleeping over at Naruto's tonight. I'd offer for you to just come home with me but I already know the answer to that." He smirked, glancing down at the brunette's lips.

Neji felt his cheeks reddening, clearing his throat "I am going home, you are clearly not going to speak about professional things. Perhaps you have spent too much time with Naruto after all."

Sasuke moved to cup Neji cheeks, leaning closer "How much longer will you keep resisting this, Neji? You clearly want me as much as I want you." He murmured, moving to kiss the brunette's lips.

Neji stiffened, feeling those familiar lips against his own, he slowly kissed back, eyes closing, for a moment allowing himself to enjoy it then he saw his uncle's sneering face and quickly pulled away "If we have nothing else to discuss, I am going home, I have lesson plans to prepare."

"There is much more we need to discuss, it pertains to the children and also the accident."Sasuke said, in a more serious voice.

The smaller male hesitated but sighed "...Fine.."

The drive to the office was mostly quiet with Neji glaring at Sasuke and the raven smirking, looking quite smug over the small victory.

His secretary was gone for the night, the office was deserted, with the raven leading the brunette inside, using his personal key to open the door. They went up the elevators, Sasuke nodding to the security guard.

Once at Sasuke's office, the raven moved toward his desk, there was a picture of a younger Fugaku smiling slightly at the camera, eyes covered as always, then there was what looked to be a family photo of Sasuke with Fugaku, Naruto, Shin, Sai and Sakura and finally one of Sasuke carrying a younger Fugaku, both of them staring seriously at something, it looked as if they were in the zoo.

Neji looked at the pictures, he felt an ache in his chest but reminded himself that he did the right thing, Fugaku was clearly happy.

"Please, sit down." Sasuke said, then smiled slightly, taking the picture of Fugaku smiling slightly at the camera "We created him, Neji…our love for each other created Fugaku…and it created Hizashi, isn't that amazing?"

Neji kept staring at the picture, just as Hizachi got his looks, it was obvious that Fugaku got Sasuke's looks, it was like staring at a teenage Sasuke though slightly slimmer. "We did not create Hizachi, do not try to act like we could have been some happy family. There was no possible way that we could have all been happy together, not when there would always be a risk of Hizachi finding out the truth…of the twins discovering the truth behind their birth. You would have looked at Hizachi and been constantly reminded of our past and you would have gotten tired of us…of someone broken like me."

"So you chose to take Hizachi in the middle of the night and just leave me a letter? What gave you the right to make that choice for me? To make that choice for our children? Don't give me that bullshit of saving Fugaku and me, you were scared…you were scared of finally being happy and used Hizachi's birth as an excuse."Sasuke tried not to raise his voice "Do you know what it feels like having a child ask about his mother every day? Blame himself for his mother not being there? You keep making excuses, Neji…but now you need to think of our children, of setting them both free from whatever guilt it is they are carrying.

Did you know that they were developing feelings for each other? Your actions have consequences, by the blessing of Kami those two decided that they just wanted to be friends but what if they had fallen in love with each other? Or worse…what if they had sex? Do you truly think they'd forgiven themselves or each other if that had occurred?"

Neji felt like a child being scolded. He did not know that Fugaku and Hizachi had been developing feelings for each other but could he be surprised? "I know I was in the wrong…and I know I had no right to disappear in the way that I did but I would change nothing except coming here. Your life has been better due to my choice that night, Sasuke and don't you try to say otherwise. Fugaku has been able to be happy and worry free, he didn't have to worry about having a depressive mother, you didn't have to deal with the stress of doing or saying the wrong thing that would set me off. Hizachi and I sacrificed ourselves so that the two of you could be happy. I've sinned greatly against Hizachi but because of that Fugaku has lived a good life."

"...A good life?" Sasuke asked surprised then shook his head "You think he lived a good life? You should know better than anyone what it's like for a child to have only one parent…or none. For the longest time he blamed himself for your disappearance, even now he carries a burden in his heart from you not being there. I felt like I was only half alive once you disappeared. You took away my right to be with you, to choose if this relationship would work or not. You were the one who took away our opportunity of being a happy family only because you were scared of how we would all be viewed." Sasuke ran a hand through his hair and sighed, scowling. "I won't let you escape again." He moved forward, wrapping his fingers around the dark strands and pulling Neji forward into a kiss.

The brunette knew he shouldn't be surprised by the passionate kiss he received but it didn't stop a surprised sound from escaping, he felt his hips bump into the desk and groaned out, struggling for a moment before stopping, biting down on Sasuke's bottom lip rather hard.

The raven pulled away with a curse, wiping his lips "You want this as much as I do, Neji…why do you keep fighting it?"

"You are wrong, Uchiha. I don't want this…whatever this is." He growled out.

They glared at each other for a moment before the raven sighed and moved to get closer, sitting right in front of the brunette "On to a more serious talk and why I really wanted you to come here." He said seriously "After your…relapse, Sakura believes that it would be best if you went into therapy and that perhaps Hizachi is not safe in such a…fragile…environment. She is concerned that he may start to have episodes of depression like you…and that he might try to harm himself. I told her it's none of her concern and that if she tries to report you that I will end our friendship but the truth is that anyone that finds out about your suicide attempt can bring forth the same point. They may use it to show that you are not stable enough to raise any child. I think it would be for the best if Hizachi started attending therapy as well, he went through a traumatic experience and needs someone he can talk about it without feeling judged. You are also expected to go to therapy."

Neji could feel his blood boiling "If she gets between my son and I…Haruno Sakura will feel my wrath. I have raised Hizachi for 17 years, who is she to get between us? I know my son better than anyone. Hizachi is not depressed, he doesn't need therapy." His son was not broken like him.

Sasuke could understand Neji's anger, he would have reacted the same way if Fugaku had been involved and someone tried to put their input but there was one thing he would disagree on. "Hizashi found you after you tried to commit suicide, I would say that's a traumatic experience, he does need therapy, Neji. He needs to come to term with what he saw and understand he is not to blame for what happened. Can you be 100% sure he doesn't blame himself for finding you in such a position? He cried on my shoulder while Sakura operated on you…his face…it wasn't someone that was handling the situation well."

The brunette went quiet, he ran a hand through his face and sighed "...I will contact a therapist." He finally gave in.

"Thank you."Sasuke looked at the beautiful male. Even after all this time, there was something about Neji that drew him in. He couldn't help himself, moving forward, cupping the smaller male's cheeks "...How long will you fight me for, Neji? I can see that you want me as well. You can't use the excuse that my future will be ruined or that we are not ready, both of us are adults now. Hizachi and Fugaku are no longer small children either, what will be your next excuse?" He leaned closer, letting their lips brush against each other "Your body craves mine, can you truly deny that?"

The brunette leaned into the touch, eyes half lid, he'd be lying if he didn't say that he hadn't missed Sasuke touches or their bickering "You are so…irritating." He pressed their lips against each other, giving in for a moment.

"And you are too stubborn." Sasuke murmured, smirking.

"This means nothing…got it?" He just needed his mind to go quiet for a while, Sasuke was just a temporary distraction, they wouldn't get back together. It was a one time deal.

"Can you truly be sure that you won't crave more?" Sasuke hummed out, moving to kiss down Neji's neck, hearing the brunette gasp out.

"I won't…just shut up and fuck me." After they had sex, they could just go their seperate ways once more.

"I won't fuck you, by now you should know that you are not some cheap whore I want to take…you are someone special to me, Neji. You are the other half of my heart." The raven rested their forehead against each other then sighed softly and moved to pull away, kissing Neji's forehead "I can wait until you are truly ready to sleep with me. I'll drive you back home."

Wait, Sasuke wasn't going to continue? Neji scowled, growing frustrated, leaning forward and kissing Sasuke, both hands resting on either side of the taller male's waist. "You are wimping out now? What, the great Uchiha can't get it up anymore?" Neji taunted, moving a hand to rub the raven's crotch through his cloth "The Sasuke I knew would have bent me over this desk and left me limping afterwards, or are you too scared, now?"

Kami, he knew it was a mistake but Sasuke couldn't find it in himself to push the brunette away once more.

He wrapped his fingers around the long locks, giving it a firm tug, biting down on the smaller male's neck before moving to undress him.

Neji groaned out, hips arching forward, he moved to unzip Sasuke's pants, feeling his body grow warmer. They would have sex once and then the fire would fizzle out, too much time has passed between them.

"I missed having you like this, Neji." Sasuke whispered in the smaller male's ear, working on undressing the brunette, he could feel Neji doing the same.

"What, you didn't have enough whores and fans sleeping with you?" The brunette taunted, nipping on the taller male's earlobe, pushing Sasuke's pants down.

"You are not a fan or a whore, those are two seperate matters." Sasuke watched Neji go down, bringing with him his boxer. The raven could feel cool air on his lower half then a warmness, letting out a groan.

Neji wrapped his lips around the tip of Sasuke's length, holding on to the base of it. This was what he was good for, what he's been trained to do. He could feel Sasuke thrusting forward, careful not to use his teeth. He bobbed his head, feeling the tip of Sasuke's length hit the back of his throat. He focused on breathing through his nose, listening to the raven's sound of pleasure.

His hands squeezed on the length, tongue pressing against the freneun, hyper aware of Sasuke's heavy breathing.

Sasuke arched forward, looking down at the beautiful male, even after all these years, Neji was the most beautiful person he knew. Perhaps Naruto and his romanticism was rubbing off on him, for a fleeting moment he imagined being able to wake up next to Neji every morning, having the brunette surprise him at the office and more importantly having the happy family he so desperately craved.

The raven gave in to the pleasure, feeling his partner's gifted mouth, he shifted slightly, thrusting again, his grip on Neji's hair tightening "I am close." He warned, finding it almost laughable how even after all these years the brunette had him in the palm of his hand.

Instead of slowing down his pace, Neji looked up at Sasuke, quickening his pace. For a moment it felt like he was back to his teenage years, during the fleeting moment he felt happy with Sasuke. He watched the usually aloof face slowly twist into one of pure bliss, watched how those lips parted then felt the grip on his hair tighten, Sasuke pulling his face away just as something warm and sticky hit his lips.

The raven panted softly, his whole body feeling as if it was buzzing, thumb moving to trace his partner's lips just as Neji moved to lick his own lips, nose wrinkling at the saltiness that hit him.

"Satisfied, Uchiha?" Neji asked, moving to get up.

"Not until you are truly mine." Sasuke replied, moving to cup Neji's cheeks.

The brunette moved to pull away from the touch, trying to ignore the arousal he still felt. This had been a one time thing, nothing else, he would never go back to Sasuke. "If we have nothing else to discuss, I need to get home."

Sasuke stared for a moment then shook his head and sighed, moving to fix himself, he could see Neji already closing himself off "I'll take you home and that's not up for discussion." He's waited 17 years to have Neji, he could wait a bit more if it meant that he could reach his goal "You are not some whore to me, you are the mother to our children and someone extremely important to me, Neji. If I need to wait then so be it."

The brunette stayed quiet for a moment. "Just give up on me, Sasuke…just set me free from this cage you've built around us. I am far too broken for you to save me again."

"I'll never give up on you Neji…not ever." Sasuke promised softly, after that he quietly drove the brunette back home, wishing that he could go inside as well but knew it wasn't the time..at least they made some progress, no matter how small it seemed.

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A.N2:/ Hello again everyone, I managed to post again. This chapter was so-so for me, there is still a handful of chapter lefts for part 1 then we'll get to part 2 of this story. These next few chapters will have a lot of SasuNeji, I think its pretty obvious that its been a while since I've written a sex scene, apologies. Please do let me know what you think, I look forward to each review.