Enjoy!
I walked back into the bar as they inched closer. I could see The Stranger was in a bit of a pinch so I figured he could use a helping hand. Apparently, Ari had the same idea as well. "Now gentlemen, what seems to be the problem here?" I asked casually. Every head turned and scowled at me. "This little chicken shit was trying to get in my woman pants," The biggest of the bunch said as he put his revolver to The Strangers head. "Now Valentinez, did you really try to seduce another man's girl?" I asked innocently. I had 0 intention of letting a hair on his blonde head be hurt but I figured I'd have my fun with them before I sent them packing or if they so chose, to the undertaker.
"In my defense, I had no idea she had a boyfriend. She sure didn't act like it," He said nervously laughing. He immediately stopped when the big bastard cocked the hammer. "Alright now fellas, no need to spill blood over a woman. Hell, if we did that, there wouldn't be a man left standing, am I right?" I said. I got a few laughs from the crowd but the big one was adamant. "You take that pretty little girl there and go on about your business friend, this ain't got nothing to do with you," He said glaring at me. I started to speak but was cut off by Ari. "Actually it does, that little chicken shit you're holding belongs to us," She said sternly. "He's got a bounty on his head and we're here to arrest him and claim it. So unless you feel like explaining to the sheriff why you're impeding a bounty hunter in her duties, I suggest you let him go," She said.
The two stared at one another for a few moments before finally, the big one spoke again. "Never heard of a licensed bounty hunter before," He said not breaking eye contact. "We're employed by The Bernardelli Insurance Society to take out high-risk targets like him," She said pointing at The Stranger. "And, like this," She said as she held up a Vash the Stampede wanted poster. "You're holding one of the most dangerous outlaws on Gunsmoke, second only to Vash himself. Now I'd say it's in your best interest to hand him over before you make him mad. I doubt we could stop him from killing at least one of you," She said slightly smiling.
"The big one looked down at The Stranger for a moment, then pulled the trigger. He was surprised when his gun simply clicked. "What the hell?" He said loudly as he broke the gun open. To his surprise, all the bullets were gone. "What the fuck happened to-" He said before he was cut off by The Stranger. "I believe you're looking for these," He said as opened his hand and dropped 6 bullets on the ground. The big one immediately jumped back, along with the rest of the bar patrons. "Told ya," Ari said as she approached The Stranger and helped him to his feet.
"Alright now , funs over. You're going to December to answer for your crimes," Ari said sounding official. "Oh darn, you finally caught up to me you dirty law dog," The Stranger said trying and failing to sound convincing. "And you," He said pointing at me. "Lulling me into a false sense of security with your sandwiches and doughnuts, and they say I'm the villain!" He said badly acting like an outlaw. "You're not helping Val," I whispered to him as I tied his hands behind his back. "Sorry," He said back as we began walking out of the bar. "Y'all got mighty lucky today, that was a THOROUGHLY dangerous man. Next time, be careful who you pick a fight with," She said looking at the big one as she walked out the door.
We walked down the street until we were out of sight of the bar. I untied The Strangers' hands and started laughing. "Filthy law dog? That's the best you could come up with? " I said still laughing. "Sorry, I'm not the quickest thinker when I have a gun to my head," He said back as he laughed a bit. "Well, that was some damn quick-thinking taking the bullets out of his gun," Ari said as she lit a cigarette. "Oh yeah, how the hell did you do that Val? I asked looking slightly amazed at him. "It was a simple sleight of hand trick. Your friend kept his and everyone else's attention while slipped the break open just enough to take out the bullets and close it without him feeling a thing," He said proudly as he posed slightly heroically.
"Don't break your arm patting yourself on the back there pal, we did just have to pull your ass out of almost certain death," Ari said annoyed as she hit her cigarette. "And I greatly appreciate it!" He said enthusiastically. He then pulled a bag of doughnuts out of his pocket and offered her one. "Doughnut? They're delicious," He said smiling at her. She politely declined and hit her cigarette again. "Oh yeah that's right, you two haven't been formally introduced yet," I said as I took a bite of a doughnut. "Ari, This is Valentinez something or other I don't remember all of it," I said motioning to The Stranger. "Val, This is Arizona Turner," I said motioning to Ari. "Just call me Ari," She said as she shook his hand. "It's an honor meeting you Ari," He said smiling at her.
"So, what the hell do we do now?" I said as I ate. "Well, if we're going after Vash the Stampede we're going to need a damn good night's sleep because it's not going to be easy," Ari said as she crushed out her cigarette on the ground. "I wholeheartedly agree, if he's as bad as they say he is we'll be in for quite the fight," The Stranger said through a doughnut-filled mouth. "Well, then I suggest we go find a hotel for the night and get started first thing in the morning," I said as we began walking. "What about breakfast?" The Stranger said still eating. "You have 2 dozen doughnuts in your hand partner," Ari said slightly amused by him. "Well yeah," He said swallowing. "But they're going to be gone before sunrise," He said taking another bite. "We'll eat before we go," She said chuckling at this silly bastard.
We made our way to a hotel on the main street called The Watering Hole. It was nothing fancy but it had a bed and that's all I cared about. I made my way to my room and immediately began warming water for a much-needed bath. I normally didn't care about my hygiene but with Ari coming along for the ride, I figured I should at least not stink like a damn bum. I took a nice long hot bath and made my way butt naked to my room. As I dried my hair off I heard someone clear their throat from behind me. I turned to see a gorgeous young lady sitting on my bed wearing practically nothing. "I heard you're The Bombshell," She said seductively as she cast her wanting eyes on me and all my naked glory. "That- That would defiantly be me," I said slightly embarrassed trying to keep my composure.
I wish I could tell you I had the strength and willpower to usher the young lady out of my room and send her on her way. Unfortunately, I can't. I'm not proud to admit it but we spent the night together doing everything you think we did. I may have been on a mission but to be fair, I had 2 other missions on my mind BEFORE I had found out Vash the Stampede was the so-called 'Humanoid Typhoon' so I couldn't really help myself. My goals had not changed though, I was still out for blood and I was still going to kill that son of a bitch, but at that moment I was only good for a long fuck and a bit of bedroom talk afterward.