Have you ever heard a heart break? It kind of sounds like silence after finishing a gut wrenching book. Or, when you know that the last conversation was the last conversation you ever had with someone. She felt frozen, she could feel him staring at her. She can't help but stare at the still on the screen. Him on the screen, kissing her. Is that why Richard wanted her at the hospital? To meet the other woman? A title Olivia always felt she held. Even though nothing has ever happened, that's how she always felt she was viewed. Her lip quivers and she can't help but let a tear slip out. She catches it hoping he didn't see. After 23 years he can still get her to feel this way.
"Professor. Who are you kissing in the video?" His lawyer, Ray, asks.
"Elliot." She responds staring at him and Olivia.
"A rather informal way to refer to someone who is investigating your ex husband. Don't you think?"
"I consider El-Decetive Stabler, a friend."
"Well judging from this video I feel like you could say you are more than friends."
"I wanted more. I still do, but then I met the love of his life and realized that he would never pick me. Hell, I am surprised he ever picked Kathy."
"Could you explain more professor?"
"Her brown eyes, hair, her smile. The way he swims in her eyes and the fact that he can find her in a crowd, the way he looks after her as if everyone in the room will kill her, he loves her the way that love is only written in story books and poems." She looked as if she were about to start crying. "And after spending 5 minutes with Olivia Benson I can't blame him." She finished now looking at the floor. The courtroom silenced. All eyes settled on Olivia. She couldn't help herself, she looked over to Elliot. She felt Kathleen take her hand and squeeze. She turned to the blonde looking past Eli who was now staring at his shoes. Her eyes were filled with tears.
"So, you are saying that Elliot Stabler is in love with Captain Benson. Is she in love with him?" The lawyer pressed on.
"I believe so, I believe that they have always been in love. Now they can act on it." Angela responded.
"If you believe that, then why did Elliot Stabler visit you 2 nights ago and leave the next morning lacking articles of clothing?" The lawyer then pressed a button on the remote in his hand that showed Elliot leaving Angela Wheatley's apartment building. And Olivia's heart broke all over again.
Two days ago…...
"Elliot, I just think it would be better if we put the bunk beds up and you sleep in the spare." Olivia said as she stirred the pasta sauce on the stove. She was in an oversized sweatshirt and pink striped pajama pants. Her hair was up and make up was off. Elliot just stared at her as if she held the keys to the universe. Standing there in the kitchen complaining about Fin complaining about everyone else in the office. Especially Rollins. "I think she's pregnant again and just doesn't want to tell me. Because her ass is going straight to desk duty if she is." Olivia finished pouring the pasta sauce on top of the penne noodles.
"Don't forget to keep some out." He finally says staring at her.
"El, I have known you for over 20 years I know to leave some sauce out when I make the penne bake." She smirks at him as he laughs. She finishes the steps for the bake and puts it in the oven.
"I'm okay with the couch." Elliot finally says as Olivia pours herself a glass of wine.
"Why? Eli has already said he doesn't care about the sleeping situations, I know it's a 6 year difference but both boys are okay with it."
"Because I hope to find a place soon and sleeping in a bed here and getting so comfortable will deter me from looking."
"We'll that was my plan all along." Olivia smirks. Elliot laughs as the boys run into the kitchen.
"Make sure you boys wash up. Eli honey why are you already tired it is barely 7:30." Olivia said as Eli was falling asleep standing next to the kitchen island.
"Eli stayed up FaceTiming someone from school." Noah said washing his hands.
"Tattletale!" Eli yelled shoving Noah who shoved him back.
"No fighting in the kitchen where there are weapons." Elliot said as he looked down at his phone.
"Or at all. Now sit. El, everything okay?" Olivia asks while getting the bake from the oven. She felt a shift in his behavior and mood the second his phone went off.
"Yeah, save me some. Bell needs me for something. I'll be back late." Elliot says all of this without looking up from his phone. He grabs his coat and walks out the door. Olivia just stares after him then lets out a huff and turns back to the bake as she makes Eli and Noah's plates. The boys finish eating and head to bed while Olivia waits up. Hours pass before she calls Elliot, it goes straight to voicemail.
"Hey it's me, I'm just calling to see where you are and if there's anything I can do to help. I'm going to bed but I'll see you in the morning." Olivia hangs up and stares out the window hoping to see him walk past on the street. She finally goes to bed around 1:30 am and wakes up to see Elliot sneaking in the house all disheveled.
"Hey, sorry I fell asleep at the precinct." He says before he lays down on the couch.
"I'm up for the day if you want to sleep in my bed. The boys will be up soon. Might as well get a few good hours right?" Olivia said. She felt timid at this moment.
"Thank you Liv." He says walking past her and pulling her into a hug. She could feel his heartbeat. And she wanted to stay wrapped around him for hours. The boys made them break apart and Elliot walked into her bedroom.
The feeling of betrayal hurts her in ways she didn't know possible. Sitting here in the courtroom she caught Elliot in multiple lies. She felt broken. The questioning ended with the image on the screen. Her Elliot leaving Angela Wheatley's apartment building. And suddenly she felt as if he's not hers, never has been, and now she feels never will be.
Jones asks for a recess until tomorrow morning and the judge approves. She spins on her heels.
"My office now." She says to the Stabler clan and Olivia.
When they all sit down, they're at a long table. All of the kids sit at one end close to Olivia while Elliot sits on the other end staring at his family.
"I'm sorry." He says. He's not entirely sure to who but he knows who he wants it to be to.
"Save it dad, I don't want to hear it." Kathleen says laying her head on Maureen's shoulder. Olivia is standing now staring at the door. Jones walks in and throws her papers down on the table turns to Elliot.
"Would you like to explain what in the actual fuck just happened in there?" She yells.
"I'm sorry." He says again making eye contact with Olivia.
"Before you start yelling or anything like that. I have something I want to say." Olivia starts. "Eli can stay but I want you out of my house. And don't bother coming back to it tonight." She finishes and starts to walk out of the room. Eli stands and runs to her indicating that he's following where she goes. Slowly every one of the Stabler children follow Olivia out of the room without saying a word, except for Kathleen.
"How could you do that?" She asks her voice barrel about a whisper.
"I know, I didn't think honey I would have never done anything like this to you guys if I knew it would hurt you so bad." He says a tear streaming down his face.
"Not to us. To Liv." Kathleen starts. "You better make it right. Last time I chose you and walked away from someone who was kind and loving and helped me when I needed it most, but this time. I'm choosing her. We are all choosing Liv." Kathleen finishes and leaves the room.