The early morning sun rose over Nintendo City, California (because where the hell else would it be?), and at a certain mansion, the eight residents were starting to wake up to this fine sunrise.

"Ah, what a beautiful morning. The sun is out, the birds are singing, and..." Piers paused and his roommate Mia was awoken when they began to smell something burning. Alarmed, they stepped out of their room and saw smoke coming from the kitchen and quickly rushed over there where they found Garet standing by the stove. "Garet, what are you doing?!"

"Making everyone breakfast. What does it look like?" Garet replied, the smoke coming from the skillet he was holding.

Soon the other housemates came out of their rooms and saw what was going on in the kitchen. "That's not Garet cooking breakfast, is it?" Ivan asked.

"Yep, it is." Isaac confirmed, and the others groaned as Garet and cooking never made a great combination.

Although none of them were looking forward to it, the housemates sat at the dining table and soon Garet arrived with a food tray. "Good morning, everybody! Breakfast is-a served!" he announced, handing everyone a plate of pancakes, which were completely black. "Here you all go, enjoy!"

Everyone looked at their plates in uncertainty, and eventually Isaac decided to take one for the team and take the first bite, but not before completely dousing the whole thing in syrup, but even with that, it wasn't enough to cover up the burnt flavor.

"So, how is it?" Garet asked, eagerly awaiting an answer.

Despite the terrible taste, Isaac forced himself to swallow and feigned a smile and thumbs up. "I-It's great, Garet! Definitely tastes like a pancake and not like that icky black stuff that sticks to the bottom of a grill!"

"Oh, good, I'm glad you like it."

Jenna then spotted a plate of black strips. "Um...is that bacon?"

"Yep, and I made 'em extra crispy."

Since no one else wanted to, Jenna took a piece of bacon and bit into it with a very audible crunch. "Oh, that's crispy, alright!"

"Yeah, that's the way I like 'em." Garet replied. "What about you, Felix? Do you like my breakfast?"

Unlike the others, Felix didn't waste a second to give his brutally honest opinion. "No, I don't, Garet, it's terrible. Absolutely terrible."

"But you haven't even taken one bite!"

"I don't need to taste this food to know that it's shit, just like everything else you cook."

"Oh...well, thanks for the constructive criticism." Garet replied, and then smelled something else burning. "Oh crap, I forgot about the toast!" he exclaimed as he rushed back into the kitchen, and as soon as he was gone, everyone took their plates and tossed the food in the trash.

"No offense, Isaac, but Garet is quite possibly the worst cook." Mia said.

"I know, and I don't think I can keep masking it anymore." Isaac sighed. "I guess I'll just have cereal."

Yep, just another typical morning with the housemates, now cue the intro.

(Opening Theme Song: Mr. Blue Sky by Electric Light Orchestra)

The intro begins with the eight housemates driving on a bridge in their van like in the intro to Full House.

Latias425 presents...

A FanFiction Original Series

A series of clips plays as the cast rolls.

Staring Max Mittleman as Isaac

Dan Green as Garet

Lani Minella as Ivan

Cherami Leigh as Mia

David Matranga as Felix

Cindy Robinson as Jenna

Nika Futterman as Sheba

And Kirk Thornton as Piers

Some more clips play and the intro ends with the gang sitting in front of the house as the title appears.

Adepts of the Modern Age

Chapter 2: A Series of Random Events

Garet's Secret Identity

Garet landed on the front porch, looking rather beat. "Oh man, that was a really tough fight back there. Well, at least now I get to go home and relax." He opened the door and walked inside to find the other housemates sitting around the dinner table.

"There you are, Garet." Jenna said.

"Where've you been, man?" Isaac asked. "Your food's been sitting here and getting cold."

"And you're usually the first one at the table." added Piers.

Garet walked over and sat down at the table. "Yeah, I was just...taking care of some stuff."

"What kind of stuff?" Mia asked.

"Oh, just saving the planet from alien supervillains, nothing too serious." Garet casually answered, making everyone do a double take as they spit out their food and drinks.

"WHAT?!" they all exclaimed.

"Oh, I probably shouldn't have said that out loud."

"Y-You're just screwing with us, right?" Sheba asked. "There's no way you're being serious right now."

"Actually, now that I think about it, I noticed that you have been away much longer than usual lately." Piers noted. "Is there a reason for that?"

Seeing everyone awaiting an answer, Garet sighed. "Alright guys, there's something I have to confess. I know you're all probably not gonna believe me when I say this, but...I'm actually a Saiyan."

The others were silent until Isaac asked, "Wait, you mean like a Saiyan from Dragon Ball?"

"Yes, that's it."

Everyone was silent again until they all burst out laughing, which was what Garet expected.

"You, a Saiyan?" Felix scoffed. "That has to be the most ridiculous lie I've ever heard."

"I'm not lying, you guys. I really am a Saiyan."

"Oh, really?" Sheba raised an eyebrow. "Prove it then. Show us your special Saiyan powers."

"Okay, I will. Watch this." Garet replied, putting two fingers to his forehead and instantly transporting himself to the other side of the room, surprising everyone. "You ever seen anybody do that?"

"Ooh, ooh, can you do a Kamehameha?" Ivan asked eagerly.

"Sure!" Everyone moved out of the way as Garet put his hands together and a ball of energy started forming between them. "Kame...hame...HAAA!" With that yell, he fired the beam from his hands that completely destroyed the nearest wall and probably also a neighbor's house as everyone stood in amazement. "I know, pretty awesome, right?" Garet grinned as he folded his hands behind his head.

"So, wait...Garet, you've had these powers this whole time and you never bothered to tell any of us?!" Isaac exclaimed.

"Well, my parents always told me to keep my Saiyan identity a secret, but I guess you all would've found out eventually, so there's no use hiding it now."

"Hey, that reminds me. Have you met Goku?" Jenna asked.

"Yeah, of course I have! Goku's a very chill guy to hang out with and we've met up quite a few times. Here, I even got a picture." Garet replied, showing everyone a picture of him posing with the legendary Saiyan himself.

"Lucky." Ivan muttered. "Have you ever actually fought Goku?"

"If so, did you win?" Isaac wondered.

"Oh yeah, I fought Goku just a couple weeks ago and I totally kicked his ass!" Garet boasted, though whether or not that was actually true was anyone's guess.

"Yeah, that's great and all, but the real question is, can you turn Super Saiyan?" Sheba asked.

Garet scoffed. "Of course I can!"

"Well then, can we see you do it?" Isaac asked.

"Sure, but first I need you all to give me some space." Everyone took a few steps back as Garet closed his eyes and hummed as he started concentrating his power, but then stopped to cough. "Sorry, I just need to clear my voice to perfect my transformation scream." After clearing his throat, he went back to concentrating.

Felix rolled his eyes. "He's bluffing. There's no way he can become Super Saiyan."

"Oh, I'll be making you eat your words, Felix, just you wait!"

Two hours later...

The gang stood tiredly as Garet was still trying to turn Super Saiyan, but was unsuccessful.

"Alright, enough of this. Now he's just wasting our time." Felix walked over to Garet and shook him, causing him to break his concentration.

"Dang it, Felix, you made me mess up! Now I gotta start all over!" Garet exclaimed, making everyone groan. "Okay, let's try this again." He got back to concentrating intently as he felt the power build up inside him, and he soon let out his greatest transformation scream as a bright yellow aura surrounded him and his hair turned golden.

The housemates all stared at the spectacle in awe. "Holy crap, he actually did it!" Isaac exclaimed.

"Incredible..." Piers whispered.

Super Saiyan Garet grinned as he floated in the air and crossed his arms. "Now do you believe me?" he asked Felix, who was just as at a loss for words.

"I can't believe it...we're actually looking at a real Super Saiyan!" Ivan gasped in awe.

"Yeah, and I got plenty more to show一" Garet was interrupted when heard his phone ring and he took it out and answered it. "Yes, hello? ...Aw, crap."

"What is it?" Jenna asked.

"Just got a call from my dad, apparently Frieza's come back for revenge." Garet sighed. "Sorry guys, looks like I gotta go. The planet could potentially blow up if I don't." With that he flew through the hole in the wall and the gang watched as he took off into the sky in a golden streak.

"Man, to think my best friend was an alien superhero this entire time." Isaac sighed before realizing something. "Wait, does this mean Garet's entire family is aliens?"

"And did he just say something about the planet potentially blowing up?" Sheba asked.

"Oh, I really hope that doesn't happen." Mia muttered.

Felix scoffed. "Yeah right, like he's really going out there and fighting alien supervillains."

Meanwhile, on the other side of the world, Garet landed in the middle of a desert where one of his greatest adversaries stood with his back turned.

"So, we meet again, Garet, for the last time!" exclaimed Frieza as he turned to face the Saiyan.

"So it is, but I'm not gonna lose today!" Garet proclaimed, and then the two flew towards each other to have a very intense fight and the scene froze right before they could clash. Will Garet be able to stop Frieza from destroying the earth? Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z!

"So, what do you guys think?" Garet asked, having finished presenting his new comic to the other housemates, who all just stared in bewilderment.

"It's...interesting, I'll give it that." Piers answered.

"Garet, I think you may have just been watching a bit too much anime." Isaac replied.

Felix the Grump

Felix was always what you would call a grump as he pretty much rarely ever smiled or laughed. This often led to the housemates wondering if it was because he was depressed or just had no sense of humor, but perhaps the real reason was because he was the only sane man living with a bunch of crazy people and had just become numb to the insanity.

One morning, the brunette was sitting in the living room when Garet came in. "Hey Felix, you wanna hear something funny?"

"No, especially not from you." Felix grumbled, but Garet decided to tell him anyway.

"Okay, so one time Isaac and I were watching this show about a kid and his grandpa who's a scientist and they go on crazy sci-fi adventures and stuff, and there's this one episode where the scientist performs a revolutionary experiment on himself. You wanna know what he does?" Felix didn't say anything. "Come on, don't you wanna know?"

"Fine, what's the 'revolutionary experiment' he does?" Felix asked, trying, and failing, to sound remotely interested in what Garet had to say.

"Okay Felix, brace yourself for this. For his revolutionary experiment, he...he..." It was getting harder for Garet to contain himself as he exclaimed, "He turns himself into a pickle!" He burst into hysterical laughter while Felix just stared at him with a look that was like, 'Bruh, are you f**king serious?' and Garet eventually settled down, wiping away a tear from his eye. "Oh man, funniest shit I've ever seen."

Felix groaned. "Garet, you make my head hurt."

"Really? This is what makes my head hurt." Garet walked off and came back with a frying pan, and then proceeded to hit himself in the face with it, leaving him stunned as his eyes became spirals and he fell to the floor.

Felix shook his head and walked off while muttering, "Idiot."

Garet recovered and saw him leaving. "Dammit. I thought for sure that would make him laugh."

"Garet, when has Felix ever laughed at you being a complete imbecile?" asked Sheba, who saw the whole thing.

"Never." Garet muttered, now feeling a migraine. "Ugh, now my head really hurts."

The next morning, Felix woke up and groaned upon remembering what day it was. Today was his birthday, and he knew the second he stepped out of his room, he would be constantly reminded that he was now a year older.

Sure enough, as soon as he opened the door, there stood the other housemates wearing wide smiles and party hats and Garet blew a party horn.

"Happy birthday, Felix!" they all exclaimed as Jenna put a party hat on the birthday boy, whose scowl only got even more nasty, and he kept that face as he sat at the kitchen table and the cake was placed in front of him while everyone sang happy birthday.

"Now blow out the candles and make a wish!" Jenna said, but her brother just sat there still scowling.

"Hey Felix, aren't you gonna blow out your candles?" Isaac asked.

"No. I didn't want any singing or cake."

"Aw, come on, bro, it's your birthday! Shouldn't you try to be happy?"

"About what? The fact that I survived another year on this hellscape and am only getting closer to my inevitable death?"

Everyone just stared in shock. "How about we just have some cake?" Piers suggested, breaking the awkward silence.

After the cake was cut and everyone got a piece, Felix still had a grimace as he didn't bother to touch his slice.

"Hey Felix, I got you a present." Garet said, handing him a wrapped box.

"Oh boy, I wonder what Garet got me." Felix replied flatly, tearing off the wrapping and opening the box to find a book. "A joke book?"

"Yep, I thought you could use a laugh or two from it." Garet replied as Felix looked through the book. "Do you like it?"

Felix looked up at him and tossed away the book. "No, Garet, these jokes are the complete opposite of funny."

"Oh well, I tried." Garet hung his head and walked off, only to step on a rolling pin that was lying on the floor for some reason and he yelped as he started sliding around the kitchen, failing his arms helplessly until he crashed into the wall beneath the shelves where the pots and pans were kept, a large pot falling on his head and leaving him stunned.

Everyone gasped and it was silent for a moment until they heard chuckling, and what surprised them the most was who it was coming from. It was Felix, a small smile on his face as he continued chuckling, and it soon turned into a full hearty laugh.

"Is he...actually laughing?" Garet asked, taking the pot off his head and seeing that the brunette was in fact laughing.

"Garet, I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but you just made my day." Felix smiled, still chuckling as the scene replayed in his head.

"I...I did it! I made Felix laugh!" Garet exclaimed before a frying pan fell on his head and his eyes became spirals as stars circled his head, which only made Felix laugh even harder, and it made his birthday ten times better, that is, until his sides ended up hurting the rest of the day from laughing too much.

Having a Gay Old Time

On one fine afternoon, two certain guys were up to something rather...questionable in the kitchen.

"Woah, that's quite a lot of meat you got there, Garet." Isaac commented, and Jenna and Mia just so happened to be walking by the door outside, and they froze at what they just heard.

"Yeah, you think I can fit all of it in?" came Garet's voice.

"Sure, go ahead. I like a lot of meat between my buns." Isaac answered, making the girls' eyes go wide as they heard the sound of meat slapping.

"Okay Isaac, are you ready for the climax?" Garet then asked.

"Oh yeah, give me some of that thick white cream." Isaac replied rather seductively, making Jenna's heart nearly stop.

Garet chuckled. "Oh, don't you worry, Isaac, I got plenty of it stored up."

Now the two girls looked absolutely mortified. "What. The. F**k." Jenna muttered while Mia didn't know if she should be disturbed or turned on at the thought of the two guys doing some potentially dirty stuff behind that door, though at the moment it was likely she was feeling both.

"Get ready, Isaac! Here it comes!" Garet warned, a squirting sound shortly following which only made the girls' faces turn even redder than Jenna's hair.

"Agh, Garet, you're squirting too much! It's getting everywhere!" Isaac exclaimed. "Aw man, you got some on my shirt!"

"Alright, hold on, just let me get a rag..."

"I can't take any more of this..." Mia muttered, squeezing her legs together while Jenna, now getting enraged, barged into the kitchen where they found Isaac and Garet standing there fully dressed with a sandwich sitting on the counter and the latter holding a rag and a bottle of mayonnaise.

"Oh, hey girls." Isaac waved to them. "We were just fixing ourselves some lunch."

The two girls blinked. "Y-You...were just making a sandwich?" Jenna asked.

"Yeah, of course." Garet stated like it was the most obvious thing ever. "You want us to make you one?"

Jenna quickly shook her head. "N-No thanks, I-I'm not really hungry right now."

"Y-Yeah, I think we're just...gonna go lay down for a while." Mia muttered as the two left the kitchen, leaving the guys confused.

"What's with them?" Isaac asked.

"I don't know, but they looked pretty shocked. Did they think we were having gay sex or something?" Garet wondered, and the two friends exchanged a glance and then burst into laughter, and once they settled down, Isaac took a bite of his sandwich.

"Oh man, I guess we really got them—" As Isaac was talking, the food ended up going down the wrong pipe and he started coughing and gasping like crazy.

Garet realized what was happening and gasped. "Isaac, you're choking! Don't worry, man, I'll save you!" He quickly got behind Isaac and wrapped his arms around him as he started performing the Heimlich maneuver.

At that time, Ivan and Sheba walked into the kitchen, only to freeze when they saw Isaac leaning against the counter and gasping while Garet was right behind him and grunting as he repeatedly thrusted, and they immediately turned around and walked out, probably to go get some brain bleach.

Golden Sun Golf

On a nice, bright, sunny day, the gang decided to go golfing at a resort near the house.

Isaac was up to putt, staring at the ball intently as he couldn't decide where to position his club. "A little to the left...no, right, right will give me better trajectory and—"

"Will you just hit the ball already?" Sheba asked impatiently. "You've been doing this for like half an hour now."

"Don't rush me! If I'm gonna get a hole in one, I need to aim it just right." Isaac replied, moving his club around some more.

Just then, Garet arrived at the field with a couple hot dogs. "Hey guys, did I miss anything?"

"Nope, you're just in time to see me score a hole in one!" Isaac proclaimed, finally finding a good position and readying his club.

Garet took a bite of his hot dog. "Come on, Isaac, you got this, man!" he called with a full mouth right by Felix, much to his irritation.

"Garet, could you please not chew your food right in my ear?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry."

"Okay, I think I got it. Don't fail me now!" Isaac swung his club and hit the ball, making it go flying, but it ended up going off course and landing in a lake. "NOOO!" he cried as he fell to his knees. "Why?! I had it just right!"

After that little blunder, the other housemates went up to putt and soon it was Garet's turn, and he thought about doing something different. "Hey guys, I'm gonna try and score a hole in one with my eyes closed. You think I can do it?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever." was the others' responses.

"Alright, here I go." Garet closed his eyes and readied his golf club.

"Be careful with that club, Garet!" Piers warned, and Garet swung his club and hit the ball, which went flying towards the group.

"Bro, look out!" Jenna shouted, but Felix didn't have a chance to react as he was hit right in his golf balls, making him yell out as the girls gasped and the guys winced.

"Ugh...why me?" he moaned as he clutched his groin.

Garet opened his eyes and looked up at the sky. "Did I do it? Did I hit the ball?"

"Well, you hit the ball, alright." Isaac muttered.

Still feeling agony in his crotch, Felix marched over to the one who caused him the pain. "Garet..."

"Yeah?" Garet turned around, unaware as to what just happened.

Felix snatched the golf club and then spoke in a calm yet threatening tone, "You have exactly three seconds to start running before I come and bust your kneecaps with this club, so if I were you I'd get my ass moving."

"Okay." Garet slowly took a few steps back before taking off for his life while screaming his head off and Felix chased after him with the club. "AAH, WHAT DID I EVEN DO?!"

"Your ball hit me in the balls, Garet, NOW GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!" Felix shouted as he started running even faster while the other housemates watched.

"I'll go get them." Isaac and Jenna sighed as they went after the two.

Elsewhere, Mario and his friends were enjoying themselves with some golf when they heard screaming, and soon Garet came running through the field with Felix still hot on his tail. "Help, he's gonna kill me!" Yep, this was pretty much how every game the gang played resulted in.