"What are you thinking about?" He asked, as sweat glistened on her skin. Her breath quicken as the pace picked up, and a groan escaped her lips.
Fergal watched her push herself faster and faster, until he reached up and hit the button, bringing the treadmill to a stop.
"Mel, talk to me. Tell me something."
"I don't know what to say. It's not that I don't want you to go." She finally answered, stepping off the treadmill.
"I just, I don't want to be here without you. I mean, this is the last thing I thought today would bring."
It was their one year anniversary when he told her about the call from WWE. When he told her that he was thinking about leaving Japan.
She was happy for him. She knew he felt like he had accomplished everything he could in Japan. She knew what his dream was.
At the same time, she didn't want to lose him.
"I know. But I didn't want to keep it from you. We have talked about this when the rumors started, we've discussed my feelings." He took a deep breath.
"There's a big difference between what if's and the actual reality of it staring me in the face."
"I'll get back. We'll still see each other." He promised her.
"When Fergal? You won't get to have the say anymore on when you can come and go. You will lose that." She said, grabbing her towel and wiped her face.
"And I'm afraid we'll lose each other too."
"Then just ask me. All you have to do is say the words."
"I won't. I want you to go. I want you to live your dreams. I don't want to hold you back, Fergal." She forced a smile.
"I wouldn't be able to live with myself."
"We'll make it work. You'll see." He told her, placing a hand on both sides of her face, pressing his lips against hers.
"I love you."
"Hey, you ok?" Johnny asked, leaning in to Mel's side, they had gone to a late dinner with friends after the show.
She had spent most of their dinner looking out the window, not seeing much of anything, her mind wondering back to Japan.
"Sorry." She apologized to the table.
"I have some things going on at work I'm trying to figure out. I'm sorry for being so distracted."
"Don't apologize." Curtis Axel, one of Johnny's best friends, told her.
"We all know what they're asking of you. Johnny's told us about it."
"Yeah? It's just a lot with the web design, and the network. They are looking for a new show, and for some reason think I should have all the ideas." Mel told them, letting them think she was worried about that, instead of thinking of the man who had come back in her life after nearly six years.
"What do you all think, anyone have any input?"
"I told her she needs to do her own show where she interviews people." Johnny smirked.
"No, not at all." Mel told him.
"Come on Mel." Tyler Breeze chimed in.
"You always do interviews and talk off camera, why would it be any different from showing your face?"
"True." Axel said.
"You're hot, men will watch just for that."
"Hey now, quit hitting on my women." Johnny laughed at him, finishing off his fifth drink for the night.
She could tell he was drunk. His words were slurring, and she had pushed his hand out of her panties several times where it had crept up her skirt.
"I don't know about you guys but I'm ready to head back to the hotel."
"Yeah, as long as you don't drive." Mel smiled a good night to the rest of the group as Johnny handed her the keys and they walked out of the restaurant.
Mel helped Johnny to his room. As the hotel door closed behind them, Johnny wrapped his arms around Mel's waist.
"I've been waiting all night to get you alone." He said, pressing his lips against hers.
Mel's hand fell to his chest, pushing him slightly away from her.
"Not tonight." She said, slipping out of his hands, walking across the room, grabbing her extra room key off the dresser, to make sure he couldn't follow her.
"Come on, Baby. I'm all hot and bothered, and I want you." He said, pressing his lips to her neck.
"You're also drunk, Johnny." She said, thinking back to the one and only time she had sex with Johnny while he was drunk.
The bruises and pain that she dealt with for the following week. The bites that had drawn blood and left light pink scars on the inside of both her thighs were still visible.
He had more than lost control of himself, ignoring her cries and pleads of asking him to stop. He had more than scared her, he hurt her.
He apologized the next day when he found her in her own hotel room where she had escaped to once he had passed out. He cried when he saw the marks he had left.
He begged her not to leave him, and she vowed to never be alone with him again when he was drinking.
"I'm going to my room."
"Mel, come on." Johnny called as she walked to the door.
"Don't be mad."
She turned and looked at him, taking a deep breath and walked back to him.
She placed her hand gently on his cheek.
"Johnny, you have a long day tomorrow. It's late and you have to be up early for radio. And you know how handsie you are when you've been drinking. You need your sleep." She kissed him softly, his hands falling around her, pulling her to him, letting his hand slide under her skirt, pulling it up.
"See, this is exactly what I'm talking about." She smiled at him, removing herself from his arms.
"I'll be good. I promise." He said, holding her hand, and pulling her back to him, a second later his hand going back under her skirt.
"Good night, Johnny." She laughed.
"I'll see you in the morning."
Sitting on the bed in her own hotel room, she went through her suitcase, which she refused to unpack, hoping to find a place of her own soon after her transfer from New York. She moved things to the side, looking for something to sleep in, her hands grabbed her running shorts, before she could even think about it.
Knowing she'd sleep better if she went for a run, she pulled them on, sliding on her sneakers.
"Hungry?" Fergal asked standing at her door, holding up a couple Starbucks cups and a bag with a brownie in it.
She had gone to bed early after an argument with him earlier in the day, but seeing him standing there, with that goofy look on his face, she couldn't help but smile, stepping back and waving him in.
"I'm sorry, love." He told her, breaking the brownie in half.
"I didn't mean to upset you."
"Ferg, don't. It was a stupid argument. I was just being emotional." She told him.
"I shouldn't have gotten so mad, I know you have to go to other shows."
"It wasn't stupid, I know why you got mad. The real reason." He told her.
"Ok, I doubt that, but let's hear it." She said.
"You saw the photo." He smirked.
"I did not." Mel said, not able to hide the surprise in her voice.
"Here, I had wondered why you had been so short with me the past two days on the phone, then it hit me when I was tagged in a post." Fergal said.
"You saw the picture on twitter."
"What picture?" She asked, stunned he figured it out.
"The one of the girl kissing me." He said. When she started to open her mouth, he stopped her.
"Mel, she jumped the barrier. I didn't touch her. My hands were in the air. I waited for security to get her off me."
"You waited until she got a hand full of your dick." Mel pouted, then took a deep breath.
She knew she was mad at the wrong person. She knew Fergal had nothing to do with what happened.
But to think of another woman touching him in a way that was reserved only for her. It hurt her more than she should have let it.
"It really wasn't a big deal."
"Liar. You're awful at lying." He laughed, pulling her onto his lap.
"Forgive me?" He asked, pressing his lips to her neck.
"I may need some more convincing." She smirked.
He reached for the bottom of her night shirt, pulling it off her, leaving her only in her panties, letting his lips press against hers as he picked her up and laid her on the couch.
"What about now?" He asked, as his mouth covered her nipple, making her moan.
"I'm getting there." She breathed.
"Oh yeah?" His mouth moved further south, his hands jerking her panties off her body, tossing them over his shoulder.
"Now?" He asked, not wasting anytime, burying his face between her legs, his tongue knowing exactly where to lick, causing her hips to thrust up, as he slipped two fingers in her.
"So. Close." She breathed.
He removed his clothes, placing himself at the right spot, her eyes watching his face as he entered her.
He was slow, watching her face as she moaned and squirmed beneath him.
"Faster Ferg." She pleaded.
"Not until you forgive me." He smirked at the whine that left her mouth.
"OK, I forgive you." She said, her hands reaching towards him to pull him into her quicker.
"No, no." He took her wrists into his hand, holding them away from him.
"Come on Ferg." She whined.
"Say ya trust me, and you can be in control." He said to her.
"I do trust you." Her eyes had locked with his, he could read how serious she was. With that he pulled her up, laying back on the couch, her straddling him, setting the pace she wanted.
His thumbs pressed into her hip bones as she rode his cock, leaving prints, his hips thrusting up into her.
Telling she was close, he sat up, pulling her lips to his, drinking in her cries of ecstasy.
"GAWD Fergal!" She moaned, kissing him one last time before getting up.
She grabbed her cup of coffee, taking a drink.
"Coffee's cold."
"Mel." Fergal said, walking up to her, pulling her into his arms.
"What is it?" She asked, seeing the intensity in his eyes.
"I know that your last relationship wasn't good. I know he cheated on you more than once." Fergal said, letting his hands fall onto her naked hips.
"I know I have a reputation for being with many women, but, Mel, I'm not him."
"I know you're not, and I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions before asking you."
"I'm not cheating on you. Ever." He told her.
"I found everything I want in you. I love you." He said, making her smile.
"I know." She kissed him.
"I love you too, Ferg. I'm sor..." He stopped her apology by kissing her.
"I heard you were staying here. Did I wake you?" She asked as he opened the door.
She could tell he was freshly showered, standing there in a pair of pajama pants, his hair slightly wet, and his scent wafting to her nose.
He shook his head, and she held up two Starbucks cups and a bag.
"Brownie?" His Irish accent sounded, as her mind thought of all the times it was her on the other side of the door, and he brought her a coffee.
When she was having a bad day, or feeling down missing the states, he was always there with a brownie and coffee, making her feel better.
"Of course." She smiled as he stepped back and let her into his hotel room.
"How are you?"
"I was going to ask you the same thing." Fergal said, pulling out a chair at the small table for her to sit at.
He broke the brownie in half handing a part to her.
"Where's your boyfriend?"
"In his room, sleeping it off. He had a few too many tonight." Mel smiled.
"Where's your girlfriend? I'm sorry, I mean wife." He looked at her, not able to hide his look of surprise this time Vera was mentioned.
"What? You really didn't think I knew you got married?"
"Honestly, no. I was surprised when you said it earlier today. I didn't think you cared enough to know." He smiled at her.
"It's nice to know I was wrong about that."
"Ferg, you act like I hate you." She said.
"We drifted apart. It's not like we had a bad relationship."
"Does he know you're here?"
She shook her head.
"So you just slip out of bed without waking him?"
"I have my own room. I took a run, and ended up at Starbucks."
"You still run?" He asked her.
"Almost everyday. Just like always."
"Yeah, those look like the same shorts you wore the first time we fucked." Fergal smirked at her, making her blush.
She tugged at the bottom of the shorts hoping he hadn't noticed the scars.
"Really, are you happy?"
"He's a nice guy."
"He makes you happy?"
"He treats me good." She told him, not really lying, yet not telling the whole truth.
"Johnny and I are good together. How our relationship is, it works. We work."
"And we didn't?" He asked her.
"Johnny and I work when we aren't with each other. " She said.
"Yeah, well, you and Johnny are never out of the same country. It's different when you are more than just a drive away."
"I didn't come here to fight with you."
"I don't want to fight with you either." He told her.
"I mean I knew you had moved on, I guess I just didn't think about how I would feel seeing you in someone else's arms."
"How's Mel doin?" She heard Fergal's voice through a phone as she started to knock on the locker room door.
She stopped and listened. He left three months ago, and had only been back once.
He hadn't called or texted her in a month.
"Why don't you call her? Ask her yourself?" Karl told him.
"Because I'm asking you. And we fight every time I call her."
"She's good at work, but that's the only time I see her." Karl told him.
"She doesn't come by the dojo anymore. We don't see her except here. Why aren't you talking to her?"
"I don't have an answer for that." Fergal admitted.
"She gets so upset every time we talk. I know she's missing me, and missing home, and here I am almost in her home town. Enjoying everything the states have to offer, everything she's missing. I feel like I'm holding her back. I just keep thinking that maybe she would be better off without me."
That was all she needed to hear. She turned and left the arena, not even finishing her day.
Two days later Mel found herself outside Fergal's apartment in Orlando, knocking.
"Mel?" He gasped as he opened the door.
"What are you doing here?" He asked, pulling her to him, kissing her deeply and pulling at the bottom of her shirt.
"I didn't come here for that." She told him, pulling away from him.
"We need to talk."
"What's going on?" He asked.
"I overheard your call with Karl." She told him.
"I heard what you told him Fergal. That I would be better off without you. Is that really where we are?"
"I don't know." Fergal answered honestly, running his hand through his dark, short hair.
His facial expression told her everything she needed to know.
He was hurt and lost. And she couldn't stop the tears from flowing.
"I didn't think it would come to this, Mel. Really, I didn't. But you did. How did you know?"
"You were starting a new career. I was wrapped up in mine." She told him.
"We are the same when it comes to work. Anything to make it perfect, to succeed at what we want."
She stepped forward and took his hands into hers, his fingers interlacing with hers.
"I called and text you. You never responded."
"I know. I was busy..."
"But you can call Karl?"
"I didn't know what to say. I don't know how to fix things." Fergal said.
"I didn't want this to happen. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you."
"I don't think this can be fixed." She said softly.
"I think we've let things fall apart too much. Both of us unwilling to be the better person, and apologize. Both of us thinking we were right."
"I didn't want it to end this way." His grip tightening, not wanting to let go of her.
"If I didn't want you, I would have told you."
"I know. I'm not saying that, we just fell apart. Not on purpose. It just happened." She said, pulling her hands away from his.
"Tell me how I'm suppose to get past this, past you." He said, taking her hand back, pulling her back towards him.
"What are you going to do?"
"Tonight, I'm driving to Tampa, staying at my brother's, getting drunk and crying myself to sleep." She said.
"Tomorrow I will board a plane back to Japan, and beg them to let me keep my job. Then I'll take it day by day. Hour by hour, if I have to. Until I learn how to live without you, Ferg."
"Melanie..." She let her finger touch his lips, quieting him.
"You will mourn the loss of our relationship in however it is you need to in order to move on and succeed in your new career here." She smiled at him.
"You will be fine, I know you can do this."
As she started to walk away he pulled her back to him, kissing her hard.
"I love you." He breathed, pressing his forehead to hers, arms wrapped tightly around her.
"I love you, Fergal." She said softly, before pulling away from him and walking out his door.
"You never answered, are you happy?" Fergal asked.
"Is it the same as when we were together?"
"Fergal..." Mel started, but he stopped her.
"Do you love him?" Fergal blurted out.
Mel almost choked as she took a drink, startled by his question.
"Does he make you feel the way I did?"
"Does she Ferg?" Mel snapped.
"You're right. I'm just..." He ran his fingers through his short, dark hair.
"He's not good enough for you."
"As oppose to who? You?"
A wicked grin spread across his face as she spoke, but his look completely changed as he took in her words.
A look of almost pain replaced it.
"No." He said quietly.
"Not me. Look at what I did to ya, Love. You were perfect. You didn't do anything wrong. I had never felt like that before, never had someone who loved me with their whole heart like you did. And what did I do? I crushed you. I broke you. The guys told me how you were when you went back to Japan. How much weight you had lost from not eating, how you got in trouble for not focusing on your job. I know what I did. I know how I almost destroyed you. What does that say about me? What kind of man am I that I could do that? Hurt you, the one person I gave my soul too. The one person who knew me inside and out. And I still went and ruined it. So no. Not me. I definitely don't deserve you. But at least I always treated you right when we were together. I never cut you off while you were speaking. Everything you have to say is worth being heard. I never paraded you around, on display, like I had made you into what you were. Like you are just some piece of eye candy to make others jealous. You're more than your looks Mel, and if he doesn't see that, then you don't need to be with him. And as much as he wants to pretend, you aren't his, and you know that."
"Whose am I then, Fergal?" She asked.
"Yours? Is that what you want? You want me?" Her question took him by surprise, but he had no choice but to answer honestly.
"Of course I want you. I've never stopped wanting you."
"Your wife may have an issue with that." Mel said.
"You look tired." She told him, finishing her drink, not knowing what else to say.
"Yeah, well, I shouldn't be. I've been on a break for two months." He smiled at her.
"Ya know, honeymoon and all. I felt rested before coming back. But for some reason, tonight I'm exhausted."
"Well, I'll let you get some sleep. You working the pay-per-view tomorrow?" She smiled at him as she stood to leave.
"I don't know if I'm working, but I'll be there. I'm sure I'll see you." He told her.
"I bet we will be working rather closely together."
He walked her to the door, taking the chance to pull her to him.
She let her arms wrap around his naked back, laying her head against his chest.
"I have missed you, Mel."
"I've missed you, Ferg." She said softly, before pulling away and opening his door, stepping into the hall.
His hand was still around her wrist, he used it to pull her back to him, letting it slide around her slender waist, pulling her body against his.
His free hand sliding up her body to her neck, cradling her head as his lips pressed to hers.
He anticipated her pulling away, and tightened his grip on her waist, but he was wrong. When he tightened his grip her lips parted, inviting his tongue to play with hers. Her hands started on his hips, but made their way to his neck, her fingers tangling in his hair.
Time was lost on both of them, as they were caught in their own world.
But a pair of hidden eyes saw the whole thing.
The sound of the door opening had caused him to stop in his tracks, on his way back to his room with a bucket of ice.
He watched as Fergal's lips moved to her neck, causing her to moan softly, before returning to her lips once again.
Mel pulled her lips back slightly, pressing her forehead against his.
"As long as that ring remains an unbroken circle around your finger, and that ink stains your skin, forever linking you with her, this can't happen." She told him.
"No matter how we feel. No matter if I'm with someone or not. You are married Ferg. That is something that I can't handle. A girlfriend, maybe. Because I would know that you had never gotten over me. You have never been replaced in my life, Fergal. But I have in yours. You have someone who you wake up next to everyday. Someone who you have promised forever too, and it's not me anymore."
She let her lips press against his one last time before pulling her body from his and walking away.
The hidden figure remained in the shadows, watching everything unfold in front of him. He had heard every word shared between the two of them, and saw the kisses. He watched as Mel jogged down the hall, not looking back, and as Fergal looked after her until she disappeared around the corner, and then he finally went back in his room.
It was then the hidden figure knew what he had to do, not even bothering to stop and put the ice in his room.