A/N: This was requested by a follower on Tumblr and does deal with pregnancy loss.
"Deeks?" Kensi called, making her way through the house. "Have you seen my phone?"
She found him a few minutes later in the spare bedroom and froze at the sight before her. He was leaning over the twin bed, shoulders shaking with silent, but obvious sobs. Immediately, she rushed to him and sank to her knees beside him.
"Baby, what's wrong?" He didn't answer, opening his hand to reveal a tiny white shoe. Kensi's stomach sank as the reason for his distress became terribly clear.
Still looking down, Deeks futilely scrubbed at his face. His hands shook over his cheeks, making Kensi's heart ache for him. She gently laid her palm over his fingers, halting his frantic movements.
"I'm sorry‒I, um." His voice broke and he gestured to the shoes.
"Baby, why were you looking at these again?" She couldn't completely keep the pain from her voice.
"I didn't mean to," he whispered hoarsely. "I was looking for some pictures for my mom and I found the box." Deeks shook his head, still not meeting her eyes. "I knew I shouldn't, but I couldn't stop myself from looking at them again. And then I started thinking about how old she'd be right now. If she had lived."
He let out a shuddery breath, finally looking down at Kensi. His eyes were red and Kensi dug her fingers into his shirt in an attempt to contain herself. It was pointless though; a couple tears slipped down her cheeks.
After months of trying to get pregnant and finally succeeding, she'd miscarried at 18 weeks. Her doctor had called it a late miscarriage and while she'd been sympathetic, it had been little consolation.
Kensi would never forget the look of desolation on Deeks' face when they found out. Or how quickly he had tried to compose himself in order to support her. She still saw that haunted, destroyed look sometimes, like today. Only this time, he either wasn't trying or able to hide it.
"She would have been five weeks old this week," Kensi murmured, unable to stop herself from imagining the baby she would never hold again. Their little Elizabeth.
Deeks, seeming to sense her distress, gathered her against his chest, pressing his nose into her hair. Kensi buried her head in his shoulder, seeking the comfort and familiarity of his touch.
"I'm sorry I brought it up again," Deeks said, sniffing as he pulled back a little. He smoothed his hand down her cheek, brushing back her hair. Of course he would blame himself; they both did.
"No, baby, don't be sorry." Kensi cupped his jaw, managing a shaky smile. "It's important that we don't forget her."
"I really miss her." His voice broke again and they sank down on the bed together.
As they cried over the tiny baby shoes, composed themselves, and then tucked the keepsake away once more, Kensi wondered if they would ever be truly happy again.
Several months later.
"Agent Blye, have you had any previous head trauma?" Sadie, the nurse taking down Kensi's medical history asked. Kensi was propped up in a hospital bed with a sling on one arm and an ice pack pressed to her forehead. A run in with a suspect had left her with a golf ball sized bump and a sprained wrist.
"Yes," Kensi said with a sigh.
"Can you describe the previous incidents and when they occurred?"
"Actually, you'd probably save yourself a lot of time if you just looked up her medical record," Deeks pointed out from his seat off to the side. Nurse Sadie gave him a dirty look, but moved onto the next question.
"Any dizziness, headaches, blurred vision, nausea?"
"Just since I hit my head today." Nurse Sadie marked down Kensi's response.
"Are you currently pregnant or breast feeding?" she asked.
"No," Kensi said firmly.
"Well, we'll still do a urine test just to double check." Kensi rolled her eyes as the nurse handed her a plastic cup, but did as requested.
"So how are you really feeling?" Deeks asked a few minutes later when they were alone and in relative peace.
"My head feels like someone shoved it into a wall," she answered dryly. Seeing Deeks' worried expression, she added, "It's really not that bad."
"I'm sorry I didn't stop him."
"You were across town at a convention," Kensi pointed out.
"Yeah, but I still wish I was there. That's one thing I hate about spending more time at the bar; I have to depend on someone else to watch your back," he sighed.
"Well, I know one way you can make it up to me," Kensi said, tossing the ice pack to the side and patting the spot beside her.
Nurse Sadie came back, flinging the curtain aside, just as Kensi was trying to convince Deeks to take his shirt off.
"Agent Blye," she said, flicking them both a disapproving look. "The results came back from your urine test."
Kensi nodded, knowing what the results would be. Her playful mood diminished a little and she slid off Deeks' lap. He hastily stood umm looking a little embarrassed. The nurse looked at the clipboard in her hand again.
"You're pregnant."
"See, I told you‒wait, I'm what?" Kensi asked as Deeks sank back onto his chair in apparent shock.
"Did you just say‒we're pregnant?"
"Yes, Mr. Deeks, I did," Nurse Sadie confirmed. Deeks turned to Kensi, the first hints of a smile creasing his cheeks.
"I'm pregnant," Kensi whispered, sure she'd misheard. Deeks stood again and pulled her into his arms, making a noise that sounded like laughter mixed with a sob.
"I'm guessing this is a happy moment?" Nurse Sadie asked, managing a tiny smile.
"Yes." They said together, clinging to one another.
"I'll just give you a couple minutes alone." They didn't even notice her leave.
"I thought the doctor said we couldn't‒"
"She said it wasn't likely."
"I can't believe it," Deeks whispered, still clinging to her.
"Me either," Kensi agreed, the euphoria momentarily erasing any pain.
"How far along do you think you are?"
"I don't, maybe 2 or 3 months?" Kensi guessed, trying to think back to the last cycle she remembered.
"I guess it explains why you've been crankier than normal recently," Deeks teased.
"Hey!" She playfully pulled back, but he kept her tightly against his chest.
"I'll take all the crankiness you can throw at me as long as we have a healthy baby."
"We will. This time will be different," Kensi said firmly. She leaned up to kiss him, feeling lighter and more hopeful than she had in the longest time.
A/N: Have I rushed the time it takes to get results from a pregnancy test? Probably. But I could hardly make them wait a few hours.
Also, since this is the 250th fic posted to this story, I will be creating a Partners 2. That way this collection of stories won't become even more cumbersome to sift through that it already is. So I will be posting my tumblr stories un the title, Partners 2 if you wish to continue following them. Thanks for all the support and great comments!