Professor Layton Hit the Road Chapter 16
After driving across the Atlantic Ocean with the finesse of a drunken flamingo fused with a suspicious red bean, Sam and Max drifted against one of the many street signs of The Street, only to crash down near a large building.
« Well I'd say that my stay in Britain has improved my driving skills. Maybe next time we can go on a high way without exterminating 90% of the driving population. » Sam proudly commented.
« But that's the best part! » Max whined. « Tell that to my unpaid fines I owe the United States. » Sam shot back. « So why are we again? » Max asked. « I really do forget that you have the memory span of an armadillo which insides have been replaced with acid, but given how many times you slammed your head across hardened surfaces, I'd say that your memory has peak performance. » Sam commented.
« I'm a work in progress. Last night I even remembered that I needed to give water to our bush! » Max proudly declared. « Anyway, we're here because we need Momma Bosco cloning machine and Harry Moleman ability to speak to the spirits to resurrect a certain Mr. Barde which we will then interrogate with the same ferocity of South American police officers when looking for communists to see if he knows anything regarding a fiend disguising himself as a giant spectre and destroying a city which resembles a fog generator. » Sam explained.
«…Sam. Are you off your pills? » Max asked with a scolding tone. « As a matter of fact yes. Never say yes to drugs! » Sam responded proud. « I'm proud of you Sam. » Max commented. « Anyway, first stop: Bosco's Inconvenience's Store! » Sam exclaimed.
Luckily for the duo, the distance between the carnage they had just committed and Bosco's store wasn't much. Upon entering, the first thing that greeted them was a yelp of panic, coming from the counter.
It came from a bald, light black skinned man, who hid behind the counter. « Who's there!? Any more steps and you'll regret it! » he threatened the duo, while still hiding behind the counter. « Relax Bosco. It's us! Sam and Max! » Sam tried to reason with the man.
« You know, the psychotic rabbit, his dog friend, the guys that gave you all that money… » Max continued. « Oh thank goodness. I thought it was them! » Bosco came out from his hiding post. « What sort of infamous fiends are attempting to make your life a living hell with the basic crime of existing? » Sam frowned.
« This ain't no simple conspiracy! No mere terrorists from the Middle East! We're talking about Telepathic Agents Ruining Girls and Enterprises Notorious for Termination! » Bosco exclaimed in a panic.
Sam and Max looked at each other's confused. « Targent you fools! » Bosco exclaimed exasperated. « Who are this Targent fellows you seem to be afraid of? » Sam asked. « They are the biggest threat I've faced in my entire career! They put the US of A to shame in armament and they are masters of disguise! Only my trained eye has managed to recognize these unspeakable fiends! » Bosco explained.
As Bosco said that, two individuals entered the store. They had blue jackets and hats, with an incision writing "Totally not part of Targent let us in". « Gah! There's two of them! » Bosco exclaimed. « Nah. Their hats say that they're not part of this Targent. » Sam tried to calm Bosco.
« That's what they want you to think! But only I and Targent know about Targent! If they didn't work for them, how in the world do they know about the organization!? » Bosco exclaimed. « Truly, a masterful disguise! » Max said as he begun to blast off the two operatives.
« You see how dangerous Targent is! And the worst part is, they have even better disguises! » Bosco exclaimed. « Is there any way to confront this menace to society? » Sam asked worried. « Don't worry! I've figured out how to rule out Targent members without those hats! You just have to ask "Does the carpet match the grapes?", and they'll respond with "What does that have to do anything with anyone!?", and proceed to punch you in the face! » Bosco explained.
« We hope the best of luck to fight this menace of mankind. » Sam reassured the man. « Anyway, the coast seems clear. What can I get for you boys? » Bosco, having calmed down slightly, asked.
« We're actually here to see your mother. We need her cloning machine to create the clone of a certain Mr. Barde after we summon his spirit with the help of Harry Moleman! » Sam explained.
« Here to see momma? She's upstairs cooking up some weird new invention to spread feminism or something. Has helped a bit against these Targent guys. » Bosco responded. « Thanks Bosco! Enjoy another day in which you miraculously don't suffer a heart attack! » Sam thanked the man.
« Wait! Before you go, I've something interesting for you two! The latest in the BoscoTech equipment! » Bosco halted the duo. « What item you seem to be so eager to sell us? » Sam asked. « Why, it's no other than the Anti Robot Personnel Automatic Object Trower! With one single throw, it's capable of eliminating any kind of sentient A.I. equipped with any kind of armour! » Bosco presented his product.
« Convenient! » Max exclaimed. « And what is the price for this peculiar item? » Sam asked. « I'd say…. about 100.000 dollars. » Bosco said. « WHAT!? 100.000 bucks!? That's more money than I've ever seen in my entire life! And my previous one too! » Max exclaimed.
« Take it or leave it. I need money to protect myself, man! » Bosco shot back. « Not to worry, little buddy. I have an idea. Excuse us for a second. » Sam said, as he and Max exited the building.
Seconds later they returned alongside a clearly controlled fat man with a lot of cash. « Well isn't this convenient! This guy appearing out of nowhere said that he's willing to pay for the object thrower! » Sam exclaimed.
« I always dreamed of spending 100.000 dollars for others. » the fat man cheerfully said, before handing the money. « Well they DO seem legit. All right, you got yourself an Anti-Robot Personnel Automatic Object Trower! » Bosco exclaimed.
« I knew that boar toy was gonna come out handy eventually! » Sam whispered to Max. « Here you go boys! Have fun destroying stuff! » Bosco said as he handed the Anti-Robot Personnel Automatic Object Trower, the product being a bit disappointing for the name and price.
« This is just a Dutch catapult kit. » Sam complained. « Wait, a catapult? How the hell is this thing automatic!? » Max protested. « Pull the rope fast enough and it's automatic! » Bosco responded.
« Well we're tempted to say this is a scam, but we love you too much to care and we didn't use our own money. » Sam then said. « Anyway, take the door behind the counter to see my momma. No one except myself is allowed inside this holy ground, but for today I'll make an exception. » Bosco then said.
« Thanks Bosco. » Sam thanked the man. « Good luck resurrecting this Barde guy! Now if you excuse me, I need to check the surrounding for any other Targent agents! » Bosco said, before checking the surrounding.
After the duo had entered the magic counter and begun climbing the stairs for the second floor, they finally found Momma Bosco door, to which they knocked a couple of times with the finesse of a drunken donkey.
Opening the door was a tall, slim woman with a large afro and a scientist coat. « Look, if you boys think you can bother people all day for the sake of selling cheap product, I say- » she ranted angrily, before realizing who she was talking to.
« Oh, Sam! Max! it has been a hell of a while, hasn't it? » the woman calmed down and greeted the two. « Hey Momma Bosco! How's your mission in exterminating patriarchy and replacing it with pure feminism? » Sam greeted the woman.
« Wow, easy there sugar! I don't have any genocidal intentions towards the opposite sex! I only want women to be treated equally. Notice that I say equally. I don't want the world to turn into a dystopian light novel written by a crappy Japanese writer molesting Korean girls! » Momma Bosco rose her hands in mock defeat.
« Good, because if I'm sent in an all-girls academy, I'm NOT acting the dense part with the ladies! » Max frowned angrily. « But Max! You don't even like girls! » Sam noted. « That's what I just said! Duh! » Max shot back.
« Anyway, what can I do for you boys? » Momma Bosco asked. « We were here for your cloning machine. » Sam responded. « Urgh. I already told you guys. They are all been built under the law conditions and are 100% safe. » Momma Bosco said annoyed.
« Which is why we're here! They're supposed to be built illegally and being highly dangerous! » Max scolded the woman. « Quiet, bonehead. We need the cloning machine to resurrect a guy and interrogating him regarding a mystery in the largest fog generator in the world! » Sam interrupted Max.
« I don't really know it's going to work. Even if we had 100% of the DNA of the person we intend to resurrect, they wouldn't act like themselves. I mean, remember what happened last time with you, Sam! » Momma Bosco warned the two.
« Which is why we're bringing Harry Moleman along! He'll summon Mr. Barde, the guy we're trying to resurrect, and we'll plunge that sucker in the clone we just made with your cloning machine! » Sam explained his fiendish plan.
« Normally I would say that you're out of your mind, but honestly this isn't even the weirdest thing I've heard since lunch! And I didn't even have lunch yet! » Momma Bosco exclaimed. « So, can we use the cloning machine? » Max asked.
« As long as I tag along. Without the lab tech, the babymaker is going to be much harder to use, and without a trained individual there might be a nuclear explosion! » Momma Bosco said. « Oh, I've got to see that! » Max said in glee.
« You can't, Max. There will be a nuclear explosion! » Sam warned his rabbit friend. « That's why you gotta record it for me! Duh! » Max responded slightly annoyed.
If you want to give me any suggestions for quotes and scenarios, just tell me in the reviews. I will also include characters both from the Sam and Max universe (Hit the Road, animated Series Telltale Episodes), alongside the universes of the chumps who participated in the Poker Night at the Inventory 1 and 2. Just tell me when you want them introduced!
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See you on the next chapter!