Okay so it wasn't posted in a couple of days, but not as long as last time. This is the chapter causing my delay, hopefully after this things can run more smoothly. The downside is that we now have a couple of horses which are taking up a lot of time, but I will try and keep it going.

x X x

Safe House, Cairns

1747 Hrs First Dog Watch

With everything else stripped away and now just the two of them, the atmosphere was charged. They both knew what needed to happen but neither were ready to start. Having taken his hand both stood staring uneasily at each other for several minutes. Finally Grace withdrew her hand and turned away, moving to the veranda. At first he let her go, but then followed her.

"Grace."

The one word from his mouth made her tense. Now there were no distractions she had to tell him what happened and why his daughter had been kept from him. She felt she knew him well enough to know what his reaction would be and it was going to be worse than his initial reaction on Hammersley when they had first talked. He was good at dealing with the job at hand and avoiding the elephant in the room for the most part. She had schooled herself to ensure that their interactions were professional when in the eyes of the crew, but now there were no excuses. There were no distractions, it was time for everything to come out in the open, but where did she start?

She could feel him standing behind her, almost sensing his eyes boring into her back. She was surprised a little that he hadn't had more to say to press her, but his imposing form was enough to do that on its own. She felt his hand wrap around her wrist and he turned her to face him. His other hand moving to cup her face, his thumb grazing her cheek. "They say the beginning is a good place to start."

After a moment she nodded and taking hold of his hand she lowered it from her face. It was awkward; unnatural. Sitting and talking didn't seem the right thing but neither did anything else. It was like she had bottled it all up for so long that now she had the freedom to tell the story the words wouldn't come. The best solution was for it all to come out naturally over time, but with a young child in the mix that wasn't going to happen. This situation had been contrived, but now they were here it was harder than she expected.

Once again breaking away from him, freeing herself of their physical contact she turned back and stared down the tree lined path to the beach, then leaning on the balustrade she took a deep breath.

"It all happened after our last R&R. When I returned, my promotion came through. I was expecting my new orders to follow. In the meantime I was reassigned to the refugee camp to help out at the clinic, mostly doing vaccinations, but we had the odd other case. I'd been there about a week when it happened."

She heard him shuffle and then he joined her, taking her hand again as it rested on the rail. Silence reined again for several minutes, finally she broke their contact again, he was being sweet and supportive, but she couldn't deal with that and talk at the same time. "I'm sorry, I know you're trying to help, but I can't deal with this. Apart from giving my statement back in the beginning I've not been allowed to talk about what happened and now they've flicked the switch and the truth can come out I'm not even sure what's real anymore. It's all such a jumble." She turned around leaning against the rail, looking back at the house.

The atmosphere was suffocating, as much by their failing attempt at conversation as the heat of the evening. She wanted to be able to have everything just trip off her tongue, tell him all the gory details of what he wanted to know, but it wasn't happening. Having to keep everything secret in the last three years had made it difficult to trust anyone sometimes even her handlers. Now, it had her second guessing his motives, which at some point was not going to bode well.

He didn't move, he appeared to remain calm, "tell me about Millie." He was calm, almost sympathetic, a side of him she hadn't expected.

Their daughter was hopefully a subject she could talk about with some authority, "it happened the last time we were together in Cyprus. I didn't know until I was in Witsec. At first I thought I'd missed my period because of the stress. By the time Dee, Agent Morris, became my handler and encouraged me to get tested it was too late to say anything to you. I'd been told not to contact anyone from my old life. I was almost tracked two or three times. They moved me to Adelaide when I was almost four months in and I decided I had to make the best of it for my health and the baby's and worry about everything else later."

He wanted to ask questions, to probe for the full story, but while she was talking it was better than nothing. He let her continue.

"By the time she was born I'd been moved again and she was actually born in Canberra, we thought I was going to be able to testify shortly after, but Vince escaped custody and went on the run. She was only a few weeks old when I was moved to Alice Springs, and in the last 2 years we've been moved a further 3 times. The last place was the longest, we were almost a year in a small town in the south of Western Australia where I worked in the hospital emergency room, mainly dealing with miners and their families."

"Millie was my lifeline, she was the only thing apart from a couple of photos that I was allowed to keep of my old life. She was registered under her real name, but of course we had to change it and there were long discussions about her future should anything happen to me. There was always a risk that if anything happened she would go to my family, but Dee helped to get it set up for you to be told. She was the only one of my protection team that knew about you."

Having spent a couple of minutes giving him essentially no information whatsoever she was expecting some sort of reaction.

"What did you call her?"

"Amelia … actually its Charlotte Amelia Mulholland, I remember you talking about your grandmother and wanted our daughter to have some connection to you. Of course she had to have it adapted a bit so she became Millie with whatever surname I was using at the time."

For a moment Dutchy thought of his grandma Lottie and how much she would love to meet her namesake, but for now it was way too soon to be thinking of bringing his family into the new one he had just discovered. Everyone needed time to adjust. His family could be a bit full on, if he were to take Grace home his mother and Grandma Lottie would be asking when they were getting married and having more kids while doting on the little girl he never knew he had until a few days before. He definitely needed time to adjust and get to know her first as well as figuring out what the future held for him and her mother.

"Dylan?" her voice broke through the thoughts swirling in his head and he looked over to see her looking at him. She appeared to look concerned.

"Sorry, just thinking about Grandma Lottie and how she would love to meet Millie, and you." He answered. "But don't worry, I won't inflict my family on you until you're ready."

"It's going to be strange for a while I guess, I've been living in the real world, but at the same time kind of in a bubble. I haven't even spoken to my family since the Gulf, they've only just been told I'm alive. It's going to be so strange seeing them again and introducing Millie, "she paused as she studied his expression, "and you if you want." There was another pause the only sounds were the birds flying overhead, even the sea was too far distant to be heard, the temperature hung like a heavy blanket around them, almost stifling them. She wasn't used to the silent brooding Dylan, in Cyprus when they met during R&R he was fun, carefree and talkative. Her absence had damaged him too. "Honestly, I don't know how it's all going to work. I guess that's what the next few weeks are all about."

Both fell silent for a couple of minutes and she turned to stare at the beach through the tree lined path, catching a glimpse of Dee and Millie paddling along the water's edge. Finally Dutchy asked the question that had most been on his mind since she had shown up on the ship.

"What happened in the Gulf?" He tried to sound caring but casual, gently trying to tease the information from her rather than demanding.

She took a deep breath, there was no going back now he deserved to know the whole sorry tale. "You know I had been working in the refugee clinic on and off during my posting, but after leaving Cyprus I was sent over to fill in for a sick colleague, Vince and his team were our civilian contract security for this rotation, I hadn't seen them before, but it turned out their team had changed since my last visit. There was something off about them from the first time we met, but it took a while to figure it out. Part of my job was to check the inventory daily and ensure supplies were ordered. Besides the vaccines we held a few other drugs for emergency use. After a few days I realised that the stocks were depleting on days when they shouldn't have. There was nothing in the logs and it was surprising as only 2 of the doctors besides me had keys to the narcotic boxes. Near the end of my assignment I was dealing with an emergency case that had come in when I saw Vince come in dressed in scrubs, he went straight for what we called the heavy drugs box, he didn't even seem to care who saw him, he went straight for it and opened it, took out about 3-4 boxes of each drug and then locked it and walked away. Turnover in the camp was pretty high, so most people wouldn't think twice about it, especially if they hadn't met him, they'd just think he's another doctor."

As she paused he had to ask the obvious question, "What sort of drugs are we talking here?"

"Mostly your class A's morphine, anaesthetics, other similar pain killers and drugs for surgery. Those that addicts like."

"What did you do?"

"I reported him to the doctor in charge." She answered in an infuriated manner.

"I gather from that tone that you weren't impressed with his response."

"Far from it, he implied I was imagining things and didn't know what I was talking about."

He knew enough about her that the doctor's attitude would have pissed her off. "I bet that didn't stop you."

"No, I reported it to my CO when I got back to the ship. He told me to carry on as usual, not say anything he would follow up."

"Did he?"

"Yeah, I didn't know what was happening but the following week I was sent back to the clinic to help out again, I couldn't help but keep watch, same thing happened, this time the doctor in charge saw it too and realised he'd made a massive error when I'd told him. This time he went straight for Vince, challenging him. All hell broke loose, Vince said that the other doctor had asked him to bring stuff to him out in the camp. We knew this wouldn't be the case, one of the doctors with a key would always be in the clinic and they would supply against a written request and it would be one of the medical staff who would be the messenger. Also the key holders would only dispense drugs with a witness present, usually another member of the medical team. Both had to sign the logs."

She paused, Dutchy sensed the tension in her body language as she recounted the story, probably the first time in 3 years she had been able to do so. "What happened?"

"Vince, must have realised the game was up, he pulled his pistol and started threatening the doctor, there were about a dozen staff and patients around at the time. I was at the back of the group. I managed to get a few people out in the initial madness, but the noise must have alerted the rest of his crew, 6 armed security guards with rifles charged in and almost everyone was corralled together. The doctor tried to cool the situation down, I'd managed to crawl under one of the beds and was hidden by sheets all around, I guess I hoped to be able to do something. After about an hour Vince let a couple of the junior nursing staff take out the most critical patients. The bed I was under had no patient so I was left alone. The staff were tied together with zip ties, their hands behind their back. Then Vince and two of his henchmen huddled for a while, looked like they were trying to decide what to do. They sent the rest of the security team back to work and then began drawing up syringes, first they went to the patients and just pulled out all their IVs, any that had drainage tubes from surgery they went too. I was stuck, if I showed myself and tried to stop them I'd just be tied up with the staff or shot on sight, I couldn't get to the door without being seen, I just had to wait it out."

She stopped again, the memories clearly flooding back. Tears appeared in her eyes, he could see she was beginning to struggle. "Grace you don't have to continue, I get the idea."

"No you need to know, I have to tell you, you have to understand what-" he pressed his finger to her lips and cut her off.

"Sh, I get that it was ugly, that you had no control, but you did what you had to do to survive."

She shook off his finger, "But I watched and did nothing while they were all killed!"

He wrapped one arm around her and cupped her cheek, feeling the tension in her. "Sometimes in our line of work it's what we have to do, it's not pleasant or right, but if you'd been found, they would have killed you too, you wouldn't be here fighting for justice for those who died and we wouldn't have Millie. Things happen for a reason and you've still got your life to live and achieve something."

"But I did nothing," she protested.

"But you did, you got out alive, you spoke up and told everyone what really happened."

"You don't get it, I did nothing, I watched what happened and I let it, I didn't try to stop it."

Her reaction was understandable but also irrational, but other than trying to reassure her it was out of her control there wasn't much he could do about it, he didn't know what else to say to her. The idea that she had lived with the guilt for 3 years brought back memories of his own about losing his boarding officer and how he felt. Kate had been the one to finally get through to him and make him realise that he had played a bigger part in the overall picture. Maybe now he could somehow help her to come to terms with everything and move on.

He gently reached out and rested his hand on her elbow, drawing her closer until he could wrap his arms around her and her head was resting on his shoulder. "He's a nasty piece of work. You will see him behind bars where he belongs and I'll be right there with you. You're not on your own anymore."

She pulled away from him again. She needed to finish the story. "I was the only one to walk away from the massacre, the other staff who were let go were killed in a bombing the following day. Vince realised that word had got out, he was cleaning up."

"If everyone who could ID him was dead how did he know about you?"

"I don't know, I'm not sure the Feds do either, as soon as they had killed everyone in the tent they grabbed the keys and the drug box and left. Once they were out of the tent I came out, I checked everyone," she paused, the memory coming back, "the blood, they were all dead. I realised if Vince saw me again the same would happen to me, it was nearly dark. I waited about an hour, grabbed an emergency ration pack we kept in the tent and some blankets and slipped into the desert. I managed to stay concealed until I heard the bombing. I was making my way back to the camp when helicopters began arriving from the ships. I knew one of the pilots, he'd been told to keep a look out for me. I was bundled aboard and taken back to the ship. After a debrief from my boss I was put on ship duty while they decided what to do."

"How did you end up out on our boat?"

"Short staffed. The active crew had been on R&R and came back with a stomach bug. My boss had just given me my stripe when the call came in. He told me to take a team and go. I didn't know it was your patrol until I saw you. I also didn't know that it would be the last time I would see you." She paused. "I still naively thought I would give evidence and go back to work and see you as planned back here."

"Why didn't you?"

"When I got back with your team, you were all checked over and sent to debrief. At the same time another attack had happened and a sailor was badly injured. We patched him up and it was decided to medivac him to a full hospital, right before take-off I was told to pack my bag, I was being sent home. Vince and his crew were still thought to be in the area, so they thought I would be safer; 23 people had already been killed by his gang and I was an eye witness to why. In less than 10 minutes we were in the air. I've got used to packing fast in the last 3 years, actually I keep a bag permanently packed just in case, it has all my important papers, copies of the few photos I'm allowed and some clothes for me and Millie."

Silence fell between them again for a few minutes. She struggled to put the words together to tell him the final piece.

"The helo crash? Was it real?" He finally asked.

Unable to speak, she nodded. "We diverted once airborne to land on a US carrier, I was pulled off and put on a departing transport to Germany. From there I was given a US escort to San Francisco and then a flight to Sydney. Word was getting out about the massacre and bombing, the US and British lost people too, so they agreed to help get me home. I was whisked off to debrief when I got home. It was another three weeks before I knew that the helicopter I had left Newcastle on had ditched en-route to Cyprus, the official story is engine failure, the truth is that one of the engineers was paid heavily to tamper with the wiring."

After a brief silence she turned to look at him. "I'm sorry, I never wanted anything like this to happen. I want Vince to pay for the destruction he's caused. If I don't I'll be dead anyway to make sure I don't testify."

"So why take you, why not just kill you the other night?" It was something that had puzzled him since they had found her on the island.

"He wanted revenge, he figured if I just disappeared he could keep me as his plaything, he thought he would drag out his revenge. Once you found us on the island he realised the Navy would never let this go. I was too big a risk, so he left me for the Crocs. I'm just glad that you had all picked up the trail and found me."

"Me too. I don't think I could cope with losing you twice. Just one question though, if you were on the helo and your name was released why did he still come after you?"

"Because when he was arrested and charged and moved back to Sydney he realised there was a loose end, if he was being charged and there were no witnesses he thought he should have got off. Lack of evidence or something, so he had his people make enquiries. For a long time he didn't know that it was me, until he saw me in Adelaide. It was a pure fluke. I was finishing my degree at the university, he was passing through and we saw each other on a street corner. I was moved that night and resettled in Alice Springs."

She didn't know now what else to say. There were probably other details which would come out at the court case or in conversation, but for now he knew most of it. He was silent. She wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad one, she wasn't used to him being so silent, or at least this was a side of him she hadn't seen in the Gulf.

"I'm sorry, I stuffed us up."

He stayed quiet, she looked at him for some reassurance, but it appeared he was struggling to take it all in. "You need time to think about everything. If you want to go I understand, but I'd like you to stay in touch, for Millie."

When he still didn't speak, she rested her hand on his arm and he gave a brief glance in her direction. She could see a myriad of emotions in his eyes, or at least felt she could. "I'll give you some time. Agent Morris needs to leave, I'll go relieve her of Millie she needs dinner before bed."

She squeezed his arm and walked away, not knowing what she would find when she got back.

Agent Morris looked up as she approached. "How did it go?"

"He knows most of it now. I don't know what will happen. He's closed off."

"I wouldn't worry, give him time to process what you've said. It's the first time you've properly ben able to discuss everything with anyone outside my team or your chain of command."

"I know I've loaded him up with a lot in the last month and I won't blame him if he wants to walk away. I just hope that he will stay in touch for Millie's sake. I'd like her to know her father."

"I've watched him with her, I don't think that's likely to happen."

"I hope you're right. Dee I know you have to go, I'll take Millie now. We'll have a quiet night and I'll see you tomorrow."

"Actually, I've decided to give you a break. I'll see if Dr Sheldrake can call on you again. Give you a chance to process how things went and where you go from here."

"I'd rather not. I'd like to spend the day with Millie and take her out somewhere."

"Alright, but if you change your mind you know how to reach me."

X X X

After Grace left him on the veranda, he had watched her go and saw her talking to Agent Morris. As he watched he had a million thoughts and memories swirling through his head.

When he saw the federal agent begin walking back towards the house he decided to make himself scarce and headed for the garage, not that it deterred her from trying to speak to him.

She found him a moment after he first heard her call, he was pleased she didn't actually come down the stairs to join him though. "Dylan, I just wanted to check in before I go. I realise you won't want to talk, but we can arrange for you to see Dr Sheldrake if you want. I recommend it, there's a lot of information for you to process. I'll be going now, we'll see you the day after tomorrow. Grace will fill you in on the details."

"Okay," he acknowledged, happy that she didn't expect more chat from him. He waited until he heard her footsteps move across the upstairs and the outer door bang, then he headed back upstairs.

When Grace returned from the beach with Millie he was cooking dinner. He figured that it was getting late and their daughter would need feeding and putting to bed. Beyond that he had no idea what the evening had in store.

I'm not entirely happy with this chapter, but I have to draw the line somewhere. Now everything is out in the open, they have to work through the fall out and decide what happen's next.

posted:10Jun21