3

Absent

"The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound"

– Florence Welsch

Snape felt dreadful. His whole body was tense, it ached from head-to-toe, and he had yet to Apparate out of Malfoy Manner. He had excused himself to use one of the grand bathrooms that was attached to the dining room. He splashed cold water over his face, feeling the weight of the world upon his shoulders; he wished for nothing more than the relief of his own bed and a bottle of Fire Whiskey in his hand, but he could not squander the time to indulge on his own desire now.

He took a deep breath and stared at his own reflection in the ornate gold mirror, he sneered and turned away. Approaching the door, ready to turn the handle, he heard footsteps and quiet whispers. He pressed his ear against the door and began to listen. He could distinguish who the footsteps belonged to with ease: Bellatrix Lestrange and her sister, Narcissa.

Bellatrix was full of fury and hellfire, her long, dark hair bounced in front of her face.

"Wasted!" She muttered under her breath, her eyes darkening with anger. Narcissa had heard her sister but chose to ignore her mutterings, knowing full well with whom she was referring her to. Narcissa held her head high, her angular nose snubbed upwards, she was in desperate need to shake off her sister and find her husband. She also needed nothing more than a large bottle of wine.

"The dirty Half-Blood wasted his opportunity completely… he has always been a coward. Our gracious Lord presented him with the ultimate prize!" Bellatrix hissed. "I would not have taken his gift with such disrespect – I would have made the bitch suffer, beg for her pathetic existence! How dare he waste such an opportunity, Cissy, I would have had such fun with her."

Narcissa had heard enough by now, she hated how her sister could be so malicious and cruel. She turned to face her sister, one of her eyebrows slightly raised (almost and exact image of how Snape would look at Bellatrix).

"Bella, please—"

Just as Narcissa was about to say more, her husband stepped out from a darkened doorway, looking dishevelled but furious. He had heard every word that had spewed from Bellatrix's mouth and was not pleased. His steel grey eyes had clouded over, as if a storm was brewing within them.

"I suggest you silence yourself, Bellatrix, you are in my home, and I will not tolerate your incessant noise." Lucius calmly reprimanded her. "Narcissa, have you seen Severus?" he asked with concern, his eyes showing his true depth of pain and they were heavy with exhaustion.

Narcissa smiled, she rushed over to her husband and took his hand. She sensed his distressed manner, carefully placing a kiss upon his cheek to show him her support.

"I believe he is still around, my love— perhaps you should head to your study, and I will look for him?"

Lucius squeezed her hand, before he placed a soft kiss on her cheek to denote that he was thankful. He gracefully slipped away as quietly as he appeared. Bellatrix, on the other hand, wore a scowl much like a petulant toddler. Narcissa found it rather humorous that her sister often resembled a three-year-old, she tried her best to not laugh at her scowl and left Bellatrix stood dumbfound and sulking. She had little patience for her sister's whining ways.

Severus stood back from the bathroom door, he had to hold back a snigger until he was sure that Bellatrix had moved on. Once Severus had heard her scurry away, he allowed a soft snigger to escape. He heard the hallway door slam, clearly this was Bellatrix's way of signalling her annoyance with the whole situation. Severus, now certain he was alone, then prized the door open and headed in the direction he believed Narcissa to be.

Narcissa looked slightly flustered as she set her eyes upon Snape, she looked as though she had just come from the kitchen. Now, she was heading up the helical staircase that descended off from the dining room hallway with a large glass of red wine in one hand and a glass of Fire Whiskey in the other. Severus followed her up the curved staircase; they met one another at the peak point of the landing. Jutting off to the left was a small alcove with two seats opposite one another and a small table. Severus could sense that Narcissa was not herself, even as she played the gracious hostess. She placed the Fire Whiskey closest to him and offered Severus a seat with a hand that was shaking. Severus sat opposite the eloquent woman and gifted her a rare smile. The corners of his lips barely twitched, an act that would go unrecognised by most, but that was sincerely appreciated by the unsettled witch before him.

"I have been looking for you, Severus," Narcissa announced, her breathing had begun to accelerate, as though she could not take in any air. She reached for her wineglass and began to gulp it down to calm her nerves. She was still shaking severely but seemed to have recovered some of her decorum. "Please, drink!" She encouraged him.

Oh, Cissa! Perhaps downing your drink is not the correct way to calm yourself, Severus thought to himself.

Narcissa looked at him with a questioning smirk, as if she knew what he had been thinking. Severus picked up his glass and had to hide a smile from his features. He loved how Narcissa had always paid attention to the finer details, his Fire Whiskey had precisely three ice cubes, just the way he liked it. He sipped at his drink slowly which was a paradoxical way to how Narcissa was gulping down her own. Her glass was empty within moments.

"Thank you for the drink, Cissa. You always know." He twitched his lips into another smile, one which seemed to bring a shade of pink to Narcissa's cheeks. 'Cissa' was a nickname Severus used occasionally for Narcissa; it was very private and personal to them both. She returned his smile in a shy manner, one of her delicate hands came up to twirl a strand of her hair that had fallen. Both seemed to sit in a comfortable silence for a few moments, uncertain of what to say.

Narcissa broke the silence between them both by speaking loftily into the open air, "Teeny, please refill my glass."

A crack could be heard just as a very small, sweet looking house elf appeared in front of Narcissa. Teeny had large blue eyes and was dressed in a peach-coloured dress that looked as if it had belonged to Victorian China doll. Teeny held up a bottle of incredibly expensive-looking red wine to Narcissa.

"Teeny is here to please Mistress Lady Malfoy, I am sorries I took so long, Mistress Lady Malfoy, I was tryings to find you a nice bottle. Only the best for you…not the cheap stuffs that we gives to people we not like, especially that nasty Carrow lady and dat tacky Sapphire Yaxley." Teeny batted her blue eyes in the hope she had pleased her Mistress and knelt at Narcissa's feet. Severus began to snicker at Teeny's words, he was rather impressed with her boldness; it was not in a house elf's nature to show disrespect to witches and wizards. Narcissa's eyes softened, crinkling at the corners with laughter whilst she affectionately stroked the elf's head.

"Now, now, Teeny, we currently have an esteemed guest with us." Narcissa said with an amused glint in her eyes as she looked from the elf to Severus. Snape had a large smirk upon his face, he really was enjoying himself too much. Teeny's eyes began to fill with panic as she stared at Snape, she scrambled to his side and bent to kiss his shoe. Severus tried not to flinch, he felt uncomfortable at the notion of Teeny acting in this manner, as he simply viewed the general treatment of house elves as being unnecessarily barbaric and cruel.

"Hello to Master Professor Snape, I'm sorry – we…we never give you cheap stuffs. Only the very best for you, always the best for Mistress Lady Malfoy's dear friend, no cheap stuffs!"

"Thank you for the clarification, Teeny, leave the rest of the bottle. Off you go now, dear. Go and rest," Narcissa suggested.

Severus continued to chuckle as Teeny clicked her fingers and disappeared into thin air. He gazed at Narcissa with a deep level of appreciation, he felt honoured to see a glimpse of who Narcissa truly was behind her high, guarded walls. Severus had known Narcissa for over twenty years, but it had not been often she allowed anyone to see the true Narcissa. Only rare moments like this reminded Snape of how fortunate he was.

"I often forget what a pleasure Teeny can be!" Severus chuckled.

"She is definitely an experience—she does speak a little too much though. Very little discretion is applied once she trusts the people she is around." Narcissa replied, giggling with a fondness clearly thinking of the little elf. Snape observed Narcissa's soft, blue eyes with more scrutiny: he could see a sadness beginning to settle. He sat himself up completely straight, his back stiffening.

"Narcissa, can I be perfectly candid—?"

Narcissa nodded as a response and waited for Severus to continue, "–you seem overwhelmed, are you okay?"

The blonde witch suddenly became anxious and looked over her shoulder to see if they were alone. They were. She began to lose some of her well-maintained composure, her whole body began to shake. Severus whispered Muffliato to ensure they had some level of privacy, furthermore he used his hand to signal for her to carry on.

"Not overly. May I be truthful?" She questioned. Severus sat stoically but nodded his head. "What shall I do? Lucius has had his wand torn from him— how is he going to cope?" Tears began to fall from her eyes, she had been composed and calm until left alone with her thoughts for a few moments. "What can I do?" She began to sob uncontrollably now. "My dear Draco has nothing either…"

"Oh, Cissa, take a deep breath and stop for a moment," Severus said empathetically. He felt his heart soften slightly, in all his twenty years of knowing Narcissa he had only seen her completely lose her composure thrice; she was nearly as well-guarded as Snape. The first time Narcissa had completely broke down was when her husband, Lucius, was sent to Azkaban during the first war, nothing shy of 16 years later, he was incarcerated once again and Narcissa reacted similarly. The last time he saw Narcissa this upset was when Draco was assigned to kill Dumbledore a year prior. Each time Narcissa had come to Severus to ask for his help and he had obliged, doing his best to aid her.

Once again Severus offered Narcissa his help by saying, "I will check on Lucius' welfare to unburden you marginally. He will struggle, but he is strong and will recover—" he paused briefly to extend a handkerchief from his pocket to Narcissa. Snape's pale hand outstretched over the table, Narcissa seemed to stare at his hand for a second before accepting his offer. She brushed her hand over his for a moment, her gaze fixed upon his. Severus allowed a small smile to rest upon his lips, his fingers grazed the palm of her hand and began to trace circles onto her skin. Narcissa looked longingly, the walls of the vast fortress in her mind, created to protect herself and keep the rest of the world out, began to crumble. In that moment, he came to his senses and retracked his hand, bringing it back to his side, feeling a sharp pang of regret and guilt for breaking their connection at a time when Narcissa needed it most.

"You best check to see Draco is fine." Severus suggested to her.

Narcissa used the white handkerchief to dab at her eyes, the corner of the handkerchief crumpled over and revealed the initials 'SS'. She then placed the handkerchief into her robe pocket.

"You are correct," Narcissa concurred and stood to her feet, she had already regained her composure. Clearly her mothering instincts had taken a hold of her, and she was about to check on her son. She began to walk away, before realising she had not thanked Severus.

"Thank you, Severus." She said in a matter-of-a-fact tone.

Severus gave her a small nod. He rose from the chair to his feet, with poise, and made his way down the staircase. He was aware that the manor had quietened considerably, he presumed all the straggling Death Eaters should have now left, meaning he would be less likely to bump into another as he headed to Malfoy's study.

Severus rasped his knuckles against the dark stain, oak door and waited for Lucius to call him through. Severus heard aclunk behind the door – he presumed the sound was glass smashing against the floor.

"Enter," said a gravelly voice.

Severus entered, his eyes settling on his dear friend, he seemed even more withdrawn than when he had laid eyes on him at the dining table earlier this evening. Severus felt an enormous amount of sympathy for Lucius, the poor man seemed to be the colour of porcelain in the pale candlelight; his grey eyes were bloodshot and glazed over.

The room itself, normally pristine and well-kept looked as though it had been ransacked. Books were strewn all over the floor rather than being held in the ebony bookshelves. Severus had always admired Lucius' bookshelves, they covered the wall completely, similar to those in the Hogwarts' library. Severus dreamed of owning a lot of the rare Dark Arts books that were upon the shelves, but he could never afford them.

The marble fireplace, the colour of the sky at midnight, was covered in soot and ash, the fire burning low cast an orange glow into the room. Severus' eyes lowered, he noticed that the delicate-looking carriage clock with two cherubs attached either side had fallen from its usual spot on the mantlepiece; it was completely ruined.

Without much thought, Severus pulled out his wand from the sheath inside his sleeve and pointed it at the broken clock.

"Reparo!" He exclaimed.

Severus watched as the broken shards pieced themselves together and became whole. He sighed with relief and turned his attention towards Lucius, who was stood staring into the fire, a large glass of Fire Whiskey in hand.

"Lucius," Severus crooned ever-so-softly, as if addressing a small child.

Lucius took a moment to respond, he looked completely lost as he met Severus' dark eyes and brought the drink up to his lips, he then proceeded to down the whole content of the glass. He shuffled over to the liquor cabinet that was housed close to the fireplace, he took out a crystal decanter set that lay on a silver tray. He courteously poured two tumblers to the brim. He picked them up, he lay his hand out towards Severus to pass it to him. Severus accepted tumbler. His eyes darting to look at how close they stood to one another, he retreated a step. Lucius responded by taking two steps forward and trying to grab Severus' hand. Severus took a deep breath, aware that Lucius was feeling emotionally vulnerable at present and was uncertain on how to respond to him appropriately.

"Sev," Lucius pleaded gently.

Severus stayed silent, he sipped at his whiskey.

"Sev—please. I need you!"

Severus took another sip of his drink to buy him another moment. He saw how desperation had set into the blue eyes he knew so well; he placed his drink onto the coffee table beside him. He carefully snaked an arm around Lucius' waist, pulled him close to his chest, still feeling a little uncomfortable. He brought his free hand forward and began to gently rub the man's back in a comforting manner. Severus was a few inches taller than Lucius, and this showed when the fair-haired man settled his head on Severus' shoulder. Lucius relinquished all control over his emotions and began to silently weep into Severus' frock coat, his hands desperately pulling at a few of the many buttons.

Severus looked down at the man in his arms, he used the pad of his thumb to wipe away a few of Lucius' tears. Severus sensed that Lucius would be more comfortable on the sofa. He stepped back and took Lucius' hand in his own, he led him to the plush sofa. Severus sat himself on the cushions and tugged Lucius' hand.

"Come sit, Lu," Severus commanded.

Lucius looked down and followed suit, he was desperate to be back in Severus' arms. The blonde man lay his head in the crook of the other man's arm and curled his legs under himself, his hand coming back to caress Severus' buttons.

His head tilted up, and he murmured, "I feel hollow."

Severus felt Lucius' despair instantly, his heart ached for his friend; he had already perceived this outcome. Lucius had always relied on his wand for his strength, he even held it as a huge part of his masculinity, the core of his very identity since he had first been given it at his 10th birthday. His mother, Emmeline Malfoy, had wanted him to receive his wand earlier than most, as she believed he was entitled to that because he was Malfoy.

Lucius nestled himself into Severus' arms, his head falling completely against his chest and his tears finally began to roll down his cheeks. He hid his face into Severus' frock coat, in the hope that he would not see him cry. Severus was aware the man in his arms was crying and cradled his head, he stroked his hair affectionately, aware that Lucius needed that.

Fragility was not a gift bestowed to many from Lucius' point of view, but it was one he shared with Severus. It reminded Severus of a similar incident that had happen years prior, when he and Malfoy were at school together.

Malfoy and Snape had kindled a relationship when at Hogwarts, Lucius had taken the younger man under his wing and protected him. They learned from one another; Severus learnt to tap into his confidence and use it with pride, especially in an academic sense where he excelled. Malfoy had learnt that blood-status was truly irrelevant to the magical world, he bore no relevance to anything other than family ties.

Lucius had sensed that the young Severus had been through unspeakable trauma in his early life. Although Lucius had tried to fervently study to use Legilimency since he had first read about it at the tender age of 9; he had been unable to fully comprehend the subject because the skill was often passed down through genetics, and as far as he understood, neither of his parents were able to do it. But he did seem to be a mild empath: able to sense and experience the emotions of those around him and understand complexity of life.

When Lucius had first laid eyes on a lanky, seemingly malnourished dark-haired boy in 1971, he instantly knew how traumatised the boy was. He could feel his pain and hatred towards the world around him, the confusion that lay at his heart over his place in the world and the boy was only 11. He had sat on the brown stool that every Hogwarts student had sat on before him, his greasy hair long and covering his face, a wall in which he could hide himself behind. When the Sorting Hat took its time to decide; it had briefly spoken to Severus about where he wanted to be placed, before shouting loudly: "Slytherin! Mark my words, you will serve the Slytherin House well, dear boy."

Lucius sat back in amazement, in all his three years at Hogwarts, he had never seen the Sorting Hat have a conversation with a student, much less is give complements out. Lucius had been impressed, he made room for Severus to come and sit next to him on the Slytherin table.

After Severus sat himself next to Malfoy, he found himself be astonished at how confident his fellow Slytherin was, even though he was only thirteen. Lucius had introduced himself in a pompous manner and proclaimed that there was "no better Slytherin" to show Severus around Hogwarts and better still, how to fit in amongst Slytherins. Severus seemed to accepted Lucius' guidance immediately. His eyes had, in Lucius' opinion, shifted from being lost, hurt and confused to having found a sense of purpose. Lucius knew that Severus seemed desperate for his approval, wanting to fit in with him and his peers. Although many would take advantage of a young boy desperate to please them, Lucius did not. He only wished to aid the boy, aware that his status amongst most witches and wizards ensured he was well-liked and respected; he knew Severus could use this to his advantage.

Over the years at Hogwarts, Severus seemed to have a horrendous time – despite Lucius Malfoy's influence. Severus was well-respect among his fellow Slytherins, but he seemed to not get along well with his Gryffindor peers. A lot of his time was spent being bullied by a small group of Gyffindors, known as the Marauders.

Severus seemed to have little luck, every corner he turned there was James Potter or Sirius Black. Both were merciless with their cruelty towards him, they always seemed to take the lead by taunting him or physically attacking him, whilst Remus Lupin was docile and complied begrudgingly and Peter Pettigrew sniggered.

The bullying simply began as a division between houses, a mutual disliking that often occurred between Gryffindors and Slytherins. The distain between both houses was encouraged by staff at Hogwarts far too often. Heads of Houses used favouritism between their students, ensuring that they treated their own house better than the others. It was even made abundantly clear that the headmaster himself disliked Slytherins. Albus Dumbledore had always been far stricter with Slytherins than any over house and he clearly favoured his bold, confident Gryffindors.

This was made glaringly obvious to Severus from the very moment he stepped into Hogwarts, however one evening in the cool spring air, it was proven to him without a shadow of a doubt.

Severus was in his fifth year; he had turned 16 a few months prior (in January). He and Lucius were extremely close at this point, Lucius had – with little surprise on Severus' behalf – become Head Boy. Severus had also become a Slytherin Prefect, he was proud of himself for doing so.

Severus was in as best spirits as he could be lately, though, as he had fallen out with his long-term Gryffindor friend, Lily Evans, a month before. Lily and Severus had lived within two streets away from one another, so both had known of one another from the age of 7.

Severus Snape's family lived in a small, typically Northern, two-up-two-down terrace, which was used a few centuries earlier to house mill workers. Snape's family were incredibly poor; they often did not have enough to even provide with a basic meal, other than toast. Snape's mother had been a rather lovely pure-blood witch, who was tremendously talented with her wand and highly intelligent. Eileen Prince, Snape's mother, looked similar to her son. They both shared the incredibly mysterious dark eyes and dark hair, when either of them smiled they both had a crinkle in the corner of their mouths. Although Eileen did have slightly softer features than her son, but she was tall and thin. She had tried to be a loving mother, who encouraged Severus' intelligence and taught him how to read and even how to use magic simply. This was only allowed when his father was away at work.

Tobias Snape had been a truly horrible man. He had plagued their lives with ridicule, bullying and physical assault. Tobias had been a 19-year-old Muggle man when he met 14-year-old Eileen Prince, who was more than happy to be falsely charmed by him. Two years later, Eileen had become pregnant with Severus, and she was trapped with the abusive Tobias. He had accused her of "ruining his life" by getting pregnant with their child and punished her heavily for it.

Tobias Snape had worked any job that came his way, but this was mainly to fund his alcoholic tendencies and his gambling habit. He left Eileen with very little to run their home with; she struggled to make sure she paid the bills on time and to do a food shop. Luckily, her parents had gifted the small home to her as a wedding present, this ensured that they would never be out on the streets at least.

Whereas, Lily Evans' family had lived just two streets over, but it may as well have been worlds apart when comparative with Snape's home. The Evans were not overly wealthy but were certainly comfortable. Both her parents worked hard, they were both kind and loving towards both of their daughters, but clearly favoured Lily. Lily's parents had both liked Severus Snape, they could see he was a well-mannered boy that seemed to have come from a difficult home. They often invited the boy around for dinner or sent Lily out with extra food to ensure they boy was fed something.

Lily had witnessed first-hand how Severus lived, when he invited her back to his home one day. His father was at work, so his mother had allowed them both in. Lily had confessed to her parents about how awfully sparse Severus' home was, how she had disliked the poor condition of his bedroom, where he had only a bed that was lumpy and a small desk in his room. It seemed to Lily that his mother looked very unwell with bruises on her face and arms; Lily had also shared this with her parents. Since that very day on they did everything, they could to help Severus –that was until the 4th of March, 1976.

Severus regretted that very day ever since. Just a month and two days after the incident that had resulted in his friendship ending with Lily, Severus experienced, perhaps, the most horrifying event to happen in his life thus far.

Severus had been following the Marauders around since the start of the school year. He was immeasurably curious to why all four boys often snook out after curfew. Severus had deduced that the boys seemed to conduct their escapades around the time there was a full moon. Severus had his suspicions. But, in order to be believed he wanted undeniable proof. He knew without proof no-one would believe him; every member of the staff seemed to adore Sirius Black and James Potter. Slughorn seemed to have soft spot for both boys, as they were part of his 'Slug Club', Severus had learned this information from Lucius Malfoy, who was also part of the club.

Severus had managed to locate exactly where the boys disappeared, The Whomping Willow, many nights were spent by the tree, not close enough to be harmed by its various swaying, but close enough to see all that happened. He had once seen all four boys disappear through a passageway through the tree but had not worked out how to do the same. He had spent the better part of 6 months searching for information through the Restricted Section in the library, to no avail. He had even confessed all he knew to Lucius Malfoy, but that also, had turned up no vital information. Other than Abraxas Malfoy, Lucius' father, briefly saying there was a way to control the tree's behaviour, but he did not know how.

On the 6th of April 1976, Severus had been approached by Sirius Black at lunch. Sirius had been alone, the usual posse not in tow.

Severus had been sat outside near the Black Lake, he often liked to sit here for some peace and quiet away from the castle, he was aware that very few students sat near the Black Lake. Most students feared the Giant Squid that resided there. Severus was sat reading a book that Lucius had given him on dark curses and their uses. He found it very useful to read a book out in the open about the darker side to magic without being punished or ridiculed for it.

Sirius had smiled at Severus, it was a smile that seemed to not quite touch his eyes, but he seemed to control his features well. This did make Severus a little anxious, he began to fidget with his hands and began to scratch at his hand. Sirius began to pass time by making polite conversation, which Severus continued to find rather suspicious. Sirius reached into his pocket, he slid out a cigarette and popped it into his mouth.

"Want one, Snape?"

As an unconscious response, Severus began to wring his hands together with anxiety, before agreeing and reaching out for a cigarette. He began to inhale the smoke and calmed a little. He resumed listening to Sirius Black; he decided to try and be polite back, although it did take him a while. Sirius told Severus that he had witnessed him near the Whomping Willow a few days before, he then asked him if he ever wanted to access the tree's secret passage. Sirius informed Severus of how to access the secret passage and stop the Whomping Willow from swaying and attacking. All Snape had to do was press the small notch on the outside of the trunk.

Severus had eagerly nodded his interest, astounded to find out the truth; Sirius confessed that it was where the Marauders hung out to get away from the castle. Sirius also confessed that all four boys would be there this evening, he even said that Lily would be there. According to Sirius, Lily had requested that she wanted to have a chance to speak to Severus as she had thought about rekindling their friendship and wanted to show him forgiveness. Snape was feeling over-the-moon, he was stunned that Lily wanted to give him another chance.

When darkness fell that evening, it seemed to come quickly. The moon shone down brighter than ever; it was almost mocking Severus with its obnoxious glare. Severus had headed out from the castle in a hurry and made his way to the Whomping Willow. He used his wand to levitate a branch to press the knot on the tree. The great, large tree stopped aggressively swaying and slowed, before granting Snape access. He made is way down the earthy passage with speed, after ten minutes he had arrived at the Shrieking Shacking. Severus had his reservations as he stood staring at the Shrieking Shack, he knew it was supposed to be 'haunted' but was not sure he believed that much. He was not one to believe in hearsay and rumours. His reservations of entering had very little to do with the supposed haunting of the Shrieking Shack, it was all down to his instincts; something did not feel right about all of this. He allowed his desire for seeing Lily to win him over and entered the building.

Within five minutes, Severus knew he had been right. His suspicions were confirmed: Remus Lupin, was indeed, a werewolf. Unfortunately for Severus, tonight was a full-moon and Lupin had already transformed into his ulterior form. The monster stood before him, tall, dark and menacing. Severus' skin began to crawl, his whole-body trembling as he stood beneath the monster; he had never been this frightened in his life. Not even when his father hurled abuse his way or attacked his mother forcing him to observe.

Urine began to run down Severus' legs. The wolf's nostrils flared at the distinct smell and its piercing yellow eyes turned to glare at Severus' obsidian ones. It was as if night met day. The wolf lurched forward, thrashing his sharpened claws out towards Severus, his teeth bared and a snarl escaping its mouth. The wolf managed to slash through Severus' trousers and leave a deep cut on his upper, right thigh. Blood began to spill from the wound, Severus paled further unable to move, rooted to the spot. The wolf came in once more, snarling, but just as he did a large stag appeared out of nowhere. Along with an albino peacock, it was pure white and incredibly majestic looking. The peacock flew aggressively towards the wolf, its tail feathers fanning as its beak began to peck at the wolf's eyes. The wolf howled in pain, it reached up to rub at its eyes and push away the peacock. Meanwhile, the stag drove its antlers forward and trapped the wolf against the wall.

The beautiful albino peacock morphed into a tall, grey-eyed young man who seemed to be full of rage. He swished his head to glare at the two animals against the wall and then scrabbled over to Severus. Lucius bent down to grab Severus and carry him within his arms, saying very little, but quietly comforting a terrified Severus, they headed straight for the infirmary.

Madame Pomfrey had been in shock upon seeing Lucius Malfoy carry in Severus, but it had been the look within Severus' eyes that had scared her the most. The fear that lay there was truly horrifying; she had never seen the boy so scared before. She immediately alerted the headmaster. Lucius informed her, in as much detail as possible, of the night's events.

Lucius had witnessed Sirius Black talking to Severus from afar when at the Black Lake and found it highly suspicious. Malfoy was less naïve than Severus and treated the incident with trepidation, not trusting Black's intentions. He had then followed Severus' movements for the rest of the day and had seen him approach the tree and followed suit. James Potter had also been at The Whomping Willow. Both young men had been privy to Black's trick on Severus.

Madame Pomfrey worked diligently to heal Severus' wound and ensure he felt comforted. She knew in her heart that she could only heal Severus' physical wounds, not his emotional ones. She gave him a Calming Draught to help ease some of his suffering. She was hoping the boy could rest on the hospital bed before the headmaster came. Lucius sat near his friend looking incredibly worried for him, whereas Severus simply stared into space.

Albus Dumbledore appeared an hour later, he wore a smile and had his usual twinkly disposition despite the severity of the situation. Dumbledore first engaged in conversation with James, then Lucius Malfoy, and finally, Severus. He did not ask after Severus' wellbeing, thoroughly scrutinising him and being cruel. Severus sat dumbfound, unable to respond at all. Dumbledore turned to the boy and whispered ever-so-quietly that Severus should not have been out of his bed meddling, he should only blame himself for the night's events, not anyone else. He made Severus promise that he would not tell a soul about what had occurred this evening.

The headmaster looked at Severus with cold, menacing eyes and threatened him with making the Unbreakable Vow if he refused silence on today's events. Lucius sat feeling horrified at the notion of this and tried to defend Severus, but Dumbledore glared at Head Boy badge on his robes. Lucius picked up on the man's subtle suggestion and sighed. He sat himself back in the chair by Severus, a scowl on his face before his whole expression became blank. Dumbledore smirked with relief and soon left both boys feeling blindsided. Severus agreed to keep his silence, but had asked what punishment Black would receive. Dumbledore had sighed and said that Black would receive detention and then had ordered both boys to return to their common room once Madame Pomfrey had cleared Snape medically okay.

Madame Pomfrey seemed to be in an awful mood once she returned to see Severus, Lucius could sense that the woman was distressed by Dumbledore's reaction. She tried to insist on Severus stating the night in the infirmary, but he declined.

When Severus was cleared by Madame Pomfrey it was the early hours of the morning. The boys both headed to Slytherin Common room, automatically Severus began to head up to Lucius' Head Boy quarters. Each Head Boy and Head Girl were given their own small quarters in their final year as a way to honour their titles and promote independence. Neither boy spoke to one another, Lucius sat himself on his bed and crossed his long limbs. He looked over at Severus, who had curled into the armchair closest to the silver and green four-poster bed, and looked completely lost. Severus seemed to flinch as he felt Lucius' grey eyes upon him, he raised his head and looked into the elder boy's eyes. A comforting smile descended upon the blonde's lips, his features looking even more beautiful than normal, he was not sure of any other way of comforting his broken friend other than with this smile.

Severus seemed to respond by looking at him with a pleading fashion. Lucius raised his hand and beckoned him over to the bed. Severus scrambled to his feet and clambered next to Lucius, who sensed the boy needed comfort and put his arm around him. Severus slid into his chest and for the first time in a long time he allowed his tears to fall. They were silent tears. Lucius did not realise for a few moments, but once he had, he pulled Severus into a cuddle and held him tightly.

Both boys stayed cuddled up close for over thirty minutes, tears were still streaming from Severus' eyes when Lucius raised his hand wipe away the tears. Severus looked up at Lucius' grey, sorrow-filled eyes and pursed his lips.

Lucius sensed Severus' need; he bent his gracious head lower and captured Severus' lips into his own. This was the first time either of them had engaged in any physical act with one another, let alone the same sex. Lucius Malfoy was well versed with being with women and had not once questioned his sexuality, however in this very moment it was about desperation. He knew Severus needed a distraction from the present moment.

Severus was a little reserved and wanted Lucius to take control, he submitted himself to Lucius by lying against the bed and allowing him to take control. Severus wanted to feel anything than the deep sorrow that he currently felt.

Lucius placed his hand delicately on Severus' right cheek and began to stroke his thumb back and forth. His lips continued to caress Severus' cautiously, he wanted to make sure the dark-haired boy truly wanted this. Severus managed to lean his head forwards and let out a quiet moan, one which he seemed to feel ashamed of.

Lucius flicked his tongue out, he trailed it along the bottom of Severus' lips, hoping to prize open the other man's mouth. His lips parted and Lucius' tongue darted in further and began to caress his tongue. Lucius allowed his free hand to fall onto Severus' bottom, it rested on the inner curve. Severus seemed to enjoy this, and another moan escaped from him.

Lucius smiled into their kiss and bit down a chuckle at Severus' eagerness, he responded by giving his bottom a squeeze whilst his fingers began to graze circles through the boy's trouser material. Severus felt completely at ease with Lucius, it seemed as though he was no longer ashamed of his own need, although he did still feel inadequate compared to Lucius.

Lucius broke away from their kiss and gazed at Severus in a loving manner, while his hand grazed up and down his backside.

"Sev, is this something that you are comfortable with?"

Severus seemed to pause for a moment, he nodded eagerly. Lucius now smiled at him and then spoke with a husky note in his voice.

"Tell me what you want, Sev?" He purred into the man's ear. Lucius moved the hand that had been resting on Severus' cheek and moved across his chest and grazed above his groin. Severus shivered with desire, more moans escaping from his mouth. Lucius teased him further and moved his hand back up Severus' abdomen.

Severus pouted in response, it was evident what he wanted, his erection was currently rested against Lucius' thigh. Severus moaned; he began rock his hips forward to grind against Lucius. A chuckle erupted from Lucius' lips, he smirked before kissing Severus briefly.

"Tell me, Sev, you can have whatever you want… just tell me," Lucius commanded into his ear.

Shivers ran up Severus' spine as Lucius seductively spoke to him. He moaned again and whispered back to him.

"I have never… I do not know what to do. Please – just touch me…?"

Lucius' heart warmed, he gazed at Severus with a soft expression as he spoke.

"Oh, sweet Sev, I do not care about your lack of experience. Please do not think twice over that matter, let me please you?"

Severus seemed to agree, inching closer to Lucius, restlessly fidgeting against him. Lucius moved his lips to kiss the outer shell of Severus' ear and placed feathered kisses along his neck. The blonde daringly darted out his tongue, trailed it over the path he had just kissed and came to suck on Severus' pulse point. He simultaneously let his hand graze over Severus' groin, before cupping and squeezing him through his trousers. Lucius had continued his administrations until both of them had removed their clothes and sought out pleasure from one another. They lay in one another's arms for the whole night thereafter.

Severus still remembered that very night, despite all the tragedy, it had been one of the first instances where someone had shown him, he was worthy of love and compassion. Lucius Malfoy, despite his reputation, was a loving individual, who fiercely protected and fought for those he deemed worthy.

Author's Note:

Please do not hate me for what I have written, I wanted to give a back story to Severus and Lucius' complex friendship and how both are incredibly close. I wanted to humanise Lucius and show him how I perceive him to be, a loyal faithful friend who is intelligent. I also wanted to write more from Narcissa Malfoy's perspective for a similar reason; she is one of the very few characters who never seems to get enough acknowledgment to how wonderful and strong she is.

I am incredibly sorry for how long it has taken me to update this story, so it was much longer than previous ones. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I have writing it. Let me know your thoughts - Flying Alone xxa