Chapter 1.

Jules had just come in from shutting the chickens in for the night when her phone rang. Cas often called before leaving the bunker, letting her know that he was heading home, but this time she knew something was wrong by his first words. "Hi, Cas!" she said.

"I can't come home tonight." he said, his voice a dull monotone. She could tell he was trying to sound normal.

"What's happened?" she said.

"Is Sarah with you?" he said.

"I'll put you on speaker." she said.

"I may not be back for a while." he said. His voice still sounded wrong.

"What's wrong?" said Jules.

Sarah sat at the table and gestured for Jules to do the same. They put the phone between them. "It's fine, dear." said Sarah, "Just tell us."

"Dean ... "

Jules felt her heart lurch as his voice choked off.

He tried again. "Dean's lost. Dean's gone."

"Dead?" said Sarah and Jules took her hand. She knew what Dean meant to Sarah and what it cost her to even imagine the death of another son.

"Not dead. I hope not dead." said Cas, "He ... " Whatever it was, he couldn't say it.

"Michael?" she said, hating even to speak the name to him, knowing how many of his fears were wrapped around it.

"Yes." he said, the word raw and painful.

"Possession?" she said.

"Yes." he said again.

"But angels need consent and Dean ... "

"Dean gave consent." said Cas.

Sarah squeezed her hand and Jules squeezed back. "Where is Dean now?" she said.

"I don't know." he said, "It wasn't his fault. It wasn't his choice. Sam and Jack were in danger. Lucifer is dead, at least. Dean never would have ... "

"We know that, Castiel." said Sarah firmly, "Come home."

"I can't. We have to find Dean, if there still is a Dean. And if not, we have to find and destroy Michael. Right now, we don't know where to begin. I'll be at the bunker for as long as I'm needed ... as long as there's a chance I might be useful."

"When you get a chance, fill me in on the details." said Jules, "My hunters can look for him too."

"Carefully." said Cas, "I can't lose you too."

"Sam and Jack are safe?" said Sarah.

"Lucifer took Jack's grace. Sam is devastated, of course. Both are alive and at the bunker." said Cas. He sounded lost. Jules longed to hug him.

"Can I come to you?" she said.

"The bunker isn't safe. Stay there. Make no attempt to contact Dean. You both need to take great care."

"I need to see you." she said.

"No, you don't." he said, "Keep safe."

Sarah spoke. "Castiel, you shouldn't be alone."

"I'm with Sam and Jack." he said, "They need me."

"My dear, I need to see you. So does Jules. You're frightening us."

"You're safe where you are. I made that place safe." he said.

"We're worried about you." said Jules.

"Michael won't lower himself to kill me. I am nothing." said Cas.

"You're everything to me." said Jules.

"I'm sorry. I love you." he said.

"Don't hang up!" she said.

"We need to find Dean." he said and he ended the call.

Jules looked at Sarah. "He blames himself."

"For everything since the dawn of time." said Sarah.

"Jack's just a human now?"

"Sounds like it. He must be frightened."

"And Sam. Poor Sam." said Jules.

"None of them are going to eat or sleep or take care of themselves until they find Dean." said Sarah, "And I can't imagine what state Dean is in."

"If Michael didn't just kill him."

"You don't steal a '67 Impala and then throw out the engine." said Sarah, "Dean's alive."

"What do we do about Cas?" said Jules.

"We get him here, somehow. The others too, if we can. We give them whatever they need. We give our boys all the support they will allow."

"Without Dean, Cas will be a mess."

"They all will." said Sarah, "I know this is hard for you, Jules. I know your life with Castiel has not been much of a fairytale so far ... "

"I'd rather be in a horror story with him than a fairytale without him." said Jules, "I'll take whatever comes, anything but losing him." She went to the stove and set the kettle on it. "I'll make some tea. This is harder for you than for me, Sarah. You and Dean are so close."

"The thought of that monster inside him ... and he feared possession so much."

"I never thought he would say yes to Michael, but Cas always thought it was a possibility. The thought of it was always at the back of his mind."

"Speaking of the back of his mind, could the mental link between him and Dean help them to find him?"

"I'll suggest it, next time he gets in touch." she said, worrying that he might not.

"I'd better call Sam." said Sarah. She took her phone from her pocket and tried. "Voicemail." she said, "Sam, I heard about Dean. Call me or come here. Jules and I want to help." She put the phone away. "Come here, Jules." she said.

Jules went over to her, gently laying a hand on her shoulder. "We'll get through this together." she said, "We have each other." She meant it. She had no family in this world, no roots, no history, but she and Sarah had adopted each other and even though they had not lived under the same roof for long, that seemed a stronger bond than blood. "Your people will be my people and your God my God." she said.

"My Ruth, my daughter," said Sarah, "I promise you, we will bring our angel home. We will have all our boys safely back with us."

"He thinks he's staying away to help them and protect us, but he doesn't want to come home." said Jules, "He's ashamed."

"I love how quickly you've understood him, but I hate that you have to understand his pain." said Sarah.

"Our angel has so much baggage, he needs a wagon train." said Jules.

"I tried to help him unpack a little of it, but all my work with all of them is in jeopardy now. This is like a hammer blow. It will shatter them all."

"Yes." said Jules, "But we can't let it break us too. They need us. Cas needs us."

"I'm so glad he has you, my dear." said Sarah.

"He has both of us. Alone, I'd be no use at all."