While the gems are away, Steven attempts to sleep once more. He finds something different in his attempt however...something promising...and something disturbing.

...

While the trio were off to Homeworld in their attempts at the soon to be failed questioning of Black Diamond, Steven had tried to find solace in his slumber once again, though he would have been surprised if he had been able to. For several days now, it was all in vain as he was doomed to repeat the same motion of hope to slumber only to be retraumatized. As the young man laid down for the night, with low hopes of anything changing, he closed his eyes and soon found himself drifting away yet again.

When he reopened his eyes, he found himself staring at the same dark abyss that he would normally end off with, something he found odd.

"Well, this is...different."

As Steven stared back into the abyss in an attempt to try and figure out why he wasn't getting the usual treatment of being shown his past, he began to hear the large whirring of his gem, as he usually did whenever he was in this place. The more he listened though, the more he could swear that the noise was coming from somewhere, rather than everywhere as it initially seemed. With all his focus being placed on the noise, he found that his guess was right as he pinpointed the direction the noise was coming from. Without many other options, he began to walk towards the sound.

As time went by (or at least what he could call that since time here seemed to vary from actual time), Steven found that the noise wasn't growing in intensity, but he could tell that he was getting closer still. Soon enough, he saw a small pink glow in the distance of the void. Happy to actually see something was in the empty world, he began to pick up the pace. As he continued his approach, the small glow began to take shape, one that became more familiar the closer he got. After a brief moment of continued movement, Steven found himself standing face to face with his gem half.

The Pink Steven, who was dressed up in the same attire Steven would normally be in, minus the jacket, stared at the hybrid with the same emotionless look that he had displayed in White's head all those years ago. While everything seemed normal from the gem, Steven silently noted that PS held his arm up, with his hand placed on his chest.

"Steven" said PS suddenly, snapping Steven out of his thoughts.

"Hey...you. Haven't seen you in a few years huh."

Seeing that he wasn't going to get a response from his attempt at breaking the tension in the air, Steven continued.

"So, what are we doing here...what are you doing here? I didn't think you'd show up again unless we got split."

"Attempting to correct...alignment."

"And by that you mean?"

"Trying to fix us...fix you."

"What do you mean by fix exactly? It's not like we're broken...at least not anymore."

"Not broken...misaligned."

"Okay, that literally doesn't make any sense. Could you just spell it out for me, preferably in longer doses?

"We need help. You wouldn't get any...I am fixing this."

Hearing this from himself (technically, but also not, something he'd prefer not to ponder), Steven began to grow annoyed. "Yeah, I know we need help. I was getting back into normal life before these memories started coming back. And what do you mean 'your fixing this'? How exactly are you doing that?

"By showing you those memories."

"Wait...your the reason I'm seeing the past?! You're why I haven't been able to sleep?"

"Yes" he said with the same emotionless monotone voice.

"Well, could you stop! I've been literally losing my mind because I can't function anymore thanks to that."

"No...can't stop...not yet."

"What do you mean 'not yet'? Your the one making them happen, so you can make them stop too right?"

"Yes...can't make them stop however. Not until requirements are met."

"What requirements?!"

"You need to talk"

"Talk? Talk about what, and to who?"

"The past...to the others...they need to know everything." As PS said this, a glowing white butterfly could be seen fluttering nearby.

Not wanting to even begin to address that mess, he ignored the creature and continued in his attempts to figure out answers. "So your saying that these moments will stop if I just tell them about everything that happened to us?"

"Yes"

"And if I don't?"

"Then we continue to worsen...until...

"Until what? Tell me!"

As the question lingered in the air, PS looked to the side, towards the butterfly. As Steven looked over, he saw that the creature had began to multiply. With their numbers still growing as the beings of pure thought continued to appear from seemingly nowhere, the hybrid watched as the now swarm of butterflies began to move about in such a way that it began to create a large gust. As the flock began to swirl around in a tornado like circle, Steven found that a shape was taking form. The more time that passed, the more Steven recognized the shape all to well. With the creatures still finishing the details, he couldn't deny the form. The scales, the tail, the gaze that could kill if it were possible. As the flock finished their design, Steven soon found himself face to face with his literal demons in the form of the monster he had taken twice before.

"until we've broke...permanently."

"I...you...you're saying that we'll become that again...but for good?" asked Steven in a harrowed voice.

"...yes"

"But...but we can't just bring it all up at once...they wouldn't be able to handle it...I can't handle it.

"There is no other way"

As the information began to process and settle within Steven, he couldn't deny it. He knew he needed help, but to see and hear this all first hand from himself, or at least a part of him, the impact that the PS was making was too great to be ignored.

"Okay...fine. I'll talk to them...I'll tell them what they need to know. But...I'm not telling them everything." Seeing that this gained PS's attention, he continued. "They already know and were a part of the past for a good amount of the journey...but there's still a lot they don't know. I'll make time to tell the right people the right things, but these guys...they'll still know everything by the end of it. Will that work?

"...yes.

"Thank you" said Steven with a sigh of relief as the butterflies began to disappear, leaving the two of them alone in the void once more. "So, now that I know why this is all happening...I have a few questions for you to answer. For starters, why're you still holding your chest like that?"

As PS looked down to the place where his hand was, he seemed to mentally sigh as he paused before doing anything else. Once he returned to reality though, he brought his hand away from his chest. On the spot that was covered, Steven gasped as he saw a small black spot, which he almost mistook for a crater. With the spot, several dark cracks were running through and around it's location.

"What...what is that? What happened to you?

"Our organic trauma...it was already a toll...recent events made it worse."

"Recent events?...You mean the stuff that happened with Black Diamond?"

"Yes...it grew in place over time...began to crack when we...broke."

"When we broke?" As Steven began to think of the more recent events concerning the control of the elder diamond, one thought in particular stood out. "It cracked when we became outraged at Black on Homeworld...didn't it?"

"Yes...breaking the control...while still under the influence...along with our trauma..."

"...it was too much. It damaged your form...kinda of like Volleyball's." Steven said as he finished the thought of his gem half.

"Correct. Repeated physical and mental strain...caused this."

"Can it be fixed?"

"Unsure, but believe it's a possibility...need to fix trauma first."

"Oh...alright. Heh, guess we both have our problems huh." Steven said as he found the situation amusing. Seeing that his pink twin wasn't sharing the same feeling (whether that was because he literally couldn't as his lack of emotion thus far was concerning, or because he just didn't see the humor that his organic half found was still to be determined), Steven continued. "Well, don't worry. I'll get us both fixed up here. But I gotta know...why'd you wait so long to tell me? Why show me the memories rather than just come out and tell me to get my act together? "

"Couldn't form properly...took time."

"Oh. Is it because of the damage to our forms?"

"Unsure...but likely. Attempted to gain attention at end of each memory."

"Was that the gem noise I heard at the end of each event? That was you trying to reach out to me?"

"Yes...you awoke before I could form however."

"Hmm, ok then. So, how do I get out of here? Can't exactly talk to the others from here."

"Say when."

"Alright then. Before I go though, I have one more thing to ask. Could you let me sleep in peace for one night? I'm not sure how well the details will come out, if I'd even be able to get them to, if I can't even stay on track with it for more than a couple seconds after all.

"Yes...that is fine. If you don't talk however..."

"Then the dreams will continue and we'll begin to rot away even further, yeah I got it." Steven said as he finished his twin's sentence yet again. "Alright...I'm ready."

As he said this, his gem, which was on both of their bodies, began to glow. As the glow grew, Steven found himself being yanked out of the abyss the same way that he would be normally. Soon enough, he found himself back in reality as he awoke, still laying on his bed as usual. The only difference he noticed was that he felt rested. As he leaned upward and stretched, he looked over to his clock, which said 6:30 a.m.

"Huh, look at that. Thanks me...I needed that." he said as he looked down at his gem. "Alright then...let's get this over with."

With this, he got dressed in his usual attire and moved downstairs. The first thing he noticed was that Greg was currently out cold on the couch. The old man had never been an early riser unless he had to be, but it was still odd to see him here. It was even more odd to see that the gems weren't present either.

'Guess they went out for a bit. Probably asked Dad to watch me for the time being.' Steven thought. Not wanting to disrupt his father, Steven quietly made himself a vitamin shake and moved up to the balcony.

After sometime, he saw his trio of guardians arrive on the warp pad. As they exited the observatory, they noticed his presence.

"Good morning Steven." said Pearl.

"You feeling any better dude?" asked Amethyst.

"Hey guys. Yeah, actually got some good sleep last night. But, listen guys...I think I'm ready."

"Ready for what?" said a curious Pearl, who was speaking for the group as the other two shared her curiosity.

"I'm ready to talk. C'mon, it's time I tell you guys everything."

...

And now we begin moving into the part where Steven gets the trio caught up on everything major that they missed. I won't be covering every little bit of the show and/or what they missed for a few reasons, one of which is kinda funny in an odd way. With that said reason 1, AKA confession time, I've never seen SU before officially. I've watched Future in its entirety, but not the original show. Caught hooked into it and caught up on the major points from clips on youtube sometime ago, but as for seeing it actually, haven't done it yet lol (looking to change this soon hopefully...as soon as I sit down with my little bit of free time and do that lol). With that said, I'll still be covering over the major points that the gems need to know and/or missed out on (White's head, his time in space with Eyeball, etc.). I'll still make a point to briefly discuss and/or show other events that the trio know of already, but the main focus will be on the events they missed out on and/or were only told about. After all, hearing about an event and actually seeing it are two very different things. Secondly, I'm only covering the more major points as I feel like those ones had a more significant toll on his trauma than the others. Plus, if I were to cover everything, even just every little thing the gems missed, then this story would turn into something quite long, which is something I'm looking to avoid this time around. I still have other stories I want to begin after this one and my schedule is not looking too great come around July to November, so the sooner I get this one finished, then I can begin the others before my time is taken up for a few months.

Long story short, for the next several chapters, we'll be covering the major points that the gems missed out on and also looking at info they may not have known before that Steven feels they should now.

Also, it is my head canon that Steven hasn't seen Pink Steeb since their meeting in White's head and that he only sees him during times like this or went his gem reforms. I might've missed something that says otherwise, but this is my belief lol.

Happy Tuesday everyone. Hope it's going well. Thank you all for the support and stopping by here. Appreciate each of you! Hope to see you all again in chapter 6, where we begin to look at some of Steven's traumas.

Here Comes a Thought by Estelle & AJ Michalka (from the SU Soundtrack)