Standing in the apartment, Alison had begun to hang up the photo frames that she had bought. She had spent the morning filling them with photographs and deciding where to place them on the wall. It had been just over a year since they had gotten married and in that time they had been on honeymoon to Italy, travelling around and seeing the sights. Alison had driven them in the small car they had rented and Q had to admit that he had been apprehensive, especially when he saw the narrowed roads and how some drivers were rather erratic.

But Alison had gotten them around without a scrape, almost looking smug when they returned the car and got the full deposit back. Winking at Q, she had let him deal with the paperwork considering his Italian was better than hers. They had returned to their normal lives after the honeymoon, going about finishing decorating the apartment in between going to work.

It was Saturday morning and Alison had already gone for her run around Regent's Park before returning home and showering. Q had been forced to go into work early that morning, some kind of emergency with some of the gadgets meaning that he was required there urgently. He had left Alison to sleep, leaving her note and promising her that he would be back in time for dinner.

And so she had focused on tidying the apartment. She had sorted out the spare bedroom that also acted as their office, filing away papers and looking to Q's desk that sat next to hers. She left his laptop and monitors alone before adjusting the throw on the sofa. She then saw all the photographs she had printed from the wedding and their honeymoon and had set about putting them into the frames she had ordered.

That was where Q found her, stood in front of the wall behind the sofa and holding up the frames. She turned her head over her shoulder to see him walking in, dressed in his winter coat with his satchel thrown over his body.

"Hey," Alison smiled over to him and Q's own lips arched upwards at hearing her and seeing her. He removed his satchel from his body and dropped it onto the floor before unbuttoning his coat. "Did you sort the emergency out?"

"I sorted it," he promised her. "Boris had made quite the mess of some coding on the smart blood technology, which had an impact on some of the customised gadgets for 008. It took longer than I thought, but we got there."

"Well good," Alison said to him. "Because I was hoping you wouldn't be late. I bought some fresh ingredients and was going to attempt to make a casserole for dinner tonight."

"Sounds delicious," Q responded and he moved forwards and towards her, looking at the frames she held in her hand. Peering down onto them, he saw the images of the two of them in Rome and then on their wedding day. "And I see you've been busy."

"Just tidying," Alison shrugged as she turned her head to the side and Q pecked her on the lips softly, greeting her properly before pulling back and brushing her hair from her cheek, tucking it behind her ear. She placed the photo frames down to the side of her and moved a hand to his shoulder, letting it press into the material of his cotton blue shirt and then slip to toy with the dark blue tie.

"And these?" Q asked from her, motioning down to the frames as she leant her side against his front and he wrapped his arm around her waist. "I imagine you want them hanging up?"

"I was just trying to work out where to put them," Alison said to him and looked at the wall once more. "I figured we needed to do it eventually. Besides, we've hardly got any photographs of us here."

"I suppose not," Q said. "Does the one on my bedside drawer not count?"

"It does, but we should have more."

"I have one at my desk at work," Q said and Alison arched her brow as Q moved so that his front was pressed flush against her back.

"You have a photo of us on your desk?" she checked with him and placed her hands on top of his that he had wrapped around her waist and laced together on her stomach. He dropped his chin down so that it was by her cheek and she felt his smooth shaven skin.

"A photo of you, to be more precise," Q admitted to her. "It's the one of you at the Christmas market on the South Bank…it's quite old now, though. I think your father has seen it there. He did glare at me the entire morning after spotting it."

Alison chuckled, imagining that being the case. She missed her father more than she cared to admit. He had gone off soon after the wedding, finding himself living in a rural cabin in Jamaica. He had promised to come to London and visit, but he hadn't been back in quite some time. Alison had intended to go and visit him too, but ever since she had come back from their honeymoon, she had been busy. She had work and then the apartment was taking up quite a lot of her time. Plus, there was the fact that she had begun thinking more and more about hers and Q's future.

"I bet," Alison said to him and he kissed the side of her head.

"Anyway, I am wondering if there is any point in hanging these pictures up," Q commented, eyes moving over their freshly painted wall. Alison frowned, running her fingers along the backs of Q's, occasionally feeling his wedding ring with each movement.

"Why would you say that?" Alison asked from him.

"Well, where will our child sleep in this apartment?" Q wondered and Alison's eyes widened at hearing him. She began smiling widely as she turned around in his grip and moved her hands to his shoulders, holding them tightly as he let his nimble fingers find the small of her back, planting themselves firmly there.

"You're serious?" she checked with him.

"We have a lot to discuss and think about first, Alison," Q warned her, knowing that he had to be practical about everything. He took a moment to gather himself as his wife continued beaming widely, unable to stop herself from smiling at what she was hearing. "But, I had a look at our finances and we can afford a child, but we need to move somewhere bigger. This apartment…I know it is our first home and I do love it here, but we need somewhere with a second bedroom that is not going to be filled with our work and computer screens."

"I know," Alison agreed with him on that point. "I just thought that you wanted to wait a while longer."

"No…well…yes…" Q blabbered, knowing that he had to be more coherent in getting his thoughts out. He took a moment to gather himself with a deep breath as Alison continued watching him. "I wanted time because I know that having a child is not simple. We need to consider finances…the prospect of finding another place to live. I want us to be prepared when we do decide the time is right and I think we can be prepared soon enough."

Alison couldn't stop the smile from forming on her face. She had mentioned the idea to Q month's ago. In fact, just after the wedding she had wondered if she could be pregnant considering her period had been so late. But it had been caused by stress. And so she had wondered what it would be like actually to be pregnant. She had raised the idea with Q while they had been in Italy, but he had insisted on them spending more time together, just them two.

"So what?" Alison asked from him. "We find a new house and then we can try?"

"I think that would be the most logical route," Q said to her with a nod and Alison rolled her eyes, her lips remaining quirked upwards.

"You make it sound so clinical."

"Not clinical, we just need to be practical."

"Alright," she agreed with him on that point as she moved to her toes and kissed him firmly. He kept his arms tight around her waist as she continued kissing him and he knew that things would move fast if Alison had her way. She wasn't entirely known for being patient when she had something in her mind. But Q didn't mind. He was ready for them to start thinking about the next chapter in their lives.

…

Sitting next to Alison in the hospital, Q looked at her back as she remained laid on her side. He watched her for a few moments, his eyes moving over her soft curls that were messed up over the pillow. He clasped his hands together and leant forwards, letting them rest in between his legs. His dark blue tie dangled down in between his legs and he moved his finger to push his glasses further onto his nose from where they had slipped down.

"The first few weeks are always the most risky, Alison," Q informed his wife, trying to help her out of the daze she seemed to be stuck in. "You heard the doctor, there was nothing that you did…that we did…it was an accident. It was a terrible accident."

"An accident," Alison whispered back to him and she turned over to look at him and Q instantly felt his chest ache, almost as though his heart was breaking. He had felt the same feeling when she had called him from the hospital and asked him to come to her.

He had abandoned his work in an instant and took off, grabbing his satchel and flinging it over his body before heading for the tube. He didn't entirely know how he had arrived at the hospital, seeming to go onto autopilot. He had found Alison in a bed in a private room, a nurse sat with her as she sat in a hospital gown on the bed. He hadn't known what to say to her, but when his eyes had met hers and he had seen her start to sob, he had rushed towards her and they had both cried together.

He didn't know how long he had sat with her on the bed, the nurse leaving them and giving them privacy for as long as they needed.

"Just an accident," Q promised her in a soft voice and she pressed a hand to her stomach. She had been ten weeks pregnant and they had kept the news to themselves, knowing that the first twelve weeks were supposed to be kept that way. Alison had told her father, of course, and Q's parents knew. But only those select few had been told and sworn to secrecy.

Alison had told Madeleine, but her father didn't know that. Her father didn't know that Alison was still in touch with Madeleine after she had tracked her down when she had returned back to London. Alison had been shocked to find her outside of her apartment, but it had been a good shock. She told her that she was back working in London as a therapist, but she didn't mention anything else.

"Can we go home?" Alison dared to ask him.

"I will ask the nurse to see when you can be discharged," Q said to his wife. "Do you feel well enough to go home?"

Alison nodded. "I just want to go back home," she said to him in a soft voice and he understood that feeling entirely. She went silent as Q stood up, kissed her on the forehead and left to go and find a nurse.

It was another two hour's before Alison was discharged from the hospital. She changed into her red dress, forgoing her tights that had been ruined and the nurse had found clean underwear for her too. Q had carried his bag and her bag on one arm, his other arm wrapped around her shoulders as he guided her out towards the taxi rank.

Holding the door open for her, he let her climb into the car and he gave the driver their address. They were silent the entire journey back home and Q let his thoughts consume him on the way back, knowing full well that Alison would be doing the same. There was nothing they could have done differently and he was well aware of that.

Once they were back home, Q told Alison to head upstairs and he would put the kettle on. Their new home was even further outside of central London than their old apartment, but they had more space. They even had an upstairs. He heard her trudge up the steps and moved to put the kettle on, dropping two teabags into their mugs.

He placed their bags in the cupboard under the stairs and pulled his tie from around his neck, tossing it onto the couch and then shrugging out of his dark blue jacket, laying it on top of his tie. Pouring the water into the kettle, he headed on up the stairs and towards their bedroom, quickly looking into the room that they had intended on turning into a nursery.

"Tea," Q said, placing the cup down on her bedside table.

Alison had changed into her long sleeved plaid pyjamas. She tugged at the red, green and white cuffs of them and sat on the bed. She left her clothes discarded on the chair in the corner as Q placed his own mug on his bedside table and stood by the side of the bed, hands on his hips.

"I'm sorry," Q said to Alison and her brow furrowed at hearing him.

She shook her head and moved to settle on her knees on the bed. "Why are you sorry?" she asked from him.

"Because I should have been there," Q said to her. "I should have been with you…supported you better…"

"Oh, Q," Alison sighed his name, reaching a hand out towards him.

He took hold of her fingers inside of his and let her pull him down to sit on the bed. She moved to wrap her arms around him, his cheek pressed to her shoulder as she held him tightly.

"You couldn't have done anything," she said to him in a soft whisper, her voice hoarse from all of the crying she had been doing as she clung onto her husband and felt him shake against her. She moved a hand through his hair, letting her chin sit on top of his head. "You said it yourself, it was an accident."

"But the thought of you being alone…going through that alone…and I…I said that I would protect you, Alison. I promised you and I failed again."

"No," Alison said, her voice slightly firmer this time as she sniffed loudly, trying to blink back her own tears at hearing him say that to her. "Listen to me, Q, you aren't to blame for this. You couldn't have done anything. We weren't to know this was going to happen. How could we? It's only been ten weeks. And if anyone is to blame then I blame myself."

Q sat up and looked to her then as she wiped away the tears that had fallen from her eyes on her cheeks. She sniffed again and placed a hand to his shoulder, squeezing it firmly as she looked down to her stomach.

"How can you say that?" Q questioned from her.

"Because I was the one carrying this baby. It was my body…and I know it's not my fault. I know there was nothing we could have done and the nurse told me this. She was amazing, Q, really amazing…but I still feel guilt. I feel as though I should have been able to protect this baby and I couldn't."

"Don't say that," Q urged from her.

"Hard not to," Alison said. "But she did tell me it was normal to be consumed by guilt and I think we both are. She said we shouldn't be because it was an accident, but she told me it happens and that…that it's a process of grieving."

Nodding his head, Q could understand that. Moving to hold her cheek in his hand, he let his thumb run along her cheekbone as she kept a hand on her stomach. Looking down to her fingers, Q nodded, gulping and moving his own hand to sit on top of hers, holding onto it tightly.

"Then we'll grieve together," he told her.

She nodded once and leant her forehead against his before pecking him on the cheek and dropping her head to his shoulder and he kissed the top of her head, knowing that they would somehow get through this together.

…

Sitting in the café just outside of King's Cross station, Alison folded one leg over the other and held onto her hot chocolate. She waited for Madeleine to join her, having ordered the woman an espresso. She looked around for a few moments and noted a father holding onto his son's hand and swinging him in the air as he laughed loudly by the fountains outside. Turning her gaze away, Alison felt that familiar flutter in her stomach and sense of resentment. Pushing that feeling down, she saw Madeleine enter the café and looked around, clearly searching for Alison.

She soon spotted her by the window and Alison stood up, embracing her as she approached.

"Alison," Madeleine spoke in a soft voice. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," Alison said, not entirely certain if that was true. Sitting back down, Madeleine did the same. "I ordered you an espresso."

"Thank you," she replied and shrugged out of her red coat, letting it fall onto the back of the chair. She adjusted the sleeves to the black jumper she wore over her dark jeans and looked to the younger woman. "So, how have you been?"

"Fine," Alison said again. "I mean, the end of the term has been hectic with marking and thinking about next term as well, but it's been fine. And you? How is work?"

"Hectic just like yours, I imagine," Madeleine replied, wrapping her hands around the mug and letting it warm her up. "But it has been good. I'm enjoying being back at work and practicing."

"I bet," Alison said. "Are you finishing for Christmas soon?"

"On Tuesday," Madeleine confirmed to her. "I was going to fly back home for the Christmas and just relax. What about you?"

"We finished on Friday and Q finishes on Monday. We're going to spend it with his parents this year. They've invited us down for the entire period, but I think we're only going Christmas Eve and then coming back the day after Boxing Day. I think Q just wants some time at home to relax too. He's been pretty busy at work recently."

"I can imagine," Madeleine assured Alison of that much. And she could imagine it. She suspected the life of a quartermaster could be very time-consuming. "And how is Q doing?"

"Fine," Alison said. "I mean, he's been working late recently and we've been decorating the house…plus I've been working late too…"

"Hmm," Madeleine hummed thoughtfully and Alison wondered what she was hinting at. Arching a brow, she looked at the blonde sat opposite her and leant back, arms folding over her chest almost defensively.

"What?" Alison questioned.

"Nothing," Madeleine said to her, but Alison knew she was lying. She continued staring at her and she finally relented, holding her hands up defensively. "I just want to make sure that you are okay, Alison…that you and Q are both fine…because it is okay not to be fine, you know that?"

"Honestly, we're fine," Alison said, but she didn't know if that was true.

They had grieved together, constantly comforting each other for the first few weeks after they had lost their baby. But then Q had taken to working later and Alison had taken to doing the same and then decorating. She couldn't really remember the last time they had done something together that they wanted to do. She couldn't even recall the last time they had even been intimate.

"You're sure?" Madeleine asked her. "Because losing a child can be a traumatic experience and some couples do struggle and that is completely normal."

"You think we're struggling?" Alison wondered.

"I don't know, Alison, all I know is that I don't want you to struggle. You and Q have been through so much together and it is bound to take its toll. I know that and I am certain you know it too."

"I…" Alison trailed off, not entirely certain what she should say. Looking down into the depths of her hot chocolate, she felt Madeleine reach across and take hold of her hand, giving it an encouraging squeeze.

"You can talk to me," she whispered. "I know you have conflicting feelings because of what happened between me and your father, but I am still here for you, Alison."

Looking back up and over to Madeleine, Alison nodded once and tried not to cry in front of her. She gulped and then let out a shaky breath, doing everything in her power not to let her voice crack as she spoke.

"I am doing better than I was," Alison promised Madeleine. "I still get times when I feel…just empty…or resentment when I see happy couples…and I know that lots of women miscarry. I know that it happens and I know that we could have another child with no complications in the future, but it still hurts after weeks of trying and then being happy when we found out."

"I understand," Madeleine said. And she did understand. She understood much more than Alison could comprehend.

"And then Q started working late and I did the same…it was almost like it became a way of coping. If we were working then we didn't have time to think," Alison explained to her. "And we both just don't mention it. It's almost like we're too worried to bring it up."

"I think that you need to," Madeleine said with a nod, not letting go of Alison's hand. "I think you need to talk about it together and if that doesn't help then you know that I can always recommend a therapist."

"I know," Alison said to her. "I'll try and talk to him. Hopefully he won't be too late home tonight."

"Just don't struggle, Alison. You never have to struggle."

Alison smiled at her and nodded as she insisted on talking about something else, anything else. But the thought of her and Q's relationship stayed at the back of her mind.

…

Alison stood over the cooker and looked down onto the sauce she was cooking. She spooned some onto the wooden spoon that she was using to stir it with and took a small taste. She let it sit on her tongue for a moment before deciding to add some more pepper. She heard the door open just as she placed the grinder open and Q walked in, a woollen grey coat over his suit jacket and jumper. He dropped his satchel to the ground and looked into the kitchen where Alison was stood.

She turned to look to him and he took in her appearance. She had tied her hair into a messy ponytail at the back of her head and was wearing a fitted black dress with long sleeves over thick black tights. She looked more like she was ready to go out than to stay in and cook. Q's brows knitted together as he began unbuttoning his long coat.

"What's going on?" he asked from her.

"I thought that I would cook dinner," Alison said, motioning to the pans on the hob. "I don't know if it will be anywhere near as good as your cooking, but I got it from that cookbook I got you for your birthday."

"It smells delicious," Q promised her, hanging his coat up. "But you didn't need to go to all this effort."

Alison shrugged. "We haven't had a proper meal in ages," she said to him. That much was true. "And it is Christmas."

"Yes," Q agreed. "But why are you dressed up like that?"

"Like what?" Alison asked, looking down at the dress she was wearing.

"Like you're ready for a night out rather than staying in," Q commented and Alison felt her stomach twist into knots. She shrugged her shoulders and wondered if this had been a stupid idea. Recently she had taken to wearing jeans and baggy jumpers when she was at home, not feeling like getting dressed up unless it was for work and even then she changed as soon as she returned home.

"I saw this when I was out with Madeleine. We went shopping after coffee and she…she said it was nice…but I guess it looks stupid for a night in. I'll go and change, just keep an eye on the sauce for me, okay?"

She began to move off and Q wondered if he had said the wrong thing as he saw her avoid his gaze and head to the staircase at the other side of the kitchen. He stopped her before she could take the first step, grabbing hold of her wrist and stopping her from moving up the steps.

"It's nice, Alison," Q said to her. "I mean, it's more than nice…you look lovely."

"I just…it's been weeks…and I feel like we've hardly spent any time together. We work late, come home and decorate or do more work and then just sleep," Alison admitted to Q. "And I just wanted to try and make an effort tonight…be who we used to be, you know, Alison and Q."

Q sighed and nodded his head, moving a hand to brush a stray curl from her face, pushing it behind her and tucking it firmly in place as he let his hand continue to sit there, toying with her locks softly.

"I didn't know what else to do," he confessed to his wife. "I…I didn't want to keep bringing it up because I didn't want to upset you and I thought that working late…it helped me keep my mind busy."

"I know," she assured him. "And I started doing the same thing, but it's not fair on us, Q. We should be able to talk about what happened and if we get upset then that's fine. But we shouldn't be bottling things up."

"You're sure?"

"Positive," she promised him with a gentle smile and he nodded his head.

"I do love you, you know that, right?"

Alison continued smiling and moved her hand to his cheek, stroking it softly and nodding. "I know," she said. "I love you too."

"And you do look lovely," he added on and she chuckled.

"Thanks," she said. "You look pretty good yourself too."

"This old suit?"

"You know I've always been a sucker for you in a suit," she responded and Q chuckled at hearing that, nodding his head and bending down to kiss her. He pressed his lips to hers and was about to pull away.

But Alison wasn't letting him. She moved her hand to the back of his neck and clung onto him firmly. He didn't complain as he dropped his arms to wrap around her waist, pulling her tightly against his body. She moaned into his mouth as she bit down on his bottom lip and elicited a groan from him. He backed her further into the kitchen until her back hit the fridge and moved his hands lower, finding her thighs and she helped him lift her so that her legs were wrapped around his waist and she parted from him for breath. Panting deeply, Q let his forehead fall against hers.

"I've missed this," he confessed to her. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too," Alison said to him. "And as much as I quite like this position, the sauce on the stove is threatening to burn."

"I'll turn it off," Q said, managing to keep Alison against him as he reached to turn the hob off.

"It'll go cold," Alison complained.

"I've lost my appetite," Q confessed. "Well…for food…but only if you want to. I don't want to do anything that you're not comfortable with."

Alison shook her head. "I'm fine," she promised him, pushing her fingers through her hair and he shuddered at the feeling of her scraping along his scalp. "I just…go slow," she said to him and he nodded his head as he kissed her gently once more.

"Anything for you," he whispered and Alison went back to enjoying his kisses, closing her eyes and feeling relief that things had started to be mended between them.

...

A/N: Not sure if anyone is still interested in me continuing this into No Time To Die. If you are do let me know!