Alison had tried to pretend that everything was fine. She had tried to pretend that what Q's mother had said didn't matter and that it was just the words of a concerned parent. She tried to persuade herself that everything would be alright, but she didn't know if it would be because the fact was that Alison was nervous. She knew it was ridiculous and she had spoken to Madeline about it numerous times before. She kept on telling Q that she just needed time before they tried for another child, but it turned out that she was the only one who needed time. She was seeing a therapist after admitting that the miscarriage had taken its toll on her more than she had thought.

She had asked Q if he agreed with her and he always said that the time would be right when they were both ready, but it turned out that he was ready. He was more than ready to try and again and she was holding him back. As each month passed by, she kept telling herself that she would be ready that month. She kept trying to persuade herself that it was the right time, but the fear was still there. The fear was still there that she wouldn't be able to carry to a full term and then her mind began wondering to what Q would say.

She could still hear his mother's voice in her head, telling her that she only had so many good years of being fertile left inside of her. Q had demanded for her to leave it be then and Alison had just smiled politely. And then there was the fact that, no matter what they said, she had heard them say how they longed for Q to marry a normal girl, someone with no emotional baggage like that what Alison came with.

And the worst part was that they were right. Sitting on the sofa on a Friday night, Q's head was on a pillow in Alison's lap as he watched television, an arm dangling off the sofa and holding onto the remote. Alison moved her fingers through his hair, stroking it from his forehead as she chewed on the inside of her cheek. Q chuckled at something someone said on the panel show they were watching and then turned to look up to Alison.

He frowned as he saw her lost in thought, her fingers absent-mindedly toying with his hair. Rolling onto his back so he that he could look straight up to her, he tossed the remote onto the coffee table in front of him and reached for her hand from his hair.

"What's going on?" Q asked from her.

"I was just thinking," Alison sad to him, "I might go and visit my dad when it's the half term. Would you mind if I went?"

Q's lips pursed into a line then and he sat up, adjusting himself so that he was facing her and she took the pillow he had been resting on and threw it to the side. He adjusted his glasses on his nose and continued to watch his wife as she tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Are you alright?" he asked her.

"I'm fine," Alison promised him.

"Because you've been acting off for a few weeks now…not completely off…but I just catch you looking worried, like you're thinking about something," Q said and Alison shrugged.

"I guess I'm just feeling guilty that I haven't told my dad that I still talk to Madeleine," she said to Q and that seemed to appease him. She did feel guilty about that. Of course she felt guilty about that, but that wasn't the main reason why she was struggling recently. "I wanted to go and see him and tell him. At least he can't kick me out while I'm with him in Jamaica, can he?"

"I should think not," Q said to her and nodded his head thoughtfully. "I can book some time off work to come with you, but the issue might be that I think we have a number of holiday's booked in the half term because people have families and so always want the same weeks off."

"You don't need to," Alison said to him, not wanting to sound too pushy. "Besides, if I am going to talk to him about Madeleine then you might be better off out of the firing line."

"You do have a point on that," Q agreed with her and watched as she curled her legs underneath her body and turned her attention back to the TV. He continued observing her, drinking in her features and scrutinising her. "And that's the only thing bothering you?" he checked with her.

"Yeah," she said, looking back to him with a nod and a smile that seemed too forced. Q's gaze narrowed on her and he felt there was something wrong. He could feel it in the pit of his stomach. He'd been feeling it for quite some time, but had pushed it away. He told himself that he was imagining it. Alison would tell him if something was bothering her. They had promised each other that there would be no secrets between them.

"Really?" Q continued to push.

"Really," she echoed back to him and moved so that she could rest her head against his shoulder, leaning against him as he moved his arm around her, feeling her burrow against his side. "You know how my dad can be though so I guess that's making me apprehensive."

"He's your dad. He'll not be angry for long."

"I hope not."

…

Alison landed in Jamaica early in the morning. She had tried to sleep on the flight over, but had struggled. She had been stuck in a row with a talkative older woman and a couple who were going on their honeymoon. She had tried to nap, but each time she dozed off, one of her flying partners wanted to move to the aisle or nudged her. Plus there was the issue of anyone walking down the aisle basically bumping into her. She wondered if her dad had a point when he said that first class was much more comfortable as she looked towards it with envy as they disembarked from the plane.

She waited for her case and instantly the heat began to get to her. She shrugged out of the denim jacket she had worn on the flight and held it over her arm. Grabbing her silver case as it came round on the conveyor belt, she instantly left for the arrival's lounge, adjusting her backpack on her shoulder. Coming outside, she saw a line of people waiting and then her eyes fell onto her father. He was wearing cream chinos and a black polo shirt, sunglasses on his eyes. He had a sign in his hand and Alison instantly smiled at it.

"I think that's a worse sign than the one I made you," she said as she approached him.

"I take that as an insult," Bond said to his daughter and tossed it into the bin next to him before wrapping her into his arms. "How was your flight, kiddo?"

"Hell," Alison said to him and he took her suitcase from her. "But I'm here now and looking forward to seeing where you're living."

"Come on then, I've parked just out here," Bond said and he walked with her to the car he had bought.

Alison climbed into the passenger side as James drove through the streets, Alison transfixed at drinking in everything they passed. The roads soon quietened down, however, and they drove through countryside, dust flying behind them from the car's tyres. Pulling up to the cabin that Bond had made into his home, Alison looked at it. It looked nice and chic, pretty modern too. But what held her attention even more was the fact that it was overlooking the ocean.

"This is incredible, dad," she said to him and he watched her head on past the house and down the side of it until she was on the decking that went out to sea. He followed her, dragging her suitcase with him once he had grabbed it from the back of the car.

"It's quite something," he agreed with her, not wanting to tell her that it was the home he had hoped to share with Madeleine.

"The water is so clear," Alison said, crouching down and peering into its depths.

"I spend most nights sat out here with a nice chilled beer and then my mornings swimming…or taking my boat out. I was going to take you out tomorrow and try to teach you how to fish."

Alison chuckled at hearing him say that. "Teaching me to fish? You think I'll be any good at that?"

"Absolutely not," Bond said to her and she nudged him in the ribs. "But I think you'll just enjoy being out on the water."

"I'm looking forward to it," Alison said.

"Come on, I'll show you where you're staying and you can freshen up. No doubt you'll want to change after being stuck on a plane for hours on end."

"You know me so well."

Bond opened the back door, dropping his keys onto the sideboard and showing her the guest room that he had always intended on her using. It had a sea view and its own en-suite, Alison questioning if she would even want to go home after being there. Bond left her to freshen up and went back to sit outside, looking out over the water and wondering just what it was his daughter was hiding from him.

…

Q hated returning to an empty house. Alison was usually always home before him. He would sometimes find her showering after going on an evening run or she would be finishing her work in her office. He looked around the large empty space and frowned, sighing and dropping his hands to his hips as he wondered what he should do. She had been gone for just over a day. She had called him when she had arrived, telling him how she was sat on a balcony overlooking the ocean and he had to admit that he was slightly jealous. But he knew she needed time alone with her father. Plus, he wouldn't have been able to get time off work anyway.

He was about to move to find something to eat for dinner when there was a knock on the door. He groaned and headed over to it, looking at the intercom and seeing a familiar face. He frowned, but buzzed her into the house. He opened the porch door and she looked at him with a similar look of confusion.

"Is Alison alright?" Madeleine asked from him.

"She's gone to visit Bond in Jamaica," Q said to her. "Did she not tell you?"

"It must have slipped her mind," Madeline said. "We were supposed to be heading out for coffee. I tried calling her but got no response and so I thought I would come out this way to see if she was alright."

"Things don't usually slip Alison's mind," Q said to her.

"Well, I imagine she has a lot going on," Madeleine responded and Q wondered what she meant by that. Motioning behind her, she began to turn on her heel. "I should get going then. I just wanted to make sure she was alright."

"Madeline, wait," Q urged before she could make it to the front door. He clung onto the door in the porch and watched as she turned to look to him and he sighed, knowing that he had to do something to get rid of the feeling he had in his gut. "Has Alison said anything to you?"

"About what?" she wondered.

"Anything…nothing…" Q said, wondering if he was clasping at straws. "It's just that recently I've felt as though she's been keeping something from me. She constantly looks distracted and there are times when it seems like…there's something on her mind…but she doesn't want to burden me with it."

Madeleine chewed down on her bottom lip as she heard Q speak and she knew that Alison hadn't taken her advice to talk to him about her worries after what she had heard his mother say. "I think you had best talk to her, Q," Madeleine decided to say.

"That's the issue," Q replied. "I have tried to talk to her, but I don't get anything out of her."

"I don't want to get involved," Madeleine said. "She's my friend...she's...like family...I can't betray her, Q."

"I know," Q promised her. "But I'm worried about her and I don't know what is going on if she won't talk to me out of some misplaced sense of not wanting to worry me. Please, Madeleine. You know I wouldn't ask if I wasn't worried."

Madeleine took a moment to think about what it was she should do before she nodded her head and agreed with Q. She nodded towards the entranceway. "Can I come in?" she asked him and he nodded, all too eager to let her pass by.

…

"Dad, I don't think I'll catch anything," Alison said to her father, holding onto the piece of string as she sat in the boat he had bought. She frowned as Bond sat next to her, holding his own piece of string.

"You need to be patient."

"We've been out here for almost two hours," Alison said. "How much more patient do I have to be?"

James simply smiled at her comments and she sighed, folding one leg over the other as she adjusted the long, yellow summer dress she wore. She had made certain that it was the right length to hide the scars on her legs that she had gotten when she had been burned at Skyfall. She had tied her hair into a high ponytail on the top of her head, her neck still sweating as the sun beat down on them and she wished she had bought a sunhat. She had been constantly applying sun cream to try and avoid getting burnt, but she could feel her shoulders warming up and she saw them turning red.

"So…" Bond drawled. "Are you going to tell me what's going on or do I have to try and get it out of you?"

Alison said nothing, not bothering to deny it from him. She knew what she should start with. "Promise me that you won't throw me out of this boat when I do tell you," she urged from him.

He arched a brow. "It depends on what's happened."

"It's Madeleine," Alison said, finally blurting it out to him. "She's living in London again."

Nodding once, Bond looked out to sea. "I see." He mumbled. "And how would you know this?"

Alison sighed, taking a deep breath before admitting the truth. She knew that this might be the straw to break the camel's back. "She came to see me months ago and we've stayed in touch ever since," Alison said to her father. "She still maintains that SPECTRE set her up and she misses you. I know that she misses you. She hasn't found anyone else."

"You've been seeing her?" Bond checked with his daughter, a tone of hurt in his voice.

"I'm sorry," Alison said. "I just didn't know how to tell you after what happened before my wedding. I didn't want to fall out with you, dad. I never want to fall out with you…but Madeleine…she's innocent, dad. If she was working with SPECTRE then why would she be in London? Why would she have a job as a therapist?"

"You still didn't tell me that you'd been talking to her," Bond said. "That's the bit that hurts the most."

"I'm sorry," Alison said to him. "And I want to try and do something to get you two together, but I don't know if I can…just…I just want you to believe me that she's telling you the truth."

Bond clucked his tongue and looked out into the distance. He was silent and Alison's grip on the string she held increased as she watched him. Unable to take the silence, she spoke in a hushed tone.

"Talk to me, dad, please," she urged from him.

"I'm annoyed, Alison," he admitted. "But I don't want to argue with you over this, not again. You're clearly too stubborn to change your mind and I'm not going to change my mind. I don't want to talk about her again while you're here, is that understood?"

"Clearly," Alison said, relieved that he hadn't turned the boat around and demanded for her to go and pack her things.

They lapsed back into silence and Bond watched as she looked out to the ocean. He began to pack up the fishing equipment, well aware they weren't going to catch anything and he spoke once again.

"And is that everything?" he asked her. "Because you still look like you have this massive weight on your shoulders."

"It's nothing."

"I'll be the decider of that," Bond said and he sank down to sit next to her as she pulled at the straps to her summer dress and he moved a hand to take hold of one of hers. "Because every time I talk to you it is like you have something that you want to discuss, but you don't know how to."

"I just didn't know how to bring it up on the phone, especially with Q listening in," Alison confessed to her father.

"Is everything alright between you two?"

"If it isn't then it's my fault," Alison said. "I…his parents came around to visit us when I was sick with the flu. I overheard him talking to his mother about me. She…she wasn't being nasty. In fact, she said nothing that wasn't true and I get that she is a concerned parent. I totally appreciate that."

"What did she say?" James asked.

"Just how she wondered if I was alright," Alison said to her father. "Q, apparently, has been ready to try for another child for a while, but I haven't been and I've kept putting it off. I'm not even going to try and deny it. I've been scared, but I've been seeing someone…a therapist…" Alison confessed. "She told me that it is perfectly fine to be nervous, but I can't let fear take over. I was slowly coming round to the idea of trying again, but then when I heard him and his mum talking about me, it kind of pushed me back."

"Why?"

"Because she was saying all of these things about how she just wanted Q to be happy and she felt that they didn't know me too well…she knows I've had a bad past…what with mum being killed and she's heard about my nightmares as well. I do think she likes me, but I do think she wishes that Q could have been with someone who comes with less baggage than I do."

"What you have been through it not your fault," Bond said to his daughter, voice firm as he squeezed her hand. "And if you are nervous about trying for a child then I can understand that."

"Because what if it happens again? What if there is something wrong with me that the doctors can't find? And…if…Q really wants a child and if I can't give him that-"

"-Do you think that Q would abandon you?" Bond interrupted her and she shook her head.

"I know that he wouldn't," she said to her father. "But what if his mother was right? What if he just met a nice, normal girl and had a quiet life?"

"He wouldn't give you up for anything," Bond assured his daughter, a hand moving to her cheek and bringing her gaze to meet his. Looking her in the eye, he ran his thumb along her cheekbone. "You know that, Alison. Why did you not talk to him about this?"

"Because it was a conversation between him and his mother. I shouldn't have even heard it. He knows that I've been seeing a therapist, but he doesn't pry." Alison said to her father. "And I know I've been an idiot and should have talked to him."

"You haven't been an idiot," James promised her, embracing her tightly and holding her to him. "You've just not dealt with this as you perhaps should have. And it isn't a case of you giving Q a child. You're worth more to him than just giving him a child…and it has to be a decision you both want. You have to both want to become parents."

"And we do," Alison said. "I just worry about being able to do it."

"And your therapist is right," James said, pulling back and brushing a stray tear from her cheek onto his thumb. "You cannot let fear hold you back."

Nodding, she understood what he was saying as he le her burrow against his shoulder and he sighed, a hand running down her ponytail as he wondered just what it was he should do.

…

Alison found herself swimming in the ocean four days into her trip. The morning sun was beating down on her as she floated there, letting her hair get wet and her limbs relax. She didn't know if she had ever felt such peace when her thoughts were pushed to the side and she focused on just enjoying the sun and the sea. She soon began treading water as she heard her father's voice call her name. Looking to see him on the decking, she wondered what was going on as he looked to the side. Following his gaze, her eyes landed on someone she hadn't expected to see.

He looked out of place, dressed in a short sleeved shirt with navy trousers and brown shoes on his feet. Alison swam to the wooden decking and climbed out of the water, hauling herself onto it and standing up. Water dropped from her body as she looked to where Q stood on the other side of the decking, her father in between them.

"Q," Alison said his name.

"I called your father last night and found out where he was living," he said to her and dropped his bag onto the floor alongside his satchel. Moving closer to Alison, he heard Bond mumble.

"I'll take your bag in and give you two some space," he said and scurried off, looking to the pair of them as they watched each other for a few moments.

Alison reached for the beach towel on the chair next to her and wrapped it around herself, covering her black swimsuit she wore with a low back. She pulled her hair from underneath the towel and frowned.

"What are you doing here?" she asked him.

He pushed his glasses further onto his nose from where they had slipped down due to him sweating so much. "Well, I've come to get my wife back," Q said to her.

"I…I don't understand," Alison replied.

"Madeleine told me everything," Q said. "She told me what you overheard. She told me how you were scared of disappointing me and that's why you're reluctant to try again…scared that you think I'll somehow see this blinding light and come to a realisation that I don't want you but someone else…"

Alison's eyes widened. "She told you?" she checked.

"Well you didn't," Q said to her and he shook his head. "What happened to not keeping secrets, Alison? What happened to telling each other the truth?"

"I thought that I…I didn't want to say anything…it had been a conversation between you and your mum, Q, and I didn't want you to be upset with her because she's your mum and then I began wondering if she had a point, if I should have just left-"

"-Don't you dare continue that sentence," Q interrupted, his voice a low growl as he stepped towards her. "Alison, I will never want anyone else. There will never be anyone else for me except for you."

"But what if I can't…what if something goes wrong…"

"Then we will cross that bridge when we come to it, but we might not come to it," Q told her. "And the fact that you are so worried about me…disappointing me…you could never do that, Alison. You need to think of yourself too. I love that you put me first, I really do, but the fact is that this is a big decision and we both need to be ready."

"I am," Alison said to him, feeling the chill as she dried off from the water and she wished. "I'm just nervous."

"And that's fine. It's perfectly fine to be nervous," Q assured her. "But what isn't fine is to keep it from me, Alison. We don't do secrets, you know that."

"I know," Alison said. "I just didn't want to upset you."

Q sighed and shook his head. Taking a step forwards, he moved his arms to wrap around his wife, not caring that she was wet as she nestled her face against the crook of his neck, his cheek pressing to the side of her head as he moved a hand to cradle the back of it softly in his palm.

"You could never upset me," Q promised her. "I just need you to talk to me. I need you to open up to me."

"I know," she said to him. "I'm sorry, Q. I'm really sorry."

"Don't apologise," Q whispered, his grip on her tightening and he bowed his head. "Just talk to me…always talk to me."

"I will," she nodded against him.

"I love you, Alison," he said. "Nothing will ever change that."

...

A/N: I have the next three chapters written out and we're really about to get into No Time To Die. I am worried I am updating too fast, so please do let me know if you think I am and I can slow down! As always, would love your thoughts and ideas!