Author's Note: Sorry for the delay in updating! School and some medical issues took over my life these past few months, but I'm back! (No thanks to COVID-19)

Peace never lasted long. At least, not in Saiki's world. No matter how hard he tried to live his life as normally and dully as possible, trouble had a way of finding him again.

It started like always. Nendou, Kuboyasu, and Kaidou had crowded his desk before class started, and were chatting about something truly inane (of course, Saiki knew exactly what they were talking about, but he liked to pretend he could actually tune them out). Mera was crouched on the floor, trying to steal some poor sap's lunch, while Aiura happily performed another round of psychic readings on a group of giggling underclassmen. Yumehara was consulting a notebook filled with potential new crushes, hemming and hawing as she filed down her creepily prepared list (if anything, her short recovery time has to be admired). Hairo was ineffectually trying to command the attention of the room, having been dragged out of his ill-formed plan (and, subsequently, the nurse's office) by Mr. Matsuzaki this morning, still looking a bit dehydrated.

It was calm. Too calm.

"Oh!"

Saiki straightened up, looking around the classroom. Nobody had moved.

"Eh? Saiki, what's up?" Kaidou asked.

"Nothing," he quickly dismissed. Maybe someone dropped their textbook and "oh'ed" out of surprise. Yeah. That was all.

"Ah, okay." Kaidou rejoined the conversation, which had now shifted to discussing the ending of some newly released video game. Another reason why Saiki sticks to the discount pile.

Then, louder this time –

"Oh!"

It was a gasp of surprise, though there was a tangential undertone of joy. It echoed inside Saiki's head, each overdramatic ring bringing new irritation.

Maybe Peanuts Ueda had arrived for another impromptu visit? It was possible – after all, Saiki rarely spared the school calendar a second glance. Or even a first glance, for that matter.

Whatever it was (and no, Saiki was most definitely in not denial, he was just exploring his options here, really) was starting to affect the class, with those closest to the door instinctually tensing their arms and adopting a shifty-eyed demeanor reminiscent of a recovering junkie looking for their next fix.

"Oh!" "Oh!" "Oh!" A chorus line of gasps reverberated down the adjoining hallway, each one louder than the last.

It was unmistakable now. Teruhashi was back.

Good grief.

"Good morning, everybody!" The door was opened by an adoring member of Teruhashi's fan club, while Teruhashi herself posed in the doorframe. A breeze whipped her hair around in an appealing fashion (where is that coming from? None of the windows are open) and her signature shine was so bright that the students surrounding her had no choice but to shield their eyes. "Let's do our best today!"

"Yes, Teruhashi!" Everybody (sans Saiki) replied with enthusiasm.

"Teruhashi!" Another member of the fan club scurried up to her, clutching a pad of paper in his shaking hands. "I wrote a poem about your absence. Would you like to hear it?"

"Of course," Teruhashi smiled pleasantly, provoking a dreamy sigh out of the lovestruck lad. Ugh, this better not take too long. I want to say "hi" to Saiki and make him say "oh!"

Please, let this take too long.

"Oh, dear Teruhashi, how to phrase the sorrow your absence brought upon our hearts? One can only say…"

I wish Makoto wasn't such an idiot, Teruhashi groaned internally, evidently not caring to listen to her newest accolades, inviting me to watch him film for a new guest role, only to lock me up in a hotel room for three days! It was for my favorite tv-show too! Why can't I have a nice, normal brother instead of that certified f-

Hmm. Saiki watched in curiosity as Teruhashi managed to keep her face as pleasant as ever while her mind took a turn for the worst. Those words are definitely not fit for a 'general audience.'

"…signed, your no.53 fan," the boy finished, a gleeful exuberance on his face. "Did you like it?"

I have no idea what he just said. Oh well. "It was very poetic." Teruhashi smiled. "Thank you very much."

The boy let out another smitten "Oh!" as Teruhashi sashayed away, her trajectory now deadest on Saiki and his companions.

"Teruhashi!" Kaidou called out gleefully. "How was your trip?"

"Oh, it was fun," Teruhashi answered pleasantly. "How was your week?"

It definitely wasn't better than mine, even though I can admit that mine didn't go perfectly. After all, I wasn't there to bless them with my presence.

If Teruhashi leaves a room, do all the occupants cease to exist in her mind?*

"J-just the usual, you know," Kaidou stuttered, the single-minded attention of Teruhashi too much for any one man to bear casually, "there was a marathon of Joker: The Magic Eye Detective and we all went to that café Mera works at and – "

"That sounds very interesting, Kaidou, but I really need to talk to Saiki right now before class starts," Teruhashi said, her characteristic charm masking any of the rudeness that could be found from her words alone, "you can finish telling me during lunch, okay?"

"Oh-Okay!"

Teruhashi smirked and focused her determined gaze on Saiki.

Usually, I'd be planning a way to avoid Teruhashi's advances, but I already know it's taken care of. Sometimes, being an abnormal teenage psychic does have its advantages.

As predicted, Teruhashi couldn't even get a word in before the classroom door slammed open. Two black-tied bodyguards quickly followed, rolling out a lavish red carpet for their self-centered boss to enter with. And enter Saiko did.

"Peasants! I have arrived!" Saiko threw up his arms, accompanied by a spray of confetti from his bodyguards' party poppers, and flashed his classmates a smug grin.

Still better than dealing with Teruhashi's misguided attempts at flirting, Saiki thought, if it could even be called that.

Saiko's entrance proved to be less well-received than Teruhashi's, with the students quickly returning to their previous activities with little more than a universal, "Ugh, seriously. This guy."

"Hmph." Saiko seemed to take the rejection in stride (a testament to his character development, surely) and only paid off six classmates to clap for him after he redid his entrance. Evidently, money could buy both party poppers and a man's dignity.

"Saiko, you're late!" Kuboyasu shouted, only to be smacked in the face by a wad of cash. "For the last time, you can't just buy me off with money!"

"It was worth a shot." Saiko shrugged, and sidled up to join the group surrounding Saiki's desk. "After all, it's not like that paltry sum of money matters to me."

Kuboyasu looked like he wanted to say more, but Kaidou quickly silenced him with an elbow to the side. "Aren, remember, if we pay attention to him, we lose."

"Midget plebe, was that directed to side-part plebe or were you trying to address me?" Saiko asked, wearing a look of boredom on his naturally pretentious face. "I usually tune people out if they have a net worth under 3 million yen but since I'm already here, I've decided to actually listen to your mediocre ramblings."

"Why, you-"

They've lost.

"That's enough peasant talk for today." Saiko coolly waved Kaidou off, before turning towards the real reason he had decided to actually attend school.

"Teruhashi, will you allow yourself the pleasure of attending a welcome-back party at my mansion?" Saiko asked, before quickly adding in, "50,000 sq. meters. 115 rooms. 3 pools. Indoor shopping mall. Helicopter launch pad on the roof."

What is this, a real-estate ad?

"Thank you for the invitation, Saiko, but I -" What am I supposed to do? A day at Saiko's mansion sounds great, but I promised myself I wouldn't be swayed by his riches. For Saiki, and my friends!

Saiki found this proclamation much less endearing than anyone else would have. It's fine to sell-out. He's bought around half the people in this school.

Before Teruhashi could finish formulating a response, Nendou jumped in. "That sounds like a lot of fun, buddy, I can't wait to come!"

"Hold on, we can all attend?" Kaidou looked around and seemingly found his affirmation in Nendou's blank, beady eyes, as he quickly exclaimed, "I'll come too! Y'know, just because I have nothing better to do."

"I guess it could be fun," Kuboyasu grumbled, with all the reluctance of a shonen manga's first arc villain being recruited to join the hero's team.

"Will there be food?" Mera asked, somehow having snuck her way into the conversation after having successfully stolen Takahashi's lunch.

"Hah, of course there will be! Any party at my mansion is catered by our in-house restaurant, which boasts 3 stars on the Michelin guide!" Saiko said, so absorbed in his bragging that he almost forgot that he was only supposed to invite Teruhashi. Almost. "Hey, wait a second-"

"Well, if all my friends are coming, then I'll come to!" Teruhashi smiled. With both my good looks and Saiko's riches, I'll totally be able to make Saiki say "oh!"

There goes my chances of a normal Thursday.

AN: *"If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" A phrase I was trying to reference there.