They slept in late and Buffy woke up slowly. Giles was curled up against her, his front to her back. One of his arms was wrapped around her waist. From the steady breaths skimming across the back of her neck, he was still asleep.
She realized with a giddy grin that she may have worn him out a bit the night before.
Holy shit.
She'd slept with Giles. As in, had full on adult funky funtimes. And it was really, really good. She chewed on her bottom lip as she tried to put everything into some kind of perspective.
They loved one another, of that there was never a moment of doubt. And when she was younger, she'd thought of him as almost a father figure. Not in an authority kind of way - because she certainly never listened - but in the bandaging her cuts and being occasionally (annoyingly) overprotective kind of way. But it had been years since then. Years and another death and a resurrection and a lot of painful life lessons.
He'd been her friend for much longer. Her partner, coach, and ally.
And sometimes less of an ally than she'd have liked. He still had some explaining left to do for that, as far as she was concerned. She'd forgiven him, of course. Because he was too important to her not to forgive, not to keep in her heart no matter how mad or frustrated he could make her. Didn't mean she didn't still want answers.
The idea of loving him physically hadn't struck her until recently. Though she couldn't place full blame on the dreams. After a lot of lonely nights in a castle surrounded by mostly other young women, her fantasy life had gotten a lot more… expansive.
Her teenage self would be horrified. She'd once been less than enthused to even think of Giles as having sexual urges. Although in retrospect, she wondered if she'd been overcompensating just a little. Telling herself the very thought of it was gross.
And yet waking up naked in his arms now felt oddly normal. Comfortable. Almost inevitable. As if they'd loved one another in every way but this one so it was just a natural progression.
Not that she was picking out matching hand towels or anything.
This was just a thing that had happened between them because it felt right. Two consenting adults who happened to discover they were ridiculously sexually compatible. While one of them was having dreams about the other possibly dying in some weird mystical way.
Oh God, she had completely lost sight of her original purpose in visiting. Why was lust always such a distraction?
"I can feel you thinking," he muttered, not unkindly.
"Nuh uh," she cleverly countered, rolling over to face him.
He gave her a soft, sleepy smile.
Something in the vicinity of her heart felt like it was doing a little somersault. She smiled back.
His eyes roved her face a moment and he swallowed audibly before speaking. "Breakfast?"
"Hmmm," she rolled onto her back, stretching languidly. The cover slipped below one breast and she noted with satisfaction how Giles's gaze dipped to her chest before returning to her face. "I am hungry. But getting out of bed seems so much less important than that."
"I could bring you something."
There was an eager, almost plaintive note in his voice that felt like just a little too much. She sat up, pulling the blanket with her, as much for warmth as for modesty. "You've done all the cooking and everything so far. How about I take you to breakfast today? Wherever you like. My treat."
"That's very kind but you are still my guest. If we're going out, I would prefer to pay." He sat up as well, reaching to the side of the bed (ostensibly for his glasses). He shook his head slightly and dropped his empty hand back into his lap.
She rolled her eyes fondly. "You know if you try to arm wrestle me for the bill, I might accidentally embarrass you in front of your neighbors. I'm just saying."
"Accidentally. I'm sure." His mouth twisted wryly but his eyes were dancing with amusement. "Well, we ought to get the day started sooner rather than later." He looked around. "Once I figure out what on earth we, um, did with my pants."
Buffy scanned the room. Leaning over her side of the bed, she spotted an unfamiliar article of clothing. "Oop, think I found them!" She crawled forward and scooped them up, turning to hold them out to their owner.
It was then that she was reminded she was completely nude herself and she had just given Giles quite the eyeful.
His chest was rising and falling with visibly more force than before and his mouth was hanging open. In a word, he looked dumbstruck.
This tickled her far more than it should and she covered her mouth to suppress a laugh. "Should I get dressed first?"
"I may," he cleared his throat, "I may need a moment, yes." He clutched the cover up a little higher.
This time she couldn't stop herself from giggling. The whole situation was just beyond absurd. Here was one of the most composed, reserved men she'd ever met. A man who had recently become intimately acquainted with her anatomy in an unexpectedly skillful (and toe-curling) way. And one little peek had him too excited to move.
If her stomach wasn't starting to gnaw with hunger, she'd be very tempted to whip that sheet out of his hands and…
Nope. Naughty thoughts would have to wait.
"The dream was different last night," she said as she got up, trying to focus on very non-sexy things like putting on deodorant and socks.
"Oh?"
She filled him in on the way she'd been able to hold onto his hands in the dream, instead of passing through them like a ghost. How dream-Giles had seemed more apologetic than frightened this time. How dream-Buffy seemed more aware of the pattern and recognized that this wasn't the first time.
"And you said some other weird things but," she frowned as she pulled on her jeans from the day she'd arrived, "I dunno. I feel like I should remember but it's just not there." A sigh of frustration. "I'm sorry."
"It's quite alright. Any new information is worth having." The location of his voice has changed and she turned to find him standing in his boxers and shirt, holding his pajama pants in one hand. "I, uh, I'd like to try some magic today. If you're amenable."
She shrugged one shoulder, sauntering over toward him. "I mean, everything was working for me already but I guess if you wanna make with the kinky so soon, I'm game."
He colored all the way to the tips of his ears this time. "Um. I meant for the dream. Dream walking. That sort of thing." He inclined his head with the hint of a grin, his voice dropping a register. "Though I do appreciate your open mindedness."
Her turn to flush. They both grinned a little foolishly at one another. After a moment of hesitation, Giles placed a swift kiss on her cheek before excusing himself to his room for a change of clothes.
So flirting was a thing they could totally do now, too. If she thought about it, they'd always sort of teased one another for fun. Except now, it gave her the warm tinglies in a very different way.
And yeah, she could live with that.
After breakfasting at a lovely little cafe around the corner, they returned to the parlor with some books on magic and other various items that Giles had pulled from a locked chest.
"Afraid they might escape?" She gestured to the complicated lock.
"The wards at my door will keep out most things supernatural. But anything that makes it past those should definitely be kept out of the magic artifacts," he had explained, handing her yet another heavy black candle.
They moved the furniture and ornate rug into the corners of the room and Giles began to draw intricate designs on the floor. Some were vaguely familiar to her from having witnessed so much magic over the years. Others were inscrutable to her untrained eye. But Giles drew carefully with a sure and expert hand. She felt safe, watching him in his element.
He stretched across the protective circle, t-shirt riding up at the back and denim clinging tight.. Buffy tilted her head wondering how she'd never realized before that her Watcher had a surprisingly nice ass.
He cleared his throat and she saw him looking at her over one shoulder with a bemused expression.
"What?" She grinned back, all wide eyed innocence.
"Nothing." He smiled down at the rune he was finishing. "Actually, if you could hand me the tallest candle, please."
She continued following his instructions as he finished the pattern, fetching and carrying as needed. When it was done, he directed her to lay at the center, holding a talisman he'd selected from a velvet bag. He sat crosslegged, just within arm's length, an open book on his lap.
"It's your anchor back to reality, you see," he explained, as she turned the odd shaped talisman over in her fingers. "You'll keep it on you and if anything feels unsafe, you prick your finger with this end and it should bring you right back."
"And while I'm going all lucid disney princess, you'll be?"
"I'll be here. Keeping the spell intact."
"Keeping watch," she pointed out.
"Yes, that concept was not lost on me." He took of his glasses and looked through each lens speculatively.
Impulsively, she grabbed his ankle and he looked down at her. "We've got this, right? All safe and sound?"
"I would never venture where I did not think I could keep you safe, Buffy." He held up another object similar to the one she was clutching in her other hand. "Safety net. If you are having any trouble coming back, this will connect us so I can come and get you."
"So, you're not gonna kiss me awake?" She batted her lashes up at him.
Returning his glasses to their place, he covered her hand with his and stroked his thumb along the side. "I could do a lot more than that. When we get this sorted."
A very pleasant shiver ran through her at the promise in his voice. "I'll hold you to that."
Several different emotions seemed to flicker across his face in rapid succession but he simply gave her hand a squeeze before lifting it to his mouth and kissing her fingertips. "Safe journey."
Once her arm was fully back in the circle, her eyes closed to aid her concentration, he began to chant. It was something slow and steady, almost melodic. The last completely conscious thought she had was how she'd wanted to ask him to play guitar for her and sing.
They were walking shoulder to shoulder - or her head to his shoulder given the height difference. Her stake was warm and solid in her hand. He'd finished saying something about words.
"Which words?" She repeated it like a script.
"Yes. Those too."
Oh, this time that made more sense. Witch words. Hey, look at that, she was even punny in her dreams.
"Words have power," she said, knowing it was her cue, frowning and scanning the distance.
Unleashing Slayer senses in a dream state was unnerving because the input was so inconsistent. In the real world, there was always ambient noise, rustling of small animals and the chirping and buzzing of insects. When she hunted, she'd learned to hone in on what was discordant or sounded dangerous and tune out the rest. In a dream, nothing made noise unless some part of her unconscious remembered it that way. Not even their feet in the grass.
It was like walking in a vacuum.
There was that tickling sense of something being Out There but it felt different, this time. Maybe because she'd brought her whole awareness with her, instead of just being Dream Buffy.
"The right words can sometimes have too much power." Giles wasn't speaking, only he was. She could feel his warm breath against the shell of her ear though he was still at her side. His voice was low, seductive. Much moreso than she remembered from previous dreams.
She was going to stumble next but she couldn't predict exactly when. Besides, maybe she needed to play things out just as before. Her foot slid forward and Giles caught her, pulling her back toward him.
She turned in his embrace and saw that look she now recognized from the face of the Real Deal. It was still so new and thrilling that she felt herself go all gooey inside, even though she'd been expecting it.
"Hey," she said, laying a hand on his chest, over his heart, "it's okay. I think it's supposed to be like this." This time, she didn't waste time letting it build, letting him pull away. She raised up on her toes and kissed him.
Dream Giles started in surprise but kissed her back, wrapping her in his arms. While she kissed him, she started to hear his voice, softly at first, and then louder.
"Timeo quod amo. Tell me to stop. Buffy. This is a very bad idea. Tell me to stop, Buffy. Timeo quod amo. Can't. You have to understand. Buffy. Can't. Stop. Can't stop. Buffy. Please."
Dream Giles pulled away roughly, pushing her back with unexpected strength. His eyes were wide and wild. "What do you want from me?"
"I. I don't know," she admitted. "This is all really new. And it's confusing. But it feels good, doesn't it? Doesn't it feel, I dunno, right, somehow? Like it was meant to happen?"
"What does it mean?" He frowned at her, the worry line in his forehead on prominent display.
"How should I even know? It's not like you ever tell me what you're thinking. How you feel. I know you want me too. Last night was proof enough." She knew she wasn't talking to the dream anymore but it was so much easier to tell him like this. "I don't even really know how long I've felt this way. Everything happened so fast." A lump rose in her throat, tears burning at the backs of her eyes. "And what's fucked up is that it took us this… this dream thing to get here. I mean, look at us. You're the realest thing in my life right now. Not even real you but this," she gestured at Dream Giles, "this version of you in my head that I keep losing over and over. Because that's what you do to me. You make me feel safe and then you leave me. Over and over."
Giles looked around, suddenly nervous. "This is when it comes for me," he told her.
"I know. It takes you away and I can't fight it. I can't keep up. I just collapse and watch you give up. Every damn time. You give up on it. On coming back to me." Buffy sank to the ground as the weight of the realization crushed her. "Oh. Oh that can't be it. All this time. Over a week of this and… that can't be it."
"It's still coming," Dream Giles reminded her, his image beginning to waver. The graveyard around them was growing darker, the graves losing detail and becoming more like protruding rocks in various shapes and sizes.
Buffy pulled her knees to her chest. "It's because he doesn't fight it. He's never even tried."
Dream Giles wavered on the edges, making incoherent sounds of protest.
"And I can't keep being the one to fight. Not every time. It's too exhausting. Sure, I'm young and cute and full of that spunky slayer energy. But I'm also tired. I'm so tired, Giles. I can't keep chasing someone who doesn't want to be saved."
Dream Giles must have solidified again because he was suddenly kneeling by her side. "Nor should you."
She looked at him, not minding her tearstained face. Her subconscious Giles manifestation wouldn't care anyway. "Why does he do that?"
Dream Giles looked about ready to cry, as well, his voice hoarse when he answered. "You've known the answer to that. Or some part of you has. All this time. I heard him say it."
Confused, she shook her head vigorously.
He took a long, shaky breath and raised a hand to cup her face. "Timeo quod amo. I fear because I love."
She felt her eyes widen as the pieces finally all clicked into place. The dream's message had been delivered at last, loud and clear. The sense of Something Out There was gone.
"It's not coming to take you away this time, is it?"
Giles glanced around them, the scenery now a dark, featureless blur. "No. I don't think it is."
"Kiss me, before I wake up again?"
"I could do a lot more than that." He kissed the shocked intake of breath right away from her mouth.
Buffy woke up, one hand empty at her side, the other held tight by Giles, who lay parallel with her on the floor. He was staring up at the ceiling but she could make out the tear tracks running down the side of his face. Her own eyes were wet, her cheeks damp.
"It was you."
His throat bobbed as he swallowed. "Yes."
"You're in love with me."
His eyes shut tight and she watched his chest rise and fall heavily. "Yes."
"Oh." She rolled her head back to face the ceiling, mind still whirling with far too many thoughts to settle on just one. "Well, at least it wasn't a death omen."