By the light coming in the windows, she'd been in the dreamscape a lot longer than she thought. Hours had passed and it was now a gray, drizzly late afternoon.
They hadn't spoken a word as they cleaned up the spell. Giles went to bandage the finger he'd punctured with his talisman. She was curious why hers hadn't worked but it didn't seem the right time to ask. And his silence was catching. So, she held her tongue.
He disappeared into his room and she heard water running so she decided to follow his cue and take a nice hot shower. She adjusted the showerhead to pulse down on her shoulder muscles and stood motionless under it, letting all the jumbled mess in her head slowly try to sort itself. Under the pelting water, she focused on her breath, in through the nose and out through the mouth.
She loved Giles. Had loved him in may different ways for years. But was she 'in love' with him? What would that even look like for them? Would it feel different, somehow?
Had he left the first time because of how he felt? Had he loved her when The First was rising? When he joined a coup against her and tried to have her lover killed? Would he ever even tell her if he had?
Had she fucked up royally by taking him to bed based on a selfish impulse? Had she made it all so much worse?
If she'd never kissed him, would he have ever made a move? Or would he have kept it in that vault he called a heart?
Breathe. In through the nose and hold. Out through the mouth.
In through the nose. Hold.
Out through the mouth.
She couldn't just stay in the shower forever. The water heater was probably about to hit capacity, between the two of them.
Once she'd toweled off and pulled comfy clothes back on, she lay down on the bed and fiddled with her phone. It was the newest tech, picked out by Willow before she took off. The thought of her best friend was a punch to the gut. They hadn't seen one another in months. Between Buffy's Head Slayer duties and Willow's journeys to learn more about magic, they'd been ships in the night for far too long.
And if there was ever a situation that called for a little girl talk time, boy was this ever it. Buffy pulled up Willow's contact, her finger hovering over the call button.
There was a knock at her door.
She set down the phone. "Come in."
Wet haired and wearing his pajama pants again, Giles entered the room slowly. Buffy was reminded of a penitent school boy, the image oddly endearing.
"I wasn't sure if you'd want to see me."
"I do. And I kind of don't. But mostly I do." She looked toward her sloppily unpacked bag. "I need to head home."
He looked up, concerned. "Is everything alright?"
"No apocalypses on the horizon, if that's what you mean. Business as usual back at the castle. Last I checked. But now that we know you're not in, you know, imminent danger… I can't really excuse my absence any more." The explanation sounded lame to her own ears, even though it was technically true.
Giles merely nodded, his expression gone flat. "Of course. I've taken up too much of your time, already."
She rolled her eyes, getting out of the bed and beginning to gather up her belongings. "It's not like that. It's not about you. Or us. It's big picture, world save-y kinda stuff." She fumbled with her travel toothbrush, nearly dropping it before she got it in the carry case. "We have time now. So. No rush to, uh, sort it all out."
"Right." His voice sounded tight, restrained.
Buffy's mouth flattened to a thin line. "I need time, Giles."
"Of course." Softer now, though she could tell he was holding back. "Would you like a ride to the station?"
"I'll call a taxi. Thank you, though." Tears pricked at the backs of her eyes and she blinked them away. She could hear him shifting his weight from one foot to the other, uneasy and tense. She took a deep, calming breath then turned to face him, willing her expression into something vaguely neutral.
"When did you join me in the dream?"
He looked surprised. "I thought you felt me there?"
She shook her head, leaning back against the dresser. "I thought I'd only been gone a few minutes. We walked through the graveyard. I fell and you caught me. Then I kissed you. I mean, the not-you you." Her brow furrowed. "Or was that already you-you?"
"You'd been gone for three hours and I couldn't reach you. I tried but you simply dropped the talisman. And you wouldn't wake up. So, I did what I had to and went in after you." He propped himself up against the doorjamb, hands sliding into his pants pockets. "I didn't mean to… intrude."
She shrugged. "If you hadn't, I might not have figured the rest out."
"Exactly." This, he directed at the floor near her feet.
Desperate not to have that conversation yet, she asked the next question that came to mind. "Do you think the dreams will stop now that we've, um, cracked the code?"
"I suppose you'll find out tonight." He toed at a loose thread in the carpet with one foot. "Your mind may settle a bit, now there's no threat of a death knell. Thank God."
"Thank God," she echoed. "Because if you do up and die on me, Giles, I may just have to kill you."
Finally, he met her eyes again, the ghost of a smile hovering around his mouth and eyes. "I think I believe you mean that."
"Never doubt it for a minute."
The trip back to Scotland was uneventful. She and Giles had shared a rather awkward embrace just before she sprinted for the taxi. She'd wanted to kiss him again but that felt too much like a mixed message just now.
She'd reached out to Willow while she was on the train and her friend had agreed to set up a portal back to the castle and meet her there.
It was past nightfall when she arrived to find Willow pacing in her front room.
"Hey!" The redhead raced to the door and swept her into a hug.
Buffy returned it with gusto, letting her bag drop onto the floor. This was what homecoming should be like every time. Not a hollow, empty suite of rooms but being enfolded by the arms of a loved one. Buffy felt the tension that had ridden back with her in her stomach start to relax. "Hey, yourself, Witchy Woman. How was the Sea Goddess, or whatever?"
Willow giggled and pulled back from the hug, holding onto both of her hands. "Unfathomable."
Buffy made a face. "How long have you been holding onto that one?"
"A few weeks." Willow let go of her hands and pointed to the coffee table. "I ordered in. Greasy, fattening deliciousness."
"You. Are a saint." Buffy flopped onto the couch and started opening Chinese food cartons. "You sure Kennedy doesn't get first dibs?"
"Oh, I got here a few hours ago so I could spend smoochy time first." She sat down next to Buffy and a carton flew into her hand. "Now it's all bestie bonding time." She popped a wonton in her mouth and grinned.
Buffy dropped her head on Willow's shoulder with a sigh of relief before digging into a carton of orange chicken. "I've needed this so bad."
"Yeah, I know you said it wasn't life threatening but you were definitely kinda in-your-head when we talked. What's up?"
Haltingly, Buffy made her way through the the events of the last couple days. She could tell her friend was ready to object to not being called on about the dreams but Buffy assured her it would have been the very next step. Somewhat mollified, Willow sat back and continued listening, chewing and nodding, until Buffy stumbled into the lead up to the first kiss. Willow's hand froze midway to her mouth, noodles sliding through her chopsticks and back into the box. She remained at rapt attention, her eyes growing ever wider, until Buffy reached the part where Giles had done the dream walking spell.
"Oh! I know that one!" Willow interrupted, rising to her knees, her hands fluttering. "Only I'd have given tribute to Morpheus first, just in case."
"I'll be sure he gets the memo for next time," Buffy replied wryly, smiling at her friend's excitement.
"Sorry. Geeking. Back to you." Willow settled back into the sofa, food now forgotten.
Buffy resumed the story, forcing herself not to gloss over the details of the dream, itself. Or what they had revealed.
"Oh. My. God." Willow covered her mouth with one hand.
"Yeah." Buffy's shoulders folded in, her gaze in her lap. "So, I told him I needed space. Called you. And.. here we are."
"Wow." Willow sat quietly for several moments, chewing on her bottom lip. Just long enough for Buffy to start regretting stuffing herself with quite so much chow mein, her stomach now doing little flip-flops. Then Willow looked up, her eyes bright and inquisitive. "So… is he a good kisser?"
Buffy's brows rose nearly to her hairline. "That's your first question? Will, I slept with Giles . Like, had sex. Twice. Kind of."
"Look, I'm a happily satisfied lady with Kennedy but teenage me would never forgive herself - myself? - if I didn't at least ask!" She gave a toothy grin, one hand twirling a hank of her hair.
"You're not nearly as wigged about this as I expected."
"I mean, I'm not saying that it's not weird. Because, hello, it's Giles. But it kinda also makes some kinda sense? Like, it's Mom and Dad of the whole Slayer-Scooby family." Willow's head bobbed side to side, her voice sing-song. Then she paused, baring her teeth in a grimace. "Okay I just heard myself say that and that did make it weird."
"A bit, yeah," Buffy giggled, her flippy stomach easing up at last.
Willow giggled too. "Buffy and Rupert sittin' in a tree…"
Buffy threw a pillow at her. Willow blocked it with magic, tossing it back to her. Buffy blocked it the normal way and it ended up on the floor. She sobered, her mind drifting back to the look on Giles's face as her taxi departed. "Will… am I an asshole for walking out like that? It was just… it was a lot."
The redhead seemed to contemplate this. "No, I don't think it was an asshole type thing. I think it was a confused and need space and to have a grub and gab with your favorite local witchy-pal type thing."
"Which does narrow it down to a pretty uniquely Buffy experience." Buffy inclined her head.
"Besides, like you said. It's Giles." Willow pointed out, reaching for a fortune cookie. "I nearly ended the world and he still welcomed me back with open arms. I don't think he's gonna hold it against you." She snorted and waggled her eyebrows "I mean, unless you want him to."
The evening devolved from there into fits of tawdry glee with bits of earnest conversation sprinkled in. Buffy learned about some of Willow's latest discoveries and shared some of the work she'd been doing with Xander on keeping the Slayer teams better organized. Eventually, they were both beginning to yawn, heads heavily propped in one hand and eyes blinking away sleep.
"You know," Willow said, stretching her head side to side, "I've been thinking about taking Kennedy on a nice mini-break when I'm back for good."
"I'm sure she'll like that." Buffy rubbed her eyes absentmindedly.
"I was thinking maybe we could head down to London Town." Willow looked at her pointedly. "You could always come with."
Buffy made the connection a few seconds later, thanks to her sleepy, frazzled brain. She smiled warmly at her friend, laying a hand on the other girl's arm. "That might be really nice, actually. Thanks."
Willow beamed. "It's a plan, then!"
They said their goodnights and Willow headed back to Kennedy's room as Buffy got ready for bed. Her phone caught her eye, charging on the dresser top. It was beyond late but she had a feeling he'd be awake. Slayer hours tended to change the natural sleep schedule. Before she could think too much more, she pulled up his contact and called.
Giles answered in three rings. "Hello?" His voice was a little thick but she couldn't tell if that was from sleep or drink.
"Look, I remembered you have a phone."
He chuckled. "Demonstrably well. Despite the hour."
"Figured you'd still be up." Buffy paused, cradling the phone gently, and licked her lips. "I'm planning a mini break with Willow and Kennedy. In a couple weeks."
"Oh. That sounds… very nice." Mild confusion he wasn't even trying to hide. Probably Tipsy Giles, not sleepy Giles.
"We thought we'd head down to London. Maybe stay a few days. See some sights."
"Mm." A beat. "Oh. Oh!" The clinking of a glass hitting the wood of a table. "Really?"
"Mm hmm." Now she had his attention. "Don't suppose you know a good tour guide? Someone local who wouldn't mind spending time with a couple slayers and a powerful witch?" She hoped he could hear the smile in her voice. "One slayer in particular."
"It would be my honor," he replied promptly. Then added, "You were, in fact, asking…"
"I was asking you, yes." Her smile spread, a warmth suffusing her that quieted all her remaining tummy rumblings.
"Good."
"Good," she repeated. "I'll uh, I'll see you soon, then."
"Count on it."
Her chest felt light and fluttery with the promise laden in those simple words. Sleepy as she was, it was hard not to blurt out something that she might not be ready to say. Instead she forced a bit of formality. "Well, ok then. Goodnight, Giles."
"Goodnight." He took a breath. "Shall I say sweet dreams?"
She laughed. "Here's hoping."
They hung up and she snuggled into her blankets. Visions danced through her mind of pleasant sunlight reflecting off the Thames, Willow and Kennedy embracing beside her, Giles slipping his hand into hers.
For the first time in days, Buffy slept straight through the night.