"Hello, Anthony"
Her voice was soft and measured, soothing, even.
Crowley wasn't buying it.
He glanced around the room quickly, where the hell was the candlestick? You were supposed to leave it somewhere accessible in case you needed to defend yourself, you idiot.
Oh, but you could put up a good fight, at least you could push her aside and-
"Crowley" Gabriel's voice came from behind, he entered the room and stopped next to her "He prefers Crowley" he looked at the omega and smiled "Crowley, this is Anathema Device, an old friend and a physician, I made her come to check you"
Crowley frowned, trying to process Gabriel's words, which was difficult when his body just wanted to run away.
Gabriel cleared his throat "She already read your papers, so she knows what to look for, yes?"
The alpha -Anathema- nodded and offered a friendly smile. Crowley studied her up and down, she seemed actually seemed friendly. Her clothes were neither very expensive nor cheap; a simple navy blue dress with black ribbons and she wore no jewelry of any kind. He couldn't help but step back anyway.
Gabriel let out a sigh "She won't hurt you Crowley, she's very ... ethical."
Anathema pointed out to Gabriel "Much more ethical than him, in fact"
"Says it the one who studies disgusting corpses" Gabriel scoffed.
Crowley looked at them warily "You ... are ... a doctor?" he questioned incredulously.
The woman raised an eyebrow, and smiled "You doubt it because I am wearing a dress?"
Crowley widened his eyes and shook his head. "N-no! Sorry! I didn't mean to- I didn't mean to offend you, I-" he looked at Gabriel "Didn't wanted to offend h-her"
"Hey, hey, no problem" Anathema raised her hands in a placating gesture "Is all right, there aren't many like me, I now,but it helps to have important friends, hm?"
And being an alpha, Crowley thought. Usually women had as much respect as men ... as long as they were alphas. But, Crowley had never seen a female doctor, granted his knowledge of the world other than the shelter was very limited, but…
But all the doctors he had known throughout his life at the shelter had always been betas, which added another layer of bewilderment.
Crowley didn't like medical checkups, not even with betas.
"Now, please, sit down" the alpha pointed to the bed and directed her attention to the briefcase she had brought with her.
Carefully, Crowley left his place to obey and sit on the bed. He peered at both alphas, Gabriel seemed distracted glancing around the room, perhaps looking for imperfections, and Crowley was vaguely relieved that he had hardly moved anything in the room, he hadn't even unpacked his clothes.
The alpha doctor returned with something in hand, which Crowley was very sure it was object designed to listen to the heart.
"Well, I'll leave you alone then. I'll be in the living room" Gabriel commented as he headed for the door.
Crowley gasped "W-will you leave me alone with another alpha?!" he stood up so suddenly that Anathema almost fell to the side.
Gabriel looked at him, confused "Yes, why ... I trust her, she won't do anything to you"
"B-but, but you can't, you shouldn't, I don't-" he bit his lower lip, he wasn't supposed to tell an alpha what or not to do, alphas could do whatever they wanted. If Gabriel wanted to leave Crowley alone in a bar all night, then he would have to accept it.
Anathema gave Gabriel a look and the alpha let out a snort "Yes, yes, whatever, I'll stay here. I had absolutely nothing else to do" he went back in and crossed his arms, looking disinterestedly at the omega.
"Now, sit down, please?" Anathema asked him patiently.
Slowly, he sat down again, tense and struggling to stay calm, but at least, it feel better to no be totally alone with a strange alpha. Gabriel was strange for him, too, but a little more familiar, at least.
And, alphas were possessive, so surely Gabriel wouldn't like that some doctor touched his property improperly, right? With Gabriel right there, this alpha wouldn't dare, would she?
Crowley felt his stomach rolling in disgust at his own ideas. But that was a fact, right now, he was Gabriel's property, as much as the sole idea made him sick and pathetic.
"Very well, Crowley" Anathema adjusted her glasses and began to check the omega, avoiding touching it when she could.
Crowey couldn't help but recoil from the gentlest of touches, but Anathema didn't seem to lose patience for a moment. At every moment, Crowley would look for Gabriel, just to not lose him from his sight and Gabriel always returned his look with a curious gaze, but nothing more.
"Gabriel said you had a broken rib once?" she questioned as soon as she was done with the cursory check.
Crowley glanced at Gabriel again and then nodded "Yeah."
"How long ago?"
"A year, maybe"
Anathema nodded "Did they treat you well?"
"It doesn't hurt anymore, if that's what you're asking."
Anathema tapped her fingers against her leg "I'm asking if a doctor examined you and if you were treated for it"
"Ah" Crowley scratched his head, uncomfortable "The alpha who d-did it to me, bandaged me when he noticed I wasn't…breathing well, and then left me in the shelter, they put me in bed for a long time"
He could hear Gabriel mutter something, but didn't understand anything he said.
Crowley frowned. "They bring in a doctor to check on everyone every six months or so, so they decided to wait to bring one and have him check me up. He said I was fine."
Anathema looked thoughtful "I see"
Crowley began to run his hands over his thighs almost compulsively, his gaze on the floor "The doctors, when they checked us, we had ... we had to undress and ... that" cautiously he looked up, trying to see the expression of Anathema.
For a moment, she looked confused, then her expression went back to mere neutrality. "I imagine" She adjusted her glasses again "I'm not going to ask that of you, though"
Crowley was relieved, as if a heavy weight on his shoulders had been lifted off him.
"Thanks" he murmured, even though a weak voice in his mind told him there was nothing to be thankful for.
Anathema just nodded "Gabriel also told me that you don't eat well"
Crowley couldn't help but glare at the alpha, feeling somewhat outraged "I-I... I do eat well, I mean ..."
"Eating what you find at three in the morning does not count, honey" said Gabriel from his place.
He hunched over, trying to look smaller. Shame falling on him again, for a moment, he felt incredible furious at the alpha.
Anathema clicked her tongue "Now, now ... Why don't you want to eat? Does something hurt? Nauseous, maybe?"
Crowley simply shook his head.
"Hey, don't lie to your doctors, we are trying to help" she said with an affable tone "I'll ask again, do you feel pain or something?"
"No. I'm just ... I'm not hungry, and if I try to eat when I'm not hungry, I will just feel worse"
She hummed "And in general? How do you feel on a daily basis?"
Crowley shrugged "When I'm not having a nervous breakdown, you mean?"
"Precisely" Anathema nodded.
Crowley shifted awkwardly, thoughtful "I usually get headaches and ..."
"And?" she pressed.
"Sometimes, it's like I forget what I'm doing? Like, sometimes I forget what I was doing a minute ago, like, I'm thinking and while I think I do things without thinking? Or ..."
"Or you don't seem to be present at all" Gabriel offered from the corner, and Crowley suppressed a shudder, but nodded, that seemed the right wording.
"I understand" Anathema said to Crowley's surprise, he didn't expect her to understand any of the illogical things he said "Let me examine your eyes, yes?"
Crowley let her, is not that he could deny, anyway.
"You may have irises sensitive to sunlight, you didn't went out much when you were little, did you?"
"No"
She nodded "Is there anything else you think I should know?"
Crowley frowned thoughtfully. There wasn't much to tell, as far as he knew, most of his problems boiled down to his stupid fear, not to some illness or pain. Except...
He glanced at Gabriel, with a questioning look.
Gabriel raised an eyebrow "If you don't tell her I'll do it anyway" and smirked.
Crowley frowned angrily.
"Yes?" Anathema caught his attention.
"I hardly sleep" he confessed in a low voice "And when I do, I usually have nightmares"
"Since you arrived?"
"No, I had them in the shelter too" he explained "I took naps in the afternoon, but I didn't feel like I rested at all"
"I see" Anathema said as she got up and walked away from him "One last question"
Crowley looked up, curious.
"What about your heat?"
He recoiled, a little taken aback by the question.
"Why do you want to know?"
Deep down, he knew the reason for that question. His only value, in the eyes of an alpha, was his ability to have pups and to please his mate. He looked at Gabriel, but Gabriel was just glancing at the window, looking bored.
"It's an indication of your health, just that" Anathema explained calmly.
Crowley bit his lower lip. "They're very irregular"
Something flashed in Anathema's eyes, as if she had been suspecting something "And, you've never had a pregnancy" she stated.
"Never"
"What did they do in your shelter with the omegas in heat?"
"There was a special room for that, away from the rest. They left us locked there"
Anathema looked at him thoughtfully and nodded "Fine, then, I think we're done for today, Crowley" she turned around and started picking up her things "Thanks for your cooperation" she said as she turned her back on him.
No doctor had ever thanked him for being examined. That felt good.
Anathema turned to Gabriel and nodded "That will be all"
Gabriel escorted the female alpha out of the bedroom, just before closing the door he turned and looked at Crowley, he didn't say anything, just nodded. Then he withdrew, closing the door delicately.
Gabriel entered his study and waited for Anathema to enter before closing the door.
Anathema, who was already familiar with the place, moved a chair to sit down and let out a sigh.
Gabriel didn't take a seat "So ... what do you think?"
"I must admit, it's worse than I thought" she said uneasily "I thought you were exaggerating"
The alpha frowned, offended "I never exaggerate" he growled, but then rolled his eyes "He's always in this… constant state of fear, I don't know how he can live like this"
Anathema nodded, agreeing with him "Well, is hardly surprising, he comes from a shelter. I have visited shelters, they are in such a bad state of mind that you could kick them and they will thank you"
"Well, not him, before you can even get close he will have fled" Gabriel massaged his temple with his fingers "I hear him screaming at night, and, and there's that thing about forgetting things or he just…stares at nothing with this…blank expression"
"He is relatively healthy, given his circumstances" she explained "he is underweight, but that could be solved soon. The issue of sleep, though...is quite problematic"
Gabriel let out a hysterical laugh "Problematic? Oh, you think? He's one thought away from killing himself, Anathema! And you think his nightmares are problematic?"
Anathema drew her eyebrows together, her expression darkening "He's exhausted, the poor thing seems like he hasn't been able to have a good sleep in years. He needs a good rest to clear his mind"
Gabriel just put his arms on his hips and began to walk around the study, like a caged animal "What about his appetite?"
"It seems an emotional thing. He does not seem to have any physical problems, apart from the extreme fatigue, so much anxiety is making him very weak and incoherent" Anathema put a hand to her chin and was silent for a moment "He is extremely scared of alphas, which makes sense considering that he was with ... how many did you say? I can't imagine what savagery they have done to him"
Gabriel ran the palm of his hand over his face, he grunted in exasperation "And what I want to know is how to fix it, not the reason! I have no doubt why he's like this, it's obvious if you ask me"
Anathema rolled her eyes "I heal bodies, Gabriel, not minds!" she shot him a look "It's not like there's a magic cure"
The alpha just gave an exasperated huff and continued pacing back and forth.
"Why does it affect you so much?" she questioned suddenly, more calmly.
"It's ... upsetting" Gabriel waved a hand vaguely without even looking at her "I feel like at any turn of my back he's going to be dead"
Anathema hummed, she wanted to tell him that that was an exaggeration, that the omega wasn't that bad. But, she needed to be sincere "I suspect something else"
"About what?" Gabriel turned around, his eyes narrowed.
"He has not had a single pregnancy, despite having been with several alphas. Two options. He may be sterile, which perhaps explains why they always return him"
"And the other option?"
"That the shelter gave them something in food or water to prevent pregnancy. Which is very practical, the shelters don't want to have extra problems with children or the problems of a pregnancy, I would have to know what they gave them to understand better, but-"
"He didn't say any of that" Gabriel pointed out.
"Not that they are told, I told you, shelters are terrible. But that might explain his irregular heats, and maybe it ruined his appetite and sleep, too"
"Fabulous" Gabriel smiled sarcastically "It's not enough to ruin their minds, they also drug them without them knowing it"
"It's just a guess" Anathema make sure to point it out "It will be seen, better no to rush any conclusions yet" then she raised an eyebrow, doubtful "Are you planning ... to form a bond with him?"
Gabriel blinked, and then frowned "I'm going to completely ignore your question because it's stupid" he grimaced "How the hell could you even ask that? I mean, you saw it, I could offer him a glass of water and he will think I'm going to drown him! Don't be ridiculous, how could I-"
Anathema rolled her eyes "Alright, alright, calm down" she wrinkled her nose "God. Are you feeling okay? You're hysterical"
"I'm not!" he shout.
Anathema stood up "It shows" she replied sarcastically "What's the problem?"
Gabriel raised an eyebrow and then pointed to the door with both arms "What's the problem? Isn't that what we're discussing?! Didn't we just talk about it?!"
"No, not about the omega, I mean you, what is your problem" she clarified.
The alpha lowered his shoulders for a moment, considering the question "I ...there's no problem, I don't know what you're talking about"
Anathema raised a finger, in a scolding way "I'll tell you what I told the omega. Don't lie to your doctor, we're trying to help"
"I'm not lying, I really don't understand what you're about" He finally moved a chair and sat down.
Anathema only deepened her frown "And don't lie to your friends, either"
Gabriel narrowed his eyes "I have a better idea, why don't you tell me what to do and how to fix this situation with the omega?"
"You are impossible" Anathema shook her head and sat down again "I already told you, it's not like I could magically heal him" she took her briefcase and started looking for something, finally she took out a vial and looked at it carefully.
Gabriel looked at her curious, one eyebrow raised. Anathema handed him the vial, which he delicately inspected.
"It will help him sleep. A spoonful before sleeping" Anathema looked at him seriously "No more than two nights in a row, I'm serious"
Gabriel read the label on the vial, eyes narrowed and doubtful "Morphine?"
"It's better than opium or laudanum. It will help to soothe his nerves to sleep, just until he acclimatize" she nodded. "As soon as he get used to living here, and he starts to feel rested, I'm sure he won't need it as much. Manage it carefully"
"I will" Gabriel delicately cupped the vial in his hands with care, as if he were carrying a poison rather than a remedy "So, this will only help him sleep?"
"Unfortunately it's the only thing I can really help with" she admitted. She tilted her head the moment she saw Gabriel's expression, understanding what the alpha seemed to think "I know what you're thinking. You can't just fix it, Gabriel."
Gabriel frowned, but kept silent.
"I don't think anyone can, only he can fix himself" she paused, visualizing the omega who didn't seem to stop shaking even for a moment. "What you can do if you really want to help, however, is just be there"
"What do you mean?"
"Everyone he has met has surely wronged him or be downright cruel to him, just try to make him feel safe" she shrugged "Just give him time? You can be very nice when you want, do that ... And, supervise him, for course"
He scoffed "Only you think that"
They both stood up, Anathema looked at him seriously "If it stresses you that much, I will investigate his symptoms, I will see what I can gather, I admit that I do not usually treat omegas beyond the few occasions I have visited shelters"
"I'd appreciate it" Gabriel put the morphine bottle on his desk and opened the door for her "And now that you're here, why don't you check on Tracy?"
"Is she okay?" Anathema raised an eyebrow.
Gabriel shrugged "Yeah, a bit forgetful. But, just routine, you know"
"Alright, I will"
"Oh, and ... uh ... why don't you stay a few days? ... You know, you could..."
Anathema smirked "I have other patients, Gabriel" she patted him on the shoulder "You can deal with this just fine"
"I can pay more than the others" refuted the alpha.
"Nice try" Anathema said as she crossed the threshold of the door "Oh, and ... you can write, you know, there is mail" she added from the hallway "And for heaven's sake, rest, you're terribly moody!"
"Goodbye" Gabriel closed the door, Anathema already knew the mansion well enough to know where to find Tracy or the exit and he had work to do.
Gabriel liked to plan in advance, he liked to stick to the plan, he liked to organize everything, he liked to know what he was going to do during the week, during the month, throughout the year. If someone asked him what he was going to do on the third Wednesday in four months, Gabriel could answer, because every Wednesday he would go to town in the morning to visit Michael, and in the afternoon he would be reviewing his investment documents. Always.
If there was a small obstacle in his way, Gabriel would fix it in less than a rooster crows. And if he couldn't, he would plan a way to walk around it. But he rarely encountered a problem that he couldn't fix by himself.
Crowley was not like a small stone in the road, Crowley was a rock thrown at him, knocking him to the ground and knocking him off balance.
Not that he blamed him, really. And he couldn't exactly be mad at Sandalphon, because he, in some twisted way, did Crowley a favor. In a very, very twisted way.
He didn't like to think about the whole omegas thing, he didn't have any and he had no intention of having one.
And he was aware that most of his fellow aristocrats had an endless amount of nasty gossip because of that. But he didn't care, they could talk all they wanted about him being a sterile alpha or powerless or whatever, but as soon as he was around they would all bite their tongues and want him as a friend, they were pathetic, honestly.
Sandalphon perhaps wanted to prove a point; that it was pathetic not being able to deal –or beat into submission– with the lowest omega between the lowest.
Besides, returning the omega to the shelter would be offensive to Sandalphon, how could he reject such a good gift from such an important person?
Gabriel didn't give a shit about it at all, honestly.
But he couldn't just ignore the omega in the next room even if he tried.
He could smell his distress, almost always. An ever-present reminder of what he had been trying to ignore for years and he could no longer.
It was almost poetic. He tried to avoid it for years and know he couldn't refuse to look.
He didn't want to think why it affected him so much, and he certainly didn't want to think why it mattered to him.
It didn't matter, if you don't think about it too much it won't matter.
He took a deep breath and opened the door.
As always the omega raised his head, tense and with his eyes wide open as if he expected his death.
"Hey guess what!" Gabriel showed a smile, trying not to be intimidating "Good news!" he clapped his hands together, the omega only cringed more on his bed "Anathema said you don't have any kind of illness or physical ailment, do you know what it means?"
"That...I can breed healthy pups for you,s-sir?"
"Y -... what ... No! I don't!" he closed his mouth, the omega now clinging so tightly to the sheets that he looked like he was going to tear them. Gabriel had to admit, he wasn't good at keeping his voice low.
He inhaled deeply again "It means you just need to eat more and get some rest and you'll be fine as rain" he smiled, but Crowley looked like he had just told him that he was terminally ill.
He cleared his throat "And that's good, for yourself" he tried.
Crowley just frowned and looked away.
Gabriel rolled his eyes and looked around, the dinner plate was on the desk, half eaten, once again he had asked to eat alone. He shook his head.
"Anathema also gave me something to help you sleep, huh?" He tried, reaching over to show him the morphine vial and a spoon.
Crowley looked up doubtfully.
"It will help you sleep without nightmares" Gabriel clarified as he poured a spoonful of the liquid.
Crowley looked at him warily, he was shaking again.
Try to make him feel safe.
Gabriel smiled "It's not that I'm going to poison you, come on" he looked at the vial and frowned "Well, from the way Anathema gave me the instructions it could be dangerous if not used well, but-" he noticed the omega's scared expression and shook his head "No wait, don't worry! If I follow instructions it won't hurt you!" Crowley just recoiled "But, I'm very good at following instructions!"
The omega remained crestfallen "What if I refuse?"
He raised an eyebrow "Well I'm not going to pour it down your throat if that's what you think"
He watched as Crowley made an effort to inhale deeply, finally nodding after a few minutes "Fine"
Gabriel wondered if he should talk to him, try to convince him that he wasn't going to do anything bad to him. He watched as the omega cautiously took the medicine and rejected the idea.
It would be better to wait a bit, for now, it was better to let him sleep and rest and clear his mind at least a bit.
Trying to speak now would be useless.
Crowley handed the spoon back to him and Gabriel nodded "I'll be back in a bit, just to check"
He went to the door and before he left he turned around "You'll be fine, sweetheart"
An hour later Gabriel returned, but he only found the omega fast asleep, not shaking, not with a blank expression, just asleep, there was no sign of a nightmare.
He wondered how the omega felt.
If only one night of sleep was enough.