All of this will be over soon.
Why did you do all this?
I didn't want hate to be the only thing remaining from that encounter.
"Nightmares again, child of the moon?" Glorfindel didn't turn around when Tarisilya joined him on the balcony but she could hear it in his voice that he was relieved about her finally getting up.
"Enough for the time of lying around to end." Still quite sleepy, she came to stand beside him and let her eyes roam the surroundings in curiosity.
East Lórien … So far, she hadn't really had an idea what that was supposed to be like. People knew hardly more than that King Thranduil had given the southern part of his woods to Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel at the end of the war. Tarisilya had only entered Mirkwood a single time; even back then, she'd only been at the edge of the woods, and that had happened centuries ago. Now she was enjoying the complete silence and the almost treacherous peace of a new elven realm only just being built all the more.
There were only a few Galadhrim staying here who were busy building the first couple of telain right now and delimiting the area that many of them would move into once the loneliness of the Golden Wood would someday become completely unbearable. The guest talan that in the last few days, Tarisilya and her four-legged travel companion had been taken care of in, was one of the few fully furnished already. Judging by how exaggeratedly elegant and expensive some of the equipment was, Thranduil had had a hand in this.
There was hardly anything else to see in this area though. The few horses of the workers stood on the paddock at the edge of the settlement; Tercelborne and Asfaloth who were recovering well from the attack as Tarisilya noticed in relief, were among them. The wild animals hadn't really got used to their new freedom yet, gained after the destruction of Dol Guldur, and were still hesitant to return to this area. But they had already understood that the elves were being favorable towards them. Deer and foxes, even squirrels were strolling through the settlement, again and again, looking for something to eat that one of the workers might have dropped by accident. And occasionally on the run from a certain white cat who, thanks to a lot of rest, cuddles, and a few extra portions of meat and milk, had stomached the fear and stress of the trip and slowly began to settle in its temporary new home.
Tarisilya was already being close friends with a squirrel that came through a talan window daily, not even afraid of Conuiril, to steal from her plate. By now, Tarisilya had a suspicion, the little beast had actually made a deal with her cat about leaving it alone as long as it was luring a few mice for Conuiril here in return. In any case, none of them would starve anytime soon. The Lórien-elves were a little too particular about her patient having to eat double the usual amount. Besides, in the last few days, Tarisilya had done nothing but recover from the strains of the journey anyway.
Now she was feeling strong enough. While she hadn't thought Thranduil to patiently wait around until the healers were satisfied with her condition, she was disappointed, admittedly, that it was only Glorfindel, waiting for her.
"His Majesty is taking care of the Dunlendings who escaped from us." Glorfindel read her searching glance across the camp right. "He said, he'd be back in the evening."
There it was again, that slight resentment in Glorfindel's voice that Tarisilya had already heard during the rescue. It felt unreal that there were actually elves that Glorfindel didn't get along with. She was too tired right now to remind herself that too much curiosity was impolite. "What is this between you and him?"
"His Majesty did not learn much from his father's mistakes and taught his son even less. And I am growing a little tired of Imladris having to put his fires out." Glorfindel sensed it himself that he was sounding unusually cynical and pushed the subject aside with an impatient gesture.
"I have to get back to Gondor. Can I leave you alone?"
"Nothing will happen to me here." It was hard for Tarisilya to let someone go who was a memory of her husband and his difficult situation, but Glorfindel was simply one of the few people Legolas was still listening to. He was needed at Cair Andros. "Thank you so much. I hope, one day I can return the favor."
"Anytime, child of the moon." That was all they had to say to each other. Tarisilya knew Glorfindel well enough to not hold his distanced behavior against him.
About to leave already, suddenly he paused though; his wistful, deeply worried expression revealed his question before he had even asked it. "That dream …"
"Am I so obvious?" Smiling weakly, Tarisilya wiped her cheeks that were still burning with tears. "I was always grateful for not being burdened with the future, but sometimes I have visions in my sleep. Some of them come true. Most of them do not, fortunately. In this case, no matter how much has happened between Erestor and me, I hope it was only my fear of what's coming that showed me images of death."
Now she had definitely thrown Glorfindel off balance. His hand clenched around the low terrace railing as if he was trying to break the thin wooden pole. It took him a few long seconds before he stopped showing that combination of helpless anger and a worry maybe not solely amicable that would only distract him from his duty right now.
For the first time since she had met these two elves, Tarisilya realized that there might be emotions on both sides in play that were maybe a lot deeper than they wanted to admit it even to themselves. And that Glorfindel had been married before dying in Gondolin, that he was having a son, might not be an issue. It hadn't been long since he'd told her so. While it happened very rarely, there were indeed elves who managed to love more than one partner the same way.
Suddenly she felt deeply ashamed about she had sometimes talked in the presence of Glorfindel of all people about someone that he'd used to know for such a very long time. Someone so unbelievably important to him, regardless of which way.
"The Lord considered sending someone to look for him. Erestor was always his right hand."
"But you're the only one he listens to you, right?" That was something, Tarisilya also remembered very well. Just a few centuries had passed since she had thought for a while that Erestor might be able to claim the spot in her heart reserved for Legolas. Part of her had never been able to leave that summer completely behind. Denying that was futile. "Why is it me then who has such visions? I can't help him."
"Are you sure?" Glorfindel hesitated; it was plain to see, it wasn't easy for him to say the following, but then he did grab Tarisilya's shoulder. "For a while, you have broken Erestor. While he has no feelings for you anymore, you are still very close to him. You awoke something in him that had almost been dead, and it did not only cause good things. I don't know if I will make it to him in time to make him see reason. If you see him first … Most elves are too blinded by their own light to stand the darkness. Somebody who has been knowing the night from birth could make a difference."
"I have to think of my family right now." Though Tarisilya hated it, having to deny him this one single request, she looked straight into his piercing eyes when she answered. Her child would not suffer from her mistakes from the past or from Erestor's madness. "If he's ready to listen, I'll talk to him. But I can't carry this burden for him."
"He does not want you to anyway." Visibly relieved, Glorfindel let go of her and stepped back.
"Your visitor has arrived, so I can go with a clear conscience."
"A visitor?" Frowning, Tarisilya looked down to the talan stairs where there was a horse waiting that looked familiar, but she couldn't remember right away.
When she looked up again, Glorfindel was gone. Instead, said visitor was standing behind her in the balcony door and, seeing her complete astonishment, gifted her with a warm smile that lit his slightly rough features like the purest light of the stars itself. "Child of the moon …"
"Milord?" Tarisilya bowed to Celeborn, not even consciously remembering at this point that thanks to her new rank, she actually didn't have to do that anymore. She would never face the elf without that kind of respect who, just like Lady Galadriel, had always helped her father raise her a little. "Don't they need you in Lórien?"
"Not half as badly as people here need me, as my wife tells me." The Lord put down his bag and signaled Tarisilya to join him at the small table in her room. "We have a few hours before they expect his Majesty Thranduil back here. Tell me about Gondor, child of the moon. And afterward, I will tell you what awaits you if you expect help from your father-in-law of all people."
Tarisilya had already heard that same warning from Aragorn, still, it felt good to finally have someone give her really useful advice. Someone whom she hadn't seen since the war anymore no less. Someone who could tell her about her home without her having to get close to the depressing emptiness of the mellyrn herself.
Maybe it was too early for that, but for the first time in a long while, it finally seemed that she was allowed to have some hope again.
"You've put on weight, by the way," Celeborn suddenly said, with a kind of humor that you didn't even think him capable of if you knew him only as a strict realm leader.
"You just know what she-elves want to hear," Tarisilya chuckled, but she couldn't prevent a beam on her face. After all, that was the first real visible sign of her pregnancy.
"How do you think I managed to get one of the proudest Noldor of them all to marry me? The Prince of Eryn Lasgalen and I have something in common there." Smirking as well, Celeborn pushed a mug of tea her way.
Only when she had emptied half of it, they started to talk.
Arwen didn't get much of a chance to take a look around in the camp. She was taken straight to one of the few telain finished, decorated with white and silver curtains and a broad terrace facing west.
She was of course familiar with the she-elf waiting for her in these accommodations used as a sick room. Not so much because said she-elf was originally from Eryn Lasgalen and one of Legolas' closest friends, but because she had been living in Arwen's old home for a few decades after a fight with King Thranduil and had already started working more and more as a healer there as well.
Arwen had met her child before too, most recently at the wedding. In the meantime, the elfling had made a lot of progress though, far more than a mannish child of a few months, as was normal for her folk. The little one came crawling at her, babbling cheerfully, and reached out her short arms to her.
"Our guest needs rest, sweetie." Tauriel brought her daughter to a corner covered with soft blankets where the child, after giving a short whine, started to get busy with wooden toys and some parchments with a lot of pictures on them on its own.
"She can't stay anywhere else if my husband is on the hunt", Tauriel explained apologetically.
"Why don't you sit down, Lady Arwen? Is it your head?"
"One of the healers in Minas Tirith will take care of it soon enough, thank you. It's not that bad. If you have a cup of pain-relieving tea for me, that'll help enough."
Arwen was still angry, especially about Legolas just dropping her off with the other she-elf and vanishing without an explanation. Actually, she wanted to go right back down to the camp and fulfill her quest so that she could ride back to the city. She finally wanted to know how her companions were doing. Reluctantly, she dropped onto a chair.
"Just a minute." Tauriel took a moment to tie back her hair before throwing a few herbs into a big kettle on the fire and putting a couple of other leaves into the smaller one standing next to it. Then she pulled up a chair herself.
Ignoring Arwen's dismissive words, she carefully examined her face that was showing clear traces of what had happened. Her beautiful green eyes narrowed to slits. "The Stewardaides again?"
"More or less. Leave it be. My horse is doing worse than me." Not ready to reveal anything else, Arwen looked past the other she-elf, trying to curb her anger with Erestor for now. There were more important things right now than this delusional elf; besides, she hadn't forgotten about the secrecy regarding his deeds.
"How surprising. And they meet us with distrust because we want to do something against these criminals. What's going on in Men's minds is beyond me sometimes."
Before Arwen could say anything, Tauriel's head jerked towards the door; she frowned. "Who told these people to get involved? It's bad enough, they keep on driving the animals in the woods crazy with their constant yelling, just because the Steward thinks we're reviving Sauron's spirit here."
She was obviously talking about Faramir's soldiers as one of them was about to enter the talan, visibly intimidated. Maybe part of the White Company patrolling nearby had belated realized what was going on near the settlement after all. It was the youngest of the group as Arwen noticed immediately, with slightly scruffy, frizzy hair and dark eyes that were turned to the floor as if the man didn't really dare to look at the other she-elf.
Instead, he bowed to Arwen. "I only just heard what happened to you, Your Majesty. Please forgive me for not being there in time. I just arrived, together with your two companions. They're waiting for you downstairs."
"Are they unharmed?"
Only when the man assured Arwen that nothing was wrong with the guards, she relaxed a little. "Thank you. And as for you …"
She turned to Tauriel. "Please have care how you speak about the soldiers of Gondor, who are dedicating themselves to your protection too, after all." She tried to remain as diplomatic as possible; given the indifferent expression that the other she-elf met the reprimand with, that really wasn't easy though.
"I come to you with a request. Your marchwardens allowed me to see you, milady." The soldier shifted his weight from one foot to another. It was clear, he was feeling out of place.
Finally, he brought himself to get something out from under his cloak after all that had led him here. "I've come without the knowledge of my Prince, in the name of the White Company who is just as worried as me. I'm asking you to examine this."
Confused, Tauriel took the elegantly carved mug that a tiny rest of wine was still swimming in, protected from leakage by a thin screwed-on wooden lid. "What is this?"
"That's what we'd like to know." When Tauriel nodded at him, a lot kinder now, the soldier sat down and looked back and forth between Arwen and her.
"We actually wanted to keep it a secret until we can be sure, but maybe it's better for the King to learn about this right away as well. I snatched this mug back then when our leader would almost have fallen for the treacherous words of the Stewardaides for a few hours. It was only a suspicion back then. Somehow, he looked sick. But he and Barhit drank the same, so we thought, we'd been mistaken. But in the last few months … The Steward has changed."
The young man tugged on his gloves again and again. It was easy to see how uncomfortable it made him, going behind Faramir's back like this. "Sure, he's been very busy, and the death of your friends took a big toll on him. But that's just it … Sometimes he's saying things … And his wife, she's sleeping almost the whole time. She's completely absent-minded."
"Forgive me my limited compassion, soldier." Tauriel put the mug aside for the moment. "The Steward has to live with his mistakes, just like all of us. No one's asked us how we cope with losing four of our friends in such a cruel way for an unforeseeable amount of time. His serenity is not our business."
"I'm not asking you to make it yours." The man pointed at the little souvenir. "Just tell me that I'm wrong and that this is really just wine. If it is, I'll go see the King and ask him for help officially. I just want to make sure that nothing strange is going on in Emyn Arnen."
"We will take care of it, but something like that takes time. I'll let you know."
There was no clearer way to throw someone out, so the man left, visibly disappointed.
By now, both the tea and a healing broth had finished brewing. Tauriel handed Arwen a mug and started to clean her wounds. "I'll take care of Alagas next. He'll be alright by the time you'll go home."
"Since the way home will surely not be any less dangerous than getting here, I honestly have no good idea yet how I'm supposed to be getting anywhere." Again, anger filled Arwen when she thought of Alagas' injury, of everything that could have happened, but then she nodded with a quiet sigh. That was something, the other she-elf really wasn't responsible for.
"It's quite a deep cut, so a salve would be great."
"I'll be back in a minute."
Tauriel had just left the room when loud voices right below the talan lured Arwen to the terrace door. If a certain elvish Prince was arguing with his chief advisor, that meant trouble.
"Spare me your lectures, Thondrar. You're not my father, and you're not half as persuasive as yours. And even if you were, the decisions here are still mine to make."
Even from up here, Arwen could see how growing aggression and impatience hardened Thondrar's expression. There were only a few things he was being so vulnerable about as the relationship between Glorfindel and him, and Legolas had to know that very well. That he didn't care about such things anymore at all alone had Arwen understand better and better why Tarisilya had left.
"Correct. Which is why it's also your job to enter negotiations, Your Highness. I'm just as little authorized to do that."
"I didn't demand negotiations." If Legolas knew that Arwen was listening, he obviously didn't care about that either.
"It was the Steward who sent a substitute here because I had nothing to say to him. You'll remember, I wasn't enthusiastic from the start. And as soon as I give in just a little, the exact thing that I had been afraid of happens. What the Queen needs right now is medical treatment, not even more excitement. From the way she's greeted me, there is no point in even sitting down at the same table, believe me. I refuse to be forced to continue this argument with someone else important to me. There's no reason for this political banter. We live in the isolation that they promised we would get. We're doing our work and we don't bother anyone. We don't have to answer to anyone for that. The lovely words of Elrond's daughter won't change anything about that, no matter if she's come as a negotiator or a spy."
"What would the elves think about this assessment of the situation that you've been training as warriors out in the woods every morning?" Thondrar asked harshly. "Are you lying to them too about what they'll have to face soon?"
"You're listening too much to washer-elves and goldsmiths, Glorfindelion. You have your orders. I'll be back in a few hours."
Legolas whistled for Arod and bent down to a traveling bag when a golden blade on his throat had him pause. "If it's training duel you want, you should have shown up in the usual meeting area in the morning instead of wasting your time with rumors once more. We don't fight in the settlement; I thought I would have at least drilled that simplest of all rules into you by now."
"Do you think, orcs or hostile soldiers keep to training schedules? Or that they would respect your little sanctuary here so much that they would never come here? Once more, I hear your limited experience in war talking." Thondrar let the blade graze across Legolas' throat with his healthy left hand until his leader harshly spun around, drawing his daggers.
"What is this, an amusing show for the others?" Shaking his head, Legolas let his gaze wander over Thondrar's dark robe, not exactly the most practical clothes for a fight. "Maybe you should get your shield if you don't want to walk away from this with any injuries."
"Do I need it for competing with a friend?" Thondrar stared at Legolas invitingly ever until the other elf reluctantly struck first, with a quick jump towards him that Thondrar dodged surprisingly easily. The proof that his serious leg injury from the battle at the beginning of the year had fully healed.
The paralysis of his arm though, that would torture him for the rest of his eternity, made it almost impossible to defend himself against two blades at once, especially without the support of his shield. It took only a few of Legolas' aggressive attacks until Thondrar fell to the ground and couldn't get up in time anymore to dodge the multiply sharpened metal pointed at his chest.
"If you'll excuse me now …" Legolas showed the hint of a bow and moved to back away but brought his dagger forward again when the sword came at him once more. This time, he pressed his weapon harder against Thondrar's unprotected upper body, his anger growing. "The fight is over."
"And here I thought you had fought at least in the latest large battles for a change instead of hiding in your woods. Have you learned so little in them?" Instead of retreating, Thondrar got up as if the weapon wasn't even there that was cutting through his clothes and did finally cut his skin, too, until Legolas had to take a step back himself if he didn't want to kill one of his own people.
When the Prince lowered his daggers, extremely confused by this entirely nonsensical kind of resistance, Thondrar's sword blade hit his right side and reopened an old wound there. Legolas went to his knees with a suppressed scream of pain, one hand clutching the bad bleeding, and looked up at his advisor, his eyes blazing with anger. Anger mostly on himself because he hadn't anticipated the obvious trap.
"If you should actually ever find the courage to use your weapons against one of your own, neither my father nor I will be in your way." Completely unfazed, Thondrar put his sword away, sheathing it in the scabbard on the weapon's belt that he was wearing even over these casual clothes, and just left Legolas alone.
Arwen's escort had fled from the bad mood and entered the healing talan and approached her hesitatingly. "Your Majesty? We're obviously not being welcome here. I urgently advise you to ride back. The King surely doesn't want you to be in danger for nothing."
"And to make sure that it's not for nothing, there will be negotiations." Arwen pushed herself firmly away from the doorframe. "Tell the Prince that the Queen demands to speak to him immediately. If he dares to leave, he'll regret to find out how much a spy can pick up on before she leaves after an unfriendly treatment. Tell him that thanks to this welcome, he's lost every chance to hear my lovely words and that I will see it as a hostile political act if he refuses to have a conversation."
The soldier's skeptical expression revealed that he doubted the success of this message, but he obeyed.
When the door was being opened just a few minutes later, Arwen thought she had been able to call on Legolas' rationality for a moment, but it was only Tauriel. Even her daughter noticed the other she-elf's suddenly very agitated steps and movements and started to cry. Tauriel quickly took the child on her arm. Even she looked visibly annoyed now as she stared down at the court where there were indeed hoofbeats sounding very familiar to Arwen departing.
"I'm sorry." Thondrar appeared in the doorframe, absently rubbing his right arm that still hurt from the duel.
"I tried my best. What you're seeing here is the Eryn-Lasgalen-version of 'I will not be threatened'. If he behaves stupidly enough, the blood loss will make him fall off his horse; then you can talk to him by his bedside. Tauriel, leave us alone."
"Why?" The other she-elf was even less composed than earlier; she snapped at him so harshly that her child already pulled a grimace and let out a sob again. "So you and Her Majesty can plan the next steps with undisturbed? Do you seriously think, the Prince doesn't know you're not on his side?" It sounded more helpless than aggressive; after all, Tauriel knew Thondrar from Imladris as well. And Legolas' childish departure was bothering her as much as him.
"I'm on nobody's side, just as little as my father is," Thondrar replied calmly. "I'm trying to protect you all from a decision that would not only destroy your lives. Do you want your child to be between such fronts, Tauriel? Do you think that's what Avrelas and the others would have wanted?"
"I don't know anything right now." Now the other she-elf was quite in a hurry to leave the talan after all.
Only now, Thondrar turned to Arwen again. "His Highness fully trusts the bonds between His Majesty Aragorn and the elven realms. He's certain that your husband will not risk war and therefore not strike first. The Prince seems to have missed diplomatic classes with a passion when he was young. I'll send a message to Minas Tirith, so they'll send a carriage and a bigger escort for you. I would take you there myself, but you've just seen with your own two eyes that my skills aren't what they used to be yet. I'm afraid, right now neither of us can make much of a difference here."
"Bring me a horse that can keep up with Arod's speed." Arwen was already on her way to the door. Thanks to emptying at least half of her cup of tea, her head was fortunately not hurting that much anymore.
"With your injury, you shouldn't be riding, Your Majesty." Thondrar didn't move out of the way but raised his healthy hand soothingly. The worry that she would do something rash was written in his face.
"How nice of you to address me with my title, even though you're sadly the only one here. Some elves in this settlement might not like it that I've become the Queen of Men but I have sent Legolas an official message, the contents of which he could not have misunderstood. If he thinks, I'm not being serious, he's even more naive than you would think. You might see it as a hostile act already if he'd treated a simple messenger like this, but it would be better if it never leaves the borders of these woods what he dares to do right now. Aragorn has sent me here to represent his realm, and I will not allow anyone to treat the honor of Gondor with contempt!"
Arwen briefly nodded towards the door. "Please prepare my soldiers' horses and one for me, or I'll have to search the woods by foot on top of everything."
"I'll come with you. It's not impossible that there are still Stewardaides in the woods." Now that the decision had been made, Thondrar was completely in his element again, every ounce a soldier, and avoided trying to criticize Arwen.
There was only one piece of advice that he had left for her to give when they hurried downstairs together. Then he went ahead so quickly though that she couldn't answer. "People have started wars over words like honor and friendship in the past, milady. I'm not excusing his behavior. I'm only asking you for leniency, for as long as you can come up with it."