Vemödalen - The frustration of photographing something amazing when thousands of identical photos already exist.
Tony was watching Ziva. Not an unusual thing, his eyes couldn't help but be drawn to her. What was unusual was that she wasn't telling him off for doing so. She was totally entranced by the street performance he'd dragged her too, eyes following every spin and dip. They must be good, not that he knew. He hadn't been watching them, being far too busy watching Ziva.
Oh, how he wanted to capture that smile, that light in her eyes, the way the fading daylight caught her loose curls. He was sure that image would be imprinted on his mind forever but he also wanted physical proof. Proof that she could still smile, could still find joy in life.
It had been a long time since he had seen that particular smile on her face. He had missed it. Understandably, the past few months hadn't exactly given her a lot to smile about. Tony had thought she had lost her hope, hope of surviving, hope of belonging. It had been awful to watch her destroy herself. But this smile, a genuine smile, showed the silver lining. That she was, eventually, going to be okay.
Of course, he didn't exactly carry a camera around with him and his phone was dead.
Tony watched his partner's honestly joyful face watch the dancing in amazement.
Maybe he'd catch it next time.
Next time he actually took a photo, with his phone, and it didn't turn out the best. Ziva wasn't looking straight at the camera, actually he'd taken it when he was standing next to her really quickly before she realised what he had done so it was a bit blurry as well. Obviously, there was no hiding from her. His sneaky skills weren't exactly up to her level but she didn't threaten him with bodily harm or demand he delete it. She just shook her head and rolled her eyes. He couldn't resist snapping a photo of that too, perfect way to capture the evening.
Looking at it the next day, Tony couldn't help but smile. Sure, it looked like a generic picture of a gorgeous woman smiling, having a good time, the kind of photos a couple would have, but it was so much more than that to him.
What annoyed Tony was that if people saw that picture all they'd think was "Woah, hot!" and nothing more. They wouldn't see anything spectacular or amazing. It was just a picture of a woman smiling after all. Loads of men had photos like that. They didn't know the story behind it. How long and how much work it took for her to have that smile on her face again. How were you meant to show that? How do you show the shadows in her eyes that were slowly disappearing and being replaced by hope?
You couldn't. Tony shook his head and looked critically at the photo. He just knew he could take a better one.
Another spin and her indignant shout turned into a laugh. A genuine laugh. It flowed easily from her mouth as she matched his steps. She still had all the moves and easily kept up the pace. Well, briefly. Her stamina wasn't quite what is used to be just yet but the fact that she was dancing at all spoke volumes.
Her breath caught and Tony gave her a sharp look. She didn't say anything. Tony inwardly frowned, knowing she would brush him off if he tried to say something. A careful manoeuvre and she was spun right next to the table, making Abby applaud them. He gave a smirk and a mocking bow as she tried to catch her breath. He tried not to hover even though she was hunched over. Gibbs thrust her glass of water at her and she was soon standing up straight again. She didn't look annoyed or tired or in pain. She looked happy and healthily out of breath, rosy cheeks instead of being pale and drawn.
'FLASH'
The two of them were momentarily blinded and white light filled his vision. Weird squiggly shadow shapes danced behind his eyelids. What the hell?
"Sorry!" came Palmer's stuttering voice.
Tony shook his head, trying to see properly. Wow, that was really disconcerting.
"Oh, let me see it!" Abby squealed and the spots cleared just as she grabbed the camera out of Palmer's hands. "Aw, that's so cute!"
Tony leaned over her shoulder to see. Palmer had managed only to capture Ziva, the rest of the surroundings (and himself) blurred. Her mouth was curved into a smile and her face shiny with the heat. She over-exerted herself easily these days. It was a good photo. She almost looked like any other dancer put there. Not quite because it was Ziva after all and Tony knew by the way her brow was ever so slightly furrowed that she was trying to block some pain or exhaustion.
No complaints from him though. A few months ago, and she wouldn't have been able to dance at all never mind like that.
"Send it to me," he mouthed at Palmer as he went to perch himself next to Ziva.
Movie nights were back and Tony hadn't realised how much he had missed them. Well, okay, he had but there had been other, more important, things to focus on. But now all that had settled down (sort of) and they were all finding their new normal.
A lot of things were new (medical appointments, therapy sessions) which kept them off balance so Tony thought that he'd bring back something old.
Hence, the movie night. He'd bribed her with Thai and Johnny Depp. Something good and funny. Putting smiles on faces was definitely on the books.
It was great fun. The food was soon demolished and they were laughing at the pirates. Well, mostly Ziva. Tony admittedly hadn't been paying much attention to the film, being more distracted with the woman sitting next to him. Far more interesting in his opinion.
She was finally looking herself again. No dark circles under her eyes, cheeks had filled out slightly and hair looked cared for again. There was nothing limp or tired about her anymore. It was fantastic. It felt like he could finally breathe easy.
Like he'd been doing a lot recently, he took a not-so-sneaky picture. He really couldn't help himself. It was the best one so far.
She had made an exasperated noise when she heard the click from his phone but didn't do anything else. He showed her it, keeping a careful hold of his phone, and her face just lit up.
He looked between her happy, flushed face, and the photo. For once the expression on both not closed off and guarded. A rarity these days. He looked down at the camera, his thumb hovering over the delete button. The image didn't even compare to the real deal.
He clicked the button and it was gone.