*SMUT WARNING*

Also, if you're Catholic…I'm sorry.

Australia was lovely, but it lacked the 'cute and fluffy' aspect that had appealed to Marian in New Zealand and Japan. Nothing in the country was especially cuddle-able, unless one was willing to pick up a venereal disease. She tried petting a kangaroo joey, but immediately developed a rash, which put an end to that. They saw art, and natural wonders, and ate amazing food, but Crowley could tell she wasn't as excited as she had been on their previous dates. He needed to spice things up a bit.

Marian's head spun as she was ported to a new location. She blinked in dim light and inhaled the musty smell of old books, candle wax, and incense.

They were in a church. A cathedral, her brain corrected. Though she'd been raised Christian, her parents were Protestant, and she hadn't been inside many cathedrals, except on school trips. This one was gorgeous and massive and pristine, and must have seen hundreds of thousands of tourists a year, but right now it looked empty.

"Where…?"

"Saint Patrick's Cathedral in Melbourne," Crowley answered.

Marian turned around slowly, head tilted back as she took in the massive stained-glass windows and hanging brass chandeliers. "…Why?"

He chuckled, wrapping his arms around her waist. "I thought you could help me with a little fantasy of mine."

She narrowed her eyes. His hands moved down to squeeze her ass and she pushed him away.

"You're joking. There's no way in Hell—"

Crowley drew her back into him. "Absolutely no way in Hell," he said with a grin.

"You're a demon. You want to have sex in a church?! Why?"

"Not just sex in a church, love. Sex in a church with a former angel. I've desecrated churches before, but never like this."

Marian tried to push him away again, but he held on to her.

"Wh—You—" she stuttered. "I don't do public sex."

"There's no one in here but us," he assured her, pulling her in for a kiss. "The doors are sealed. It's been warded against any pesky angels who might be listening in."

"You warded a church against angels?" Marian gasped. Somehow, that seemed to be the biggest desecration of all. It was like breaking into someone's house and changing the locks on them.

He smiled wickedly. "It's not that difficult. So, what do you say?" He snapped his fingers, and hundreds of candles lit up around the cathedral. "You're hurting anyone. It's just a bit of fun."

"You're horrible. If I wasn't going to Hell before, I definitely am now," Marian grumbled, trying in vain to back away from him.

"Then there really is no escaping me." He kissed her again, running a hand up her back and through her hair. "If you die, I'll know exactly where to find you."

She suddenly found herself seated on a cold stone slab, and looked down to find herself on the altar. Crowley stood between her legs, his arms still wrapped around her. He leaned into her, kissing her. Keeping her locked in place with one arm, he used his free hand to gently rub over the denim between her legs.

Marian slowly melted at his touch, no longer pushing him away. She grabbed for the bulge between his legs, squeezing through the fabric as well. "For the record," she mumbled around his kisses, "This still feels wrong."

"I would hope so, love. Even other demons won't shag in a church. They'll piss in the holy water and pour blood in the wine, but then again, none of them knows how to properly ward against angels, so—"

"Wait—they do what?"

"Don't worry about it." He snapped and her clothes disappeared; she yelped in surprise as her skin met cold marble.

"It's freezing!"

"I can remedy that."

Priests' vestments appeared beneath her, along with some altar boys' robes. Marian glanced down at them, then up at the massive space around them. "There's no way anyone's going to walk in here?"

Crowley pinched her nipples, drawing her attention back to him. "Not a chance in Hell, love. Everyone's been taken care of."

She sat up in alarm. "You killed them?! You said we weren't hurting anyone—"

"Relax, angel. Not 'killed.' Just…'Taken care of.' They'll wake up eventually."

Marian narrowed her eyes. She opened her mouth to argue but only a moan escaped as Crowley found her clit. She grabbed his tie to pull him closer, kissing him, and squeezed the bulge in his pants. From her position on the altar, she had to bend her wrist at an odd angle to reach him. It didn't take long for her arm to get sore, distracting her from what the demon was doing to her.

"Will you get naked already and get your ass up here? My wrist is killing me."

He chuckled and joined her on the altar, snapping his clothes off as he moved. He reclined on the priests' vestments but sat up quickly, rubbing his arm where he'd made contact. "Must've spilled some holy water on himself," he grumbled, and flipped the offending garment over.

Marian grabbed his length in her hand and nearly fell off the altar trying to get in a position where she could wrap her lips around him. The marble slab was so narrow that she had to rotate herself all the way around so that her feet were by his head. Crowley groaned in pleasure as she began to suck on him, wrapping her lips over her teeth and producing little slurping sounds. She kept one hand wrapped around the base of his cock and gently squeezed his balls with the other, resting her weight across his stomach.

Crowley slid a finger through her folds, rubbing slowly, teasing, gradually working his way inside her. She whined and hummed around his cock, squeezing tighter around the base, pulling off to run her tongue around the tip when she needed to catch her breath. Crowley's hips jerked, and she slid him back into her mouth as far as she could, hitting her gag reflex and pulling back just a hair.

"Fuck, yes," Crowley hissed. His voice echoed across the empty cathedral. Fuck yes, fuck yes. "Get your ass over here and sit on my face, angel."

"Wha?" Marian choked, still trying to work on her deep-throating.

"I believe the kids these days call it 'sixty-nine-ing.'" He used his power to lift her hips and slide her over to straddle his head.

Marian squirmed uneasily. Like shower sex, 69-ing always felt like more of a chore to her than fun: She was too concerned about smothering her partner, or choking on him, or, God forbid, farting directly into his nose. She was too self-conscious about having her ass in someone's face to relax and enjoy herself.

"C-ow-ey…" she mumbled around his cock. "I 'on't—"

He grabbed her ass, pulling her onto him, and flicked his tongue across her clit, then tongued inside her. Marian squealed in surprised pleasure, bobbing her head enthusiastically in response. "What was that, darling?" he purred, removing his tongue from her just long enough to speak. "Not a fan?" He slid his tongue all the way down her folds, then back up to her clit, and she jerked involuntarily. "You seem to be enjoying it from here."

She whimpered as he sucked hard on her clit. She couldn't even manage a real reply, unless salivating on his dick counted. Maybe she just hadn't been 69-ing with the right person.

He made her squirm, teasing her with his tongue and holding her hips in place. He made her whine and moan around his cock, the sounds carrying to the farthest corners of the empty church. He brought her close to the edge, again and again, building her desire and her desperation. When he finally rolled her off of him, her lips parting from his dick with a wet 'pop,' she was shaking with need. He spun her around effortlessly and buried himself to the hilt, meaning to start out easy on her but unable to restrain himself any longer.

Marian wasn't objecting to the rough pace he set. She wrapped her legs around him, drawing him into her, encouraging him to fuck her hard. He growled and nipped at her neck, the force of his thrusts driving them both up the altar until her head was hanging over the edge. Suddenly, she found herself bent over wooden stairs, with Crowley behind her, and realized he had her behind the pulpit. Her head spun as her brain adjusted to the change in position. Hands braced on the step in front of her, she turned to give him a questioning look.

"Indulge me in my little fantasy, angel," he said with a devilish grin. "I want to fuck you all over this place." He held her hip with one hand and slid back inside her, then proceeded to fuck the absolute life out of her.

They moved to the confessional, where he had her suck him through the privacy window; then up to the choir loft, where he had her sit on his lap facing him to fuck him. That was way damn hotter than it had any right to be, and she ended up coming so hard that, if he'd been human, she'd have actually injured his cock. Thank Hell he was a demon and loved it.

He took advantage of her post-orgasm high to take her to a place he thought she might object to: The crypts, where multiple saints were interred. The air was stale, but to his demon senses it crackled with a kind of holy energy, a bit like feeling static electricity on a metal door. He brought a cushion from the pews in the organ loft so Marian wouldn't scratch her back up on the old stone floor. She was basically boneless under him, eyes half-closed, and she didn't even ask where they were.

There was one more place he wanted to try, but Marian was regaining her senses and it was entirely possible she'd think this was more objectionable than shagging over the graves of saints. He brought her back to the nave and set her down on the altar, then turned his attention to the large stone crucifix that stood off to the side.

It took a decent amount of power to knock over the cross. Jesus was smashed into the floor face-first, leaving the flat back of the cross facing upward. Crowley tied Marian's wrists to the 'T' with priests' sashes, which would be soft and safe and also entirely inappropriate.

"You're kidding. This is your fantasy?" Marian gasped, tugging ineffectually at the sashes. "This is sort of…I don't know…It feels wrong, even for you."

"What do you mean? This is perfect! A demon, shagging a fallen angel on a crucifix in a cathedral. You should be happy I decided against my first idea."

"Which was?"

"Coating the cross in priests' blood first."

"This is better," she said quickly. "It's still kind of fucked up, though."

Crowley ran his hand up her thigh and spread her legs. "Speaking of fucked…"

It was a bit of a challenge to stay balanced on the crucifix while having sex. He had to keep his legs closer together than normal, and the angle was all wrong. It immediately became apparent that tying Marian's arms out to the side was a problem, as every upward thrust tugged unpleasantly at her shoulders. Crowley planted his hands just above her shoulders to keep her in place, feeling completely off-balance. He felt like he was sacrificing too much in the way of technique just to keep both of them on the cross. From the slightly pained expression on Marian's face, she thought so, too.

"This…Did not work like I'd hoped," he admitted. He thought again about killing one of the priests he'd knocked out, but that would upset Marian and probably kill the mood. He pulled out of her slowly, planting a trail of kisses down her neck and chest. "I think I'll keep you tied up for now, though…It's more fun that way."

Marian tried ineffectually to free her arms: It should have been easy with the sashes looped around the crucifix, but Crowley was a professional, and he'd been tying people up for centuries.

"But…What…?" Marian started and stopped, a little nervous about what he had in mind if he couldn't fuck her from this position.

He continued to kiss and lick down her body, speaking in between kisses. "I've wanted you like this for a long time now. Pictured you tied to this…Ridiculous religious relic…Screaming my name so loud, it fills the entire cathedral…There's something about an angel begging a demon to bring her to orgasm while she's strapped to a crucifix that really turns me on."

That's…Weird, Marian thought. But also…The idea kind of turned her on, too. "I think I'm pretty orgasmed-out," she said aloud. "Just fuck me, because anything else is just wasting your ti—"

She gasped as Crowley ran his tongue lightly over her clit. He ghosted his breath over her, then kissed the same spot, barely sucking, just giving enough contact to tease.

"Have a little faith, angel," he purred, sliding her legs over his shoulders. He continued to run just the tip of his tongue over her, sliding around her clit and through her folds. She started to squirm and whine as her body decided that it was no longer out of orgasms: that it could, in fact, be fucked quite happily this instant. But he wouldn't give her more than the lightest of pressure, just breathing and licking and tiny kisses. He carried on for what seemed like forever, and Marian thought she'd go crazy with want.

"Crowley, please!" she cried.

The demon hummed with pleasure, and then she heard another hum: It sounded like a vibrator. Then it touched her clit: It was definitely a vibrator.

"Shit!" she hissed, body lighting up at the sudden onslaught of pleasure. Crowley slid the vibrator down to her entrance and sucked on her clit as he slowly moved it inside her. "Fuck! Ah—yes—"

His ministrations increased in intensity, her pleasure building as he ate her out like a starving man.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum…"

Marian cried out as she came hard, her orgasm drawn out by both the vibrator and Crowley's tongue. As she was still coming down from her high, Crowley ported her back onto the altar and slid inside her, moaning as she tightened around him. He snapped his hips forward, going as deep as he could, and Marian felt something foreign between them—the vibrator? How…? She gave him a quizzical look.

"Vibrating cock ring," he explained, then winked. "Thought it would be easier to get you off a third time if I was wearing it."

"A third…Crowley! But—"

He tilted her hips just a little and sank into her again, hitting That Spot inside her while the vibrator ran over her clit.

"Ah—fuck," Marian sighed.

Crowley chuckled. "It's my fantasy, and I can make you cum as many times as I want."

He started out slow, letting her get used to the feeling—the cock ring didn't just vibrate, it made his cock bigger and harder—then fucked her hard, indulging in his fantasy, nipping at her neck and murmuring dirty nothings in her ear. He built her back up, very much aware of his own rising need, and when she came a third time, even harder than before, he had to pull out almost immediately so he wouldn't come inside her. A few quick jerks and he was cumming too, shooting thick white ropes from her hips to her chest, and even splashing a little in her hair. But he didn't stop there—he ported, still orgasming, and left the Church a little parting gift: Demon jizz in the Tabernacle; semen dotted across communion wafers like unholy icing.

Crowley returned, spent, to the altar, and used the priests' and altar boys' robes to clean up Marian.

"Where did you go?" she asked, feeling a bit dazed.

He told her.

"…Oh," she said. She looked at the soiled robes around her. "They're going to get in trouble for this, aren't they?"

"Who? The priests?" Crowley scoffed. "Don't feel bad about it; they've been molesting altar boys for centuries. These ones might actually get caught now."

"What?!"

"Oh yes, it's quite the scandal. Groping, oral sex, anal sex—a lot of priests are guilty. I mean a lot. And it's not just the priests—bishops, cardinals, even a Pope—"

"Jesus Christ," Marian muttered under her breath.

"Oh, I doubt it—He was more into whores."

"Crowley!"

"What?"

She shook her head. "Where did my clothes end up?"

He snapped his fingers and they were both dressed. Grabbing hold of her shoulder, he ported them back home.

Marian flopped onto her bed. The sex marathon had wiped her out. "Work?" she asked with a yawn.

Crowley snuggled up next to her. "Eventually. I can enjoy you for a little while longer."

She rested her head on his shoulder and draped her arm across his chest. "Mmm. Love you."

He kissed her forehead. "…Love you too, angel."