Chapter 49: Mind Games
No words would leave my mouth as I stared at Neville, still on his knee, holding a shaking hand with the box holding a ring inside of it. "…" no thoughts would come to me, I was purely in shock. "Aethna?" Neville's voice broke me from my empty mind and he was now holding the ring in his fingers, waiting for my answer. "Oh…um…Neville…I…uh…" I stumbled my words out and his face shown his hurt as he went to drop his hands. "Wait!" I called, taking his hands in mine. "It's just…with me being like this…I mean…you know…" he cocked his head to the side, "What about it? It changes nothing about how I feel about you. Aethna, please just tell me yes or no. I'm dying here." I could see the tears forming in his eyes… "Yes…I will, Neville."
His happiness as he grabbed my waist and lifted me into the air and spun me around. "Yes!" he lost his balance and we fell to the ground, but he didn't care as he kissed me with a passion. I returned it, feeling happy he wanted to be with me like that…but also worried that I would be like this forever. I would be crippling his future with my own. We broke apart and he helped me back onto the couch, sliding the ring onto my finger. It was a perfect fit, it was simple looking at first, a small diamond nestled into the setting, but looking closer, I could see the vine like metal twisted around it, almost like it was growing from them, just as our love grew from each other.
He helped me up to my room and crawled in after me, pulling me against him. He rubbed my arms, making sure I wasn't in pain anymore, rubbing my shoulders and my neck. I turned to face him, I wished I could give myself to him…but I haven't been able to move my hips or legs…it would seem so weird if we did. I rubbed my hand along his face, brushing my thumb against his lips. "Aethna, do you want to feed on me?" I blinked, his question was the last thing on my mind. "No, why do you ask?" "Well…I mean, normally we would…you know…but you can't. so I was thinking maybe I could give you pleasure another way."
I shook my head, sliding away from him slightly. "I can't even bring my fangs out anymore, after you left, I wasn't able to get them to come down." "Well, I'm here now. I want to do this." I watched him pull a small knife from his pocket, he pressed it against his palm and slid down, cutting a small wound. "Here, I can just tell Gran I fell on a rock." he didn't take no for an answer and pressed it to my lips. I couldn't fight it as I tasted him, opening my mouth and closing it around the wound. I drank for a while, listening to his heartbeat, feeling his pulse, and watching his face.
His head had fallen back and a slight moan escaped his lips. "A-Aethna…" he breathed out and I licked the wound after a few minutes longer, grabbing a rag from the side table and wrapping it up. He wiped a finger over my lips and I saw some blood on his finger. "How can you even stand to be with me? This isn't normal you know." I said, blushing at the fact he acted like this is perfectly fine. "It's our normal. That's all that matters. I may have been scared of vampires when I was younger…but you're different." he kissed me, showing his love even more before we fell asleep in each other's arms.
The next morning, I realized that Nikolaus never came back like he said, or if he did, I was already sleeping. Neville was snoring slightly beside me and I traced my fingers along his chest. "Hmm.." he opened his eyes, looking down at me with a smile. "Good morning…" I nodded and his hand found mine, his fingers running across mine, feeling the ring he placed there last night. I looked at it again, feeling like this was a perfect moment…and knew I was going to ruin it. "I need to take it off."
His eyes got big and he sat up, I followed suit, propping myself up on the pillows. "Why?" "Neville, are you really going to tell your Gran that you plan on marrying me? Now? You haven't even finished school. Neither have I. and I can't even walk. How am I suppose to walk down to marry you?" "So you're changing your mind? You don't want to marry me anymore?" I shook my head, taking his hand in mine. "Not at all. I'm just staying let's keep this between us…until we graduate. Then we can tell your family and start planning." his disappointment was on his face, but he agreed.
"As soon as we pass our exams next year. I want to marry you. The dark lord has returned…things are going to get dangerous." I nodded, then slid the ring off my finger, placing it on a chain and put it around my neck. "I'll keep it here, right by my heart." he seemed a bit happier that I was keeping it on me in some way. He left to change and go get breakfast as I changed and got settled into my chair. If I truly wanted to marry Neville, I was going to be able to walk down to marry him. I focused on my legs, staring hard as I tried to move them. I gave up when he returned, letting him help me down the stairs and into the dining room where Augusta was waiting for us.
The break was over too soon as Neville spent his time with me, watching me try to pull my powers out. Helping me practicing my spells and charms. Tending to the greenhouse, he wouldn't let me get near the Ganglion again, after seeing the pain I was in the last time. At night, we laid in the bed, talking about our plans for the future and our wedding. He was so excited that I had agreed, as if he didn't truly believe I wanted him as much as he wanted me. But soon, he had to go back to the school and I noticed Sanguini and Nikolaus still hadn't come by. It was a month after Neville left that I asked, feeling lonely when he was gone.
"Augusta, have you heard from my brother or Sanguini? They were supposed to come see me a while back." "Ah, Sanguini sent a letter, saying that Nikolaus and he was returning to his home country to work on his powers for a while. Saying that they would return in the summer." I sighed, I understood, Nikolaus needed to make sure he was in full control of his powers and Sanguini was the best bet of that happening. I excused myself to go tend to the greenhouse and on my way back, I stopped by the Ganglion.
Neville wasn't here anymore, I would be able to test it out again, to see what effects it had on me. The bulb looked like it was pulsating as I got closer, I ran my hand along it, feeling something bubbling inside of me. My claws slid out, no pain this time, I picked it out of the water and looked at it. It looked fine, like nothing special, but I could feel power flowing from it into me. I felt a sharp pain in my mouth as fangs pierced my bottom lip and I felt them, they were longer than normal, but smaller than after I took my father's power.
This plant had something to do with Vampires, it had to, being able to bring my powers out like this. I felt a pull toward it, I didn't fight it as I leaned down and pressed it to my lips. I opened my mouth and took a bite out of the bulb. I swallowed the bite, then started shaking and feeling a pulsating inside me. I coughed and smoke came out, I gagged, it felt as if I was burning inside. I fell out of the chair onto the ground, holding the bulb tightly against me. My vision blurred and got dark as I began to seize.
"Is she going to be alright Albus?" I heard a voice, but it was so far away. "This is a very rare case. Aethna is unique herself, and to eat a plant that nearly nothing is known about, is very dangerous. No way to know until she wakes up, Augusta." Dumbledore's voice was there too, but I couldn't move, everything felt like I was wrapped tightly into a blanket, I was so hot, my body seemed to be burning. "Don't tell Neville. He'll come home to be with her. He'll fall behind. School will be the last thing on his mind. Albus, promise me you won't tell me this has happened. Tell no one."
The voices continued speaking, but I faded back into the darkness. Next time I came to, I was able to open my eyes, seeing a blurry figure sitting beside the bed. I tried to move, but it was still so difficult and warm. "I told you to return to school Neville." "Gran, it's bad enough you never even told me! You know how much she means to me!" another figure appeared on my other side, they were arguing over me, but hadn't notice I was awake. "Neville, she's just a girl. You'll get over her, you need to focus on your future, school needs to be your focus. Not some half-vampire girl." "Gran! Don't you dare say that about her! She's my everything! I'm going to marry her!"
It was quiet as the smaller figure sank into a seat and Neville's figure stood above me. "You what? Boy, that is nonsense. Impossible." "It's not. She's already said yes. At Christmas time. She asked me to hold off, to keep quiet until after we finished school. She's been so focused on making me into the man I am today. She's the reason I've pushed myself this hard, I want to be worthy of being with her. She's my future. You've just got to get over that. This is going to happen." "And if she never wakes up, boy. What if she is gone?"
It was quiet for a while, before Neville's soft voice came to my ears. "Then I'll be happy that I got to be with her for the time we had. I'll be heartbroken and I'll never recover. I'll never love again. Never marry. Gran, I don't want anything else in life except Aethna. She is the reason I get up and go to class, she's the reason I want to learn new things. I want her to meet my parents, I want her to be a part of our family. Whether you want it or not, she is already a part of my family. She is going to be my wife." I felt tears dripping from my eyes, catching their attention.
"Aethna, you're awake!" his face came close to mine, he was kissing me I believe…I felt pressure, but that was it. "Gran, get out please. Just go." his voice told his Grandmother and I heard footsteps. "Why did you eat the plant? It was causing you pain by touching, why would you even try to eat it." he asked and I tried to speak, but it was as if I was frozen. "Aethna, can you speak?" I tried to shake my head, but nothing happened. "I'm guessing no…but it's okay, just rest. I'm right here. I swear I'm never going to leave you again."
I closed my eyes, feeling horrible, he had found out and left school, forgetting about his future for me…again. Now he's not going to leave until I was better. I needed to get healed and out of this bed. Inside my mind, I focused on imagining forming a piece of me. I opened my eyes and saw the common room around me. It looked as if it did all those years ago, I saw Neville and my younger self sitting on the couch, working on our homework. This was when I allowed myself to love him, when I decided that I would love him no matter what.
I watched the scene play out, our bump into each other, our awkwardness. It was sweet, and I was rushed forward, the scene changing in an instant. I was hiding under the bleachers, Neville looking for me. I wasn't in control, I stared at how I looked, vampiric powers out of control, about to attack him. I was ready when the scene changed and I was in the darkness again, at the compound with my father, I could see myself feeding mercilessly against the innocent people he gave to me. I was an animal, dirty and unneat appearance. It was as if I was looking into a fun house mirror.
Suddenly the past me stood and walked over to me, her eyes blazing crimson, her fangs bared and coated with fresh blood. "What are you doing here!" her voice was harsh and raspy, then I realized she was speaking to me. "What?" "You don't belong. Get out of here." she hissed and I took a step back, wishing the scene would change. I didn't want to go back to that. "You are real?" "Of course. I'm the vampire inside. The one you tried to force out! The one that makes you strong! I should rip you to shreds!" her claws twitched and reached for me, but I held up my hands, seeing my wand in it.
"Oh really. Threatening a vampire with magic? Sounds stupid." I lowered the wand, standing tall, matching her height. "I don't want to fight. I'm trying to heal us, get us back to what we were-" "Never! You betrayed me, we had so much power, finally getting revenge from our father. Finally free and you try to force me out!" "I wasn't trying to force you out! I just wanted to be able to be normal again. As normal as I was." "Oh poor thing, couldn't handle food or the sun! You want to play human, you want to pretend you don't want to eat them all!" I blinked, picturing Neville's sweet face. I may have thought that in the beginning, but no longer.
Neville's body appeared beside me, making my vampire self step back and look him up and down. "OH please! This is the cause of your weakness!? Damn, that's pathetic!" she placed her hand on Neville's chest and pushed, making him fall to the ground. I bent to help him, but he stayed there. "That's where he belongs, at our feet. A slave for us to use however we want. Don't tell you you've never thought it. Don't lie to yourself." I nodded, standing and facing her.
"That's true, I won't lie. I used to think that. However, this man has shown me such love and shown me that life is much more than power and revenge. He has been there for us through everything. He has given himself to us fully and planned a future for us. He loves us." he stood and took my hand, smiling at me as my vampire self scoffed and gagged. "He's just going to leave us one day. Then I'll have to look out for us, protecting your broken heart." "He won't. I trust him with my life." "Our life you mean. And I don't trust him. Humans are unreliable to our kind."
I sighed, it was useless, she was me, we were both going to fight until we gave out and I know I would before her, she was my vampire side and it was no contest. I watched Neville fade away, and sat down in front of her, she followed suit. "Are we going to be alright?" her eyes softened a bit, her fangs looking less dangerous. "It's unsure. You did the right thing though." I remembered the bulb and it appeared between us. She traced her fingers gently along it, as if it was a baby. "This is what caused me to be unable to move, unable to speak, basically in a coma."
"But better off than unable to walk or tap into my power?" her tone was bored, as she continued to rub the plant. "What is this doing to me? Do you know?" her head shook, but she handed the plant to me. "All I know was that I was unable to even breath until you bit into the plant. It was as if I was crushed under a rock. I felt you pushing me out, our power leaving us. Then it was just dark. I was frozen…just as you are now." I felt horrible, she was part of me, I wasn't trying to push her out. Only my fathers power, I guess I deserved to feel what she had to feel while I was stuck in the chair.