Li lay on her bed, her mind swimming with the afternoons events. As soon as she'd woken up, Lucien had bundled her into the car and taken her home. She couldn't help but feel like he was ashamed of her and she felt weak, and embarrassed that she'd caused such a fuss. He'd sent her to sleep it off and told her they would talk about it when she was ready, and she had woken after a short nap to a pounding head, and now couldn't fully relax back to sleep.

She picked up her phone and saw she had two new messages. Opening the first one she smiled.

It was Charlie.

"Where did you go?"

Li thought quickly. How could she explain this to him? Especially in a text message. "I had to go home."

"Is everything ok?"

"Not sure…" Li chewed her lip as her stomach churned.

"What's wrong? Li, are you alright? What's happened?"

Li managed a small smile at Charlie's questions. "I'm ok, Just had a bit of a shock that's all. I really need to talk this over with someone. Can I call you?"

"Mate, SOME of us are still at school! 😄"

Despite her worries, Li smiled and looked over at the clock which sat on her bedside table. It read 2.57pm "Ok, call me when you get out?"

"Will do. You sure you're ok?"

Li sighed. "I'm alright, I'll tell you all about it later," she typed the reply, then opening the second message she frowned slightly as she saw it was from Mattie.

"Hey, You ok? You disappeared. Did Mrs Beazley give you a hard time?"

Li rolled her shoulders uncomfortably. She didn't want to lie to her friend, but she didn't particularly want to tell her the truth either. Not just yet. Not when she herself didn't know what she would do. And especially not when the outcome of her decision would affect Mattie. She chewed her lip.

"I had a headache. And went home. I'll see you tomorrow." There. It wasn't a lie after all.

"Ok. Hope you're feeling better soon. Hugs."

She put her phone down and closed her eyes as her head pounded against her eyelids. Her mind wandered back to what had happened. She felt like she was ten years old, the way she'd cried in her fathers arms. 'Childish and immature.' A nasty voice in her head sneered. 'You don't see Mattie or Rose losing the plot over trivial things. How can you expect someone like Charlie to even give you a second glance?' A tear slid out of her closed eye and she quickly wiped it away as she heard a soft knock at her door.

"May I come in?" Lucien stood in the doorway with a cup of tea in each hand.

Li sat up in her bed, nodding her head slightly trying not to wince as the pain slashed through her head.

"How are you feeling?" Lucien indicated the mug in his hand, "I brought you a cup of tea, if you're up for it?"

"Thanks Papa," Li reached for the tea and sipped it gingerly.

"May I sit down?"

Li shuffled her legs to one side of the bed to make space and Lucien sat and sipped his tea. There was an uncomfortable silence as Lucien searched for the right words.

"Li, What happened today…"

Li cut him off, "I'm sorry Papa! I didn't mean to cause such a fuss. I'm so sorry. I promise it won't happen again!"

Lucien looked at her worried, tear stained face and his heart ached. "Li," he said gently, "This was not your fault." He put a hand on her shoulder, "What I was going to say is…" he cleared his throat and tried again, "What happened today… I want to make sure you never have to go through that again. I can't help but think this is all my fault. I know it's been tough for you, losing your mother the way we did, and I know the way I dealt with things didn't help. I'm sorry Li. I want to make things right. I want you to have a normal teenage life, and enjoy doing things with your friends, without worrying about me, or schoolwork." Lucien dropped his eyes to where his hands now enclosed hers. "Please Li, tell me how I can help?"

Li's eyes filled with tears in the brief silence that followed as she took in his words. Finally she found her voice. "Papa. Please don't blame yourself. Please?"

Lucien looked up into Li's eyes and she was surprised to find his eyes were also wet.

"I really didn't want to bother you with all this," Li wiped her cheeks.

"Bother me with it?" Lucien's voice cracked with emotion as he spoke. "Li, I'm your father, It's my job to be bothered with things like this." Lucien paused. "Do… Do you feel you can talk to me?"

Li hesitated. "Sometimes I do. But sometimes I just need an outsider to talk with. And sometimes I don't even know what I need to talk about."

Lucien nodded "Mrs Beazley suggested maybe talking to the school counsellor?"

Li made a face. "Mrs Toohey? She's nice, but a bit insipid… Plus, all the other kids would know, I feel like they would whisper about me always being in her office."

"I see, Well, shall we look at finding you someone outside the school to speak with?"

Li chewed on the inside of her cheek. "Maybe."

Lucien rubbed his chin, "I, uh… might look at finding someone too." He patted her hand. "How are you feeling?"

"Alright, apart from a splitting headache." She remembered the cup of tea in her hand and took a small sip.

"I'll go and get you some Panadol." Lucien stood and leaning over pressed a kiss to the top of her head, "I'll be right back.

As he left Li took another much longer sip of the tea and felt its hot sweetness flow through her body. As she drank, she thought about what Mrs Beazley had offered her this afternoon. Aida. Could she do it? At the back of her mind she knew it was what she had wanted since she heard about the auditions, but she had never believed it could actually happen. Now after working with Miss Nell her courage had grown and she was actually beginning to think she might be able to do it. But what about Mattie? Her heart sank at the thought of her friend. Would Mattie hate her? If she said yes? Would she feel cheated? Would she be jealous? She'd only known Mattie for a few weeks, not long enough to understand how she would react. And Mattie was her first real friend, could she really risk ruining that friendship? Would Li resent her if she said no to the role? She pushed a hand through her long, tangled hair and sighed with frustration.

Lucien opened the medicine cabinet and as he grabbed the box of painkillers he wondered whether or not to broach the subject of the musical with Li. Perhaps it was too soon. Maybe over dinner if she felt well enough to eat. He had poured her a glass of water and started to head back to her bedroom, when he heard a tentative knock on the door. He frowned slightly as he headed towards the door. Whoever it was, he'd tell them to go away.

Opening the door he recognised the face before him.

"Mr Blake, I'm not sure if you remember me, I'm…"

"Charlie Davis."

Charlie felt his ears burn "Yes. Um… Is Li here? She left school without telling anyone where she was going, and I got a very weird message from her when I asked. She said to give her a ring, but I thought I'd call in on my way home and make sure she was here. Just in case…" he shrugged, "I dunno, just in case she was in some kind of trouble. It's not like her Mr Blake."

Lucien patted the back of his own head thoughtfully ,"Yes Charlie, she is here. I'm not sure if she's up for visitors though." He indicated for Charlie to come inside. "Come in anyway, I was just taking these to her," he waved the painkillers around, "so I'll ask if she wants to see you."

Charlie nodded as he watched the older man walk away, but inside his stomach twisted. Was Li sick? Charlie couldn't bear to think about it. He'd grown very fond of her, and if he was honest with himself he was falling for her. Falling for her quiet shy eyes that lit up when she talked about music, for her small smile that he felt was bestowed on him more than others. He rubbed his palms on his trousers and waited nervously.

"Li?" Lucien knocked on her door, "Are you still awake?"

Her voice came from inside her room, "Yes Papa."

He pushed the door open, "I brought you the painkillers and some water."

"Thank you." Li blinked slowly as he made his way toward her bed. As she took the glass of water from his hand, he popped two Panadol out of the blister pack into her other hand and she obediently gulped them down.

"Do you think you're up for a visitor?"

Li frowned, "What? Who?"

"That friend of yours, Charlie, he's in the kitchen."

Li's eyes grew wide, "What? What is he doing here?"

Lucien nodded his head back in the direction he'd come. "He came to check on you, said he was worried after he received a strange text message from you?"

Li rubbed her face. "I knew I shouldn't have said anything. Ugh. What do I do?"

"Well I did tell him you might not be up to seeing people, so if that's the case I can tell him to go home," Lucien looked sideways at Li, "Or if you want someone to talk things over with I can send him in?"

"Here? In my room?" Li looked around her room in alarm. It wasn't messy, but she definitely would have tidied things up if she'd known she was going to have a visitor. Especially a boy. Especially a boy called Charlie Davis.

"Well unless you're feeling up to moving into the lounge." Lucien raised his eyebrows.

Li looked to her father "No, not really. I guess Charlie can come in."

Lucien nodded and smiled. He turned and left the room.

"Charlie, you can go in, just be aware, she's a little sensitive."

Charlie nodded at him and as he walked towards the room he wondered once again just what he was going to find.

Peeking around the door he saw Li sitting up in bed. She smiled at him.

"Hello Charlie."

"Li. Are you alright? I've been so worried!"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be so cryptic"

"I apologise for just dropping in like this."

Li waved a hand ,"No It's alright. I'm glad you're here. I need to talk this over with someone."

"This? What is this? Li, Why are you being so mysterious? You're worrying me. Are you sick?"

"Charlie, please, stop worrying. I.. just… fainted, that's all," Li avoided his eyes.

"Fainted?" Charlie's voice rose.

"It was…my anxiety." She scrunched up her nose, screwed her eyes shut and leant her head back, unsure of how to proceed. Her stomach swirled and she forced herself to breathe deeply.

Charlie moved towards her and tentatively sat on the edge of the bed. "What happened Li, What aren't you telling me?"

Li opened her eyes and looked at his face. Seeing his worried eyes search her face she took another deep breath and exhaled slowly. Finally she spoke in a voice so quiet Charlie had to strain to hear. "Mrs Beazley… She, uh, asked me to play Aida."

Charlie's eyes bugged out of his head as a wide grin spread over his face. "What? That's great!"

"But my stage fright!"

Charlie took her hand and looked into her face. "Boo to your stage fright. Haven't you already shown that it can be conquered? You've only been working on it with Miss Nell for a week and already you're so much more confident."

Li faltered as he took her hand and she stared at their joined hands. Tears threatened to breach her eyes once more. "But what about Mattie?"

Charlie shook his head with a small smile. "What about her?"

"Won't she think I've stolen the role from her?"

"Li, It's not her role. It was never her role, And she's your friend. I'm sure she'd be over the moon for you."

"Charlie, I've never had a best friend before, I don't want to lose her now," she whispered as if sharing some sort of guilty secret.

"Li, Mattie's not like that, I promise."

"How can you be sure?" Li felt her ears begin to ring as her heart began to beat faster.

Charlie heard a note of hysteria in her voice, "Li, Don't work yourself up about it. Just breathe. Mattie's not going to hate you if you say yes."

A lone tear trickled down Li's cheek and Charlie stopped it with a gentle finger to her face.

"It's your choice Li, It's up to you. I mean, I think you would absolutely ace it. I believe in you."

Li smiled and leant into his touch. "Thanks Charlie."

Charlie looked around and his eyes fell on a photograph of a woman with Li's smile. He took it in his hands. "Is this your mother?"

"Yes."

He paused and waited for her to continue. When she didn't Charlie spoke again. "What happened to her?"

Li sighed and leant back on her pillows.

Charlie shot a worried look at her, "Sorry, if you'd rather not talk about it…"

"No, its fine Charlie, it really is. You're my friend and at some stage I would have to tell you."

Charlie listened carefully as she explained the reason for her mothers absence. His eyes grew wide as she told him how she'd gone to teach in Africa and not returned.

"You mean… you don't know if she's even alive?"

"No" Li's voice was barely a whisper.

Charlie swallowed carefully. "So how long has it been? Since you saw your mum?"

Li smiled sadly. "I never would have called her 'mum' it was 'mama' or 'mother.'" She pushed a hand through her hair. "It's been 7 years now."

"Wow. I'm sorry."

"It was awful at first, but I guess I've kinda learned to live with it, you know? And if she hadn't gone away, I never would have come to Australia, never would have come to Ballarat and I never would have met you. Or Mattie, or the others. I was pretty miserable back in Singapore.

"Then I guess in an odd kind of way, I'm glad."

Li smiled a shy smile at him, hardly believing the turn this day had taken. "Me too," she whispered, "me too."

Lucien dried the last dish and threw the tea towel over his shoulder. As he strolled across the kitchen to put the cup away his phone rang. He smiled when he saw who it was.

"Jean."

"Lucien. How is she?"

Lucien heard the catch in her voice and could tell she'd been beating herself up over it all afternoon. "Jean please stop worrying."

"How is she?" Jean repeated urgently.

"She's fine Jean. Or at least she will be. I took your advice and suggested a counsellor."

There was silence. "Does she hate me?"

"Hate you Jean? Why?"

"It was my fault that…"

Lucien stopped her "No Jean. None of this was your fault."

"But I…"

"Not your fault, End of discussion." There was a pause as Lucien looked for something to say "That boy, who is a friend who I'm not allowed to call a boyfriend, Charlie, He's here. Dropped in to see her."

There was another silence

"I called back in after my yard duty was over but you'd gone." Jean's voice was quiet, tentative.

"Li woke up and I took her home."

There was more awkward silence. Then Jean spoke once more "Did you happen to take one of those books home with you? The Magicians Nephew? The other two were still there."

Lucien looked around the kitchen and his eyes fell on the book on the counter. "Ah, yes I did actually. Sorry, I didn't realise. I was reading it when Li woke up and I must have tucked it under my arm."

"No No, It's alright, I was just making sure you had it. I checked it out under my name and I don't want Eve Neville coming after me when I don't return it," Lucien was relieved to hear the hint of a smile in her voice.

Lucien nodded with knowing smile, "Librarian?"

"Mhmm."

"Ah, always the scariest person in the school." Lucien grinned with the memory of his own librarian, "I'll send it with Li tomorrow."

"No hurry, keep it if you want to finish it. As long as I know where it is."

"Thank you, Jean."

"Please don't Lucien, Don't thank me. No matter what you say I still feel somewhat responsible."

"Jean, how many times must I tell you? This was not your fault."

There was a silence on the other end of the phone.

"I messaged a friend of mine from church and I've got the name of a counselling practice she recommended. Do you have a pen?"

Lucien leant over and scribbled down a name and phone number as Jean recited it.

"Lucien has she said anything about… Aida?"

"I was going to ask her about it over dinner. I'm glad Charlie is here actually. He might be just the right person to give her a push."

"Alright." Jean sounded tired.

"Jean, go and have some tea, and an early night, and just forget about all of this. Li will be at school tomorrow and she will tell you what she's decided."

"Thank you Lucien."

"And thanks for the number"

"It's a husband and wife team apparently, So if it works out, you can talk to the husband and Li can talk with the wife."

"Sounds good, I'll mention it again to Li over dinner and maybe give them a call tomorrow. Thank you again Jean. I know you're feeling bad about everything but please don't. I'm just glad you were there. You obviously care very much for your students. I saw how you looked after Li," His voice caught in his throat as her recalled the tender way Jean had brushed the hair from Li's sweaty forehead.

"We'll talk soon," was Jean's reply.

Jean put down the phone. And stared at the picture of Lucien she'd snapped the night of the information evening that she'd saved as his contact picture. His mouth was open with laughter and his eyes sparkled. She felt the corners of her mouth twitch and her eyes softened. The she frowned slightly. She knew she was in danger of falling for this hot mess of a man. 'Forget it Jean Beazley,' she scolded herself slightly. 'Just because he's being nice to you doesn't mean he's interested in you. He's got far too much on his plate at the moment anyway to even look your way.' She sighed and reached into the freezer for a frozen meal.