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Confession

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She looked forward to breakfast. But she also dreaded the conversation with the family. All the previous breakfasts had become more and more relaxed for Barbara, and there also always was some playful banter with Judith or even Daze. But this time, although they definitely did not know what it was exactly, they knew that something very special had happened between her and Tommy before yesterday's dinner. It was obvious. Tommy and Barbara could not hide it.

It had happened here in this bathroom.

Barbara stared into the mirror above the sink. In her left hand she held her toothbrush and in her right hand the toothpaste tube. In her head thoughts whirled around the previous evening with a lot of revelations. After Daze and Judith had left for the play in Nanrunnel, Tommy and she finally had been alone. They just would not be alone for breakfast.

In the corner of her eyes she saw Tommy's green tartan pyjamas so she knew he was down there already.

Barbara could hear distant bustling with dishes when she slowly started brushing her teeth.

... x X x ...

Tommy looked at Barbara for quite a while. She held his gaze although it made her nervous. Her hands were slightly trembling and so she had to place her beer on the table next to her. Then she folded her hands in her lap and stared into the fire. He covered her fingers with his.

"Barbara?" he tried to get her attention.

"Hm?" Her eyes did not leave the flickering flames.

Patiently he waited in silence until she looked into his eyes again. "I'm so happy." Tommy whispered and leaned across. With his fingertips he held her face in place when he gave her a kiss.

Barbara closed her eyes and did not move away. He read it as the invitation to touch her lips again. The kiss they shared was slow and gentle but it was not devoid of intensity.

"I can't get my head around it yet." she whispered when they parted eventually.

Barbara and Tommy leaned sidewards against the backrest, hugging, looking at each other slightly breathless. His fingertips caressed her cheek and her hand was gently placed against his chest.

He smiled softly. "Why?"

Barbara shrugged. "Probably because I'm so used to... Well, to be the only one harbouring such feelings. And... You're my boss, you're the Eighth Earl of Asherton. I'm just a- mmh!"

He had placed his fingers on her lips.

"You're not just whatever you wanted to say." he objected. "You're the wittiest, the funniest, the most empathetic and the most loyal person I know. You're my colleague, my partner in crime-solving, my friend, my confidant. And you are my soulmate. I just never knew what I have... what was already right under my nose for years. And then I couldn't imagine that you'd feel what I feel for you."

"For years."

"Exactly. I was so blind-"

"No, I mean... I've loved you for years." Barbara grinned wryly. "I just thought I knew it was futile."

They finally had a long conversation about their emotions, about what they feel for each other. How the slow progress of discovery crept into their minds and how the realisation had hit them eventually. They revealed why they kept it a secret. They admitted how long they actually had felt more for each other than just friendship. They also talked cautiously about the future, what the rest of his family was going to say about it, or his lot, and what the Met would say, or even how a life together could be. The latter, of course, only vaguely.

Outside it was pitch dark. The wind was howling around the house and rain was dropping heavily against the window. Barbara was cuddled into his side. Tommy had placed his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. Their hands were entwined. Their feet laid on a footrest before them. He had brought it when he had returned from the kitchen with another bottle of beer. Together they stared into the dying fire and kept quiet for a long time.

Eventually Tommy sighed and squeezed Barbara's shoulders.

"Hm?" She barely raised her head. In fact, she only pressed it softly against his shoulder.

"That's what I had planned for tonight." He placed a kiss onto her hair and went on quietly. "Sit with you by the fire, snuggle, talk... and declare my love for you properly."

"Yeah, you've mentioned something like that..." Now she looked up and they shared a contented and gentle smile. Tommy had to twist but only could reach her nose with his lips. Barbara chuckled. "You know, I also had planned to tell you some news."

"That you love me?" he asked softly.

"No. Actually I had not planned to reveal that."

"It makes me rejoice all the more, that you did." After a while he went on. "What's your news then?"

Barbara chewed on her cheek for a while and she deeply inhaled before she answered. "I've passed the last exams."

Tommy apparently did not get it at first. "Exams? Which exams?"

"Well, obviously I don't get my diploma for surgery, Sir." She laughed out loud seeing him making a weird face. It lit up with what she told him then. "No... Our Chief Super politely had asked me to finally climb the ladder. And I had no good justification why I shouldn't. And then... ah, well, about four weeks ago I've passed my last exams to get promoted."

"Oh, Barbara, that's wonderful." Tommy sat up from their cuddly position and gave her several happy kisses. "So it's DI Havers from now on?"

She shook her head. "No, I haven't agreed on that by now."

"Why not?" The disbelief in his voice was almost palpable.

"I don't want to stop working with you." Barbara quietly confessed. She blushed.

"Well..." Tommy wiggled his head and grinned. "I think we have something incredibly better by now."

When they parted their lips eventually, her entire body was glowing. It was warm in the study although the fire had died down almost completely.

"I'm going to stoke the fire again, my soon-to-be DI Barbara Havers." Tommy said tenderly and gave her another brief kiss. When he got up their eyes stayed locked and their hands stayed connected for a while until the tips of their fingers finally left contact.

Barbara sighed and let her head bump onto the backrest of the settee. She closed her eyes. She could sit here for the rest of her life, she thought.

The storm outside was still howling around the edges of the old house.

"What a storm." Tommy mumbled with a look out of the window. He meant the weather outside but Barbara related it to her storm inside. She nodded with an impish grin. "Another drink?" he asked, but she shook her head.

Kneeling down, Tommy took a few logs from a basket and poked in the remnants of the previous fire before he put the new wood onto it.

... x X x ...

Barbara grinned when she spit out the toothpaste froth. It was good that they had had no more drinks or else she would have woken up even later and with a headache. She finished her morning routine and went to get dressed for breakfast. A look in the mirror on the huge wardrobe in her room told her that she looked passable in jeans and jumper. She could face her hosts now.

They had been extremely nice yesterday evening anyway.

At the foot of the stairs she saw a small puddle of water under a coat hanging over the handrail. It had rained heavily all throughout the night. Watching the open air play probably had been a real challenge for Judith and Daze.

At least they would have a topic to talk about. A topic that was not Tommy and Barbara.

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