Her door chirped once, twice.

Beverly moved the arm she had draped over her forehead and opened her eyes. Her bedroom was dark, only the light of the stars passing by at high warp filtered through, drawing faint shadows on the carpet. She had discarded her lab coat, which now lay on the floor, and the uniform she still wore was crumpled from all the tossing and turning.

"Computer, time?" She asked, her voice groggy from the exhausted, fitful sleep she had fallen into.

The time is 2334 hours.

Just as she raised herself up on her elbows, she heard the door swish open. With a start, she jumped off the bed and reached the door to her living area, coming face to face with none other than her captain, who had stopped dead in his tracks like a deer in headlights.

"Jean-Luc? What are you doing?"

He seemed taken aback by the belligerence in her tone. "I just finished on the Bridge and I wanted to see how you were doing."

"So you thought to burst into my quarters in the middle of the night?"

He actually appeared embarrassed this time, "Sorry about that, I didn't get an answer and I thought…"

"That's because I was sleeping."

"Of course, I'm sorry."

He raised his eyes to hers and took in her appearance. Her hair was messy, and the outline of her eyes was red.

"Have you been crying?"

Her whole demeanour changed as she slowly crossed her arms. "Yes," she simply said.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, taking a step forward and lightly touching her elbow.

"I don't know," was her soft-spoken reply.

He gently put pressure on her elbow and steered her towards the couch. "Talking helps sometimes."

Once she was seated, he walked towards the replicator and ordered ginger tea, hot. The steaming cup was then placed on the low table in front of the doctor, who was resting her head on her hands.

As soon as the captain sat down beside her, she blurted out, "Jean-Luc, I'm so sorry. I've been awful to you these past few days." She covered her face with her hands. "I'm sorry."

If he was struck by her sudden display of emotions, he didn't show it. "You haven't. You have nothing to apologize for."

She lowered her hands. "I have. And I do. This situation…" she huffed, "I don't know how to deal with it. So I lashed out, at you and at myself. I got so defensive and didn't know how to stop…"

Jean-Luc put a hand on her thigh and squeezed lightly. "That's perfectly understandable. This must be so difficult for you-"

"I don't know how to face her, Jean-Luc. She scares me. She stands for everything I fear… she's alone, Jean-Luc." The tears that had been threatening to fall for the last five minutes chose that moment to do so. "I don't want to imagine how she must feel because I know only too well. I felt it so vividly with Jack, it's the most horrific feeling in the world… I don't want to go through that again, I can't…"

"Hey, you won't have to." Jean-Luc took her hands in his and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "I know you have suffered greatly in your life. I know you have a fear of abandonment because of your parents' death and what happened later at Arvada III. I was present at Jack's death." Jean-Luc spoke the words as a way of catharsis. "But you're not alone now, you have Wesley. And you have me. And we're not planning on going anywhere." He smiled.

Her sobs were quieting down, and she leaned her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"Will you stop apologizing? You have every right to feel this way." He retorted, feeling his uniform get wet for the second time that day.

"I'm sorry for being sorry." She said, feeling her eyelids getting heavy.

After a moment in which Beverly simply took comfort in Picard's soothing presence, he softly spoke up. "I think we should get you to bed, it's rather late."

She hummed her assent and detached herself from her captain's warmth. "Thank you, Jean-Luc."

"Hey, anytime", he replied.

ooOoo

The next morning, Beverly awoke groggily to the sound of the alarm: The time is 0630 hours.

Immediately, she became aware of a feeling in her belly she couldn't quite make out. It was warm and fuzzy, and it seemed to try to tell her something.

Maybe I have to pee.

In the bathroom, she tried to recall what she had been dreaming, but it eluded her. One thing she knew though, the night had left her with a positive outlook, something she hadn't had in a while. Her talk with Jean-Luc the previous night had also appeased some of her concerns.

Heading to the replicator, she realized she wasn't actually in the mood to eat, her stomach doing somersaults. What is wrong with me this morning? I've got butterflies in my stomach or what?

She settled for a quick coffee, steaming hot.

ooOoo

When she arrived in Sickbay, Beverly noticed she wasn't the first. Nurse Ogawa was already buzzing around from monitor to monitor, carrying petri dishes of all sorts and exchanging them for hyposprays and medical tricorders.

"Good morning, doctor." She cheerfully greeted her boss.

"Good morning, Alyssa. Did you sleep well?", Beverly inquired.

The nurse brushed past her with a sample kit, "I did, thanks for asking. I was at Lieutenant Powell's", she jokingly whispered.

At that, Beverly brightened up. "You see, I told you it was going to be all right!"

"It certainly seems that way!", Alyssa answered giddily.

Beverly was about to head into her office, when a soft groan was heard coming from the other side of Sickbay. She exchanged a look with her nurse, then headed towards the sound.

ooOoo

For the second time, she felt herself being pulled from the nothingness. There was nothing she could do to stop the resurfacing of her senses, so she let herself become aware of her surroundings. As she blinked her eyes, a face came into focus.

"Oh, it's you", she croaked.

"It is me", the face hovering over her replied cautiously.

"It's all true, isn't it?", she tentatively asked.

"I'm afraid so", the face answered.

She felt fat tears coming to her eyes and spilling over, and something inside her that had been mended over the course of several years broke again. The loneliness crept on her like a thousand snakes and she hauled herself up, not wanting to be there anymore. She saw the other Beverly holding her hands out to stop her and heard her saying something, but it all registered as gibberish in her brain. She realised she wasn't breathing, so she took a tentative breath.

"I'd like to be released to quarters, if I can have one", she managed to say somewhat reasonably.

"I'm not sure that's prudent, I'd like to keep you here for a few more hours, and besides you need rest-"

Beverly cut her off, feeling the panic attack rising and rising, "I can rest in a bed. Now, please, my quarters." She begged the other woman with her eyes.

The doctor eyed her, then softly spoke. "Okay then."

ooOoo

"Where is she?" Captain Picard stalked into Sickbay, almost trampling nurse Ogawa.

"If you mean the other doctor Crusher, she was released to quarters, sir", the nurse hesitantly explained.

Picard whirled around. "You released her to quarters? Alone?"

When he was notified the other Beverly had left Sickbay on her own, he had felt an ominous feeling in his stomach. She couldn't be left alone to her own devices, not in the state she was in. This had been a grave oversight on the part of his medical staff.

The nurse appeared uncertain. "I think there's a guard at her door, sir."

Shaking his head, Picard stormed out in a hurry just as Beverly was leaving her office.

"Captain?", she called, but he was already out the door.

ooOoo

The captain ran all the way to the quarters that had been assigned to their new guest. When he arrived, he saw that a crewman had indeed been posted at her door, as per protocol.

He quickly overrode the door and, for the second time that day, stepped inside the doctor's quarters uninvited, alternate and regular reality alike. He was starting to experience one too many déjà-vus for his liking.

It was dark. When the door swished close behind him, the only source of light remaining were the stars outside the window, lazily passing by. He couldn't see very well, in fact the first step he took collided against something hard. Ouch.

"Doctor Crusher?" He tentatively called out.