The Ballad of Katniss Clones and Leather Pants

by AmericanPi

(Complete) It's the Tenth Annual Hunger Games, and the inexplicably seventeen-year-old Coriolanus Snow is assigned to mentor a District 12 female tribute named Sagittaria Denver. Never mind that Snow grows up to be an evil dictator - here he is totally a sympathetic hero, y'all! Contains criticisms of and predictions for The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes.

1. Chapter 1

Hi my name is Coriolanus An'gel Dictator Malfoy Snow and I have curly snow white hair (that's how I got my name) with platinum blond streaks and glittery tips that smells of white roses and stormy gray eyes like wild tempests and a lot of people tell me I look like Joffrey Baratheon (if you don't know who he is get the hell out of here!). I'm not related to Draco Malfoy but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a villain but I'm also a Gary Stu. I have pale white skin. I'm also a Panemian, and I go to an Academy in the Capitol where I'm a senior (I'm seventeen). I'm rich (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly white. I love Valentino and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a white long-sleeved dress shirt under a very light blue almost white tuxedo jacket with gold trim and a white rose, very light blue almost white dress pants and white dress shoes. I was wearing White Desert Rose perfume, White Garden Rose throat spray, White Moonlight Rose hand lotion and White Royal Rose face cream. I was walking outside the Academy. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of oppressed people stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

"Hey Coriolanus!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was… Sagittaria Denver!

"What's up Sage?" I asked.

"Nothing," she said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

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A/N: This is going to be a quick parody story inspired by today's revelations about The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, the Hunger Games prequel that is set during the 10th Games and will be released on May 19th, 2020. Today is January 21st, 2020, and it was just revealed that a teenaged President Coriolanus Snow will be the protagonist of The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes. I am very unhappy about this for multiple reasons, the main one being that I don't want to see the evil dictator Snow as a sympathetic hero. I'm also predicting a lot of ridiculous things to happen in the book, and I will include these predictions in my parody story.

If you can't tell already, this story contains heavy criticisms towards The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes and its premise, so if you don't like it, don't read.

Many thanks to CelticGames4, HogwartsDreamer113, Sinfonian Legend, TheAmazingJAJ, and TheEngineeringGames for helping me brainstorm ideas for this story.