AN: I am here again to make up for the cliffhanger haha
These past days have been CRAZY. You feel it too right? Things just keep happening and I feel like I literally can't keep up... I need a vacation. After Earth, I'm sure I will go straight into soul asylum. Either that or Lyra-Vega, it's time mend the scars. Or so I've heard. Don't know when my next update will be, but I do know that there is a solar eclipse tomorrow and it will bring passionate, flaming, hot energy regarding love and sex. So stay tuned for that, maybe it's fitting that this chapter comes out now...
Please leave a review with your critique, I wouldn't be here without that stuff.
Songs for this chapter: Somewhere Only We Know by Keane, Agenda by Dani M
MAN MÅSTE TÄNKA FRITT FÖR ATT BLI FRI.
Hope you're all feeling well, we are in this together. As always, Happy reading!
Xoxoxo
Chapter 9
Ironically, it was not very (A)musing
He was barefoot, she noticed, clothed in black. Sasori seemed only a little bit surprised to find her there, especially in such a manner.
"I didn't see you there doll," he said, leaning on the door frame, crossing his arms.
Hinata continued massaging her chin, glancing up at him in a slight bitterness.
"Apparently so…" she muttered, confusion falling over her face like a shadow, "How long have you been here?"
"For a Hyuga, you're not very attentive to your surroundings," he flatly stated, "I've been here the whole time, I just didn't bother telling you."
The young Hyuga just stared up at her mentor in vexed irritation, feeling a headache bloom at her temples. Nothing made sense, as usual.
"Why?" she harshly asked, her attitude rising to new levels.
She knew he was a creep, that fact had been pretty obvious for at least a couple of years now. But that didn't mean that it wouldn't bother her sometimes. Like now for instance.
Something the older man noticed, much to his amusement. Little Hinata, who so rarely lost her temper, had a very short supply of it right now. It was always fun to play with her when she was in a mood and even more fun to put her in her place afterwards.
"I was busy. Besides I wanted to see what you were up to," he smoothly drawled out, his eyes dropping down to unapologetically stare at her chest before flickering up again.
He hadn't even bothered to be discreet so she noticed it right away. Though, it felt wrong to say that he was "checking her out", his stare had a different energy altogether. It had felt more like a judgement...
Her heart-shaped face bloomed pink and she promptly looked away, hiding behind her hair.
"Did you find anything interesting?" she got out in between her teeth, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Oh yeah definitely. I found it especially interesting how you seemed so comfortable in grabbing my senbons for your tinkering, It's almost as if you thought they were your own," Sasori sneered, his voice dripping with an acerbity that felt awfully direct.
She took note of that, feeling how the sheer mood in the atmosphere seemed to change in an instant. Frost in the air, as if they were outside. He started walking towards her, causing her to take a small step back, her arms falling from her chest.
It wasn't as if she was afraid of him though, intimidated, yes. But not fearful.
Nevertheless, in the blink of an eye, one of his hands was at her belt, opening the holster she had there. He swiftly grabbed the three senbons in between his knuckles and with a wide smile, that actually made her skin crawl, he picked them up, slowly traced their sharp tips over her abdomen.
Hinata blinked up at him, swallowing down her words. He was making a point and it was clear, she wasn't allowed to touch his stuff. But this was bad… very bad. Because the potion she had infused the senbons with, well it wasn't something she would normally be allowed to use…
"But surely, you just made a little mistake."
She sharply inhaled as the three tips suddenly prickled her skin and she felt like she was one breath away from disaster. Thus she was holding in her stomach to the best of her ability. Was he threatening her right now? Or was he just being himself?
Was he only doing this to scare her for his own amusement? Possibly so, it wouldn't be the first time...
Hinata inspected his tanned, symmetrical face with caution and concluded that she really had no fucking clue about anything at this point. Because he was always so intense and that intensity could be difficult to analyze. Was it good or bad? Who knows. Yet it danced across his face, his eyes narrowing a bit, like they were laughing at her.
At least his eyes looked (somewhat) entertained and not full-blown angry…
"I- I was just going to borrow them-" she blurted out, realizing that she should probably say something.
She could play dumb and see how far that would get her.
From the tension in his jaw and the blinking of his eyes, playing dumb was probably not the right choice. But she would still play that card when he asked her what she had infused the senbons with. After all, who can blame her for thinking it was a less-advanced poison, considering where she'd found it?
"Hinata," he snapped at her, his tone sharp and honed like a weapon, "I could be less interested in your excuses. Now what did you infuse them with?"
He came closer and she backed away until she felt the wooden surface of the door to the lounge at her back. The senbons had yet to leave her tummy and she fidgeted in discomfort, growing more and more concerned.
"I-I think it was called… something about A- Amuse, I don't really know. I just picked it because I liked the blue color of it," she explained, before hurriedly adding: "B-but it was in the "less advanced" section, so I technically didn't break any other rules besides the senbon part."
Sasori looked puzzled for a second, his eyes widening in recognition, before narrowing down again. It didn't look like he believed her.
"That's not a poison and it's definitely not supposed to be in that section," he coldly remarked.
Then, his eyes seemed to flicker like a light, before a teeth-filled grin clad his lean lips.
"Oh I know how to solve this."
"I'm telling you the truth!" she gasped out in disbelief, albeit feeling relief when he took away the senbons, placing them in his pocket.
That relief was very, very short-lived… to say the least.
"We'll see," was all he said before roughly grabbing her shoulder and turning her around.
In the blink of an eye, she had her cheek pressed up against the door, his body keeping her in place. A large hand pressed down onto her shoulder blades before gathering up her hair.
She didn't move at first, perplexed at how his touch almost seemed gentle but brutal at the same time. She discarded that thought when his fingers started digging into her skin.
"Hey!" she exclaimed, trying to move her head to no avail.
Hinata tried to wrest her body to the side, struggling against the force keeping her in place. Alas he was much stronger than her…
Just when she was about to really get serious, the hand on her back disappeared, although the other one still gripped her hair.
And really, it happened so fast. A sudden pain blossomed at the back of her neck, as something sharp and cold pierced her skin. Only a few inches deep but god did it hurt. A high-pitched scream wrenched itself free from her throat, her body stiffening up like a piece of wood.
Her body was remained petrified and tense, until it suddenly started to violently shake. She had no control over it, it felt as if a tug of war was going on inside her cells, rushing through her veins.
Her head proceeded to explode in tingling sensations, like an electrical current was imploding and causing all matters of chaos. It surged and thundered through her brain like a train would. Her scream died off in a hoarse wheeze, her eyes rolling back.
This was just terrible and with that thought, her mouth flew open.
"This is terrible, terrible, terrible, stupid, stupid-" her voice suddenly rambled out, still hoarse but very persistent.
Hinata slapped a hand over her moving mouth, her eyes wide in horror. He let go of her and she turned around at the sound of his laugh. His fucking laugh.
"Y-You have the nerve to laugh-" her muffled voice carried on, exposing every single train of thought she had, "You are s-so cruel! You're a vile terror of a person!"
He chuckled even more at her, shaking his head before his eyes zeroed in on her with an excitement that almost couldn't be measured.
"Don't be so dramatic, don't be such a girl," he leered at her, taking away her hand, which was still at her mouth. "Enjoy your freedom of speech."
Such a potent anger overcame her in that moment.
"I am a girl! What the hell are you supposed to be huh?! Y-You're not even a person, what are you? Some sort of machine?" she ranted, hot anger in her stomach, coped up with a tangible fear.
Fear and dread. Because she had no control and she knew it. She would have never said those things, she would have only thought them, not outright say them. This was not like her at all, it was all that stupid potion's doing.
"I would have never said these things if it weren't for that stupid potion…" she went on, her voice lowering itself a notch, albeit still quite erratic.
She stared up at him, shaking her head continuously and actually being grateful that he still looked thoroughly entertained with her. She couldn't have him mad at her, not now, not here. She was too vulnerable right now.
"I swear soon I'll say something so offensive, you'll cut me up and store me in that terrible freezer... OH MY GOD NO DON'T THINK-" she abruptly exploded when she realized she was about to think about offensive things to say, at least she knew her mind well enough to-
"You probably don't even have a normal di-mnhhmbg" Hinata muffled the rest by literally trying to swallow her own fist, her teeth clamping down on her knuckles.
Tears gathered at her eyes and she just crumbled to the ground, pressing her head up against the wall. She could not look at him, not when her tongue still tried to form words. All of her focus went to her hand, keeping it still lodged in her mouth so that only strange muffled sounds could be heard.
Sasori wasn't laughing anymore though. He was eerily quiet. She abruptly closed her eyes when she felt him grab her hair and pull. Hard. So hard that the only thing keeping her fist in her mouth was her teeth. Her teeth which had, undoubtedly, started to pierce her skin.
Well, rather her own teeth than something else...
"What the fuck-," he practically growled in her ear, leaning in so close to her that the only thing she could smell was him, "-did you just say?"
Every word was heavy with hostility, heavy with spite. Hinata thought about the same word over and over again, creating a mantra in her head. Subsequently, her mouth repeated them and Sasori harshly tugged her fist out of her mouth.
"NothingNothingNothing-" she bawled out, tears in her voice, her eyes shutting themselves even more tightly.
He snorted at that, humorlessly so.
"Oh no, no, no," he fumed, emphasizing his words, "There was something right?"
His sentence ended in a snarl and she just wanted nothing more than to be on the other side of the door she leaned on. Or on the other side of the globe for that matter.
"I want to be on the other side of the globe, please nonono…" she whimpered, fat tears rolling down her cheeks.
The hand in her hair, clawed even more at her raven strands. Another hand grabbed her chin and turned her head around.
"Look at me."
"No," she immediately hiccuped.
Sasori almost banged her head against the wall then and there. He restrained himself in the last minute and went for a different approach. The potion would only make her speak her mind. So he needed to find some way around that.
"If you don't open your eyes and look at me, I will inject you with the rest of senbons, I have two more right here, ready to go," he hissed at her, grinding his teeth at her persistent crying.
This made her eyes fly open in alertness. She even had her byakugan activated this time.
"NO PLEASE-" she bombarded, trembling in his grip.
"SHUT UP," he absolutely screamed in her face, making her head bang against the door as she reared back in alarm.
Her eyes so wide that they looked ready to pop at any second now.
He rarely raised his voice, he usually didn't need to. Watching her become so frightened like a small cub, was quite the picture but it also made him regret it. No matter what, he could not traumatize her enough to have her associate him with unsavory things.
It was in his best interest to not appear like Hiashi in her eyes...
His lips thinned out in a hard line as he took a deep breath through his nose. His hand released her chin to stroke her damp cheek, taking extra care to catch a descending teardrop on his finger.
"I won't shout at you again Hinata. It was a mistake," he steadily said, looking into her eyes.
This brat was not off the hook though. Far from it.
She trembled even more, her lips being the main muscle that seemingly couldn't stop quaking.
"P-P-Promise me that…" she got out.
His hand in her hair, softened and pulled her in for a hug. He could literally feel her melt into his embrace, like an icicle left out in the hot sun. He fondled her waist, feeling her sag against him, her breaths coming out in long puffs of air.
How easy it would be to just crush the air out of her. To collapse her lungs and break her ribs, as easy as popping a balloon.
"I promise," he purred out, not meaning any of it.
She hiccuped again, hiding her face into his neck.
"I-I'm sorry…" she almost whined and he could not help but smile at that.
Because now he had her exactly where he wanted her. He rocked her back and forth, patting her head. She huddled up against him, somehow wanting his touch, his warmth.
She really was self-destructive. But then again, children weaned on poison would consider hurt a comfort and those born without love, learn to lick it off of knives. All of Hiashi's handiwork.
"What? What for?" he asked, his voice so genuine, so unsuspecting, very convincing in its feigned confusion.
She had dropped her guard the moment he embraced her and now, she was just confused.
"For thinking you probably don't have a normal dick," she uncontrollably blurted out, the exact same moment she thought the words in her head.
Hinata froze in his grasp, her fatal error, dawning on her like a rising tidal wave. That voice, that had just heard, it was her own. She had heard it inside her head and outside her head. Just as he had.
She was still under the influence.
Complete and utter panic gripped her. Eyes wide, she pulled back to stare at him in horror but did not get far.
Her vision blurred as she was abruptly slammed sideways. It came with such a force that it might as well have knocked her out the moment she hit the ground.
At very least, it knocked the air out of her, leaving her in a state of shock. Wheezing on the hard ground, she felt her byakugan deactivate from the sudden force. Craning her neck, she stared back at him, her heart in her throat. He looked… beyond pissed, beyond angry.
Actually quite murderous.
Hinata instantly tried to crawl away, already feeling clumsy. Though his hand latched onto her ankle, a tenacious grip, painfully tight. He hauled her back with ease and she shouted nonsense, her voice shrill and loud.
"What the- Why are you-! Stop! Stop this!"
She sounded so crazy but honestly, by just taking a look at Sasori, she deduced that the crazy one wasn't her.
He only barked out a nasty laugh at her, grinning madly. But there was no humor in his grin, nor in his laugh and eyes. There was only something sadistic there, something that turned her stomach the more she looked at it.
He grabbed her thighs and smashed them together, pulling her down closer towards him. Towering over her, he put his knee over her legs, limiting her movements.
Hinata leaned up and put her hands on his chest, gritting her teeth.
"You stubborn son of bitch-!" she yelled out, trying with all her might to push him away.
She did not care if she spoke her mind, it wasn't like it was her fault. Another laugh was emitted from him, his white teeth gleaming down at her.
Both of his hands grabbed her wrists. He proceeded to push her left hand away and vehemently pressed it down onto the ground at his side. The other one was held in an iron grip, bruising her skin. She tried to free them to no avail.
Sasori just shook his head, looking down at her like she was some sort of misbehaving kid. His lips parted as if he was about to say something, but nothing came out. Instead, his eyes narrowed and widened as he slowly closed his mouth again.
Her breath hitched, unable to look away from his piercing stare, his eyes glistening like embers in the led lights above them. He looked thoughtful, scheming, maybe even boyish in some way...
"What's on your mind…" she breathed out in disorderly bewilderment.
He did not answer. Instead, the hand holding her wrist guided her motionless hand down. More and more teeth showed in his grin and her eyes became wider and wider and ultimately, so wide it started to hurt. It started to burn.
But she could not look away because- because had just placed her hand right on top of the sizable bulge in his pants. She just stared, eyes big like saucers, mouth gaping in sheer mortification. On their own accord, her eyes moved down to her hand and she made the horrid mistake of actually twitching two of her fingers.
It was hard, and big, and very much alive. And her treacherous tongue was already moving, all in sync with her razing thoughts.
"B-but It's so big-" she slurred out before coming to her senses.
Really, the only thing she could do was to bang her head against the floor. Which was what she did. Repeatedly. It made her focus on the pain instead.
The fingers holding her wrist, loosened their grip and his hand spread out on top of her own. He had the actual gall to grind her hand further against him, his hips slowly rocking. Her cheeks burned like they never had before, her ears hot.
"Oh no…" was all she could utter because right now, her mind was like a blank slate.
In a sense, she felt frozen.
He leaned down over and dipped his nose in her hair and she could feel his warm breath creep across her skin.
"I'm sure you can see now how disastrously wrong you are," he drawled out, his teeth smiling against her earlobe, "Not that you would know what a "normal" cock would feel like but I can assure you I'm fully functional," he continued, sounding so goddamn pleased with himself.
Hinata grimaced, clenching her jaw. She knew she should move her hand away but she could not even do that. Mostly because she couldn't bring herself to move a single muscle.
"Shut up, just shut up-" she uselessly whispered, the rest of her words falling away.
He had slanted his lips over hers, swallowing up her complaint. Her eyes just fell shut, her legs twitching and trembling. Although, she just let it happen. She made no resistance as his tongue skimmed over her teeth and scoured her mouth. Sweeping over her own smaller tongue and kneading it into submission.
He rocked his hips against her hand again and she realized that whatever he had in his pants, was growing harder. Should she take her hand away? Probably, but she didn't have it in her to make any sudden movements... Or so she told herself.
It was better to wait, even though she didn't really know what she was waiting for.
Sasori eventually released both of her hands, his lips leaving her swollen mouth. Her eyes parted and observed, her brain going crazy with all kinds of thoughts. However, she was not speaking her mind anymore. The potion must have worn off.
Good. At least something was going her way.
The puppeteer's breath was a bit more heavier than usual, his body rigid, his muscles tense. Her hand left his member, making him twitch at the movement. It traveled up to rest on his arm and his upper lip drew itself back in obvious disagreement.
Oh I'll give you something to agree on, she almost vehemently thought, so utterly pleased that she could do so in private.
You don't realize what a privilege it is to own your own mind, until it is taken away from you.
Plump lips parted in silent breath as her leg rose up and traced his inner thigh. Deliberately so, it went all the way up to his crotch, her pulse razing with each passing second.
She didn't even know why she was doing this. His hips jerked slightly, as did the muscles in his arms. Her eyes blinked up at him, her other leg going around his hip. Which seemed to set something off in him.
In a movement so fast she had a hard time comprehending it, he gripped her thigh and hoisted it higher up, making it drape around him like a snake would. He did the same with her other leg and pulled her up from the floor. Now sitting squarely on his lap, Hinata tensed up with a shocked gasp, bordering on a drawn-out moan.
He- He was right at her core, his hands grasping her behind and pushing her into him. Grinding their hips together in a slow rhythm. Warmth gathered in between her legs, aching and hot. Her legs tightened their hold around him, her hands gripping his shirt.
His lips found her neck, his tongue tracing her razing pulse. Another moan left her, an unsteady whimper as his teeth bit her skin. Her head fell back, her eyes closing themselves in pleasure as he rocked against her.
He was so hard it felt like she was grinding on something that couldn't possibly be a body part. It felt more like a rock, a rock that was perfect for the time being. One that hit all the right spots-
A strained but shrill yelp left her as his teeth clamped down a little bit too hard. His heavy breathing foaming over her neck, his tongue mapping the bruise he'd left her with. She grinded even more against him, her mind going haywire.
This was wrong, something told her. But it felt good.
Her nails dug themselves deeper into his shirt, feeling his hands roam over her body. His head was partially buried in her chest as he groped her butt to her thighs, her waist and chest. His fingers leaving a trail of fire.
He was especially rough with her bust, clawing at the sports bra as if he was trying to rip it open. Maybe he was… Hinata's upper body jolted a bit as he stuck his fingers inside her bodice and pulled at the garment.
"D-Don't ruin it," she mustered up the courage to say, hiding her face in his shoulder.
He scoffed at that.
"I'm not going to ruin something I bought for you with my own damn money, let's be reasonable here."
Hinata could not help the laugh that trickled out of her, of all the things to say…
In the end, his hand went around her back and unclipped the sports bra. She hadn't even decided if she was okay with that before he roughly tugged it upwards, getting it stuck around her head.
"Ehh-" was all that she got out.
He actually had the audacity to leave it there, his hands going to fondle her chest instead. Needless to say, she didn't feel very much appreciated, no matter how much pleasure that spiked through her when he pinched her nipples.
She reached up and tugged the sports bra off of her, glaring at his smug face. His only answer was to kiss her. The grinding of their hips never seized as he plundered her mouth, swallowing up her mewls and whimpers.
Eventually, one of his hands traveled down to her belt. She was so out of it that she hardly noticed his fingers, undoing it and pulling down the fly. It was when she felt his warm hand cupping her, albeit on the outside of her panties, that she realized what was happening.
Or well, she wasn't as daft as to not see it coming. As to not expect him to push her down and pull down her pants. Which he did, swiftly and with some strange expertise that caused her mind to spin around in tornado of-
Should she stop this? She knew she could if she wanted to. Hinata who was always so unsure, could still be sure of this: She alone steered her fate.
Her pants were somewhat roughly tugged off of her and nervousness itched her skin, like she had ants in her veins. There were a myriad of ways to get him to stop, he wasn't unstoppable. No one was.
Only question was, did she want to? Really?
Warm lips traced her neck, his teeth finding her pulse point. A violent shiver ran down her spine, her hands feeling the muscles of his arms. It felt like there was a machine under his skin, working like powerful cogwheels. Wasn't it like that in his mind as well? He always seemed so calculative, so analytical, so logical.
She gave a smirk at that. What a contradiction it was, for him to be an artist...
Her smirk didn't last long. Her mouth fell open, her teeth trembling along with her wet lips.
A pair of fingers had moved her panties to the side, tracing her entrance.
She was already drenched and it made him smile against her neck. Sasori was only a little bit surprised at how wanton she was.
Only a little. Because he could read her so well already.
Honestly, he was more surprised with himself. And alarmed, maybe even somewhat concerned.
His finger slipped inside and her walls clenched up, a gasp leaving her lips.
What if he hurt her like the last time? Hm. It was tempting, to an immeasurable degree. He needed to avoid it for his own sanity's sake. He glanced up at her pretty, pale face. Did she even have a clue of what it had cost him to hold back? To restrain himself, because obviously, if he could have his way, Hinata would be singing a different tune altogether.
One of pain instead of pleasure, because she would not be able to handle what he truly wanted to do with her.
A sweet moan left her and she squirmed like a lamb, nearly sounding like one as well. A lamb for the slaughter? He slipped another finger in, going deep. A lamb for the wolf?
Hinata's eyelashes fluttered like that of butterfly's wings, sweat on her brow. Maybe she wanted to be destroyed… His pants became even tighter at that thought, as if that was even possible. Sure, he wanted to destroy her, pain mixed with pleasure was the ultimate art, the highest of ecstasies.
And she did look good in red, almost as good as she looked in white. Red like blood and white like a lamb, like purity, like snow. Innocence, unstained. Even her eyes were white, as much ivory as her skin.
This dilemma only made him angry, partially at her and partially at himself.
His fingers increased their speed on their own and her moans became louder, her hips moving, her legs twitching. Her eyes refused to open though. It was more than a dilemma at this point.
Because he wanted to ravage her do bad and leave her bruised and bloated and bleeding and screaming but- He didn't want her to end. And even if she survived, the loyalty she once felt for him, would be in tattered remains, blown away by his own lust.
It actually disgusted him. He was not usually this impulsive, so- so undisciplined. His lips drew back, a furious snarl marring his face. This would have been much easier, much more controllable, if he just hadn't let her get near his crotch.
Albeit, it had been pretty funny and very pleasing to prove her wrong. But maybe unwise in the long run… Because there was no way in hell he could fuck her and be nice about it, be gentle about it. Hinata wasn't even…
What was he even thinking with? His dick?
Rage ate at his insides and swallowed him whole in a split second. In a flurry of movements, his hand was at her jaw, holding the bone, holding the chin, hiding her enticing lips. Her eyes flew open in shock, her gasp and yell, muffled by the iron grip he had on her.
She stared up at him, her eyelashes fluttering wildly, once again reminding him of a butterfly. Hinata looked like she dearly wanted to say something, but as his fingers curled like hooks inside of her, she whimpered and wheezed, her head falling back unto the floor.
Her nostrils flaring, she blinked up at him, her hand patting his own, gripping her chin. It would seem she needed some air. Oh yeah, sure he could give her that… she was just going to suffer a little bit more.
"Learn to breathe through your nose, doll," he said, gripping her chin harder, feeling her lips move against his palm.
Her bare chest, rising and falling with uneven breaths, lungs straining for much needed oxygen, she looked positively helpless. And embarrassed. She tensed up, her muffled whimpers and yelps increasing. He knew she had to be pretty close now.
And in the next second, her inner walls clamped down on his moving fingers, her back arching off the ground. Hinata's eyes rolled back as she reached the peak of her pleasure, shivering all over. After a while, his fingers slipped out of her, his hand leaving her chin.
Subsequently, her mouth fell open in a gasp, taking in deep breaths and turning on her side. Her legs closed themselves as she drew them up to her chest, rocking back and forth in a fetal position.
He wasted no time, because the more he looked at her, the more he wanted to touch her. Sasori promptly stood up and averted his eyes. He was painfully hard now.
"Get dressed and wait for me in the training hall," he called over his shoulder, walking down the hall to the exit.
"W-Where are you going?" he could hear a confused Hinata call after him but at that time he was already flying up the stairs.
As soon as he entered the apothecary, he quickly strode over to the potions, his eyes keenly searching for his prize. He found it within seconds, to his bottom left. It was a small vial with a light green substance in it, titled "Muscle Relaxer". Snatching up the vial, he unscrewed the cork and emptied it into his mouth, grimacing at the bitter taste.
Then he promptly fell to his knees, although he knew that would happen. It was a muscle relaxer after all. The effect only lasted for a precise 5 seconds, enough for him to come to a decision. The puppet master gritted his teeth, letting the jarring noise fill up his eardrums to the point where it almost sounded like nails on a chalkboard.
What he did today, couldn't happen again. Hinata was his student and his task. She's going to be as good a tool for the Akatsuki as she was for him. Sure, he will do whatever it takes to have more influence over her and doing so sexually is obviously very beneficial.
Though not without risk.
He had to do this with caution. If she realized somewhere along the way, that she had even the slightest ounce of influence over him, even if it's only sexual, she would no doubt utilize that to the fullest extent.
It would get to her head, foolishly so, and he couldn't have that.