Bombay, India - 1943
She tightened her grip on his neck, digging her fingers into the skin to hold herself closer to him. His hands moved over her torso, trading between her breasts and her thighs, and his lips rained kisses over her neck and shoulders. With another maneuver she pulled their lips together while he shunted into her.
They clawed at one another, burying their tears and moans as they tried to sink into a shared skin. He hitched her leg higher, driving harder, and she dug her nails into his neck to bring him closer. Fingers played over her clit and she could not tell if they were hers or his. And when she fell over the edge, she realized it did not matter.
Final stutters harmonized with her abating tremors as they joined in the mutual quiver of their bodies in the aftermath. His fingers drifted over her body, avoiding places when she flinched or cried out, and her nails grazed lightly over his skin as her arm slipped from its hold. Their bodies synchronized and they tried to breathe past their tears.
She turned, facing him, and traced his face with her hand. He kissed her palm as it ran past his mouth and all either of them could really make out in the darkness was the shine of the tears running over their cheeks. When he went to speak she shook her head and placed her finger over his lips. After a moment he kissed her finger and then leaned forward to place his lips gently on hers.
Time ticked away to the beat of the rain lashing the roof above them. Flickering flames from the dying candles in the corners cast their shadows. Shadows that forced harsh lines onto their faces when they finally parted.
"It won't be forever, Anna."
"No matter how long you're gone it'll be forever to me." Anna rested her head on his shoulder, slotting herself in at his side. "Can't we just run away from all of this instead? Find somewhere we could go where no one knows us, or what we do, or what we're supposed to be doing. Somewhere we could sink into obscurity and vanish. Can't we find that place and go there?"
"You know I couldn't do that, even if everything fell into place for it to happen." He traced the line of her face with a careful hand. "You do understand why, yes?"
"Because you can't leave them or go back on your word, I know." She tilted her head up, stroking over the lines of his face with her fingers to mimic his motions, sticking where the tracks of his tears almost dried. "And it's selfish but-"
"It's not selfish." He grabbed her hand, kissing over her knuckles with all the force he could muster as if to prove his devotion in one motion. "It's what I want too but I can't abandon them. Not after all Colonel Crawley's done for me."
"I know." Anna's cheek laid over his heart, the steady thump there almost calming if not for the way it reminded her of a tolling bell. "You'll come back to me. You promise, right now, to come back to me or I can't let you go."
"I promise," He raised her head so he could look in her eyes. "That I'll fight Heaven and Earth to come back to you. I'll do everything possible, to the limit of my abilities, to come back to you. But if not-"
"John don't-"
"But if not-"
"John I can't-"
"But if not," John repeated for the second time, holding her gaze until she silenced. "Then I want you to go to England."
"I can't go to-"
"I want you to go to London. I want you to find my mother." John took a breath, "And then, I want you to try and move on."
"I couldn't, not ever."
"You can and you should." He brushed through her hair with delicate fingers. "I couldn't move on to whatever Great Beyond awaits if Iknew you wouldn't find happiness. So, if the worst should happen, I want you to find yourself another man. A better one."
"I couldn't, because there aren't any."
"You're just saying that because-"
"No, John Bates," Anna rose above him, straddling his waist as she took his face in both of her hands. "I'm not just saying anything. I know that I could never find another man as noble and wonderful and beautiful as you. They don't exist. Not for me. Not ever."
"If you insist then-"
"I do."
John smiled, "If you insist, then I want you to know something too."
"What?"
"You're the only woman I've ever loved Anna. And no matter what happens, that will always be true."
"And I don't regret any of it. Not one moment." She blinked at her tears but all it did was spread them over her lashes and make his half-shadowed face sparkle in the low light. "I should but I can't."
"I can't either." His hand smoothed over the skin of her thigh, moving up toward her arm to interlace their fingers so the ring on her left hand glinted in the light. "No man could regret loving the way I've loved you."
"No woman either." She ran her thumb over the ring on his left hand. "Because I do love you, John Bates, and I will until the day I die."
"Then," He put his hand to her face, pulling her down as he raised himself up a bit. "Could I have a kiss to take with me?"
Anna did not respond. Instead she tugged his lips to hers and they crashed together. She pulled at his shoulders, her fingers digging into his skin, and brought him to sit up so they melded into one. Her legs wrapped around his waist to hold fast to him as his hands spread over her back and ass to keep her in place.
They ground together, as if they could hold one another in place long enough for time to pass them by and for all their problems to vanish. But, as they broke their kiss for air and their embrace to adjust, they both knew that to be impossible. Instead they moved together and Anna sheathed herself on John.
He groaned, his head going back so she could attack his neck with kisses and nips that brought his hands to massage and knead into her ass while his hips rutted into her. With her hands on his shoulders she pushed him back to the bed and rocked into him to exacerbate his moans. Kisses traced his jaw and nails scraped over his skin to send the hairs all over both of their bodies rising.
But he did not remain passive. His hands clutched at her ass and hips, holding desperately to her as he thrust into her with all the force his position could manage. And his fingers worked her already swollen and aching clit with a learned expertise that had Anna finishing right there.
There was nothing she could do but roll with him as he changed their positions. Her legs locked around his back and spread wider to take him deeper. So deep that each thrust had her head sinking back into the pillows and left her neck exposed for John to take his turn laying kisses and nips there to match those now dotting red on his own neck.
Each piston hit the very end of her and she clung to his skin with her hands while her vaginal walls tightened like a fist to try and trap him. But he shifted her hips slightly and changed the angle of his stroke to break her hold and she climbed toward the precipice with him again. There, at the height of their pleasure, they stared at one another. Time slowed, threatening to stop altogether, and John moved one final time.
It broke Anna. Sending her into paroxysms of pleasure that had her writhing and quivering under him as the final throes of his own passion took over, John continued thrusting at a frenetic pace until he managed a groan of his own finish. They shuddered and stuttered as one until all they could manage was to shuffle together on the bed. Their bodies still connected, sweat from their exertions and the heat of the climate sticking them together, they held to one another as they fell into a fitful sleep.