Chapter Forty-Three - Jitters
Nines opened his eyes with a blink. He'd reached the end of his cycle as planned, and Gavin was still asleep in his arms. He'd moved, or been moved, during his cycle. He was lying on his back with Gavin pressed against his chest, one leg hooked up almost over his waist. In response to the movement Nines had wrapped his arms around Gavin's smaller body, one around his back while the other rested on his upper arm.
Moments like this were precious. The times when Gavin was completely unaware and at peace. Nines allowed his fingers to trace patterns on Gavin's soft smooth skin, tracing across the small pores and bumps. He found a circular dip and teased it gently, recognising it as a bullet hole. It was an entry wound. Someone had once shot his human in the back. It was hard to believe with the way that Gavin seemed to tackle life head on. How had anyone ever managed to get behind him unawares?
"…time is it?" Gavin murmured tiredly as he slowly roused, his breath warm against Nines' pecs. He moaned softly as Nines' hand reached up and stroked his thick locks. He was too tired for anything more. Despite his words he wasn't ready to move yet, for which Nines was grateful. He was content also, lying peacefully with Gavin's weight pressing down on him, measuring the heat of his body. He was hotter than he had been the night before. There was a clamminess between their bodies, making Gavin's skin stick to him slightly.
"Five thirty seven…Go back to sleep Gavin." Nines soothed softly, pleased that Gavin didn't feel inclined to argue. He sighed lightly in response as he nuzzled the warm synthetic skin of Nines' chest, short brunette locks tickling the surface lightly. Luckily androids didn't experience tickling the way humans did. Nines could recognise the brush of the hair, but it didn't produce a physical reaction, it didn't irritate him. Nines stilled his hands, thinking perhaps the movement would bother Gavin and keep him awake. Instead he closed his own eyes, running through their schedule for the day.
They would meet Elijah downstairs in the morning at an unspecified time. Depending on when that was they would likely have breakfast before the scientist started on his work. He was intending a simple procedure that day. One to remove his tracker in order to assess its condition and get it in working order. Installation, or reinstallation, wouldn't happen until tomorrow or the day after. While Elijah was working they would return to the station to update Lieutenant Anderson and Connor, and pin down the details. They needed to choose one of the three sites, perhaps the one with the most foot traffic. They needed to ensure that Nines had a reason to linger in the area alone in the hopes of being noticed. If he didn't get noticed then the operation was pointless. After that they had a few other cases to work on. Just minor offences.
It was a further one hundred and twelve minutes before Gavin roused himself again, having experienced another full sleep cycle. They didn't have a set time to get up, since they were technically going to be working that morning, but Gavin was never one for sleeping in. He was barely one for sleeping at all. At least he hadn't been before Nines' appearance. It had been a long time since he'd had anyone to wake up with, and he was slowly realising that he'd missed it. There was something comforting about waking up in a tangle of limbs and sheets, safely tucked into someone's embrace.
"Shower…downstairs…" Gavin murmured, groaning in objection as he pushed himself up and away from Nines, noticing the way the android's arms momentarily tightened before they released. He tried not to notice the way Nines' blue eyes followed him as he crossed to the ensuite. While he showered Nines set about dressing and making up the bed. When he returned it was like they'd never slept in it, each pillow perfectly placed. Nines occupied himself with looking through the huge glass wall while Gavin tugged his clothes on, examining the rear gardens slowly. There were many different flowers in the beds, offering an array of colours. The Chloes clearly took good care of it.
They headed down once Gavin was ready, stopping briefly in the living area before continuing to the kitchen. There was a Chloe there, dressed in a cute pale blue flannel nightdress. It was interesting that the RT600s dressed for bed. By the odd strands of hair Nines concluded that they also slept in beds, or rather they went through their stasis cycles in beds. She noticed them instantly and directed them to the dining room next door. Elijah was sat at the table with a news tablet, getting the latest updates in technology and world news.
"Good morning, did you sleep well?" He asked almost meaningfully as he looked between the pair. Nines tilted his head at that. His tone suggested that he meant more than sleeping, and for another thing Nines didn't require sleep. Gavin's head darted up at the comment, a small frown setting across his brow. "Not well enough it seems." Elijah observed in quiet amusement as his brother took a seat at the table quietly. Nines dutifully took the place at his side and idled quietly as he waited for the day to begin.
Chloe brought platters of food through shortly. There were fried foods, yoghurt, fresh fruit and granola in serving bowls and on plates. There was enough food to feed six people, but this didn't seem to surprise Elijah. Nines reflected that it was a waste of food to cook so much for only two humans, and Gavin voiced the same concern. Elijah wasn't bothered by the waste. Usually Chloe wouldn't cook so much, but she had been unsure what Gavin would like to eat, so she'd made everything. Since the blonde had gone to so much effort Gavin did his best to get through it all.
After breakfast Elijah led the way down to the basement, where he had a secure laboratory set up. Nines froze as they entered and he came face to face with a familiar looking machine. All androids had a certain level of apprehension when faced with them. The spider restraints were used for various procedures, including decommission. He didn't need a mirror to know his LED was spinning red. He jerked as Gavin's hand gently touched his shoulder.
"If you don't want to do this we can try something else." Gavin assured, something hopeful in his tone. Nines shook his head. This was their best plan. The perfect way to catch the gang red handed. He wouldn't be scared off by simple machinery. "I'll be here the whole time, alright?" His human assured gently, the android nodding his silent understanding. Elijah was typing away on a large computer station, either unaware of Nines unease or ignoring it. Nines flinched as the large arms came to life, whirring, bending and stretching.
"We're ready…I don't need to dock you fully, so just strip your top half." Elijah instructed without looking up. Nines felt suddenly stiff as he shrugged out of his jacket, handing it off to Gavin. He did the same with his soft turtleneck. His skin felt somehow prickly as he approached the towering white arms and turned his back. "This might pinch a bit." Kamski warned, a small sound of distress leaving Nines' lips as he was grasped. His wrists were restrained and stretched out as two other arms gripped his shoulders like a vice.
"Nines! Are you alright?" Gavin asked in concern as a fifth arm whipped out and stabbed the port at the back of his neck. Nines' blue eyes widened as the machine integrated with him, his upper body going limp. "Nines?" Gavin repeated worriedly, but Nines was unable to respond. He could still see, but his motor functions had been shut down by the intrusion. Gavin span on his heel to face Kamski, who was typing away unconcerned.
"It's normal, don't worry…I'm just running a systems check." He added distractedly, which was true. Nines could feel the machinery rummaging around in his head. His body was obediently running all of the checks the computer asked it to. As a regular android this hadn't bothered him, but as a deviant it was somewhat violating. He had no control over anything that was happening to him. He didn't like it. He was afraid. He was afraid and he couldn't communicate it.
"Hey-hey! I'm right here." Gavin cooed as he placed Nines' clothing on a bench and approached the machine. Somehow that made it better. Gavin was right. Nothing would happen while Gavin was there. The human reached out and stroked his bare side, fingers just brushing his hipbone. It was comforting. He continued to murmur assuring words and praise, telling Nines what a good job he was doing and how brave he was. It would have been patronising at any other time, but in his helpless state it was exactly what Nines needed. He didn't know how Gavin knew he was in distress. His LED was blinking yellow since he was interfacing with the computers, and his expression was frozen without muscle movement.
"Everything looks good…better than good…You're an amazing model." Elijah complimented as he typed on the computer. Nines would have shuddered if he could. The skin on his face peeled back without his bidding, revealing the white plastic of his casing. He felt exposed as Gavin saw him in his natural form for the first time. He would have turned his face away, but he had no control. Gavin stepped aside to let Elijah work. He brought over some tools and Nines desperately wanted to close his eyes. He didn't want to look, he didn't want to feel it.
Elijah opened the casing around his audio processor and searched around inside. He was locating the tracker. Nines couldn't feel exactly what he was doing, but he could feel the odd sensation of pieces being touched and moved. Finally Elijah drew back with a strange looking circuit in his hand. That was it. The tracker. Mercifully that meant that he was finished for now. Nines' casing was returned with an almost unsettling click and he was released. His skin reactivated, trickling across his casing like water. It was like there was an error with his thirium pump. It was giving large thumps, and an odd sensation filtered down his legs, making him stumble as the restraints opened.
"Whoa! You good?" Gavin asked, his hands gripping the androids shoulders to steady him. He didn't mention the yellow spin of Nines' LED, but his gaze was searching and concerned. Nines blinked as he straightened up, though his legs still felt strange. They trembled slightly, but the sensation didn't throw off his balance again. The feeling passed, leaving an almost numb feeling in its wake.
"I am well." Nines replied unsteadily after a few moments, the squeeze on his shoulders telling him that Gavin hadn't bought it for a second. It also told him the human wouldn't mention it, at least not in front of Kamski. Elijah had given him a look of scrutiny, but clearly derived that the issue wasn't linked to a malfunction, merely to his deviancy. He could see something in Nines eyes, something that made the android feel exposed. He dropped his blue eyes evasively.
"Don't forget to seal your neck port." Elijah said softly as he crossed to a bench and turned on an overhead light. Nines' head snapped up as he reached over his shoulder and touched the area. His synthetic skin had been punctured, forced aside by the intrusive connection. Beneath the puncture he could feel a hard plastic rimmed port, rough against his fingertips. His fingers were blue with thirium when he pulled away. The intrusion had not been a gentle one.
"You're bleeding?" Gavin asked in concern as he noticed the blue. Nines subconsciously activated various protocols, ones that should have been automatic. The skin sealed off the wound, concealing the port once more. He wasn't sure where it came from, but Gavin handed him a rough towelling cloth to wipe his hands on.
"Not in the sense that you mean. The connection breached my synthetic skin layer, which produces the simulation of bleeding. However it did not pierce any core veins, so the flow is not continuous." Nines replied, finding some comfort in talking through his internal systems. He also felt comfort in the realisation that Gavin hadn't stopped touching him, and he hadn't moved away. He had released one shoulder to allow Nines some level of movement, but his other hand remained resting gently on his arm. His fingers softly soothed the skin, almost the way Nines had done to him earlier that morning.
"Do you want to get dressed?" Gavin asked as he took the cloth and reached over Nines' shoulder, wiping the skin there to clear any excess thirium. Nines nodded and accepted his clothing, slowly feeling better. It had been unsettling, and a little frightening, but not so bad as it could have been. Gavin had been present, and Elijah had been clinically professional. He had not been violated against his wishes or altered in any way he had not previously consented to, and he had not been harmed.
He felt the loss as Gavin finally stepped away to allow him to dress. His shoulder felt slightly odd without his human's hand on it. He felt a little more exposed now that he was by himself, though Gavin hadn't gone too far. He'd crossed over to Elijah, looking over his shoulder to take a look at this small piece of Nines. It was strange. Nines felt something curious as Gavin looked at it. It was almost uncomfortable. It was illogical. Gavin knew what he was, had seen him being shot, had seen him bleeding blue, but there was something more intimate about him seeing something that had been so deeply embedded within his system.
"What do you think?" Gavin asked curiously, noting the way Elijah had bent low over the small piece. He was wearing glasses, large plastic framed ones. The same ones he'd worn since the beginning of his career. He rarely wore them in public anymore, but they were essential while working, particularly with delicate components like this one.
"I think your partner is a marvel of modern technology…This is a beautiful piece." The older human praised, making something flood Nines' stomach. He felt flattered, but also conflicted. The praise couldn't really be levelled at Nines, since he had paid no part in his own construction, but it did make him feel somewhat special and appreciated. "It appears to be in working order, but leave it with me…I want to run a few tests, see if I can boost the signal." Elijah added as he pulled his glasses off and stepped back.
The entire process had taken around an hour, which meant it would be around lunch time by the time they reached the precinct. Elijah saw them to the door himself since Chloe was currently elsewhere. He said he'd call Gavin later to let him know his progress, and that he'd be available for anything else they may need. Gavin led the way to the car, deciding to drive himself. He regarded Nines carefully as he pulled on his seatbelt. He seemed almost hesitant.
"How do you feel? Do you need anything? Is anything different?" He asked almost worriedly as he looked over Nines' regular pale complexion. It was impossible to tell if anything was wrong, especially if Nines opted not to share it. He knew the android was capable of concealing his emotions when he had the opportunity. The android tilted his head curiously as he looked at Gavin, recognising his concern in seconds.
"I'm operating within expected parameters, and if you're referring to the missing component then although I'm aware of its removal it has had no impact on my operational capacity. My tracker was, after all, inactive." The android replied, glossing over the second question. It was quite irrelevant where an android was concerned. What could he possibly require? His thirium levels were replenished and it had already been established that his systems were fully operational. Gavin seemed unsatisfied by his response, turning slightly in his seat.
"Look, you've just had what a human would call major surgery. He opened your head for Christ's sake! It's okay if you have feelings about it." He insisted, looking a little embarrassed as Nines' mouth thinned out into a warm smile. Gavin was worried about him. It was entirely unnecessary where this form of work was concerned, but it was touching nonetheless.
"It is very different for androids. There is no recovery process after such procedures. We are designed for this form of easy maintenance, and do not suffer any negative effects from the removal or changing of internal components. Though I do admit experiencing a sense of…apprehension during the process. I'm glad you were with me." Nines replied in explanation, which seemed to appease Gavin. He seemed strangely reassured by Nines' admission of weakness. The vulnerability made him more alive, and relatable. It also suggested honesty about his current feelings. "I feel fine." The android added softly.
With that assurance Gavin started the long drive back into the city, and got them to the station just before lunch time. Reed stopped by Hank's desk to update him and Connor on their progress. Both seemed pleased with Kamski's involvement, though Hank was reluctant to trust him completely. Reed didn't understand why, but Connor clearly understood his reasons. Neither enlightened him to what they were. Reed joined Nines at their desks and took his seat, automatically reaching for the coffee he knew would be there.
"I've corrected your reports." Nines stated as Reed sipped his coffee, leaning back in his chair but not raising his feet to the desk. He'd forgotten about those reports. He took a few moments to forward them to Fowler, knowing they were likely a little later than he'd like. But considering the week I've had…I'm sure he gets it. "It is almost lunch time." His partner piped up. Like the mother hen he is.
"We just got here!" Reed objected as he crossed his legs and flicked through his emails. As he looked up Nines was giving him a disapproving look. "I ate a few hours ago!" The detective continued almost defensively. The look didn't go away. It even seemed to intensify. The human ignored it, checking through his emails as if that were the end of it. It would have been the end of it too, if not for the cool touch that appeared on the back of his neck. The lightness at first made the human's eyes flutter, a hum catching in his throat.
"It is lunch time." Nines stated in an almost seductive murmur as his fingers squeezed the back of his human's neck in a soothing manner. Reed tilted his head back, almost looking offended by the blatant manipulation. Nines gave him his best puppy dog look, the one that didn't quite match Connor's. It was more uncertain, more in need of assurance. It also worked on Gavin.
"Alright! I guess I could use a walk…" Reed grumbled as he got to his feet and checked his pockets. He had his wallet and phone, and his cigarettes were there too. He tugged out the packet as they headed to the door, rolling his eyes as he noticed Nines' blue orbs watching his movements like a tiger. "It's my first one of the day!" Reed said defensively as he popped one of the sticks in his mouth. Nines said nothing in reproach, but Gavin could feel himself being assessed.
"Have you tried here?" Nines asked curiously, the pair pausing in front of some healthy eating place. It wasn't the type of place Reed would usually choose. He paused and looked at the menu in the window. Pretty standard stuff. Salads, pasta boxes, lean meats and health shakes. He noticed a few thirium based options, blue pasta bowls and thirium shakes. Maybe Nines wants to eat too…
"No, you hungry?" Reed asked in return as he pointed out the thirium options.
"I don't require sustenance, but I would like to eat with you." Nines replied gently. Gavin headed in with a shrug and took a table in a small intimate booth by the window. They looked over the menu and gave their orders. Gavin got a chicken pasta salad and fresh orange juice while Nines chose a thirium based pasta salad and shake. It was a nice place. There was a mixture of humans and androids, mostly dressed in suits. There were a lot of offices in the area. Luckily the customer base meant that service was quick. Gavin was itching to get back to work and look into a few other small cases. He sort of felt he owed it to Fowler since they'd spent the morning with Elijah. Even though it was work related he still felt that he hadn't really been working. He didn't expect Fowler to have to pay for him to sort out his family issues.
When the food arrived Gavin started right away, figuring it best to eat up and get back to work. Nines seemed to have different ideas, at least he didn't seem to be eating much. Gavin slowed almost to a halt as he noticed. His partner was prodding the blue pasta shells with his fork, blue eyes staring at a spot on the table. He was unaware of Gavin watching. The human stopped eating completely. This wasn't like Nines. Nines didn't just sit and idle. He was always working, always thinking. Gavin raised his fork and darted it into Nines' bowl, blue eyes snapped up just in time to see one of the small shells disappear into Gavin's mouth.
"You snooze you lose…What's up with you?" Gavin asked as he chewed the shell, trying to ignore the almost offensive taste of synthetic grease and oil. Nines blinked as he watched Gavin chew, considering his response.
"You shouldn't eat thirium based products in large amounts." Nines chided lightly, watching Gavin's green eyes narrow as he drank some of his juice to get rid of the taste.
"Believe me, I won't make a habit of it…but seriously, what's up?" The human repeated, clearly not about to let the matter drop. Was he this distracted earlier? Gavin wondered, feeling bad that he hadn't been paying attention. He'd just assumed that Nines was alright. Maybe he can feel the missing part more than he said…
"I am experiencing…something." Nines admitted, but he found he couldn't put a name to it. It wasn't exactly fear, but it was close to it. Gavin sat forward, ignoring his food for the moment as he trained his attention on Nines. "I find myself considering what could happen during the operation. Specifically what could happen if things go wrong." The android explained hesitantly, watching Reed's jaw tightened at the thought. He was stopping himself from speaking. Part of him, a fucking big part, wanted to press Nines further and push him to call off the mission. The other part knew that wasn't fair. He'd promised to be there and watch over his partner, and part of that was working through pre-mission jitters.
"That happens to all of us. It's normal to be nervous…Why don't you tell me more? Maybe I can give you some solutions." Gavin suggested in his best reassuring tone. It was the one he used with new recruits or scared witnesses. It was a voice that lured you in and gained your trust, grounded you. It certainly worked on Nines. He recognised it. It was the soft voice he'd used when they first met. It was the voice that had coaxed him from beneath the table. It made him feel safe.
"Earlier, when Elijah connected me to his machinery, I lost all mobility and the ability to communicate. I could see and feel everything, but all of my motor functions were suspended. I felt…helpless." Nines explained vulnerably, Gavin nodding his agreement. He'd known something was off. It's why he'd stayed so close during the procedure. "It has occurred to me that this is likely to be the case during the mission also, especially once the thirium draining process has begun." Nines continued, trying not to show his anxiety, which left his expression flat. Gavin's eyes pinched slightly. He knew what it meant when Nines' expression blanked. He could also imagine Nines' thought process, and the conclusion.
"And it scares you, the idea of being vulnerable with those people." Gavin concluded, unsure what he could do or say that would ease Nines' fears. It was a perfectly valid concern, and he should be scared. He also needed to control that fear in order to prepare himself and complete the mission. Fear increased the chances of something going wrong. Fear could get people killed. Nines wasn't the only one who would need to control himself. "What makes you feel brave?" He asked curiously. Nines was hesitant, blue eyes darting to his human.
"I am rarely afraid, but when I do experience fear then…you make me feel safe and secure. Is that bravery?" Nines asked, unsure on the exact definition of the feeling. There were many things he still hadn't experienced. He knew some of them. Fear, happiness, contentment, hurt, curiosity, apprehension, and a myriad of others. Many people would perhaps describe him as brave. He wouldn't think twice about confronting an armed suspect, or defending someone else, and he was a police detective. When it came down to it though, Nines himself had never experienced what being brave felt like.
"Well, feeling safe is a little more passive…Feeling brave is like…Rather than feeling relieved and the fear melting away you toss your fear aside. It's like you have a higher purpose and you won't let fear stop you or get in the way. You feel strong and powerful, and you won't let being scared stop you." Reed tried to explain, and Nines could picture it to a degree. It wasn't a feeling he'd felt before, but he could imagine it. For example, if Gavin were in danger then it wouldn't matter to Nines what stood in his way. He'd do anything to keep his human safe. He would also do such things to protect others such as Connor or Hank. He could put his own safety aside in those instances.
"I believe I understand…It is not a sensation I have experienced." Nines replied simply, though he was quite sure his answer would remain the same. Gavin would make him feel brave. Gavin made him feel most things.
"To do this mission you'll have to be brave. You'll need to focus on the end game. No matter what happens you have to trust in your team. You're going to feel helpless and alone, but you need to remember that no matter what there are people out there who've got your back." Gavin said firmly, his steady green eyes making a promise. There was no way in hell Reed was going to let Nines die. Not if I can help it. He added inwardly, knowing that some things would be out of his control. That wasn't what Nines needed though.
"It brings me comfort to know you will be close by." The android confirmed warmly, giving Gavin a sense of pride. He was proud to be dependable. He was a good detective, a good partner and a reliable superior. He also felt somewhat special, being one of the only humans Nines would trust in this way. As long as Eli comes through for us we'll be fine.