Chapter One: Guilty Pleasures

In my darkest dreams I do not dare

To fancy upon the deviant cares

For all I am is broken pieces

Of churning lust that never ceases….

I awoke that morning hating everything. Hating Thedas and the Inquisition. Hating Corypheus and the breech. Hating Skyhold and it's cracked walls and crumbling roof. The repugnant smell of dung that lingered through the open windows, or the sound of hacking lungs coughing from the people in the courtyard below. The repetitive strike of a smithy hammer against the anvil echoing through the keep, and the constant caw of the ravens sitting on the battlements. All of it was filling me with insurmountable levels of rage.

The people that I had murdered never left my mind, their blood seeping into my dreams until I woke up screaming in terror and my sheets were drenched soaking wet with a cold sweat. I couldn't shake the horror of surviving the blast at the Chantry Conclave, or the attack on Haven. Seeing the people fall as I defended that damn trebuchet. I couldn't erase the memories of the dead. I tried to, by the Maker I really did, and sometimes I convinced myself that I was okay. But then I would walk into the main hall of Skyhold and start shaking uncontrollably, even violently, my hands quivering as I tried to hold them still to no avail. The shock takes it's hold and I am lost to it, like a hungry wolf in a forest finally finding it's prey.

I used to glorify the brave warriors of Thedas, and when I rose to the occasion of becoming one myself I dreamt of days where I would be that heroic mage soldier. I would destroy evil and protect the good. There would be no grey, no shadows, no in between. What did I know? My childish notions of good and evil dissipated when I discovered that there was no such thing as evil and no such thing as good, only a blurry shade of something in between. By the time I made this revelation it was too late. The faces of those I had killed never left my eyes, their voices never left my ears. When the last breath left their lips, I breathed it in as if I breathed in the very essence of their soul, and before I knew it that essence had consumed me and I had become a monster. I was the evil that I was trying to fight, staring back at me until I transformed into it over and over again.

According to the council, the Inquisition serves a righteous purpose. So why do I find myself murdering so many innocents in the name of our cause? People who have been victimised and forced to fight on a side, just like I have? Only some people are on the wrong side in the eyes of the Inquisition. We shall dispose of them for the greater good. What is that? I know deep in my heart that this is not glory. It is anything but.

I spent the day trying to forget my woes, and by nightfall I was drenched in Golden Scythe 4:90 Black, wandering the battlements in hope of a friend. The evening was filled with drunken cheer, spilling out of The Herald's Rest and onto the stone courtyard of the keep, but it was nothing to the oblivion I had found myself in. No rowdy soldier or sloshed mage could appease me now in the utter lament that had befallen upon me.

Cullen.

I let out a heavy sigh as my thoughts lingered on the ex-templar. The Commander intrigued me. A man so serious that he hardly ever smiled, always keeping himself busy, and when you looked at him you could tell he was plagued by events in his past. Another tortured soul, perhaps we did have something in common? Not that we were friends. Cullen was a singular sort of man, keeping to himself for the most part. When I had crossed paths with him in the hope of exchanging a few words he would often sternly walk by. I understood the desire to be alone, I wasn't judging him for his behaviour. When Thedas has messed with you one too many times, all you desire is to be rid of the place and the people in it. A moment of silence, when there is just you and your darker thoughts to contend with. Nothing more, nothing less.

My eyes were blurry and I knew I should not dare venture near his study, not in this intrepid state, but the spirits had numbed my senses and I pushed forward. Stumbling over the cold stone steps, climbing the battlements with sheer determination, I approached Cullen's secluded part of Skyhold. Twisting the handle of the door, I was surprised that it was open, and even more so surprised that there was no one in his office. It was late and I should have known better. I knew I should have left, but I heard noises from his quarters in the loft above. Damn my curiosity, but it had gotten the better of me.

Fumbling for the rungs of the ladder, I pulled myself up quietly, peeking up into the loft above. And there he was. Cullen was stripped down to his bare flesh, his rigid cock full mast and hard. His hands were wrapped around his meaty member, and his eyes were closed, moaning so loudly I had no fear of being heard. None of that mattered however as my eyes widened in fear. Wrapped tight around his neck and connected to the poster of the bed was a red silk cloth, cutting off the oxygen as he continued to furiously stroke his cock, red faced and vicious. His eyes kept rolling back, the moans louder and louder, wild crashing waves that threatened to drown him, and possibly would, as the air evaded him. He was unleashed and I had never seen this side to anyone, let alone the Commander, as his chest rose up and down, deeper and faster. Crimsoned faced, he let out a final loud cry, high pitched and drawn out, almost as if he was in agonising pain and sheer ecstasy all at the same time.

Loosening the ligature from his neck, a heavily panting Cullen collapsed backwards onto the pillows behind, depleted and apparently overly satisfied. His forearm was resting across his eyes, his member somewhat deflated now although it still lay long and semi aroused, and his stomach and chest were utterly coated in his white stickiness.

Dead in my tracks I remained on the stairs, head poking up into the loft, wide eyed and speechless. I needed to descend for at any moment Cullen would see me. Slowly, I took the first step down the ladder.

Squeak.

Withdrawing his arm, Cullen's amber eyes fearfully drew to the loft entrance. Grabbing a blanket to cover himself, his gaze fell hard upon me.

'Inquisitor.' he remarked in shock. His eyes drew around the room nervously, knowing he had been caught out and there was no escape, before turning to me once more. 'Please, could you give me some privacy.' he barked, his embarrassment now transforming to anger.

I didn't need to reply, I didn't even need to hear another word from Cullen. All I needed to do was escape from that room. I never descended a ladder as fast as I did that night, scaling down it like a frightened rat into the night, bolting through his study and scurrying into the shadows of a deserted part of the keep far, far away.

Feeling well sober now, I couldn't shake the image of Cullen gratifying himself like that. I had never seen self-stimulation taken to such an aggressive, insatiable level. It was heated and furious, as he unleashed his wrath on his member mercilessly. I caught my breath as my mind wandered to other thoughts. Was he trying to pleasure himself, or was he trying to…end his life? Is that was I had stumbled upon? Cullen's last moments in this world, only to be foiled by my sudden appearance?

'No.' I muttered, reassuring myself 'He took the silk tie off his neck. It was his choice.'.

I ambled back to my quarters and fell asleep in an exhausted heap. All I needed was another experience to be haunted by, and thanks to my damn wandering eyes I had succeeded in that. Not that it disturbed me like the other memories that plagued my mind. In secret, I had been fascinated, dare I say titillated, watching Cullen manipulate himself the way that he did. His muscular arms and torso, and the look on his face as his eyes rolled back in his head in sheer ecstasy. Wearily my eyes fluttered shut, a soft smile on my lips, as the realm of dreams took over my mind.

Sitting at my desk in Skyhold the next day, I was drowning in a pile of correspondence that seemed to never end. Offers of support to the Inquisition for the right price, favours, deals, and even a few death threats. It seemed everyone was out to profit from or destroy the Inquisition, and I was cursed to read each drivelous, rambling letter.

My head throbbing from the previous night's indulgence, I lifted a shaky hand to tear off some bread on a plate close by, eager to ease the growing nausea.

Tap, tap, tap.

'Enter.' I called out wearily, expecting a messenger to present me with more letters, and to pile them unceremoniously on my table.

Ascending the stairs into my chambers however, the Commander walked in. He was dressed in his usual attire of metal cuirass, gauntlets and pauldrons, finished off with a red cloth and gorget of black raven feathers, his short mop of sandy blond waves neatly presented. Cullen looked at me almost arrogantly, a small curl on the right side of his lip where his white scar lay, throwing a smile my way.

'Inquisitor.' he remarked pleasantly.

'Cullen!' I replied hastily 'Uh..how can I help you?'

The atmosphere was awkward, and painfully drawn out as he stood firmly in front of me, a smirk ever present on his lips. Taking a few steps towards me, he stopped, rubbing his neck achingly as he looked my way.

'About the other night.' he remarked suddenly, his amber eyes piercing into mine 'Ah..don't get the wrong idea, I wasn't trying to kill myself. I wasn't trying to commit suicide. I was….masturbating.'.

He remained silent, eyes fixated on me as I stared back, stunned as I was in his chambers the previous night. Did I just hear what I thought he had said?

'I shouldn't have been there in the first place.' I replied with a frown 'You don't need to explain yourself.'. My cheeks were bright red, and I didn't need a looking glass to know that. They burned with intensity, like searing flames under my skin.

Cullen moved over to the seat by the bed and eased himself in it comfortably. 'I know,' he murmured 'I just wanted you to know, in case you thought it was...something untoward. I hope I did not frighten you.'. He ran his hand across the unshaven stubble of his jaw, as he continued to watch me.

I put down my quill and paper, and turned towards the Commander, giving him my full attention. He looked so calm and composed, considering the topic of discussion. The confidence was actually quite unnerving.

I shook my head in confusion. 'Forgive me but….what were you doing?' I asked.

'Autoerotic asphyxiation.' Cullen simply replied, adding mischievously. 'Got a ride. My bad.'

He drummed his fingers across the armrest of the chair, the smirk on his face not diminishing in his admission. If anything it grew larger, as if he was enjoying my unease at the brutal honesty of his confession.

'You choked yourself. For an orgasm.' I replied doubtfully, a confused albeit uncomfortable smile on my face.

Cullen sighed, lifting his eyes to meet mine. 'It wasn't just an orgasm, it was the orgasm. Of a lifetime, you have no idea.' he chuckled, before noticing I was not reciprocating in his amusement. 'I'm sorry,' he replied apologetically, waving his hand 'I have never spoken to you of what happened to me at the Kinloch Hold in Ferelden, and then in Kirkwall. Sufficed to say, life has been...hard. Unforgiving to be brutally honest. I try to forget a lot of what has happened and it never goes well. So I resort to...other vices, to sate my desire to be happy, for a little while at least.'

Some part of me knew what he meant. That desire to forget that which never went away.

'So it felt good then?' I inquired curiously, blushing slightly at the question although knowing I secretly was growing more aroused as the conversation progressed.

Cullen laughed. 'Better than any drug you've ever had, although I've ever had includes a quite extensive list I can tell you.' he muttered. He rubbed his neck achingly around the base of his neck, moving his shoulders side to side. His amber eyes smiled wickedly at mine and I caught myself feeling very turned on by the Commander. 'How long where you watching for?' he asked softly.

'Uhhh,' I replied shakily 'not that long. Just the end really.'. I was mumbling and shifting my eyes anywhere but to my companion. I knew he could sense my discomfort, but why did I get the feeling he was actually enjoying it?

'It is okay,' he whispered 'I am not angry that you saw me. In fact..'. He ran his thumb teasingly across his bottom lip '...the thought of it excites me more than a little.'

A short, sharp breath released from my lips as I grinned back slyly 'Perhaps I enjoyed watching more than I should admit.'

'Better and better.' Cullen chuckled in response.

'Isn't it a tad bit dangerous though?' I remarked suddenly 'I mean, strangling yourself is never safe now, is it?'

He shrugged 'Risky actions excite me I confess. Perhaps it was all the years of brutal willpower enforced upon us as templars, forgoing everything for one's duty. All those years of wanting to lose all sense of fucking control and never having that release.'. Cullen ran a hand loosely through his sandy blonde hair as he drew a deep breath 'The act itself creates this semi-hallucinogenic state, then you bring in the act of stimulating yourself.'. Noticing my perplexed expression, Cullen straightened in his chair 'Look, all I'm saying is you cut off the flow of blood and oxygen to the brain, your dick gets unbelievably hard. It's why these guys who are hung get these stonking boners and ejaculate when they die. You get this euphoria...'. Cullen's voice was smouldering as he described the act, like warm, oozing honey.

I caught myself holding my breath as he spoke so freely of his darkest fetish. We had never even spoken as friends, and now...this. I adjusted the position in my seat, feeling the ever slight sensation of warm arousal between my legs.

'It sounds pleasant enough.' I quipped back teasingly, trying to diffuse the intensity in the room that threatened to consume me.

Cullen laughed in response. 'Pleasant is nothing compared to it. It's like having one foot in heaven.' he replied softly 'Sex is a portal to the Maker. That feeling of every nerve and fibre of your being filled with complete pleasure, losing yourself in that moment and everything blurs into pure fucking elation.'. He shook his head, as if even the very thought was sending shivers all over his body 'The act itself is enough of a reward to make me cope with the rest of the shit I have to deal with in my head on a daily basis.'

'I know the feeling of wanting to escape.' I murmured 'You saw a quite sloshed version of me last night. Vices make life worth living sometimes, eh?'

Cullen raised an amused eyebrow 'If I may ask, what were you doing wandering about in my chambers at so late an hour?'

I bit my lip. 'I just wanted to say hello.' I lied. I knew what I wanted to happen. Every time I was near Cullen all I wanted was for him to put his hands all over me and push me hard up against a wall, kissing me until I was begging for mercy.

As if guessing what dark and dirty thoughts were filling my mind, Cullen slowly rose to his feet. With drawn out steps he approached me, never tearing his eyes from mine. My chest was rising heavily up and down as he towered in front of me, finally placing his hands gingerly on my waist so our hips were facing directly in front of each other.

'Hello.' he murmured devilishly, a wide grin growing on his lips.

Cullen's lips were pale pink, full and tender, and I saw that white scar begging for me to lap at it with my tongue. I wanted to suck it, to bite it and devour it.

I let out a chuckle at his reply, but only for a moment, before I was quietened once more as Cullen drew his hands, lingering along the curves of my figure, teasing me with his touch. Moving his hands to my breasts, he rubbed his thumbs across my mounds, over my nipples, fondling the fabric standing in the way, before placing his right thumb between his lips, licking his digit and coating it with his saliva.

Easing my top down with his other hand, my breasts were presented bare and shivering as he pinched his wet thumb and forefinger hard over my right nipple in an unforgiving manner. I yelped from the surprise of the sensation, but it felt good. Too good.

'Pain and pleasure.' Cullen murmured softly, as he pulled and pinched my nipple, refusing to let go. He leant his head towards mine, brushing his lips against mine but refusing to submit to what I expected. I tried to move closer, but he withdrew his face, his lips curled in a smirk. 'Does the Inquisitor want to play? Perhaps experience the drug I speak of?' he asked gently, lulling me to him as his hands ran across my bare arms.

'If you show me how,' I murmured breathlessly 'I want to.'

'I would like that also.' smouldered the Commander 'I can take you places you have only dared to entertain in your wildest fucking fantasies, but you need to trust me. And if you are willing, let me do what needs to be done.'

'Including the silk sash?' I asked precariously.

'I confess I did not think to bring it with me.' mused Cullen, his eyes lighting up suddenly as he moved his hand to his armour 'But I think we could improvise, just this once.'

Cullen moved his hands to the large belt around his waist securing the red material, and unbuckled it, placing it carefully on the desk. He then commenced removing the feather shoulder piece, before unwrapping the red material and dropping it to the ground. As he unbuckled and pulled off his armour, piece by piece, he held my gaze fiercely and I dared not turn from it. Pulling his metal gorget over his head, he dropped it with a loud bang against the cold stone floor of the chambers, followed by the cuirass, gauntlets, pauldrons, faulds, greaves, cuisses, tassets and poleyns. Finally all that remained was a loose white shirt and black cotton pants, his hair slightly dishevelled in brushed waves of sandy blonde.

Lifting the shirt over his head, Cullen revealed his torso, rippled with muscles across his abdomen. His smooth, pale white skin was sun kissed and revealed a few long, white scars from former days of battle. Cullen grinned widely as I blatantly stared at him, unwilling to look away from such a fine chiselled work of art.

'Would you like me to take off my pants?' he asked mischievously, a low growl in his voice.

I knew I couldn't wait that long and rushed over to him, wrapping my arms around his neck and bringing my mouth to his, but the Commander pulled away again.

'You will get your reward when I say so.' he replied sternly but still holding a soft smile 'Now, take off your clothes.'

I let out a gasp, followed by a laugh. Cullen's authoritative nature was even more arousing behind closed doors. I wanted to yield to his will, to let him take full control over me. Standing close to me, the Commander was easily one foot taller than me and much stronger as well. He could overpower me so easily and I wanted him to. Something in me wanted him to use that strength against me until I was begging for his mercy.

I pulled the black top I was wearing hastily over my head, exposing my pale breasts and torso, before unbuckling my belt and pulling off my pants, leaving me in my bloomers and nothing else.

'I said all of it.' Cullen ordered dangerously, using the stern voice he presented for the recruits in the training circle.

Cullen leant back against the desk to watch me step out of my under garments, and I presented myself naked in front of him, waiting with an intrigued grin.

A satisfied sigh left his wicked lips as he held his gaze fast on me. I could see he was aroused, his pikestaff was pushing unforgivingly hard and upwards from under his pants. Cullen caught my line of vision and chuckled.

'All in good time,' he remarked softly 'now come.'.

With one hand he pulled the belt off the desk, and with the other he took my hand, leading me to my bed. Cullen sat down on the edge of the bed, and pulled me to straddle his lap, his member prodding beneath me as I placed myself across his legs.

'Tonight you are my lady, and I am your Commander.' he informed with a grin as he gently brought his hands across my back, slowly bringing his belt to my neck.

Never leaving my eyes, he slowly wrapped the leather strap around my neck as I breathed heavily in my chest, trying to control the nervous tension I was feeling. Cullen tightened the belt so it sat firm around my jugular, but I could still breathe easily. Looking into my eyes he pulled it a little tighter.

'What do you say?' he growled.

My heart was beating fast as I caught my breath. Cullen played the authoritative role a little too well and it was driving me crazy.

'Yes Commander'. I smirked.

I couldn't believe I was entertaining such peverse delights in my chambers at Skyhold with Commander Cullen, of all people. It was dirty and utterly perfect.

With a smile that flashed his brilliant white teeth he loosened his grip, letting the belt rest around my neck as he cupped my face, bringing his lips close to mine, barely touching. 'When I fuck you tonight,' he whispered 'I am going to tighten your leash so you cannot breathe. You need to ride that wave of pleasure, let it fill you like an empty cup, and take you higher and higher than ever before. When you get scared, do not be afraid. Your brain will tell you to breathe but you need to trust me. Your body will thank you when you experience the greatest fucking high you have ever reached.'

'What about you?' I asked 'Do you want me to tie something...?'

Cullen smiled 'I shall take that in my own hands, don't worry. You have a lot to learn. Now, on your back.'

The Commander stood up and in one swift yank pulled off his black pants, revealing a hard full mast erection in front. It was long and quite thick, with a smooth bulbous shining head. I wanted to touch it ever so badly.

Cullen pushed me back on the bed as he spread my legs, bending them at the knees.

'You have been good, my lady, for listening to your Commander and letting him play with you thus far. You shall get a boon, I think.' murmured Cullen, as he brought his lips onto the soft skin of my inner thigh. My stomach fluttered as he began to place light, wet kisses starting from the inner side of my right knee, trailing upwards with soft and teasing puckers until he reached between my legs.

His warm breath tickled my lips and heated my exposed fleshy entrance as he looked up to me, lustfully. 'Our first kiss, my lady.' he whispered, as lowered his lips onto mine and bestowed upon them an open mouthed kiss. I gasped as Cullen's tongue ran along my labia, the point teasing the bud of my clitoris in cheeky swirls. He chuckled in amusement as he produced a delighted groan from my throat.

Two of Cullen's fingers dipped into my moist depths as he continued to assault my pink, fleshy entrance with his tongue. Sucking and licking and lapping, in swirls and flicks, over and over again. My breathing was ragged as my hips rose higher to greet him, and Cullen moaned as he lapped at my juices, sucking them enthusiastically before lifting his head with a wide grin.

'A perfect first kiss.' he remarked pleasantly, looking extremely mischievous.

The templar crawled over me as I remained laying down, his strong, muscular arms supporting his weight as he continued to prowl towards me. Except he did not stop when his eyes met mine, only to throw a wicked look before moving higher above me until I was looking up, face to face, with his hot and furious dick.

'Open wide, if you please, my lady.' Cullen smouldered, but I was already ahead of him, eagerly rounding my lips as he eased into my mouth. I could taste the salty pre cum on his head, tangy and moreish as the soft smooth skin of his hardened member filled me. Cullen was so warm, so exquisite, and I wanted to devour him whole. I could hear Cullen grunting softly above me as he began to move his hips slowly with small thrusts in my mouth, over and over again as I tried to take him in. Cullen was being purposely gentle, and I soon realised why, finding myself gagging on his rather large intruder. His skin was so smooth and his scent musky, and I felt that desire he spoke of filling me as he filled me.

'Try to relax, and hold your throat open as I go deeper.' murmured Cullen, pulling out for a moment to ready me before entering in again. With a deep breath I relaxed, trying to stop my gag reflex as I felt him slowly draw his entire length in, holding it in at the hilt for a few moments until I found myself gagging once more. He left me gasping as he withdrew, but I felt extremely titillated by the experience.

'Did you like my tasty morsel, my lady?' Cullen smouldered, looking down at me from further above, a few small waves of his hair brushing down on his forehead. I knew he was checking to see if I was alright, and I liked that even in his dirtiest moments he still held that concern.

'Yes Commander.' I hoarsely replied with a devious smile, before I was greeted by Cullen's member sliding into my mouth once more.

Cullen was straddling my chest now, and I could enjoy the view of his sturdy, muscular thighs as he pumped into my mouth. In one long thrust, he held his member deep in my throat, only this time he pinched my nose, holding me in place. Unable to breathe for a few moments, he released me again and withdrew, the pleasure creeping over me as I gasped under him.

''The lack of oxygen is exhilarating,' he remarked 'but it is only half the pleasure. You need to combine it with a body wracking, ground shaking orgasm to feel the full effects of what I speak.'. Dismounting me, Cullen pulled me up with a smirk, as he led me to the balcony. 'Rest your hands on the ledge and look out across the view.' ordered the Commander.

Naked and exposed, I could feel the cold air nip at my chest and pink exposed lips.

Thwack!

I cried out suddenly as Cullen landed a large, flat smack on my behind with his hand. He was a strong man and knew how to deal a blow. My ass stung as he rubbed it tenderly with his hand afterwards. Running his fingers up to the belt still hanging around my neck he pulled it towards him, whispering softly in my ear.

'Do you like your arse being spanked by Commander Cullen?' he murmured.

'By the Maker, yes.' I replied breathlessly, giddy with excitement.

Thwack.

I cried out in real pain this time.

Cullen pulled the belt sharper 'You didn't call me Commander.' he growled 'You need to be punished.'

Leaning over, he placed a few soft kisses on my cheek before laying a stinging slap on my other cheek. It felt sharp but pleasurable, the wetness growing within me, and I moaned louder and louder as he continued to slap my arse until it was bright red and warm to the touch.

Falling to his knees, Cullen placed kiss after kiss along my derriere until I was mewing like a kitten. My pink lips exposed, he offered a long lingering lick along my labia, pushing his tongue in between the folds. I gasped as Cullen began to assault my well wet depths again, moaning deeper as I was filled with his tongue. He held my hips sturdy as he open mouthed kissed my lips, over and over again. I squirmed in pleasure but he would not cease, driving his tongue more furiously against my clit until I started to moan louder and louder, a wild relentless pleasure building up.

I couldn't stop the waves coming over me, the intensity of his tongue was bringing me closer to release on every lick. Lifting my leg higher on the balcony, Cullen had full access as he assaulted my entrance, sucking and slurping until I felt my muscles tighten and I revealed a high pitched yell that echoed across the peaks. My body was wracked with an uncontrollable convulsion as I came hard onto his mouth, and Cullen remained eagerly in position as he sucked greedily at my nectar that was now flowing steadily.

I crumbled over the ledge of the balcony, but Cullen swept me up in his arms tenderly, holding me close. He looked down into my eyes gently, lowering his head as he brought his lips to mine and kissed me deeply. It was a soft and passionate kiss as he explored my mouth, moaning softly into mine before pulling away.

'By the Maker, you make me feel fucking alive.' he whispered breathlessly, as he carried me to the bed.

I was panting, still recovering from the pleasurable assault on the balcony, but I managed to cup my hands across his chiselled jaw and bring my mouth onto his once more, heatedly kissing his soft lips.

'I want you to take me, all of me.' I whispered 'I want to take one step closer to the Maker with you.'

Cullen released an aroused groan, smiling as he moved over to pick up the red cloth of his attire, lying on the ground. Standing before me, he wrapped the red cloth around his broad neck, wrapping it a few times round, presenting himself like a present.

'The first time is like nothing you have ever experienced.' he warned 'If you've never felt yourself losing your fucking mind, you are about to.'

Leaning over the corner bedpost at the headboard of the bed, he looped one end of the material around the pillar, lying down on the bed but not letting go of the cloth in his hand as it connected securely to his neck.

'One tug and I will be joining you soon enough.' he grinned, beckoning me to move towards him. His pikestaff was hard and furious, standing tall and ready. 'Climb on top of me.' he purred with a smile, eyes fixated on my body as I crawled over to him.

Positioning myself over his lap, Cullen torturously positioned his member to my entrance, covering his dick with my wetness before I lowered myself onto him. Cullen impaled me, thick inch by inch, moaning in release as he filled himself to the hilt.

'Maker's breath.' he murmured shakily as I started to move on top of him, sliding him in and out of my depths, my weight falling onto his shaft and transforming us both into quivering, breathless participants. The sensation had me rolling my eyes back in my head and finding words too difficult to ever murmur.

Cullen's eyes were also lulling shut, his head leaning back and exposing the red material tied firm around his muscular neck, his hand holding onto the other end firmly but not pulling on it...yet. I could feel the Commander getting more and more aroused on every thrust, moving his hips higher to greet me on every ride, and a soft moan escaped his lips, over and over again.

Opening his amber eyes once more, he ran his free hand across my breasts before cupping my cheek tenderly.

'Trust me.' he murmured as he brought his hand to the belt still wrapped around my neck.

The ex-templar pulled firmly and I felt the leather strap tightening all of a sudden, choking me, as Cullen began thrusting hard upwards into me. With his other hand he pulled his own red material tight, cutting off the flow of oxygen.

Blurring and hazy, I could feel myself losing sense of reality as Cullen continued to thrust up into me, harder and harder, unrelenting and forceful, his thick member spreading and penetrating me as deeply as he could drive, rock hard and furious. A buzzing sensation grew in me, a deep satisfying tingling warmth starting in my belly and spreading through into the rest of my body. I could feel this electric sensation of pleasure filling my every raw nerve and I wanted more and more.

The build-up was intense and the lack of air was making it unbearable to endure, such was the exhilaration of the moment. Cullen was crying out in moans of unrelenting pleasure as he continued to assault my depths, both of us bright red in the face and transcending into another state of blissful consciousness. His grip was tight on both ends he held, his left hand pulling the red cloth tight and his right pulling the belt on my neck, the ecstasy filling us until a final sharp thrust sent us both over the edge.

Cullen and I screamed out in release without any inhibition, echoing loud in my chambers. The Commander let out curdled sob as he released himself deep into my belly.

The Commander released his grip on us both immediately, and we gasped for air, our chests rising and falling rapidly as he still remained deep in me. His brow covered in sweat, he cupped my face in his broad hands, bringing his lips onto mine and kissing me over and over again.

'Thank you,' he murmured 'that was the furthest I have ever flown.'

His hands were trembling as I placed my hands on his cheeks, continuing to kiss him deeper and deeper.

'That was….'. I shivered, knowing no words would come close to giving it's due.

'….fucking euphoric.' replied Cullen, with a grin 'I know.'

Cullen eased me off him, and into a warm embrace as we came back down to reality. It was there that we lay together until day break, finally enduring a night away from our darkest thoughts and instead, entwined in each other's arms, finally at peace.