Chapter 4

Remus

The Gryffindor common room was unusually quiet. This was primarily due to the fact that the loudest of the Gryffindors were, for once, engaged in a little bit of study. Watching James reach up and pull at his hair, Remus realised that the peace would soon be disturbed. James had never been able to sit still for long, but then he never quite desired the study time that Remus craved. For Sirius and James, to know the spell and what it did was usually enough, whilst Remus was curious to know the whys, the wherefores, the evolution of the spell. He carefully gathered up his notes and books, envisioning a need to escape to one of the private study rooms in the immediate future.

But, of course, too late, Sirius had already wandered over to sit on his chair. He winked roguishly at Remus. "Watch Prongs now."

"Why?"

Sirius indicated the far corner of the room where Lily and her friend Emmeline were revising together. Then he pointed at James who was levitating a small piece of paper over to the two girls. Remus closed his eyes. Suddenly, there was a bang and the piece of paper had turned into a little bird that coo-ed and fluttered and nibbled at Lily's hair. Without so much as turning a hair, Lily reached out with her wand and fried the bird into a crisp.

"Not fair Evans! Would you kill an innocent creature?", laughed James.

"Don't be an idiot Potter, do leave us alone, SOME people take their lives seriously you know." Lily rolled her eyes and turned back to her work.

"Oh, but I am serious, serious about you." said James going over to her.

Emmeline raised her hand and moved him away. "Quit harassing her James. You're incorrigible."

Ruffling his hair , James laughed at her. "You didn't mind when Sirius did it."

"Every dog has its day. Now shove off."

James and Sirius went into hysterics over the dog comment , but they left the two ladies to their study and indicated to Remus and Peter that they were sneaking off to the kitchens for a snack. Peter rose to go with them, but Remus declined. He moved himself to the quiet study space just off the common room and had a rather enjoyable hour to himself colour coding his notes.

"Hello."

Remus looked up into the inquiring face of Lily Evans.

"Hello, I'm sorry about my friends."

"Ha. That's your permanent occupation isn't it?"

"I suppose. James really isn't so bad, you know. I wish you'd give him a chance."

"You keep saying that. I didn't come here to talk about James."

"I won't tell him that."

"I wanted to ask you a question. May i sit?"

Remus indicated the chair next to him.

Lily took it and then looked at him very seriously for a long time. "Remus , are you a werewolf?"

The question, asked so lightly, so easily, shocked him a little and he didn't know what to say.

Lily crinkled her eyes and smiled gently. "I'm not asking this so that I can go sharpen my knives and pitchforks. I was just studying a chapter on chronic illness with Emmie and I realised that none of your symptoms seem to match the list of ten we had. I had always assumed your monthly 'spells' had something to do with a chronic condition."

"I…no…my mother is ill. I go to see her."

"No, you're pale and wan every full moon, for several days. And sometimes you have cuts and abrasions on your hand. And last month I could have sworn I saw you in the hospital wing when I ran in early morning for some advice from Madam Pomfrey."

"Does that make me a werewolf?"

"I don't know, does it?"

Remus emitted a long, long sigh. He closed his eyes. "Yes."

A small hand enclosed his "Oh Remus, how awful."

"I don't appreciate pity Lily."

"Will you take my friendship?"

"Even after you know what I am?"

"Especially now."

Remus smiled. "Thank you, and I hope that i can trust to your silence?"

Lily leaned back and looked at him. "Of course, idiot. But let me say something to you. I think in the coming months and years we will need to be in what some Muggles call 'in solidarity' with each other. I expect that there are plenty of purebloods who find my Muggleborn status as repulsive and dangerous as they would find you."

"But other Muggleborns would find me as dangerous and repulsive as they do Dark Wizards."

"So you must convince them otherwise."

"There are many werewolves who are dangerous, who side with You Know Who."

"All I'm trying to say is that we have something in common."

"I'll try to understand that."

Lily smiled. "So Sirius, James, they know?"

"Hard to hide it when you share a dorm and your friends are exceptionally curious."

"And they, aren't repulsed?"

"No, it never bothered them. They have done the most amazing things to support me. Besides, there's probably a part of James that finds it altogether exciting."

"The last part notwithstanding, I'm inclined to hold James in higher regard now. You're right, he's not a complete barbarian."

"Will you give in to him now?"

"No, he's still horrid and bombastic to others. I know Sev might be tending to the dark side now but he has never deserved the ragging you lot give him. He is…was…my best friend. He guided his nervous Muggle Born friend into this new , strange world."

"I agree we've been beastly. And that perhaps Severus has hidden depths."

Lily smiled sadly. "And now he has gone to a space where I cannot follow."

"I'm so sorry, Lily."

"But, perhaps now, I have a new friend?"

Remus smiled shyly. "Yes."