One step forward, two back, that's the way most days felt to Casey where Kelly was concerned. Little by little, some things were improving, others were not. Kelly kept having nightmares, and continuously woke up screaming in the middle of the night, or by the time Casey got in there Kelly would be curled in a ball crying, but one small improvement was he wasn't cold all the time anymore and didn't have to be wrapped up in several blankets. All the extra bedding had been returned to the closet and now at least he was able to sleep, assuming he actually slept, covered only with a sheet and the bedspread.

Another step forward was Kelly had finally gotten tired of keeping himself cooped up in the apartment all day, every day. He still wasn't too hot on actually going out and seeing people, but early in the morning or after the sun went down, he started going out and jogging again. Casey went with him the first few times, partly to keep an eye on Kelly and make sure he was alright, partly to see how Kelly adjusted back to this routine, and once he was convinced that Kelly could handle himself, Matt stayed home when Kelly went out on a run. Of course he still worried the whole time Kelly was gone, like a mother waiting for their teenager to come home at night, and he didn't start to breathe easier until Kelly finally returned and Matt knew he was alright.

At this rate they were both going to need therapy, Casey was well aware of the fact neither of them, but he especially, could operate like this when they went back to 51.

One morning Casey realized he was the only one up and went to Kelly's room to see if he was okay. He found Kelly still in bed, slowly moving against the mattress.

"You okay, Kelly?"

Severide wouldn't open his eyes, just murmured something through closed lips and turned on his side.

"Rough night?"

Kelly grumbled something else. Casey hadn't heard anything, which he'd taken as a good sign, but just because he hadn't heard anything, didn't mean Kelly hadn't gone through another night of flashbacks and nightmares.

"You just want to sleep?"

Kelly kept his eyes closed and weakly nodded his head.

"Okay, I'll check in on you later," Casey adjusted the covers and leaned over and lightly kissed Kelly against his temple.

Something was odd. Something was off. Casey knew it, he could feel it, but he couldn't put his finger on it.

Then it hit him. How quiet the apartment was.

They didn't have a lot of days at home just doing nothing to compare it to, but it felt eerie how silent everything was. There was the quiet whir of the refrigerator's motor in the kitchen, and that was about it.

He'd checked on Kelly about an hour ago and the Squad lieutenant had been asleep, so Casey had just left him alone.

Now he started to wonder, was Kelly actually asleep?

A thought ran through his head, and he honestly didn't know where it had come from. He remembered that day in the bathroom, finding Kelly standing by the sink with a razor blade in his hand, staring at his wrist.

Casey dropped everything with a crashing clatter and ran to the bedroom, and skidded to a stop inside the doorway.

Kelly was laying on his stomach, hovered over the pillow on his bed, holding a small crossword puzzle book against it with his hand, a pen in the other. He turned and saw Casey standing in the doorway, and with no idea what it was about, explained, "I still don't feel up to dragging my ass out of bed yet...but I got bored."

Casey took a minute to figure out what he was seeing and what Kelly was saying, and when it all finally clicked, he laughed sardonically as he realized what the situation was.

The next night found the two lieutenants sleeping in the same bed, sleep being a term open to interpretation, both of them were awake, and it seemed obvious neither of them was going to sleep anytime soon.

Matt had just gone into Kelly's room to check on him before turning in himself, but Kelly was still awake and asked Casey to stay with him for the night. Matt was dumbfounded by this request and initially didn't know how to respond. Aside from the night they spent under the kitchen table, the two of them had never slept together, and Kelly sure as hell never asked before, not before his attack and especially not after. But, he'd agreed, hoping he came off as more reassuring than he actually felt. He climbed into the other side of the bed and lay a few inches away from Kelly, and both men just stared up at the ceiling in the dark and waited for something to happen. Nothing did.

Casey finally felt like he was falling asleep, when he had the air knocked out of him by Kelly rolling over on him. He sputtered awake and saw Kelly had finally fallen asleep himself and didn't look like anything would wake him up before the morning. Casey looked over at the digital clock on the nightstand, 2:53, it was a short night, and a long day would be starting, Kelly was finally going to make an appointment to see a therapist. Matt didn't have any idea how you could figure out who of all the people listed in the city would be the best one to see, and how did you even go about arranging that first meeting to talk about something like this? He didn't envy Kelly for what he had to do and in fact Casey wouldn't be surprised if he wound up having to schedule the whole thing himself.

For the night though...Casey tried to ignore the way Kelly's breathing tickled the hairs on the side of his neck, and resigned himself to stay right where he was lest anything wake Severide up.

All firefighters were superstitious to some degree, nobody dared say the word 'quiet' or 'slow' in a firehouse, all the same, Matt Casey wasn't wont to believing in omens. All the same he couldn't help wondering if it was a sign that the same day Kelly finally bit the bullet and scheduled his first appointment with a therapist to start coping with what had happened to him, that night the city was plunged into a severe thunderstorm, which included almost nonstop blinding lightning and roaring thunder, and the sound of rain beating against the windows.

Casey found himself in Severide's room, in bed with him again that night. This time however was slightly more awkward as Kelly didn't wait until he fell asleep to inch over to Matt's side of the bed and practically crawled on top of him.

"I'm sorry."

That seemed to be all the further Kelly could get for an explanation as he pressed his head firmly against Matt's chest. Matt would swear he could feel a bunch of tiny little tremors running through Kelly's body.

"It's alright, Kelly."

"I don't know what's wrong with me," Severide told him as he subconsciously pressed himself even tighter against Matt. Outside the rain poured and the thunder rumbled and it seemed like it was having an effect on Kelly, as he explained to Matt, "So many things bother me anymore that never used to, the way things sound...the way they smell, the way things feel."

Matt had absolutely no idea what to make of the apparent fact then that he himself was one of the things that didn't have that particular effect on Kelly.

Somewhere above them, thunder erupted in several large rumbling explosions, then as it started to die down, Casey heard a small electrical crackle as the dark bedroom became even darker as the faint lights from the digital clock and the old DVD player on the dresser conked out, and when that happened he felt Kelly's body press even tighter against his and felt every inch of it tense up. Even with the storm Casey could see the street lights were still on, so the whole block hadn't lost the power, just them.

"It's alright," he assured Kelly as he pried his arms out from under the Squad lieutenant and soothingly patted him on both sides of his back, "It's just the storm...it'll be back on by morning."

Kelly didn't seem to be as convinced of that as Matt was, and he still clung tight to Casey. Matt loosely wrapped his arms around Kelly's back and held him close as they listened to the storm raging outside.