Chapter 3 : Meet my renewed BFF, the sword saint.

Patching together, patching together, patching together, Lets go kill that freak!

Subaru walks leisurely to the slums with his new pokemon, Reinhardt as they have plenty of time before the potential slaughter of 'his' future friends. In this moment of silence he decides to do a little more consulting.

Subaru : 'Hey Felt, i got some important stuff to ask you. I know it's a bit sudden but hear me out.'

G Felt : 'Sure thing big bro! I'm all ears.'

Subaru : 'Ok so, i was wondering if you even want to be in the selection to become king in this world in the first place. After seeing your memories it almost felt like you hated it all.'

G Felt : '... Well that's a really sudden one and a lot to decide on the spot.' her voice becomes quieter

Subaru 'I know i know i'm sorry, but i think it's better for you to not even bother, there can only be 1 king in the end and it's not like you were a front runner for the throne with your whole anarchy declaration anyways.'

G Felt : '..Heh you're right..'

G Rom : 'Hey, ain't it worth a shot anyways? you'll be living it up in the Astrea mansion instead of my old slum house for atleast a few years at worst and the royal palace for the rest of your life at best.'

G Felt : 'I don't mind, we can just continue with our plan of saving up and moving out.'

G Reinhardt : 'Please reconsider, i'll protect and serve you with all my being, keep you safe and make sure you fulfill your destiny upon the throne. I swear it on my title as sword saint.'

G Felt : 'Oh please even if i did make it you're forgetting one of my opponents got a frickin unbeatable time traveler simping for them, as if he'll let that future exist..'
Several 'tsks' can be heard all around, most likely from 'his' friends in the other royal candidate camps.

G Felt : 'And also ain't i here because you kinda screwed up on the whole keep you safe part? What if i just get killed again by someone else?!'

Subaru and G Reinhardt : 'Ouch!'

Real Reinhardt takes notice that Subarus face is contorting for seemingly no reason or as if he's losing the imaginary argument going on in his head during a shower really badly.

Reinhardt : "Hey Subaru, are you ok?"

Subaru didn't yet realise it was the real one talking to him.

Subaru : "Yeah i'm fine but shouldn't i be asking you that, Rein? You just got roasted even worse than me, hahah!"

Reinhardt has no fking idea what he's talking about so he looks at him notices his eyes aren't even perceiving reality right now. He walks a little faster infront of Subaru and stops, Subaru who didn't even see him move in the way bumps into him then takes a few steps back. Subaru repeatedly blinks his eyes trying to gain some focus back so he can see what he just walked into.

Reinhardt has a worried expression as it seems his new companion has a very hard time seeing and is nearly infact blind. He waits patiently for a couple of seconds until he can see atleast one of those foggy grey eyes look back at him.

Subaru finally gets it right and is now face to face with Reinhardt with both eyes 'been a while since i got to have depth perception' he thought

Subaru : "Ah, Hello there, Rein."

Reinhardt : "Yes, hello there Subaru, welcome back." the uneasiness leaves his face.

Subaru : "Oh wait we're starting to get into the slums now." he says as he looks around and takes notice that the buildings in their surroundings are getting progressively crappier.

Reinhardt : "Yeah we are, now would be a good time for you to finally tell me who's this dangerous individual you've got a date with so we can start looking"

Subaru : "Ok no!"

G Elsa : 'Actually you're right about that, only your bowels need to show up for our date, you're free to leave the rest behind, kukuhu.'

"First of all i hate her." Of course i do shes the one who dares to oppose 'Natsuki Subaru' and threaten 'his' friends not once but twice! "And second she is the Bowel hunter, Elsa Granheirt"

Reinhardt : "Ah i see, you have a tricky case, i'm glad you've chosen me for this job and didn't take it to the guard post." he says as he imagined they would just get slaughtered by such a skilled assassin as the bowel hunter.

Subaru : "You're welcome, Rein." He says as he tips an invisible hat.

Reinhardt : "Also i've been meaning to ask, why do you call me 'Rein'?"

Subaru : "It's your friendship perk free nickname!" he throws out a thumbs up as they keep walking.

While Reinhardt gets lost in thought contemplating how he feels about his new friend and nickname, Subaru uses the moment of silence as a chance to get back to his inner consultings.

G Felt : 'Ok big bro. I got my decision. I don't wanna be in the race but if you can check and see if that crazy bitch actually had the money and give me the 10 holy coins she originally promised if she does. I'll call it even.. for now.' her voice fades away along with the breathing noises of the other members in Felt camp.

Subaru : 'Noice, first debt shall be completed! But this means i got to deal with Elsa before she gets to the loothouse and can't just wait for her with Reinhardt or he will snatch Felt. Does anyone have ideas on how to go about that?'

? : 'Well you should be able to-' The unidentified hallucination was cut off by another.

? : 'Oooh me master! I got lotsa ideas!'

Subaru : 'Ugh, fine Shaula i'll hear you out but it better be decent.'

G Shaula : 'Ok so you know how Reid 8.0 had a buttload of these "protection" thingies right? And how he was always able to track me no matter what somehow right master? Maybe he can just use it on the creepy lady you're looking for to find her before your loothouse date.'

Subaru : '..Wait are you actually smart and were just playing dumb the entire time i knew you?! I was expecting your interactions to become stale and repetitive like the rest but this is the first time you actually had a good idea.'

G Shaula : 'Owwie, Master is mean! But it's not like i hate that about you heheh.'

'Of course the problem can be solved with a divine protection, infinite divine protections solves everything. Hell he even used to have one that solved the problem of his own death.' he thinks while remembering dying as Reinhardt against the archbishop of greed.

Subaru breaks the silence and interrupts Rein's thoughts before he can do it to him again.

Subaru : "Yo Rein, do ya got a divine protection that can detect people?"

Reinhardt : "Well technically yes but the criteria is quite specific, so it is rather unlikely it would help."

Subaru : "Eeh, tell me anyways about it, you never know."

Reinhardt : "Very well, here it goes : I have the divine protection of Thot detection, it allows me to detect individuals who shamelessly wear scandalous garments."

Subaru : "PFFfft! Somehow that sounds exactly like it would totally work. Give it a go!"

Reinhardt : "Very well then" he stops walking, closes his eyes and activates it. He 'sees' a dim light In the distance and assumes that's what his divine protection is detecting.

G Shaula : '..Wait hold on.. It worked on me and that means.. UWAaaah! Does this mean i'm scandalous?! Master! Is this why you've never returned my love master?! I'm willing to change anything, destroy mountains for you maasteer! All you had to do was tell me and i could've changed! UWAahhah! Shaula was only wearing what master gave her you know...'

Doing his best to ignore the 400+ year old's voice in his head that kept whining hysterically, he tries to focus on finding the dangerous assassin that draws nearer to butchering 'his' would-be friends with every passing minute.

Subaru : "So did ya find anything?" he says as he stops the walk shortly after his renewed bud.

Reinhardt : "Yes i did." He points towards the direction of the dim light and points to it then open his eyes. "There. Although it seems to be quite far."

Subaru : "Ugh, Screw walking, my legs are tired, can't i just ride you piggyback and let your superman speed do the rest?" he says quite the lie as he has long since grown used to long walks across country with Shaula. But really screw walking, i can't keep up this small talk forever.

Reinhardt : "Actually i got a better method of transportation in mind." He says with a devilish grin.

He grabs Subaru, picking him up and holding him in a bridal carry then crouches down.

Subaru : "Wait wait no Rein! i'm not ready for this!" he yells as he knows what the sword saint is about to do, for he has seen it many times over and even more in other's memories.

Reinhardt : "As the way you put it, TOO BAD!"

He thrusts off the ground leaving a small crater, propelling himself towards the direction he just pointed at, already halfway to the clouds.

Subaru : "Wait wai-AAAGAAAHAH- No, hold on you got the frickin ground dragon protection too?!" He says in surprise as he was expecting to get his shoes and underwear blown off by the wind pressure yet surprisingly he didn't feel any "Do you also pull the royal carriages as a part time side jo-?! -HkK agh!" he starts choking on a bug, experiencing first hand as to why Reinhardt didn't talk back.

G Magical clown simp : 'Haaaah~ that's quite the noobie mistaaaake~ you've made~'

Reinhardt descends from the sky with a silent crash somehow, making yet another small crater infront of the alleged Thot while holding his red faced amnestic delusional friendo. Whether he had a red face from embarrassment or lack of oxygen due to his choking fit is unknown.

He examens the Thot before him while dumping his human shaped baggage in the dirty hole he made.

Reinhardt : "Black hair, black clothes and a such a sadistic expression. With those characteristics, there's almost no mistaking it. You're the 'Bowel Hunter' my friend warned me about, right?"

Sadist bitch : "Blazing red hair and eyes blue as the sky and that sword's sheath with a dragon's craw engraved in it. With those characteristics there's no mistaking it. You're Reinhardt, the knight among knights and crazed sword saint, right?" She says in a mocking tone as she copied what he said. "Incredible, to think the guards would be generous enough send such an interesting person to guide me during my tourist visit from Gusteko."

Reinhardt : "I'll take that as a confirmation then, Now i'd hate to use the force of violence on a woman, i suggest you surrender peacefully."

Sadist bitch : "I'll consider your offer if you'd be willing to surrender your bowels to me aswell." she says as she whips out a kukri and starts licking it.

Reinhardt : "It seems physical conflict is unavoidable" he says as he walks over to a bush then rips off a branch and walks back.

Masochistic bitch : "You're planning to take me on with that.. thing? You'd better be jesting, because i wanna get impaled by the dragon sword!"

Reinhardt : "Sorry but i can only draw it on opponents that are a little biiit more worthy." he says as he slashes the air with the branch making a small gust of wind and all the other side branches and leaves fall off and scatter, unsheathing one hell of a badass-lookin stick! He puts a small amount of mana into it to make it's durability increase which makes it start glowing blue like a crooked lightsaber.

G Shaula : 'Master i knew it! He was Reid 8.0 all along! The Reinhardt is a lie! I mean just look at how he was able to acquire such a fine stick so quickly! It is truly the great stick connoisseur in the flesh!'

Stick swinger 8.0 : "This is all i will need against the likes of you."

The atmosphere becomes tense and air becomes heavy in the presence of such a mighty badass stick, normally people would have to start breathing manually or fall unconscious within it, however Subaru wasn't a normal person as he has been the target of such an atmosphere hundreds of times.

Subaru : "I really like the attitude, a lot less self deprecating than normal, but you're going to have to bonk her really hard with that 'cause you see here she has this op regen thing and you kinda need to destroy her instantly in one fell swoop."

Stick swinger 8.0 : "Subaru i suggest you make some space and let me take it from here." he doesn't mean to dismiss his friend's concerns but he can clearly see he is not fit for combat.

Subaru : "Already on it." he starts to run behind Reinhardt and stops after running a block then stops to turn around to see they havn't started yet.

Subaru : "Yo! If you guys are gonna battle can i do the countdown?!" he yells across the street as he pulls out his flip phone and hits the record button like it's a middle school cafeteria food fight. He then takes the snacks out of the plastic bag i totally forgot to mention this entire story and starts eating it with his other hand.
'Mmph, these fish food flakes are as good as ever it's been so long, truly nostalgic.' he thinks as a lone tear runs down his cheek.. the first one he had in a really long time.

Elsa : "... Very well however don't expect me to abide."

Reinhardt : "Yeah go for it."

Subaru : "Ok here we go!" he says as he clears up his voice and face

...3!...

Bowel hunter : "Elsa Granheirt."

...2!...

Sword saint : "Reinhardt Van Astrea."

...1!...

The impatient assassin attacks prematurely with a lunge at the speed of a flash as she rushed toward Reinhardt, aiming for his slender neck. Forget using a stick to block that strike, he didn't even attempt to dodge. Reinhardt instantly stomps on the ground with force that shatters it and creates a shockwave, which makes freeze Elsa in her tracks and take a few steps back to recoil.

Subaru : "Hey Bitch! I didn't say 'FIGHT' yet!... I mean, FIGHT!"

G Elsa : 'I get that was rather "uncool" of me but may you stop calling such a lovely woman a bitch every single time?'

Subaru : 'Bitch, i'll stop calling you a bitch when you stop being a bitch, bitch.'

G Elsa : 'You are truly an infuriating man! Now i see the bigger picture as to why my employer hired me to assassinate his own butler rather than easily doing it himself.'

As if it were a command, Reinhardt starts condensing a ridiculous amount of atmospheric mana into his badass-lookin oversized glow stick, getting brighter and larger by the second, Elsa who didn't want to find out what he was about to do with all that mana wraps her magic-proof cloak around her left arm as a shield and charges at him again with a kukri in the right in a desperate attempt to stop what he was doing.

However it was too late, the badass-magical-glow-stick-lightsaber of badassitude was already 3 stories tall and 1.3 medium sized refrigerators in thiccness as Reinhardt wasn't holding anything back because he already analysed his surroundings noting that besides Subaru, there was no one else in the vicinity susceptible to the radius of cross-fire.

He swiftly swings down on the approaching flash of a bowel hunter making a large blue explosion of mana upon impact that obliterates the nearby wreckage of uninhabited buildings and damages roughly a dozen others across the street.

G Beatrice : 'Betty does not mean to distress her contractor i suppose, however that particular stick is infused with enough mana to still hit you infact.'

Subaru : "Huh?" he makes a dumb sound of confusion at failing to understand simple speech.

The immense shockwave instantly reaches Subaru and hits him along with a dust cloud before he can react to 'his' contracted spirit's spirit as he is instantly knocked off his feet and launched back a several meters, falling onto his ass while his favorite brand of fish food flakes goes flying away in the strong winds with the plastic bag, making the very first littering of plastic to grace the world. He tightly clutches his phone so that it doesn't meet the same fate.

Although the cloak was absorbing a lot of mana, it was soon overwhelmed and she faces the brunt of the blast with her beautiful sadistic face, pulverising the freak instantly.

The blast reminds Subaru of how his old Reinhardt pulverised hundreds if not a few thousand of his Shaulas right infront of him. He didn't blame him, infact it made him respect Reinhardt as he put up the biggest fight out of everyone in the name of his friend 'Natsuki Subaru.'

G Shaula : 'Okay Masta! We killed da ho, beeeetch!' she says as the dust settles down.

Subaru : "Wait, Shit! I'ts already over?! Due to the blast and dust i barely got to record anything! OI Rein! can we do a reshoot?! But try not to kick up too much dust this time!" he yells as he starts running back to his side.

Reinhardt : "I'm afraid that won't be possible."

Subaru : "Oh don't tell me you're out of mana." He says in a quieter tone as he got closer to his renewed friendo.

Reinhardt : "Well besides the fact the target is completely disintegrated.. another thing dear to all of us is aswell.." he says as he looks down with sadness in his face as he gives the report.

Subaru : "Wait no.. Don't tell me it is. Where's the stick Reinhardt? Where's the bloody stick of badassitude!?" he asked calmly, with a tone full of denial and grief.

Reinhardt : "It's gone Subaru, gone, reduced to atoms."

Subaru : "NOOOOOOO! shit!" He falls to the floor on his knees with built up tears streaming down his face from his dead grey eyes full of nothing but grief.

Reinhardt bends down and puts his hand on Subaru's shoulder in an attempt to calm him down and make him feel better.

Reinhardt : "Shh, shhhh it's ok, there are plenty of other wonderful sticks out there in the world to explore." was the best thing he could think of in order to try to convince his new friend not to give up on life in a seemingly stickless world.

Subaru : "Stick trusted you! And i thought i could too. So why, in bloody hell, did you let stick evaporate like that!" his voice is starting to grow hoarse with all the yelling.

He lifts his head up slightly, thinking about turning around and sucker punching the traitor of his trust in his handsome face but in his teary eyed blurry vision he notices a small object on the floor, he wipes his eyes with his dusty sleeve which didn't frickin help at all, it just made it worse as now he has dirty tear streks across his face and dust in his eyes. He rolls up his sleeve and tries again with his bare forearm and in his cleared vision the floor object appeared to be a medium sized coin pouch, somehow unharmed as if it just appeared there to be a cash reward for when you beat the bad guys in a video game.

Subaru : "Ooh, money." all the negative emotions disappear almost as fast as stick did as he noticed the newlyfound unattended money sitting on the ground.

He pounces on the pouch, landing on it like a gmod ragdoll then quickly picks it up and peeks inside. He sees multiple Holy coins as it was Elsa's purse then closes it and tucks it away in his pocket and stands up.

Reinhardt : "I'm glad you're feeling better." he tries to put on a warm smile to cheer up his friend however the loss of stick still sticks to him heavily.

Subaru : "Ok that's part 1 of the plan, let's go do part 2. Follow me!" he says as he walks towards the loothouse while being guided by the delusions of an excited dead Felt and Rom

Reinhardt follows behind, as instructed.

R.I.P stick of badassitude , 3 B.A - 0 A.A ( before arrival; after arrival)

Subaru patiently waits for Emilia in the area around the loot house with Reinhardt lurking nearby.

Little did he know it was actually his own presence keeping Emilia away from finding the loothouse as a floating magical cat detected Subaru's strong witch miasma aura and through their contract made Emilia subconsciously avoid going in that direction even when his daily contract time expired as he wanted Emilia to stay away from such a person.

Eventually with multiple people giving her directions she manages to make it to where it's suspected her insignia is being held.

She suddenly feels a threatening presence close to her and stiffens up like there is something deep inside screaming at her to be careful.

? : "Hello there, I've been waiting a while for you. did you get lost?"

Emilia sees a white haired boy in strange cloths appear to her side.

Emilia : "Who are you?! Are you in league with the theif?!" She raises her guard and summons a few floating ice shards, trying to look threatening with her cute face by making a glare.

? : "Nah, I'm actually here to help you get it back." He holds out his arm with a small pouch in his hand.

Emilia : "And what's this?" She looks down at his hand and back up to meet his disturbing empty grey eyes and recoiled back a step feeling uneasy.

? : "Well you see this is a little pouch of money and if you give it to the theif you can just have her hand what you're looking for right back to you."

Emilia : "Wait, but why should you or I have to pay them for something they stole? That doesn't make sense and even less for you."

? : "Ehh, good point buut I also kinda owe them this money in a way."

Emilia : "I'll accept your kind offer then." She dispells the ice shards and takes the pouch quickly then swiftly backs off once more to comply with the voice inside her pleading with her to run.

She runs up to a house and gives it a knock-knock

? : "That's the wrong place, the loot house is that one." he says as he reaches out to point to house she actually wanted to enter.

Emilia's face becomes tinted red from embarrassment but doesn't reply and instead hurrys over to the correct establishment giving it another knock-knock then entering.

(yeedee yada, ill write felt's surrender later so writing doesnt feel like a chore in the long run. lmao its been a week)

Shortly after Emilia leaves the loothouse with her insignia a pink haired maid appears with a carriage like shes just been waiting for it expectantly. The two men who were waiting outside are gone.

When Subaru sees her flustered face he couldn't help but think 'she's cute.' and a slight smile graces his face but then remembers that in another world he ordered that same cute face to be blown off with a white hot beam of light without a second thought, leaving behind a charred gory hole with steaming brain juices oozing out in its place then shouting 'Boom headshot!' as he high-fived Shaula. The second thought instantly removes the smile and replaces it with grief.

Subaru : "I shouldn't be allowed to have such warm thoughts." he whispers with a pitiful face.

G Emilia 'I'm reeeeally sorry my counterpart treated you so coldly but please be happy and smile. You've saved me all over once again my dearest knight, i want you to be proud and happy.'

Subaru : 'Sorry Emilia, i just can't. I'll never deserve it. Now please just go, i'm not in the mood to pretend to be 'him' with you right now.'

Reinhardt pops out of seemingly nowhere as he takes notice of his friend's distressed state.

Reinhardt : "You've successfully completed your goal however i don't understand how this upsets you, but i won't pry by questioning the gloomy mood."

Subaru : "You're right, we're done here. Let's go." he says in a cold tone as he thinks 'I don't deserve to stick around, recieve their praise or be their hero. I will leave that for their true hero, 'Natsuki Subaru' to reclaim.'

Reinhardt : "Are you sure? We haven't yet confirmed if she would request any additional assistance. We should wait a little while longer."

Subaru : "Nah she's a strong girl, she'll figure the rest out, come on let's go, it's super late." Subaru turns from the crimson haired man and starts walking off back towards the main part of the capital.

Reinhardt still wishes to stay behind however he decides to have faith in the candidate and his newfound friend and hesitantly catches up with him, matching his pace.

Reinhardt : "Hey, that was mean attempting to leave me behind like that, if you're in another hurry i'd be very much content in giving you another lift." he says with his devilish grin and slightly annoyed expression while reaching his arms out yet again.

Subaru : "NOPE! A lift isn't needed, we are just fine walking. Thank you but hell-no thank you."

Somewhere during their walk he let it slip that he has plans to stay the night at an inn.

Reinhardt : "Please allow me to accommodate you in my estate, it would be an honor to have you and reward you for your assistance in bringing down that mass murderer known as the Bowel hunter

Subaru : "Nah sorry i can't, i got things i need go do. And plus all i did was watch you do it."

Reinhardt :"Please do, i insist, even if it's just for tonight."

Subaru : "Hey Rein why are you so desperate to have a man spend the night at your home? I didn't know you swing that way, how will dear Father react us and our developpement?" he says with a teasing tone and a smug face while hugging himself and doing his best to ignore the deafening amount of berating coming from the voices in his head.

Reinhardt : "AHEM! That is not what i meant!" he loudly says as he looks away.

Subaru : "Yeah yeah, sure it isn't." he thinks 'Is this gaybo blushing or what?!'

Reinhardt : "Also, i couldn't help but notice that you were quite familiar with the person you met up with, are you aware of who she really is?"

Subaru : "Yep, that's my Emilia-tan, the cutest royal candidate for the throne."- 'And someone i murdered.' he thinks

Reinhardt : "Oho, you've even got a nickname for her? I also noticed she appears to have never met you before and seemed quite afraid of you, say Subaru that's kinda sus, are you a stalker? Did you know that due to her position you can get into some serious trouble?"

Subaru : "OK! First of all it's not like that, we really do know each other and secondly, Emilia-tan is too nice and sweet to ever prosocute me for it!" he says as he shoves 2 fingers in front of the crimson boi's face.

Reinhardt : "Hmmh sure. You're a lucky one, exposing and admitting to your heinous crimes on my day off."

Subaru : "Oh shut it! I told you it's not like that, and why the hell do you sound like Ram?!"

Their exchange back and forwards continues across the capital under the moonlit starry sky until they make it back to the market district

Reinhardt : "By the way Subaru, judging by the volume of the pouch i noticed there were originally 20 holy coins."

Subaru : "yeah aaand?" He thinks 'Damn it Rein, you're too perceptive, stop noticing crap already!'

Reinhardt : "When you've given Miss Emilia the small pouch there appeared to be only 10.."

Subaru : "Yeess." he lowers his head with an embarrassed tone.

Reinhardt : "And now just where are the other 10 i wonder?" he asks with a deadpanned face

Subaru : "Uuyhhh. I CALL DIBS! Tell your IRS guard friends to kindly go fuck themselves if they want to try and collect income taxes from me!"

He runs off with a loud clanking sound in his shoes leaving the sword saint behind to continue towards the noble district before he can retaliate once more as they part directions.

Reinhardt whispers "Ah, what a peculiar man, he has such a way with words. I guess he really is a worthy opponent for banter." as he thinks about the strange new friend he made today. "Our battles shall truly be legendary"

I get that my story is a little dumb rn but i'll kick things off with teh end of arc 2 or 3.

BTW please lemme know if im screwing up anyone-but-reinhardt's character too badly, i kinda forgot to make a few changes to felt as she is supposed to have been a royal candidate for a over year now before her demise but ehh too bad

Also sorry about delay, ok so I wrote this on my computer the first time then because I wanted autocorrect since i forgot how to spell again, I switched to mobile but when I got to my doc page on mobile it automatically saved a nearly blank page and i lost everything. OOF to me but since i'm unproductive as heck i already read it 58 times instead of finishing it so i kinda was able to copy most of it from memory, i'll still fill in the unimportant blanks later.

? : Such a grave delegation of responsibility! For you are loved, trusted, CHOSEN to lead the kingdom to a bright and prosperous future and yet, and yet, and yet, yet, yet, yet! You do not dare to even acknowledge it! My brain TREMBLES! You are truly slothful.

Two heavily mutilated corpses are found in a slum house the next day.

yeah i'm taking this crap a lil more seriously from now on, tho i doubt that means anything lol

also it might have been obvious by now but rein is my fav character even tho hes a bit bland in cannon, i hope this makes you guys like him more too :3