Summer Reflections
A/N: This is a follow up to "Through Her Eyes" taking place between the first and second movie. Had some imput from nweeks3 on this one. Don't own any characters, besides my OC. Feel free to review. Hope you enjoy.
Sarah quietly made her way through the kitchen, the counter filled with sympathy cards, and whatever food was left after her mother's funeral. She wondered where the tradition came from to offer your condolences with a cheese danish, like that was supposed to make everything better. Sarah roamed through the house not wanting to read the cards from her family. They meant well of course, and offered to help in anyway they could, but mostly the act of kindness seemed to be out of tradition. They were going through the motions as most may do at a funeral. It was all anyone could do to retain their own sanity or perhaps not to think about it. Nobody really likes to think about death. For many it was a frightening force that no one could control, and also an unsettling reminder that someday it would happen to them. Maybe gathering around hourderves was some peoples best way of coping.
Sarah sat out on her porch, watching as the sun began to set. It was quiet and peaceful out here. A calming sight you could count on seeing at least once a day if you were lucky. The young girl sat there in silence just trying to figure out how she'd ever be able to accept this new normal. Mary Evelyn Klein was no longer here with the people who loved her most, and whether they liked it or not, the family would have to find a way to get along without her. This woman meant everything to those around her, to her fellow teachers, the kids in the orchestra, and to her loving husband and daughter. Without her they would always feel like apart of them was missing. Sarah couldn't think about the days ahead of her, and right now she didn't want to. Soon her father, John came to find her out on the porch. He was trying so hard to keep things together for Sarah, and whatever he had to do he would get his daughter through this. She glanced over to offer him a weary smile.
"Hey Dad."
"Hi Sweetheart." John said joining her on the bench, kissing the top of her head.
"Rabi Kaizer, says he's around if we need anything. He offered to pick up dinner for us, but I told him we'd be okay for now."
"Does it ever bother you that our Rabi is named after a dinner roll?" Sarah joked.
It was a joke that felt to Sarah not as a manner of dry wit, but a means of trying to regain some semblance of normal. It was a habit she had, to try and block out anything that was bothering her. Only this time it wasn't really working.
"I don't know if it was his name or the fact that he continues to wear a robe that is too long for him. I'm waiting for him to step on the end, and face plant one of these days. Your mom said she'd likely be the first to shout 'Rabi down!' "
They both chuckled at the memory. It felt good to remember the good things about Mary. She could always make anybody laugh when they needed to. Sarah always wanted to remember how sweet, funny and generous her mother was.
Present day
Sarah was back home now after completing her Freshmen year at Barden. It's been a little over a year since her mother passed away, and sitting on the front porch of her home it feels like little has changed. It's still just as hard to wake up everyday, and be here in her home knowing her mother is really gone. Coming back to see her dad was tough, but she knew she had to, and truthfully it was good to see him. Sarah wasn't expecting it to actually make her feel better. They really needed each other through this time, and she no longer wanted her father to feel like he'd lost her too. The two of them smiled through their tears as they embraced one another. John worried about Sarah for awhile, and wanted to see her get through this. He was grateful that she at least had Beca with her when she went off to college. He was proud of her for taking the step to go away to school, and happy to see her meld easily with the orchestra, and with the Bellas.
Sarah went back inside, and up to her room. For the time being she was avoiding the rest of the house except for the kitchen, and the bathroom. It was best for her right now to not be reminded that her mother would no longer touch these surfaces in her home. She was able to take solace in her room where she flopped down on her bed, opened her phone, and began flipping through Facebook. It was easy to pass the time sifting through funny memes, and laughing at people who post a picture of their sandwich. Sarah never posted too much on Facebook, but it was fun to see what others did. Soon she came across a post from Aubrey. It was a picture of a cute kitten resting atop his dog companion with the caption 'All you need in this life is a good friend.' Sarah liked the photo, and continued through her news feed. Moments later she heard the familiar Facebook messenger ding. The message was from Aubrey.
Aubrey: Hey, how are you doing?
Sarah: Not bad.
Aubrey: How's your summer going so far?
Sarah: It's okay. Working part time at the music shop. Other than that not too much is going on. You?
Aubrey: Yeah, I'm still working at the lodge.
Sarah: I saw that post awhile back. How's that going?
Aubrey: It's pretty good. I'm just walking with tour groups, and doing some grunt work at the moment, but it has management opportunities.
Sarah: Well good luck with that.
Aubrey: Thanks. Hey you doing anything this weekend?
Sarah: Nothing so far.
Aubrey: You wanna hang out, maybe get something to eat?
Sarah: Sure.
Aubrey: Cool, I'll text you over the weekend.
Sarah: Okay, talk to you soon.
Aubrey: You too, bye.
Sarah: Bye.
It was good to hear from Aubrey, and know she was doing well. The two hadn't really hung out alone before, but Sarah was looking forward to it.
The following Saturday, Sarah met Aubrey for lunch at the diner down the street from her house. She saw Aubrey already sitting at the table and greeted her with a hug. This is a more relaxed setting for these two outside of school, and the pressures of exams and Bella competition, and Sarah hoped they could spend this summer getting to know each other better. After their orders were placed, the two took a moment to catch up.
"So, are you enjoying post grad life?" Sarah asked.
"Yeah, It's been really good so far, though I've been missing the Bellas a lot. It's been a normal part of my life for so long."
"I know what you mean. I'm really glad I joined this group with Beca. These girls are really great."
"They are. It made my last year really fun." Aubrey said.
The food finally arrived, and they continued to talk. It was hard not to address the elephant in the room concerning the main thing the two had in common.
"So how's it been being back home and seeing your dad?" Aubrey asked.
"Okay, for the most part. It's been good to see him, although I've spent most of the time in my room. It's hard to look around the house knowing my mom is really gone."
"I definitely know what that is like." Aubrey said. " I was so young when my mom died, and my dad wasn't really good at dealing with the whole situation. I don't think he knew what to do either."
"It must have been hard for all of you. I think that's what kept me from talking to my dad for awhile. I was afraid of reminding him of what happened and upsetting him."
"Did you ever try grief counseling?" Aubrey asked.
"Hmm...no. Several people have suggested it to me, but I think it would be too weird to talk to a stranger."
"It might help to get an outside perspective." Aubrey told her.
"I don't know if I can think of what I want to say." Sarah said.
"I'll tell you what. If you'll go, I'll go with you."
"I'll think about it." Sarah said.
" Okay, well let me know your decision either way."
"I will." Sarah said.
Later that day in her bedroom, Sarah looked around online for group counseling sessions. She's given a lot of thought to their conversation, and maybe counseling would help. It was worth a shot, and she didn't have to share what she didn't want to. After thinking about it for awhile, she finally decided to call one of the numbers, and book a session.
By Tuesday afternoon Sarah and Beca had a free afternoon, and were able to meet for lunch. Since their time together in highschool and college, this summer while working part time jobs is probably the first time the two friends haven't spent almost everyday together, so it was nice when they got to hang out and relax. With Beca in a serious relationship, and Sarah learning that she can be independent and do things on her own, the girls are taking steps into adulthood and are changing for the better. Beca has been really happy being with Chloe, and it shows.
"So, I guess things are going well with Chloe?"
"Yeah, she's really great." Beca nodded. "Somehow she get's me to do things I never thought I would and I'm not mad about that."
"Like what kind of things?"
"Well, over the weekend we went and sang karaoke." Beca told her while Sarah grinned in disbelief.
"Stop it. You went and sang karaoke?" Sarah chuckled.
"Yeah, she said she hasn't gone in a long time, and I couldn't say no."
"What'd you guys sing?" Sarah asked.
"You're The One That I Want from "Grease"."
"Wow really?" Sarah laughed. "I'm so sorry I missed that."
"Yeah, we were a pretty big hit, and Chloe had a really great time."
Sarah really liked seeing Beca like this with someone she really cared about. Beca is her best friend and a good person, so Sarah thought Beca deserved to be happy.
"So what did you do over the weekend?" Beca asked.
"I talked to Aubrey."
"Really, what about?"
"Not much, mostly work. She suggested going to grief counseling." Sarah told her.
"Oh wow. So are you gonna go?"
"I made an appointment after Aubrey said she'd go too, but I still feel uneasy about it." Sarah said.
"I think it'll be good for you. You should definitely do it."
"I know." Sarah nodded. "I'm a little scared, but at least somebody I know will be there."
"You'll call and let me know how it goes?" Beca asked.
"Yeah." Sarah nodded.
Sarah wasn't the least bit confident about talking to a roomful of people about her mother's death, and reliving all that pain, but it was a big step in moving forward which is what Sarah wanted to do.
Aubrey is at home after her workday going over her schedule for the upcoming tour groups who will be staying at the lodge. So far the job has been rewarding for Aubrey, being able to put her best skills to good use, and it's kept her busy which is one thing that keeps Aubrey from being stressed. Many people have noticed a difference in Aubrey since graduating from Barden. They see an Aubrey that although is still a perfectionist, she's stopped caring about what other people think, and is only worrying about what she can control. The lodge has programs meant to teach people how to work together, and it has also taught Aubrey a thing or two about being a team player. She's seen how valuable these experiences have been to those who've attended, and Aubrey has taken those experiences to heart.
Everything looks good with the schedule, so Aubrey shuts down her laptop, and prepares for bed. Over on the bookshelf, Aubrey spots a familiar photo album, pulls it out and begins flipping through it. They were pictures she hasn't looked through in awhile of Aubrey with her mom when she was little. Aubrey stopped on a photo of herself standing in the front yard with her mom on her first day of kindergarten. Aubrey wore a blue dress with pink flowers that she picked out herself, and had her hair curled just like her mom's. Next to that one was a photo of Aubrey, her mom, and her older brother, Michael in the back yard during a Fourth of July barbecue. While Michael followed in their father's footsteps and enlisted in the military, Aubrey really bonded with their mom. Marie Posen loved to sing her whole life and has passed her love of music down to her daughter. They always sang together when Aubrey was little, and Aubrey will never forget those times. It's hard to believe Aubrey's mom has been gone for almost eleven years now. Even though she has cried, Aubrey never really dealt with her mother's death. Her dad wasn't good at dealing with emotions, and Aubrey was so young at the time, so she didn't really know how to process the whole thing. Thinking about the meeting tomorrow made Aubrey nervous. It was something she promised Sarah she would do with her, and she intended to keep her word. Still Aubrey layed there, worrying about what old feelings this would bring up.
Sarah and Aubrey both walked into the counseling session feeling very nervous, yet they kept telling themselves that this would be good for them, and it was a step both girls needed to take. They both quietly entered the room, made a cup of coffee and took a seat with the group. The girls listened to others in the group with stories not unlike their own. There was a guy named Marty, who lost his wife in a car accident while he was driving. It took a long time for him to seek out help, and to this day he still blames himself for what happened. Another woman, Shelly lost her son when he lost his battle with Cystic Fibrosis at the age of nineteen, and a boy who lost his father who worked in construction, and suffered fatal injuries at his job when he fell three stories off the structure being built. All of these people expressed feelings of emptiness, despair, and a sense of hopelessness wondering how something like this could happen to them, and some wondering if there was more they could have done to prevent this.
At some point, the group looked over to their two newcomers, and both girls froze. Aubrey smiled nervously while Sarah sat wringing her hands. Aubrey decided to break the silence and tell her story first.
"Hi, I'm Aubrey. Well...when I was eleven I lost my mom to Congestive Heart Failure. My dad told me about it when I came home from school that day, and it kind of took everybody by surprise. We knew she was feeling sick for awhile, but I don't think any of us expected that it was anything serious enough to kill her."
Sarah laid a hand on top of Aubrey's after she told her story. She could definitely relate to her mother's illness coming out of nowhere. Many group members were sympathetic to Aubrey losing her mother at such a young age. At this point, it was Sarah's turn to speak and it couldn't be avoided any longer.
"I'm Sarah. My mom died when I was seventeen. She had a brain tumor. The doctor said it was a low grade tumor and that's likely why it wasn't caught right away."
Sarah bit her nails trying to figure out how to continue. It's been almost a year and a half since her mother died, but most of it still feels like it happened yesterday.
"Uhm...well my dad and I were really shocked when it happened. It's taken a long time for me to talk with him about her death. As much as I love him, it was always easier to talk to my mom about things. We were alway really close; she and I could share anything."
Aubrey could definitely relate to that. She could never relate to her military father, and her mother was the one who could offer her comfort while growing up. This was all really tough to talk about, but the girls did okay and they were really proud of themselves. The other members of the group felt for them, and were there to listen while sharing similar experiences.
Sarah and Aubrey had a good first session this afternoon. It was emotional, but they both were happy to have gotten through it. While Aubrey was driving Sarah home, she was talking about some stuff they could do together, because Aubrey wanted to take this time to get to know Sarah more. She wanted to figure out more about her, and not go by what she has prejudged in the past. When Sarah got back to her house, she couldn't wait to fill her father in.
"Dad, I'm home."
"Hi, Honey. How'd it go today?"
"Not bad. I shared the basics with them about what happened to Mom. It kind of felt weird talking to people I didn't know about her, but at least Aubrey was there with me."
"That's good, Honey. I think this will be really good for you."
"Yeah, I guess it's going good so far. Still feels weird, but I'm hoping for the best."
"That's all we can do, Sweetie."
With that Sarah and John went to have dinner and just enjoy each others company. John was proud of his daughter for seeking out help, knowing the hard time she's had dealing with her mother's death. It wasn't easy for Sarah to share her feelings with most people beside Beca and her mother, but John was glad to see her have support while attending counseling. Maybe it would help her become more open, and get her to express herself more easily.
While spending a day at the beach, Beca and Chloe were sitting in their sand chairs looking out at the water. Their summer has been going great so far, and since they've started dating, Beca and Chloe have enjoyed this time together.
"Man, I love it out here. It's finally a hot enough day to get a good tan."Chloe said.
"And of course the best part, cooling off in the water."Beca added.
"Definitely." Chloe said."So, have you heard how Sarah is doing with her grief counselor?"
"Aubrey's been helping her out a lot these past few days. She's only been to one meeting so far, but Sarah told me the session went well."Beca said.
"That's good. I hope it continues that way."
"I'm glad she's doing this. I think It'll be good for her." Beca said.
Beca knows the hard time Sarah has had going through her mother's death and how hard it's been for her to come to grips with it. During their freshmen year at Barden despite everything that's happened, Beca has seen a positive change in Sarah. Joining the Bellas wouldn't have been Beca's first idea nor Sarah's, but meeting these girls has been the best part of college, and has given them a support system that has stuck with them for the better part of this year. Maybe for Sarah it will be a good thing to get to know Aubrey better, and to know someone who knows her pain personally.