"So wait, he actually had full ones made?" asked Stephanie.
"Evidently," said Barbara.
The two women descended the staircase from beyond the grandfather clock in Bruce's dining hall in the dark caves below. Barbara had invited Stephanie over at Bruce's request, though the Dark Knight himself was out of town. Apparently he had finally given into Stephanie's request for a different suit. She hoped he hadn't been avoiding it out of cheapness. The dude owned, like, a percent of the planet or something.
The two made their way through the batcave and into the armory section. Barbara punched a code into the keypad and the various cylinders turned in sequence before revealing four different red, green, and black spangled Robin costumes on four different mannequins.
"Rad!" smiled Stephanie.
Did I just say 'rad?'
"Right?" said Barbara, "For a guy who values cold efficiency, he sure incorporates a heavy dose of aesthetic in his designs."
"I mean he dresses like a bat."
"Right."
"So should I start trying them on?" suggested Stephanie.
"Not quite," said Barbara, "Bruce suggested testing them all in combat scenarios and I'm inclined to agree with him."
"Oh cool, so we'll be sparring?"
"Unfortunately, no" frowned Barbara, "Bruce wants me on analysis."
"What do you mean 'unfortunately?'" asked Stephanie worriedly, "Who will I be sparring?
"Well…"
"You girls starting without me?" beckoned a voice from the top of the staircase.
Stephanie and Barbara looked up the stairs to see a tall and curvy woman standing confidently at the top, wearing heels with skinny jeans and a low cut blouse. She began her strut down to them as Barbara let out a long but quiet sigh. It took Stephanie a moment, but soon she realized who she was looking at.
"Oh!" chirped Stephanie, "You're Batman's girlfriend!"
Selina Kyle reached the foot of the stairs just as Stephanie finished these words and Barbara sucked her teeth in anticipation. Stephanie, confused, looked from Barbara to Selina. Selina chuckled to herself and walked up to Stephanie, staring her down.
"Cheeky little brat, aren't you?" she sneered, "Presumptuous, too."
"Sorry, I mean, uh… Catwoman?" tried Stephanie.
"Oh, this is going to be fun," smiled Selina widely.
"Like I said," whispered Barbara, "I'm sorry."
"What do you mean?" asked Stephanie nervously, turning to Barbara, "Sorry about wha- AAAHH!"
Snap!
Stephanie looked uncomfortably over her shoulder. The thick white waistband of her dark pink boyshorts was bunched all the way up her back, taking the rest of the fabric with it and shoving the entirety of it right up Stephanie's behind.
"Wow," scoffed Selina, "Nice undies. I'm going to go suit up. Back in a minute."
"...I think they're cute," offered Barbara.
"Thanks," muttered Stephanie weakly, legs still tense and cheeks still clenched, "They're usually real comfy too."
ROBIN COSTUME DESIGN #1 "Baseline"
Black mask covers eyes
Red t-shirt with black sleeves and black/yellow "R" logo
Black cape with yellow underside
Green elbow-length gloves
Yellow utility belt that hooks onto the waistband of the tights
Green tights
Black knee length boots
"Do we have to do this one?" complained Robin, kicking her left leg out, "We already know it doesn't fit!"
"Bruce wants us to have a control to compare the other costumes to," shrugged Batgirl, monitoring the tablet in her hand.
Robin groaned and squatted. This was the costume that belonged to Dick Grayson before her, so it was designed to be worn by him. As such, the tights bunched up in all the wrong places on Stephanie's shorter and curvier body, leading to wedgies pretty much constantly. It was the whole reason she wanted a new costume in the first place.
"Well be sure to write down Wedgie City," said Robin, tugging at her seat, "Population: my butt."
"If you insist!" purred Catwoman.
"EEP!"
"...kinda walked right into that one, Steph."
Robin let out a dejected and pained sigh as her feet hovered inches from the ground, held up by the now doubly bunched tights clenched in Catwoman's claws.
"Can we move on to the next one now?" asked Robin weakly, still aloft.
ROBIN COSTUME DESIGN #2 "The Classic"
Black mask covers eyes
Red t-shirt with green sleeves and black/yellow "R" logo
Black cape with yellow underside
Green gloves
Yellow utility belt tightly wrapped around waist
Green mid-thigh length trunks
Green pixie boots
"There's absolutely no way we're going with this one," sighed Robin, "Is there?"
She felt ridiculous in this costume. It didn't have any pants! She was basically just prancing around in green boxer shorts. She couldn't imagine going out in this on basically any night in Gotham without freezing to death. She couldn't figure out why it would be designed like this. It wasn't like it was even flattering. And she couldn't even begin to figure out the logic behind the pixie boots.
"Let's test it out first," said Batgirl, "That way I have some numbers to give Bruce so he doesn't throw a fit. You know how he gets."
"Don't we all," yawned Catwoman, "Can we get this started already?"
"Go ahead," nodded Batgirl.
Catwoman delivered a roundhouse kick at Robin. She ducked under the kick and dropped into a squat, feeling a rush of air through the loose legs of the trunks as she did. She then leapt straight into the air while delivering a front snap kick toward Catwoman's face. Catwoman blocked the blow with her arm, so Robin pushed off her arm with that leg to get an additional burst of momentum in the air. She used that to perform a full backflip and land on her feet, smiling confidently.
"How was that?" asked Batgirl.
"Okay I guess," shrugged Robin, "I don't know if I want that much leg showing, but it beats having a massive wedgie all night."
"Coming right up!" sang Catwoman.
Robin let out a squeal as Catwoman swiftly gripped the back of the waistband of her trunks and hoisted her off the ground by them. The loose material went straight up Robin's butt, exposing the pink boyshorts they were pressing through in the process. Batgirl sighed.
ROBIN COSTUME DESIGN #3 "The Acrobat"
Green mask covers eyes
Red leotard with green sleeves and black/yellow "R" logo
Black cape with yellow underside
Green gloves
Yellow utility belt tightly wrapped around waist
Green leggings worn under leotard
Black ankle boots
"Nope!" announced Robin as she emerged in the new costume, already pulling at the legholes of the leotard, "Wedgies are definitely WAY worse with this one!"
"Sorry," frowned Batgirl, "Let's run the combat quickly."
"Can't we just fudge some numbers for this one?" whined Robin, now pulling at her crotch, "This thing is crawling up from all directions. I'm worried I'm going to get a yeast infection!"
"...noted," said Batgirl.
"My point is- WHOA HO OW!"
Batgirl looked up from the tablet to see Catwoman holding Robin in the air by the upper back of her leotard, stretching it so thin that it clearly separated Robin's buttcheeks even through the leggings. The front was almost as bad.
"Ooh," winced Batgirl, "Okay, yeah let's just move on to the next one."
ROBIN COSTUME DESIGN #4 "The Assassin"
Green mask covers eyes
Red tunic with yellow highlights, long black sleeves, and red/yellow "R" logo
Black cape with yellow underside
Green elbow-length gloves
Yellow utility wrapped tightly around waist
Thick black pants
Knee length green boots
"Why is this one so heavy?" asked Robin.
"The material is more reinforced," explained Batgirl, "Bruce designed it to be used more for close combat than stealth or mobility."
"Well did he also design it to pants me?" asked Robin, looking down at the costume drooping down on her body, "Because that's what's happening."
"Oh come on," said Batgirl, "It can't be that bad."
Robin waited a beat. The pants dragged their way down off her hips and dropped to the ground, exposing her boyshorts once again. Robin tid a mock "tada" pose.
"Fair enough," nodded Batigrl.
"I can help with that!" declared Catwoman.
"Wait, no! ERK!"
Batgirl sighed as she saw Catwoman hiking the front and back of Robin's pants as high as she could, bouncing the blonde woman up in the air in the process. Batgirl rolled her eyes.
ROBIN COSTUME DESIGN #5 "The Burglar"
Black mask covers eyes
Red shirt with black/red "R" logo
Black cape with yellow underside
Yellow utility belt attached to waistband of trunks
Black elbow-length gloves
Black mid-thigh length trunks
Red tights worn under trunks
Black pixie boots
"Oh!" called out Robin as she emerged, "This one's tight!"
"More wedgies?" asked Batgirl, exasperated.
"Not quite, actually," said Robin, "but I don't think it was designed with boobs in mind. I'm worried it's too small."
"Then let's find out," suggested Batgirl.
"Alright," shrugged Robin, "Ready when you are, Cat."
"We're not a first name basis, sweetheart."
Catwoman leapt at Robin from the side. Robin dodged to the side and rolled into a crouch. She let out a deep breath. Catwoman paused to give Batgirl a chance to check in.
"You okay?" asked Batgirl.
"It's really hugging my chest," said Robin, "Do you think there's a way we can adjust or loosen it?"
"Probably," said Barbara, "How are the pants?"
Catwoman lazily kicked in Robin's direction. Robin leapt past the kick and next to Catwoman. Robin swung her leg up and toward Catwoman in a roundhouse kick, but Catwoman dodged it with a backbend. The kick kept going and soon the spread of Robin's legs was too much for the fabric to bear.
Rrrriiiipppp!
"God… Damnit…" muttered Robin.
Both the tights and the trunks had torn straight down the butt, leaving a widening diamond-shape window directly to her pink underpants. She sighed in defeat.
"Do you think maybe we could turn in for the day?" she requested.
"Sure," agreed Batgirl.
"But first…" said Catwoman devilishly.
"Oh no."
Robin squealed as Catwoman hooked her fingers under the utility belt and hiked the trunks up as hard as she could. The already torn trunks soon tore away completely as Catwoman pulled the utility belt up off Robin and Robin fell to the ground without it, twitching in discomfort.
ROBIN COSTUME DESIGN #6 "Mixed and Matched"
Green mask covers eyes
Red and green mid-thigh length tunic with black/red "R" logo
Black cape with yellow underside
Yellow utility belt around waist
Green tights
Green elbow-length gloves
Black knee length boots
"Where'd you get that?"
"I made it myself!"
"That explains it."
"What's that supposed to mean!?"
Robin stood before Batgirl and Catwoman in her newest costume. After they had finished training, Stephanie had returned to the bat cave and combined different parts of the different costumes, made some adjustments, and came out with a Robin costume she was genuinely happy with.
"Nothing," said Catwoman, "Doesn't matter as long as it works."
"This one wedgie-free?" smirked Batgirl.
"Sure is!" smiled Robin, "These are the tights that went with that leotard. Turns out, a tunic serves the same purpose as a leotard but with less wedgies."
"Doesn't the tunic slow you down?" asked Catwoman.
"Not this one," said Robin, turning in place to show off the costume, "It hugs my body pretty tight, but not so much that I can't breathe."
"Wow," smiled Batgirl, "Looks like you figured it out. Let's run some tests real quick and we can report to Batman."
"Agreed," said Catwoman as she approached Robin, "But first…"
"EEP!"
"Selina…" groaned Batgirl under her breath.
Catwoman had flipped up the back of Robin's tunic, grabbed two fistfuls of tights and boyshorts and hiked both layers up, once more hoisting Robin into the air in the process.
"Sorry," sneered Catwoman, "Couldn't resist."