What A Tangled Web We Weave

by The0Stars0Are0Shining0

She still wakes up some mornings convinced she must be asleep because this is surely a nightmare. She was never meant to be the girl that gets a divorce. They were never meant to end up here. They were meant to be the ones that got the happy ever after. She hates him because he's ruined everything and it's not fair because she doesn't want to still love him but love him she does.

27. Chapter 27

TWENTY SEVEN

Sawyer stares at the sleeping form of her parents entwined. They're still wearing their clothes from the previous day. Her father's hand resting on her mother's waist.

Her eyes have skittered over the documents at the end of the bed several times. Has noted her father's familiar neat signature at the bottom alongside her mother's less uniform scrawl.

She's confused. Confused because she's been witnessing her parents interact recently and their behaviour has slowly become to resemble that of her parents when they're united; the parents she's experienced for the most part of her life. She's conflicted. Conflicted because on the one hand she craves any semblance of normality, but she's also angry. Angry at her father. Angry at him for letting her be so angry and mean to her mother for so long. For lying to her. Angry because she now knows the truth. Knows what he's done. What he's seemingly capable of and she doesn't want that to happen again. Doesn't want to move again. Doesn't want her mother to be as sad as she's been and she's been sure that them remaining separated equals safety. But divorce feels final and divorce is what these papers mean and yet their current spooning forms aren't that of two people that are seeking a divorce.

She hears movement in the hall. Knows her little sister has risen. Knows she's on route here. Quickly backs out of the bedroom and pulls the door quietly to behind her.

'Is Mummy awake?'

'Nope. Not yet. Let's let her sleep in. She's tired after yesterday'

'I'm hungry though'

'Come on I'll find you something' She interlinks her hand with her younger sister's.

'Will you play with me after breakfast?'

'Ok'

Roewyn grins at this large feat. 'X-factor with Kitty cat and Rhona Rino?'

Sawyer regards the two stuffed toys that are tucked under Roewyn's right arm. 'Are Rhona and Kitty cat in love?'

'No. They're best friends right now. That's all. They only just met Saw-yer' Sawyer smirks. 'Can we play X-factor?'

'Ok, ok' Sawyer resigns herself to her sister's game. 'But just until Mum and...' She catches herself and stops herself from saying Dad and alerting the younger sibling to their father's presence. 'Just until Mum get's up'

•••

'Com're. I'll show you that video of Sawyer' He beckons her over to where he's sat. She sits closer than what he knows she normally would be. Has become accustomed to her leaving a gap between them when she knows the girls could walk in at any given moment. He's governed her not being able to do that by not relinquishing control of the phone in his hand. His arm snakes around her as she becomes preoccupied with the footage. She allows herself to lean into him. Smiles at her daughter's progression.

'Wait for it...and jump' His finger jabs the air as the eleven year old's skate leaves the ice for a fraction of a second. 'I know it's not some fancy spin or anything but bloody hell that's like impressive no?'

'Amazing' She smiles and drags her finger along the bottom of the screen to replay the video. Knows that he's watched it a billion times from how he knows the timing of the little movement. 'How is she so fearless?'

'She takes after her Mumma' Peyton sniggers at that. 'You are! She's just as stubborn as you'

'Two different things'

'Sometimes. A lot of the time not. She doesn't give up on anything'

Peyton gazes into his face then. He smiles.

'What're you two doing?'

They both startle at Sawyer's voice.

Peyton leaps upright from where she'd just been slouched against Lucas.

'Daddy was just showing me stuff from your lesson. You're looking so good on the ice baby. I can't believe how amazing you've gotten so quickly'

Sawyer's eyes dance between her two parents.

'I was just showing Mummy your jump' Lucas holds up his phone for proof.

She's not buying it. 'Was barely a jump Dad'

'It's a jump' He argues.

'And it's called a toe loop'

'Right toe loop. I know the technical stuff' He nods with a grin.

'Sure you do' She sassily answers. 'Why're you still here?'

'Mum wanted to see the videos' He shakes the device in his hand again. Wonders why they're both behaving like two naughty children that have been caught with their hands in the cookie jar. Wonders how ridiculous they must appear to the perceptive child before them.

'Roe wants you Mum'

Peyton sighs. 'She's still awake?'

'Uhuh'

'I'll go' Lucas jumps up, eager to see their youngest daughter as he's not seen her once yet today.

Sawyer's eyes watch after him suspiciously.

'What's with the look?' Peyton wonders as they're left alone.

'She asked for you'

'She doesn't know Dad is here. I'm sure he'll will be a happy substitute. He's not seen her today'

'Will you help me with my homework?'

'Now?' Peyton glances at her watch. 'Honey it's getting late'

'It's due tomorrow'

'What?' Peyton's eyes narrow with that information. 'So why're we just talking about it at nearly half 9?'

Sawyer shrugs. 'I've started it. Sort of. It's drawing though and I wanted your help'

'And I've not been here to help at any point?'

Sawyer smiles. 'Mum' Whines. 'I forgot. Please'

Peyton rolls her eyes. 'Come on then. But you owe me an extra long hug' She bargains.

'I can do that'

'5 extra long hugs'

'3'

'4. Final offer'

'Fine. 4'

•••

She watches him for a moment unseen. He's writing. He always did escape here when he had the bug; his hideaway office above Trek. 'Hey'

He looks up. Smiles. 'Oh hey, how'd you know I was here?'

'I'm a witch' She smiles. 'You weren't at the river court' She explains her process of elimination in finding him.

'You coulda just rang and asked' He squints at her.

'I could have' She agrees. 'But why would I do that when I have magical powers?' She wriggles her eyebrows.

'Stop it you know you freak me out'

She looks at him in bemusement. 'Why does the thought of me being a witch freak you out? You'd be so lucky. I wish I could go all bewitched on your ass'

'You already did go bewtiched on my ass actually. Bewitched at 13 and still under your spell'

'Ha ha ha. You're writing?'

'Uhuh' He's got that look in his eye that tells her he's inspired. She smiles. 'What?'

'What're you writing about?' She pries.

He squints at her. 'You know very well I'm not talking about it with you'

She rolls her eyes because she does know. Knows he has to be at least one draft into whatever he's working on before she's deemed even a glimpse. 'When did it come on?'

He laughs. 'You always make it sound like I've got an illness'

'Well the bug has been known to keep you holed up in rooms for days on end. But I'm happy you've caught it nonetheless even if you're not sharing'

'Don't sulk'

'I should go'

'No' He whines. 'Stay-'

'I don't wanna interrupt-'

'You're not. Is everything ok?'

'Uhuh'

'Where're the girls?'

'With B'

'Oh?'

'Yeah she talked me into letting her photograph them for the kid's line'

He frowns then. 'Isn't that something we should talk about?'

'You told me I was overreacting when I said no last year'

'I don't think that's what I said exactly'

'More or less' She disputes.

'Well it still would've been nice to be asked'

She's a little taken aback by his upset. '...sorry. I didn't think you'd care'

'What's that mean? Of course I care. They're my daughters-'

'Our daughters'

'But seemingly they were just yours when you made the call to make them mini models'

'It's a couple of shots to be used in the Tree Hill branch only Luke. You said yes last year and that was a whole catalogue! I said no-'

'I said yes cause I'd seen the clothes they'd be wearing and-'

'And suddenly you don't trust my judgement or Brooke's?!'

'I didn't say that'

'Then what are you saying?' She crosses her arms.

He doesn't know. He's not sure why he's gone from 0 to 10 in five seconds. Because she has got a point. He'd not had any aversion to the idea the previous year and that had been a whole Summer catalogue. '...why're you here?'

'Clearly a mistake' She shakes her head and begins to walk to the exit.

'No wait, I'm sorry ok?' He jumps up from his desk and hurriedly follows her, grabbing her arm before she can escape. 'I'm sorry, of course I trust your judgement I just, I don't like not being included in decisions like that, that's all'

'...and I would've asked you. Of course I would have but after that conversation last year' She shrugs. 'I just thought you'd wouldn't mind. You were so ok with it then. I would've told you about it but she literally asked me an hour ago if they could cause someone else had let her down last minute' She shrugs.

'I'm sorry' He nods.

'I can ring her and get her to stop it-'

'No, no. I really don't mind her using their pictures I just' He shrugs. 'I like making decisions with you'

Her head bobs. 'Ok. I'm sorry I didn't ring you'

'I'm sorry I just overreacted somewhat. Why're you here?' He repeats his earlier question.

'I just thought I, I suddenly had some time and we...' She finds his stare.

'Was this a booty call Peyton Scott?' She begins to shake her head but he knows by the way she's suddenly avoiding his stare that he's hit the nail on the head. 'It was' He grins, hand sliding over her cheek as he tilts her head up.

'...I had some time and-'

'You don't need to explain yourself. I'm here whenever and however you need me'

'You're busy-'

'Never too busy for you' He nuzzles his nose against hers. 'So this thing with the girls doesn't include you playing model again?' He wonders coyly.

'Never happening again' He laughs. 'Don't laugh at me' She whines and turns around, rests her head back against his chest and draws his hands around her. He smiles. Kisses her shoulder. '...Will you come round tonight?'

'Mhmm' He kisses her neck. She pushes her backside back against him then and his hands tighten at her hips. 'How did Roe do on the spelling test?'

'20 out of 20. Thanks to you'

'Us. Did you lock the door?'

'Uhuh'

He smiles into her neck because her answer confirms she definitely came here for this. 'You couldn't wait until tonight?'

'I was bored. Are you complaining?'

'Absolutely not. You're fulfilling so many of my fantasies right now. Did you know that?'

'What fantasies?'

'I've thought about fucking you on this desk countless times'

'Oh?'

He walks her toward said desk. Nose still nuzzling her neck. 'Mhm'

She wants to ask why he hasn't because she's definitely been alone with him in this space on more than a few occasions. She doesn't ask why though. Isn't sure she wants the answer. Thinks she already knows the answer. Thinks he'll say because she'd have said no.

She goes to turn around to face him but his hands tighten. 'No' He hums. 'I want you like this. Ok?'

She's suddenly a little breathless. '...You've suddenly got a table fetish'

He smiles into her neck. 'No. I've just got a want to fuck you in every possible kind of way sort of fetish'

'You have other fantasies?' She's leaning all her weight back on him now, a small smile on her lips as she cranes her head to look at him.

'You know all my fantasies'

'Do I? I feel like they've changed'

His arm around her waist tightens as he reaches round her and shuts his laptop before shifting it onto the chair. 'Why do you think that?'

'You're different'

'Am I?' He thinks if anyone is different it's her. Hell, she'd never have rocked up here for this at this kind of time. Maybe earlier on in their relationship when they were in that ridiculous honeymoon stage. He supposes they have been acting like they're in that honeymoon stage all over again. His hands are back on her. Coast up her svelte waist. His touch firm. She murmurs as his fingers reach her chest, squeeze her left breast. He smirks into her cheek. 'Are you complaining?'

'No'

'Peyton this dress is fucking inappropriate'

She raises her brow. Looks down at herself because she's not wearing underwear and she's suddenly in a panic that the dress is see through and she's been here, there and everywhere in the last hour. She's quick to realise he's deeming it inappropriate because her nipples are prominently showing. She tilts her head to regard him. 'That's your fault'

'My fault?'

'Yes! I'm turned on' She smiles. 'It's weirdly hot out there, this is cool'

'Mmm. I don't want anyone else getting a show thanks'

'Wife must be concealed at all times huh? It's such a double standard when you're allowed to walk around shirtless if you so pleased'

'I don't walk around shirtless'

'But you could and no one would bat an eye'

'You wanna be an exhibitionist?' He laughs because he finds it funny when she goes on one of these rants when he knows she'd never want anyone sans him to see her naked.

'It's not the point'

'No I know. It's so not fair' He murmurs.

'Don't patronise. And you're just conforming to the stereotype by telling me this is inappropriate'

He laughs deep in his throat. 'Would you not care if I strutted down the street naked?'

'I'm not naked! And no. I'd love to see you strut down the street naked' She grins. Giggles.

His right hand has descended low. Cups her hard. It ceases her laughter with a gasp. He smirks. 'Well sweetheart as uncaring as you are to anybody else seeing your husband in all his glory, I on the other hand would rather this all be just mine' He husks in her ear. 'And I think you love that don't you?' Her fingers are in his hair now, her neck fully exposed to him as she arches. 'I didn't realise quite how much me being jealous and possessive get's you all worked up' He whispers. 'I've always worked really hard to hide it when I'm feeling like that because I thought you'd get pissed' He hums.

'I want to be' She admits.

He smiles. Isn't surprised. 'But you're not are you'

'...no'

He abruptly jerks her forward. 'Bend over' He urges her onto the hard surface before her.

She licks her lips as she lowers herself forward, fingers curling around the edge of the desk.

His hand rubs firmly over her backside before he begins to hoist up the fabric of her dress.

He groans loudly when he finds her sans underwear. 'Fucking christ' His hands delve into his hair. 'Really?'

'What? You keep ruining my underwear' She's looking back at him over her shoulder.

'Oh you've got plenty. How long have you been walking around like this?'

'Since I got up'

'Peyton Scott' He pinches her ass cheek hard, drawing a gasp from her. 'You're unbelievable' He berates. 'What if your dress had blown up?'

'No one saw anything. It's not exactly short. Are we gonna have this row again?'

'Maybe' He grumbles but his tone is all jest.

'Well my body, my choice dickhead'

He makes a noise between a growl and a grunt. 'Call me a dickhead all you like. I like being the only one that gets to see this view thanks'

'Brooke has seen me naked thousands of times'

'Not the same'

'Why not?'

'Cause she doesn't want to fuck you baby'

Peyton laughs at that. 'She loves me. I think she could be tempted'

He laughs. 'Well as long as I can watch'

'Why do all guys think that's such a turn on? I so don't wanna watch you making out with another guy thanks'

'No?'

'No'

She twists her head so she's looking forward again and her stare locks on a framed photo of their girls. Grabs it and slides it face down onto the chair atop his laptop.

He laughs at her.

'What?! I can't have them looking at me whilst you fuck me'

He unbuckles his pants then and she bites her lip in anticipation.

He brushes her hair back to one side as he leans over her. 'I am going to fuck you'

She gasps because he's suddenly right there.

His fingers interlace with hers over the edge of the wooden desk. He presses his nose into the back of her neck. Opens his mouth against her skin for a moment before easing himself more upright.

She yelps when he abruptly pushes into her then. He smiles.

'Ok?'

'Mm. Don't stop'

He smirks at that. 'Barely started baby'

'Fucking start'

He doesn't need anymore persuasion. Is urged on by the enticing noises she makes as he moves.

He catches sight of her wedding rings on the desk near her face where the chain around her neck has puddled.

Suddenly moves with more vigour.

The initial relief and delight he'd felt at seeing those rings around her neck has long since abated. Of course he's still over the moon that they've remained there but he wants them back on her finger. Wants them back on her finger now.

A pot of pens topples and clatters to the floor.

She's not oblivious to the shift in his rhythm. His hand is on her back now and she adores everything about how he's holding her down. Doesn't know what's sparked his need to be rough with her but she's not adverse. Not at all. Never. Craves him like this.

It doesn't last long. Can't.

She comes hard and he drowns in the whimpers she's making because sometimes she can be altogether silent when she comes and when he can't see her face it's hard to read her but he can read her just fine when she's making noises. Her release sparks his own a moment later. Sees stars. Closes his eyes as he rocks his head back and basks in it.

When his lashes flutter open a long moment later he becomes aware of the hand is still bawled into the fabric of her dress and pressing down on her. His fingers unfurl. Splay out on her back and rub affectionately whilst the other clumsily brushes the hair that's fallen over her face back to reveal a lazy smile on her lips.

He thinks about taking a picture of her on his phone. Thinks he could get away with such right now. 'Don't think about it'

He smiles because apparently nothing is getting by her. Even now. 'Think about what?'

She hesitates because he's just withdrawn from her. 'Finding your sodding phone' She murmurs.

'Would I dare do such a thing?' His fingers curl around her upper arms as he hoists her up right. She yelps. Blinks as he turns her around. Swallows.

'Hi' She greets.

He takes in her flushed cheeks, the left side is rosier than the other with where it's been pressed into the wood.

He kisses her sweetly. 'You ok?'

'Mmhm' His thumbs rub her cheeks. She smiles. '...I like it when you're like that' She admits.

'Like what?'

'When you hold me down'

'Yeah?' She looks up at him and his smile wanes because her eyes are glassy. 'Hey, what is it?'

'...I think...You said I like it when you're possessive and jealous and I, I think, I think I only like it more now because I, it makes me...'

'What baby?'

'Feel like you want me more, like you can't be without me' she admits.

He frowns. 'I don't want you more now. I've always wanted you this much. I can't be without you' his thumbs draw circles on her cheeks. '...I guess I, there's been times when I've been a bit more rough with you recently, huh?' His words are low. 'I guess unconsciously that might be because I, I've felt, feel like I have no control over what's happening with us' He squints at her. 'It's not about wanting you more now. It's about wanting you back completely' He confesses. 'It's about constantly feeling like I'm a guest in my own family's home. It's about me sneaking around behind the girls so I can be with you. It's about feeling like I'm, I'm walking a tight rope' He drops his forehead to hers. '...I want to be with you all the time' She knows exactly what he's asking. 'It, I get why you've been wanting to do this all so slow. I do. I know I broke that trust and you've needed time. I do.' She swallows. Is mute. He gazes into her eyes. Her stare averts. He sighs. '...What do you want? You want it to be like this from now on? Us sneaking about like we're having an affair?'

'...of course not'

'I don't want us to be a secret anymore, it's getting harder and harder. Like the other night. You shying away from me because Sawyer entered the room. Us being utterly ridiculous in front of her. I don't see how we're doing them any favours at this point. I'm so tired of feeling like I'm not allowed to bloody touch you in front of our children'

Peyton rubs the back of her neck. '...Sawyer has been so angry and confused-'

'Has she said something more to you?'

'No. She did lie to me the other night though when you were upstairs with Roe'

'Lie how?'

'She told me she had homework due the next day that she needed my help with. Which is unlike her right? I saw her planner this morning though. It wasn't due for a week. The way she was looking at you I just, it felt like she was trying to keep me occupied so we couldn't be alone' She confides her suspicions. 'She's said to us both multiple times that she'd prefer us not to be together and her doing that, it just highlighted that I don't think that's changed'

He squints at her. 'I know. I know she's angry at me, of course she is and I'm sure it's also got a bit to do with the move and her feeling unsettled by everything that's gone on. But I also think she'll get over it as soon as she realises you want me back...you do want me back right?'

She presses her lips together. '...not exactly ever let you go over here' She murmurs.

He grins at that. 'No?'

'I might have given it my best shot'

'Mm' He knows. 'How much longer do you want to keep doing this like this?' He's not angry, his tone pleading because he wants to know what she's thinking.

'...I just, I don't want to ever be in that place with you again Luke' she whispers.

'You're not going to be. I'm not gonna hurt you again, I swear, not ever. You think I'd ever do something so stupid when I know it means I'll lose you indefinitely? I know that's what it would mean. All I've ever wanted is you, all I'll ever want is you. I'm not about to risk that again. Never'

'...but it's not just you and I don't think I can promise you that I won't be...that crazy person again that pushed you to do everything you did' Her voice is so small that he strains to hear. '...I mean I never thought that'd happen to me, that I could feel like that, like, like so not me. I don't know what happened and if it, if I'm like that...then you'll, you'll get bored and you'll-'

'I was never bored. I didn't do what I did because I was bored. You know it wasn't that-'

'I do know that rationally but sometimes it feels like I wasn't giving out so you-'

'I was devastated baby. I didn't know how to help you and nothing I did was right and I felt like I'd lost you but now, now everything is different. We've been talking about everything and I think, I'd like to think if you ever had those feelings again you'd be better at communicating what you were feeling and I know I'd be a hell of a lot better at understanding what you're feeling without you telling me anyway. I know what you need and don't need'

'...I know'

'Yeah?'

'I just...God we were never meant to be here. How did we get here? I wish I didn't love you so much sometimes'

'Thanks' He drones sarcastically. 'Don't say that'

She looks up into his face. 'Sorry. I'm just...god I hate that you fucked her!' She crosses her arms and steps away from him. Unfolds her arms. Turns back to face him 'I know it didn't mean anything' wavers her hands in front of herself. 'I do know that. I, I accept that it, it was just sex and I understand, I get it. And I, I know I wasn't there for you. I know I pushed you away and pushed you to it but I'm still' She rubs her arms. She shakes her head. 'I never thought you'd ever, ever do that' She whispers.

He licks his lips. '...I know. I wasn't in a good place though just like you weren't. That's no excuse. I know there's zero excuse but I, the alcohol isn't an excuse either but I wouldn't have gone there if I hadn't been wasted. I'll never, ever do that to you again...' He sighs. 'Baby I know, I know forgiving me is hard and I know you're not there yet. I know you're angry and hurt. Of course you are. I'm angry at me too. You can be angry at me for as long as you need but this' His hand indicates between them. 'Us sneaking about. It's enough now. I need to move home. I get why you've wanted to do this slowly. I really do. But the sooner I move in the sooner Sawyer is gonna get over this whole thing about us being better apart' Peyton rubs the back of her neck.

'We've put them through so much this year. I need them to be happy'

'Of course you do. Us being together results in that! But even if Sawyer kicks up about it it doesn't matter. She'll come round. Our relationship is ours. Ours. Not the girls. They don't govern this. We can't tip toe around them and you can't use them as an excuse to not fully commit yourself to this, us, because you're scared. Don't do that' She's silent. He rubs her back. '...I know you're scared. I know you're mad at me and yourself but me coming home isn't gonna be the end of us working on us. We'll still see Moira and I'm not gonna just come back and try and sweep all this under the rug because I've got what I want. I know this is still a work in progress. Me coming back home feels like the next step though no?'

Her eyes are teary again as she looks up at him. '...ok'

'Ok?'

'...I'll talk to Sawyer about us to begin with' She murmurs after a beat.

'About us?'

'Being back together'

His brow kinks. A slow wide smile draws onto his lips. 'Yeah? To begin with? What follows the beginning?'

'...you moving in'

'Yeah?'

She hesitates. A small smile graces her own face at his expression. '...yes' she laughs at him when his smile seems to get impossibly bigger.

'You can't take that back you know?'

'I'm not going to...I promised forever right?'

He links his hands at her back and jerks her flush against him. 'I need to have you again right now' He lifts her back onto the desk. She smiles. Laughs.

'God we're acting like teenagers' She sniffles. He pulls the straps of her dress down.

'We're making up for lost time' He corrects before kissing her hard.

•••

'Hey jitterbug, you finished your homework?' Peyton sits on her daughter's bed.

The eleven year old closes her laptop and turns around in her chair. 'Just finished'

Peyton smiles. 'Can we talk?'

'About?'

'Me and Dad' Sawyer remains silent. '...why did you lie to me the other night?'

Sawyer frowns. 'I didn't'

'No? Not about when your homework was due? I saw your planner this morning'

Sawyer shrugs. 'I must've got the day mixed up'

Peyton squints at her. '...yeah?...it's not cause you wanted me to be with you so I couldn't be alone with Dad?'

'You don't need to be alone with Dad. When're you officially getting a divorce? Why haven't you handed in the papers yet when you've both signed them?'

Peyton's brow shoots up. '...have you been going through my things?'

'No'

'Well how do you know that-'

'I saw you together the day after Christmas. He stayed over. You were in bed together and the papers were on the end of the bed'

'Honey-'

'You should hand in the papers Mum'

'Sawyer-'

'I don't want you to get back together'

'What?' Peyton tries her best at being nonchalant.

'You're acting like you're both gonna get back together. He stayed over at Christmas and then you were cuddling the next morning and you were sitting like you use to when he was showing you that video of me the other night. He had his arm around you' Sawyer looks at her dubiously. 'You shouldn't get back with him' She reiterates. Peyton regards her daughter carefully. 'What if he does it again? I love Dad but you deserve better'

'Honey. You don't need to worry about me. Ok?'

'Roe needs stability. We both need stability'

Peyton's eyebrow kinks because her daughter sounds beyond her years. 'Has someone said that to you?'

'...I might have heard Aunt Haley telling Uncle Nate that'

Peyton can't help rolling her eyes. 'Right' Knows that her daughter didn't hear the whole of her aunt and uncle's conversation because she doesn't have any doubts that their conversation would've been in support of Lucas moving home. 'Well I agree. Me and Daddy have been working really hard to give you that. I know this last year has been so difficult and things have felt scary and I know you're feeling more settled now in this house-'

'Exactly. I don't want to move again Mum!'

'I'm not planning on moving again anytime soon either honey'

'But you might have to if-'

'No. We won't. The move was about money baby and that's all solved now'

'I don't want Dad to make you sad. He made you unhappy'

'No' Peyton disagrees. 'Dad didn't make me sad'

'Yeah cause you were just oh so happy that he cheated on you'

'Ok miss sarcastic' Peyton intervenes. 'Come here baby' She beckons the eleven year old over to the bed. Sawyer rises from her chair and stomps over to the bed and huffs as she sits down beside her mother. 'I'm upset about that, yes. But baby I, me and Dad weren't getting along before that. For a long time. I think you probably saw that right?'

'...mmm'

'Me and Dad went through a lot and we both found it really hard losing Finley' Peyton tucks a curl behind Sawyer's ear.

'...I know Mum'

Peyton sighs. 'You do?' Her eyes well with her daughter's confession.

'I'm not a little kid like Roe. You've been different'

'I'm so sorry honey'

'It's ok'

'It's not ok jitterbug. I, I shoulda talked to you about it more I just, I didn't know I wasn't being normal for you' She murmurs. 'I love you so, so much'

'I know'

'And I loved your little brother so, so much too'

'I know...do you think he woulda been like me?'

Peyton presses her lips together. 'Mhm. I know so. I think he would've looked up to you so much and you would've looked after him so well just like you look out for Roe'

'Roe is annoying'

Peyton smiles. 'You two have been getting on so much better later'

'I guess. She always has to be doing what I'm doing'

'It's cause she loves you so much. She's your number one fan'

'...I guess'

'...so you see it, it's not all Daddy's fault. He's made some bad choices yes but' Peyton takes her hands. '...I've not been the easiest to be around in so many ways and I've made bad choices too. He found it so, so difficult losing Finley too and we just, I think we both needed different things and weren't very good at communicating with each other. I wasn't really there for Dad and he needed me and that's not ok either. Then he made some really stupid choices but even grownups make mistakes sometimes'

'So you've forgiven him just like that?'

'Not just like that. I've been very angry and confused baby. We've been concentrating on trying to talk through all our problems and we've still got a lot more to talk about but I love Daddy-'

'You can't get back together' Sawyer's almost stern announcement has Peyton squinting at her.

'Don't talk to me like that-'

'Don't you care what I want?!'

'Of course I care but you also don't get to make that kind of decision for me and Daddy'

'You clearly wanted a divorce before'

'Well-'

'Because you know it's the right thing to do and now he's talked you out of it but Mum-'

'Ok enough. Look, Dad hasn't talked me out of anything. We've just been having a lot of counselling to talk through a lot of our grief and problems and it's, it's helped so, so much. I know you're scared about things falling apart and baby I get it. I get it completely. That's why I haven't talked to you about any of this yet because I only wanted to talk to you and Roe when I was one hundred percent sure-'

'You wanted a divorce! You clearly aren't sure about anything. You both signed the papers!'

Peyton hesitates. Stares at her daughter. And the answer is suddenly the most obvious in the world. 'I am sure' She answers. 'I've been confused yes. Because I've been angry at Daddy and also myself but I love Daddy. It's sometimes hard to see things clearly when you're so upset and angry and feeling lots of different things at once. That's why it's so important for us to all try and talk about how we're feeling and we've got a lot more things we want to talk about but-'

'Whatever' Sawyer jumps up then.

'Sawyer-'

'I don't want to talk about it anymore today-'

'It's ok that you're angry-'

'I'm not angry. I'm tired and I want to go to bed'

'You can talk to-'

'I don't want to talk anymore today' Sawyer reiterates.

Peyton sighs. '...ok. No more today. I love you though honey. So, so much'

•••

'Mum said I could!'

'Do not lie to me' Lucas berates.

'I'm not!' He gives the eleven year old a wane look because he knows that she's most definitely lying given that he knows his wife would never agree to what she wants to do right now. 'Why're you even here right now?!'

His eyes narrow. 'I'm here because I'm your Dad-'

'So?! It's not your house! Even Roe thinks you're being unfair and she's 7!' Sawyer screams.

'So unfair!' Roewyn chimes in on the dispute that's unfolding.

'Roewyn' Lucas frowns at his younger daughter. 'This has got nothing to do with you. Go upstairs please' The seven year old doesn't budge.

'All my friends are going' Sawyer claims.

'I'm sorry honey but not this time. 10.30 is too late not to mention it's a school night. You're 11-'

'We're gonna be sat in a seat watching a movie. What do you think is gonna happen?'

'Yeah' Roewyn pipes up again.

'Roe!' Lucas snaps. 'Upstairs. Now' The younger Scott ambles towards the staircase.

'I'm not a little kid anymore. It's not like we're gonna walk back. Samantha's Mum is getting us-'

'I've never even heard you mention a Samantha. I've told you you can go on the weekend instead in the afternoon-'

'Mum!' Sawyer stomps her foot and calls upon the help of her mother.

'She's on the phone and she's not going to have a different answer for you'

'She's not ridiculous like you!'

'So ridiculous' Roewyn echoes.

'Roewyn' Lucas wearily exhales. 'Not going to ask you again. Upstairs'

'I am up the stairs' She cleverly retorts because she's made it halfway and is perched on a step.

'All the way up the stairs and into your bedroom. Now' He's more specific.

'Don't worry Roe, I'll go to my room instead' Sawyer huffs as she ascends the stairs and steps over her sister.

'Sawyer!' Lucas follows and Roewyn is soon in pursuit. 'Roe go downstairs'

'Upstairs, downstairs. Make your mind up!' Roewyn chirps.

'Roewyn' Lucas squints at her. 'Are you trying to give me a headache? I'm trying to talk to your sister'

'Alright, alright. We know when we're not wanted don't we kitty cat?' She actually does as she's told this time and traipses back down the staircase. Lucas walks down the hall toward the door that was just slammed and enters Sawyer's room. 'Can you not slam the doors please'

'Not your house. You don't get to tell me what to do'

'Yes I do actually' He sighs. 'Sawyer' He sits down on her bed where she's laying. 'Sweetheart come on. I'm hardly being unreasonable here. I said you can go just not tonight and not at 10pm' He touches her and she shies away, curling further toward the wall. 'Mummy said she talked to you. Is this what this is about really? You just lied to me down there. Is that you trying to cause an argument between me and Mum?' He knows her tactics. Isn't oblivious to the child's endeavours to play them off against each other over the last week.

'You always think everything is about you' She grumbles.

He rolls his eyes at her snarky comment. 'No. I just know my daughter has been struggling over the last year because of all the changes thanks to her Mum and Dad. Well mostly Dad'

'You're not moving in with us. Mum wanted a divorce and you can't make her do anything'

He can't help but smile because her tone is that of his wife's and despite wanting to mend the damage he's done here he's also in love with how much like her mother she is. 'I've never made her do anything Sawyer-'

'You've told her plenty of times you're not getting a divorce'

'Well yes' He concedes. 'Firstly those are conversations we shouldn't have had in earshot of you and you're right. However I believe in mine and Mummy's marriage and sometimes that means fighting for it and trying to mend things and-'

'I like things how they are. You signed the papers anyway so you clearly don't care. I saw them!'

'Right well that's not why I signed them. I signed them because I wanted Mummy to feel like she had the choice. When I gave her those I also told her that regardless of what she does with them I'm not giving up on us' Sawyer rolls onto her back and he notes the tears in her eyes.

He squints at her. 'You wanted me to come home so badly before-'

'Well I like how things are now!'

'Why though? You and me have been getting along and-'

'...I like it when you don't fight'

'We're not gonna fight'

'If you get back together you're gonna have another baby!' She blurts then. He startles. 'Mum could die! And if she doesn't she's g-going t-to b-be so s-sad a-again if th-the baby dies and we, she, she's only j-just being m-more n-normal'

His heart aches. He's not been oblivious to the affects their losses have had on their children, on Sawyer in particular but her words highlight how negatively she's been impacted. He draws her into his arms. Rubs her back. Her compliance doesn't last long. 'Sweetheart' He protests as she fights out of his embrace.

'No I hate you'

'I'm so sorry jitterbug. I know things have been awful. I know Mummy has been really sad and I know I made everything worse-'

'I don't care. I like it how it is right now. You and Mum are friends and we see you both all the time-'

'Me and Mummy have never just been friends though' He softly interjects. 'I wished you told me you were worrying about us having another baby'

'You have me and you have Roewyn. You don't need anymore'

'No we don't. You're both perfect. But us wanting another baby, that, that doesn't mean we love you any less-'

'I'm not five! I know that. If you come home do you promise you won't have another baby?' She bargains.

He blinks. '...I, I can't promise that' He hoarsely answers. 'Me and mummy are concentrating on rebuilding trust and talking through our problems right now. Having a baby isn't something we're in a place to even talk about but I can't promise you that we'll never-'

'Go away'

He sighs. 'Sawyer-'

'Go. Away'

•••

'You going for a week?' He teases as he eyes up the array of bags on the doorstep that are ready to be piled into the car.

'Ha ha' She glares at him.

'Seriously. It's a day at the beach'

'Uhuh. It's just essentials'

He holds up the stack of bubble wands. 'Essential?'

'Lydie will love doing that. Thank me when she's having a melt down later and I save the day'

He laughs. 'You want me to start loading?'

'Mm. That'd be good'

'Where're the girls?'

'Being really helpful and jumping on the trampoline'

'I'll go tell them to help in a sec'

'I told B we'd get her at half past'

'Ha that's likely' He comments as he glances at his watch.

'What's the time?'

'25 past'

'Shit'

He smirks. 'Come're' He draws her into him.

'I don't have time for this Luke'

'Sure you do' He kisses her. 'There's always time for this'

She smiles despite her irritation but it soon diminishes when she pulls away and notes they have a bystander.

'...I...you two are...' Karen doesn't know if to laugh or cry. Laugh because she's over the moon or cry because she's not daft, she's a mother after all, a mother that knows this isn't a simple reconciliation because for whatever reason they've not been open about this development in their fragmented relationship.

'...it's...we...' Peyton's flustered.

'You're making a go of things?'

Lucas is quick to answer with a firm yes. Karen's eyes swivel to Peyton. She opens and closes her mouth.

'Right. That answers that' Karen nods slowly because they're clearly not on the same page, at least that's what she takes from their response. 'Whatever this is don't you think you shouldn't be kissing on our front porch whilst your girls could peer out the window at any given moment' They both look like two naughty school children. 'You two being together is all I want. All I want. All I've been hoping for months. And I don't want to tell you what to do but if they see you together they need to know it's for good-'

'It is for good' Lucas interjects.

'Ok. Well why is it a secret then?'

'We've just been figuring things out. We don't want the whole world interfering right now' Lucas answers.

'Right...' Karen nods slowly. Blinks. Composes herself. 'I'll go hurry the girls up'

'...you didn't answer' He hums after a beat once they're alone.

'I, I don't know why. It's just, it's been a secret hasn't it? She startled me'

'Yes' He stares at her dubiously. 'Are you having second thoughts because-'

'Of course not' She interrupts because he's getting angry and he really needn't. 'We're on the same page ok? She just took me by surprise! If I wasn't on board I wouldn't have spoken to Sawyer would I? I just panicked' Her eyes narrow. 'Did you know she was there?' She's frowning now.

'No! I thought we were gonna pick her up from the cafe on the way but she must've finished earlier than planned' She regards him suspiciously. 'Don't look at me like that. Why do you think I'm constantly trying to manipulate you?!'

'I don't but I know you're feeling impatient right now-'

'And you think I'm that much of an idiot that I think I can just get what I want by gaslighting you?!'

She scrapes her hand through her hair. '...I don't wanna argue'

He sighs. 'Well nor do I but Peyton come on, I need you to meet me half way here' Her eyes narrow. 'Don't give me that look. I've been doing this all your way-'

'I agreed for you to move in didn't I? That's not me being on board? Or doing what you want?'

'So you don't want me to move in really?'

'Did I just say that?!'

'I want it to be what you want too!'

'It is! I'm just worried about Sawyer. That's all. The divorce papers seem to have made her think that this can't be real because why would we sign them otherwise'

'And that's why you've been shutting down any talk of a moving in date over the last week' He assumes.

'I just don't want her to feel like we don't care about her opinion-'

'She more or less told me last night that she'd be ok with me moving in if I promised we wouldn't have another baby'

Peyton's eyes widen because this is new information. '...what?'

'Yeah'

'Why didn't you tell me that?'

'Maybe because I didn't want it to be a reason for you to back out of me moving in! Look this is hardly the time for us to be having this talk when we're about to go on a beach day with the family'

Peyton's mind is racing. 'Did you agree?'

'What?'

'Did you tell her we wouldn't?'

'No. Of course not'

'Why not?'

He squints at her. 'Ok. We can't have this chat right now can we? Let's just, just call pause ok? We'll talk about it tonight'

•••

She's cutting up a cake on top of the make shift cool box table when Karen quietly appears beside her. 'You need a hand honey?'

Peyton jumps. 'God you're just like your freaking son sneaking up on me'

Karen smiles at that. 'He did get his ninja abilities from me'

Peyton smiles. 'You can pretend you're offering to help all you like. I know your game' She quietly hums.

'Oh? Whatever do you mean honey?'

Peyton glances up and checks they've not got any unwanted bystanders to their conversation. Everyone is currently preoccupied in a game of rounders.

'Come on hit me with it'

'Hit you with it' Karen laughs. 'What do you think I'm going to say to you right now?'

'Well I didn't get the feeling you were exactly pleased-'

'Surprised. I was more than surprised' Karen corrects. 'And just to be abundantly clear all I want is for you two to sort things out between you. All I want is for you to be together. You didn't exactly seem to echo what Luke was saying though'

Peyton stops fiddling with the cake and regards her mother-in-law. 'I didn't expect to see you stood there'

'No. I know and I know it's been really complicated and that you must be so confused and-'

'I'm not confused' Peyton cuts in. 'At least for the first time in a long time I don't think I am. I can't say I'm not still angry about a lot of things. I'm definitely not completely over everything but I do echo what he said earlier'

'Yeah?'

'...I love him. I've tried really, really hard to, to not' Her voice wavers. 'He did some really stupid things. Some of which I'm still raging about' Peyton widens her eyes and smiles. 'But I've been horrendous to be around-'

'Honey-'

'No I have Karen' Peyton halts what she knows is going to be a disagreement. 'You didn't see what I was like with him. I know I've been an all round mess for all of you but he, he got the brunt of a lot of my anger and I hate that so much. Hate so much how I was so not me. We didn't end up here just because of him and I, I...' Her eyes trail to the man in question. '...well as much as he is a dickhead he's also the best person in the world' She softly utters. '...not that I need to tell you that' Karen smiles. Drapes her hand around her daughter-in-law. Says nothing. Peyton tilts her head to regard the older woman after a beat. Notes the tear racing down her cheek. Turns to embrace her. 'I'm so sorry'

'Don't you be sorry. These are happy tears honey'

'We've put you through so much though-'

'No. None of that. You've both been given an awful hand of cards. I'm just so relieved that you're both trying to mend it. I know he screwed up massively but he loves you so much-'

'I know. I hope you know I love him too'

'Of course I know' Karen cups her cheeks then. 'You've always been it for him sweetheart and you're the only daughter-in-law I want'

'Well good cause you're the only mother-in-law I want'

•••

He saddles up behind her. Slides his hand around her waist. Tightens when she makes a break for it.

'Don't' He murmurs in her ear. 'Let me hold you a sec'

'Everyone is over there. Get off'

'Uhuh. Over there isn't over here right now. No one can see and we could actually tell them today whilst everyone is together. Now Mum knows-'

'Luke-'

'Just be quiet'

'Oh ok, sure' She mumbles sarcastically.

'So grumpy' She breaks free this time and glares at him as she turns to face him. He sighs. 'Come on-'

'Sawyer is barely talking to us right now. You being all over me-'

'Is something she needs to get use to seeing again' His eyes narrow, his irritation getting the better of him. 'She does not get a say in this' He reiterates. 'Why did you ask me why I didn't say yes to her earlier?' It's been playing on his mind all afternoon.

'What?'

'When it comes to having a baby. You said why didn't I just say yes. Like it's a given that I should've assured her we'd never have another'

She swallows. 'We said we'd talk tonight'

'...yeah I know. I just can't stop thinking about it. We're not telling her that'

'Why not? I can't do it again. Not when nothing is guaranteed' She shakes her head. 'I won't do that to you or the girls'

'Peyton-'

'That's how I feel-'

'I don't think it is. I think you're scared of saying what you really feel' Her nostrils flare. 'Baby I know you still want another. You're allowed to want that even though it's terrifying'

She doesn't agree or correct him. '...how do you feel?'

'What?'

'Are you telling me you want another baby right now?'

'Not right now. No. But when we're settled and we're completely back on track...' He licks his lips. '...I want to give you what you want-'

'But it's not what you want!' She argues. 'Why can't you say that. I know you've always gone along-'

'I've not gone along with it. God baby-'

'There was a time when you woulda quit trying and then you went to the polar extreme of trying to give me another when-'

'It's always been what I want too. Always. Of course it has it just also kills me watching you be put through that again and again!-'

'We both went through it'

'Yes. Yes of course but it's your body that goes through it all'

'I don't know why we're talking about this right now' She shakes her head. 'Can we just, just not do this right now, here'

'Ok...ok. Just tell me you're not changing your mind about us'

'I'm not changing my mind!'

'You don't even want our family to know though-'

'That's not true. I was literally just talking to your Mum about how I did agree with what you said earlier. I just want us to sit down with Sawyer and talk about us some more first! Not announce to everyone that we're getting back together and have it appear as though we're not taking her feelings into account-'

'And what if she continues not being on board? Are you gonna suddenly go back on your word and insist I don't move in?'

'No-'

'Because I'm moving in' Her brow kinks at his stern delivery. He sighs. '...I'm just, I just, I want to hug you and hold you and not feel as though I'm not allowed when anyone else is around'

Her stare softens. 'I think you've been getting your quota of touching honey' She teases.

'You know I'm not talking about sex. Can we just agree that we'll talk to Sawyer together tomorrow and however she reacts I'll move in'

'Ok'

'Ok?'

'Yes'

'Why're you agreeing?'

'You don't want me to agree?'

'It feels like a foreign concept'

'Ha ha ha' She drawls. 'I know you've been convincing yourself all week that I'm doing a 180 but I'm not. I'm really, really not' She gazes at him. 'So chill will you'

'I'm chill'

'Mhm. So chill'

'Mummy come on!' Peyton's eyes skitter towards the rocks where she'd been on route to before he'd intercepted her. 'I promised I'd look in the rock pools with them' She walks backwards, her hands holding the material of the long maxi dress she's donning 'I believe you just promised Lydie a moat for her sandcastle' She smiles. 'I expect to see a masterpiece when I return'

•••

'What do you think? Shall we make it a bit deeper and then go get some water?' Lucas assesses their castle.

'Deeper' Lydia agrees.

'Luke I think Sawyer is shouting for you' Karen is on her feet, her hand shielding the sun from her eyes as she tries to make out her granddaughter. She'd been watching them from afar until they'd disappeared with Brooke and Peyton out of sight.

He hears her shriek for himself this time.

'Dad!' It shivers through him. She's in the distance but she's getting closer with every passing second. He digs the spade in hand into the sand and slowly rises to his feet.

She's not been speaking to him properly all day after their conversation the previous evening. She's stubborn like her mother. He knows her manic cry means there's something seriously wrong. Knows there's no other reason for her to be ending her reign of attitude with him right now.

'Dad!' She's running and his feet start moving then; abandons his niece and their castle. Propels through the sand to reach her. It doesn't take him long to close the gap between them.

'What's happened?'

'Mum and Roe' Her voice is ragged from sprinting up the beach. 'We were looking in the rock pools and then Roe climbed over this bit where Mum said not to-'

'Sawyer I don't need the whole story-'

'A wave knocked her in and she, she was there and then she was gone! And Mum tried to grab her-and' Sawyer is still babbling, her hands wavering animatedly. 'Brooke said to get you'

'Where?' He cuts in.

She points. He can make out Brooke further up the beach and hastily makes for her. As he gets nearer it's apparent she's waded out to her knees, her phone pressed to her ear. Her expression frantic and in all of an instant the seriousness of the situation washes over him because he's been quick to establish that she's trying to get help.

He's located Peyton now. She's in the uncharacteristically rough waters and a lot further out than they usually venture. He can see her struggling to keep their youngest daughter's head above water as she tries to fight her way back to the shore. Sees her head keep dipping out of sight.

With little thought he pulls his t-shirt off over his head. Sawyer has caught up with him now. 'Get Nathan!' He instructs. She doesn't need to be told twice. Scarpers back in the direction she just came as he all but catapults into the water. It's cold but he strangely can't feel it.

He's vaguely aware of Brooke speaking to him but he can't hear anything. He knows she's working on getting help to them and he knows that his wife and child are in danger. He doesn't need to know anything else.

He's never moved so fast. His arms pummelling through the water as he fights the choppy waves. It feels like an eternity. In reality it's not. The tide is on his side and he knows that means getting back to the beach is going to be all the harder.

'Daddy!'

He grabs at his panicked daughter as soon as they're within reach, giving Peyton a much in need reprieve.

'I've got you Roe. Stop crying. You need to breathe' He tries not to focus on their daughter's evident distress, his voice both firm and calm because he needs her to be brave right now and do everything she can not to swallow anymore water. 'Peyton'

'I'm..ok' Are the first words Peyton splutters at him as she tries to get air into her starved lungs. He's not convinced she is ok though. Knows in her efforts to keep their daughter above water she's been half drowning herself. Knows the sodden fabric of her dress is making swimming even harder. 'Take her'

'Can you get your dress off?'

'Bow is knotted'

'Let me try-'

'Just get her out Luke'

'Hold onto me'

'No. Go. I'm fine. I can swim'

'Peyton-'

'Lucas. Go'

His hand latches under Roewyn's little chin and urges her head to his chest in an effort to ensure her head remains above water and he wastes no more time in trying to get back to shore because he needs them all back on dry land. Now. 'Kick your legs Roe' He hums, his voice still that of calm despite the tornado of panic thrumming through him. The current is strong. He's kicking back but Peyton isn't making the same headway that he is. 'Swim Peyton' He growls. He knows she needs help. She's tired. He didn't see what happened but he knows she's scared. Knows it's completely winded her. Her expression is feral though. He can read her mind even from here. Knows her thoughts are on that of her daughter and daughter alone.

She sees uncertainty flitter over his features as the space between them gets bigger. Sees the moment he weighs up trying to return to her and help her too.

'Get her out' Her voice is croaky and shrill all at once and refocuses him because logically he knows the best shot he has of helping his wife is by helping their little girl first. He can't afford to be stupid when all of their lives are on the line.

He doesn't need to be told twice. Adrenaline pumps through him.

He's never been more relieved to see Nathan approaching as he reaches the shore. 'Help Peyton' He knows his brother is already on route to do so. Knows it makes more sense given he'll be less tired. He concentrates on Roewyn. Staggers a few steps further up the beach before dropping to his knees. He's out of breath. 'Look at me' He pants and cups his daughter's face. Her teeth are chattering. She'd insisted on only wearing her costume since they'd arrived at the beach, something he's beyond thankful for. 'Are you ok?'

'D-Daddy' Is all she whimpers.

He's trying to assess if her shaky breathing is just upset.

'I need you to try and stop crying for me. Ok?' He briefly inspects her grazed leg. Blood is trickling down her thigh but he doesn't draw attention to it. Doesn't want her to freak out and he knows it's nothing to be worried about.

'M-mummy'

'Mummy is ok. She's coming. Uncle Nate is getting her. Breathe for me. Nice big breaths' His eyes skitter back to the water, relieved to see his brother has made it to Peyton. Roewyn calms a little under his coaxing. Her breaths exaggerated as she inhales and exhales. 'Good girl, that's it' He breathes with her.

'I f-fell'

'I know baby. It's ok. Did you swallow lots of water?'

'I don't th-think so. I w-was sc-cared'

'I know. I know. It's all over now ok? You're ok. Daddy's got you' He soothes as he draws her into his chest and rubs her back. Brooke and Nathan are helping Peyton stagger from the rough waters now and he feels the knot in his stomach ease a fraction.

Karen, Haley and Jamie have appeared from where they'd set up camp for the day with towels, Lydia trailing behind them. Karen sinks to the ground beside them and drapes one of the towels around her granddaughter. 'Here we go my brave girl'

'You kay now Roe Roe Boat?' Lydia chants her concern, her head tilted as she peers into her cousin's face.

Roewyn takes a shakey breath and nods.

Lucas hear's his older daughter's frantic voice then. 'Mum!' His eyes jolt back in the direction of where he'd just seen his wife being helped from the waters and his calmness at them all being back on dry land is gone because she's sprawled out on the sand and doesn't appear to be responding to Nathan or Brooke.

'Take her' He all but pushes Roewyn into his Karen's lap as he stumbles to his feet and lurches the few meters towards his wife. 'What happened?' He feels like he just blinked and the scene before him changed dramatically.

'She just collapsed' Brooke mutters as she watches Nathan in shock.

'She's not breathing' He's assessed in the last few seconds and wastes no time in beginning to draw on his first aid training.

Brooke's hand snakes around Sawyer protectively. The eleven year old wants to tell her Uncle to stop because he suddenly looks like he's killing her. Her mother's body is so small and she's not sure how she can handle the force of his hands coming down on her in the way they are.

Lucas drops to his knees. Forty minutes ago he'd been talking to her; it had been an ordinary family day out. She'd been standing what felt like a second ago. His hands go into his hair as he watches Nathan perform CPR. His face is masked of any emotion. He's been trained in this several times given his sporting background.

'Open your eyes' Lucas barks desperately when his brother's efforts don't appear to be rousing her.

Sawyer watches on in horror. The voice in her head telling her everything is going to be ok is gone because her father is scared. She's never seen her father scared.

Her uncle's muttered counting comes to the end of it's circuit and he stops giving her compressions. He pinches her mother's nostrils, his other hand on her chin. His mouth covers hers as he pumps yet more rescue breaths into her body. Her chest rises.

He's repeated this cycle three times now to no avail. Sawyer anticipates his ear tilting to her mother's lips. Hopes he'll say she's breathing now like she's hoped every other time. It doesn't come. He breathes into her mouth a second time.

'Is anyone fucking coming?' Nathan knows their time is fleeting and even though it's been mere moments it feels like time is passing oh so slowly.

'The lifeguards said they were coming and an ambulance has been called' Brooke murmurs.

'They're nearly here' Haley calls out from where she's remained. She can't watch what's going on and has instead taken it upon herself to ensure the arrival of the people that are trying to help them. Her eyes have been focused on the North side of the beach where the lifeguard deck is situated. A buggy car is launching toward them.

'Don't stop' Lucas growls because his brother's lapsed counting is making him nervous despite the almost violent compressions still being performed.

'I'm not. Back up' Nathan seeks out his brothers stare.

'She's gonna be ok right?'

'I'm not stopping' Is the only promise Nathan makes. Adrenaline is pumping through him. Nothing is happening and the fear in his belly is unfurling because his hope is dwindling.

The arrival of three lifeguards has Nathan's hope renewing because they've got equipment that he doesn't.

'How long has she been gone for?' They waste no time in setting up around the unresponsive blonde.

Lucas edges back a little to give them more space.

'Three minutes' Nathan answers quickly and eagerly lets them take over. His emotion shows as soon as he's passed the baton over because this is his sister-in-law. His friend. And he's more than worried and Lucas wants back the brother that had been focused from just mere seconds ago because that man was giving him hope that this was going to be ok.

Sawyer watches on in horror as her Mother's soaked halter dress that's twisted around her is cut off her body, her bikini top quickly following. The chain around her neck with her wedding rings is also yanked off. Sawyer's nostrils flare and the lump in her throat is hard to contain because despite knowing they'e trying to help it feels like her mother is under attack.

Two sticky pads are fixed to Peyton's exposed chest then. One high up the other lower. Her head has been tilted back. A resuscitation mask is placed over her mouth. One of the lifeguards is squeezing the bag valve attached.

'Right Defib ready' One of the lifeguards announces. 'You need to let go of her for a minute. No one can touch her when we do this' Lucas is being addressed and releases her limp hand. Nathan's fingers settle on his brothers shoulder as they watch on.

'Analysing. Analysing' The defibrillator chimes in a robotic voice.

'It's ok baby' Brooke coos to the trembling child that's clinging onto her. 'They, they just need to shock her' Brooke's hand grips her god daughter's. 'It's alright. She's gonna be alright' She ushers Sawyer's face into her side.

'Is she dead?' She whispers. She's sure she is and her panic only escalates as her mother's body seizes up off the ground 'Mum' She breaks free from Brooke's arms. 'Stop it! you're hurting her! Stop it!'

Lucas catapults himself at her before she makes contact with Peyton. His hand slides around her waist and hauls her back. 'You can't touch her!' He barks.

'They're killing her!' He drags her further back.

'Take her' Brooke grabs for the eleven year old's hand and pulls her down to the ground. 'No-'

'Shhh, they're just helping her baby. I promise they're helping her'

She does know that. She knows what CPR is. She's seen on tv. They've learnt about it at school but it's not working and she needs it to work. But they can't be doing it right because it's not working. She lets Brooke cradle her against her chest, watches over her arm. 'Why won't she wake up?!'

None of the adults answer. Wait with baited breath as the blonde is shocked again. They watch one of the professionals press their fingers to her wrist.

'...We've got a pulse' He announces. Another resumes using the resuscitation mask then.

'She's ok?' Lucas begs.

'We've got her back. We're just breathing her up' He nods confidently at Lucas 'We've got her man, we've got her'

Lucas stares unblinking as he watches them continue to pump breaths into her. He wants to seek out her pulse for himself because she doesn't seem anymore alive now than she had moments ago.

'Right let's get her on her side and see if we can get her to throw up' They shift her into a recovery position and seconds later sure enough she starts to choke up water and only then do the circle of silent bystanders seem to breathe properly themselves.

'Breathe baby. Breathe. Breathe' Lucas begs. Despite vomiting she doesn't seem to be fully conscious. Her eyes flicker. 'She's gonna be alright right?'

'She's breathing. The ambulance won't be able to get down here. We're gonna get her on a stretcher in a sec and get her up to them'

'Right' Lucas nods. 'Can, can I come? And my seven year old. She was out there too. I want her looked at?' His eyes flit to Roewyn, suddenly panicked about her wellbeing but she's still conscious and alert and being distracted by Karen and Haley from what's been going on.

His hands delve back into his hair. He suddenly can't hear the lifeguard that's answering him. Shock has him staring blankly at Peyton. He doesn't see Brooke lead said lifeguard over to Roewyn. Doesn't hear Nathan telling him it's all gonna be ok. Doesn't hear him telling him they'll take Sawyer and follow behind and meet them at the hospital. Can't hear anything. He's willing her eyes to open. Just needs her eyes to open. Needs her to look at him. Only when she looks at him will he be able to truly believe she's ok. She has to be ok. His thoughts are haphazard at best. Wake up. Please wake up. Be ok. You have to be ok. You can't leave me. Don't leave. Don't leave me.

•••

He leaps up as the Doctor comes in the room. She smiles. He's familiar with that smile. He hates that smile. He'd been given a lot of said smiles when he'd last been in this hospital. The I'm so sorry that you're going through this smile. He can't quite believe he's back here. Albeit the circumstances are different they're not in that his wife's life seems to be on the line yet again.

'Is it really normal that she's barely woken up?' He enquires because he's beyond anxious for her to regain consciousness. Anxious to hear her speak. There'd been a brief moment in the ambulance when she'd blearily looked at him but she'd not been there. Not completely and despite all the Doctor's reassurances he's not been able to relax. Won't until she's fully with him.

'Her body was put through quite a trauma today. She's exhausted and quit dehydrated after throwing up so much' The Doctor softly reiterates what she had just twenty minutes ago. 'This IV is nearly done. It'll kick in and get her feeling better soon enough. Try not to worry. She's going to be just fine Mr Scott'

'Right. Yes' His head bobs. His gaze returns to his sleeping wife.

'We have run some blood work that I wanted to talk to you about...'

His eyes skitter back up to the Doctor who's now standing on the opposite side of the bed. She's flips through the chart in her hands, eyes scanning the information. 'You just said everything is ok. Everything's ok right?'

'Everything is ok' She looks back up at him then. Hesitates. His brow furrows. 'I'm assuming as you've not mentioned this that you aren't exactly aware however'

'Aware of what?'

She sees panic begin to flare in his eyes and is quick to put him out of his misery. 'Your wife is pregnant Mr Scott'

His mouth opens. No words come out for a long minute. '...Wait. What?'

'Her blood work came back and her hCG levels indicate that she's pregnant' He swallows. She watches him, tries to gauge his reaction. '...were you and your wife trying?'

'Er...' He rubs the back of his neck. '...we were a while ago, I mean a good while ago, it, we had trouble with conceiving naturally and well, we've had a several miscarriages and it, it didn't happen and then it did after IVF and then we, we lost a baby at nearly full term and...' He trails off.

'I'm so sorry to hear that. It has happened now though' The Doctor smiles gently. 'Congratulations'

He squints down at Peyton. Still doesn't believe what he's hearing. 'Are...wait are you sure?'

'I'm sure. I do want to run some checks however what with everything that's gone on today'

His stare jerks back up to the Doctor. 'Right, right' He nods. 'Is, will, is...will what happened have harmed... is she likely to miscarry?' He wants to be prepared. His stomach is in knots because she can't wake up and be given such news and then have it ripped away.

'We don't have any information right now. Try not to worry. I know that's easier said than done right now but the best thing you can do for yourself, for Peyton and for this baby is to try not to stress'

•••

'Luke' She croaks.

He startles, his stare jerking up from her fingers that are clasped in his hands. 'I'm here, I'm here' He nods and reaches out for the little button beside her head to alert the Doctors of her consciousness.

She blinks.

'It's ok. You're ok. We're at the hospital. The Doctor is coming ok?'

'Roewyn' Her eyes are panicked.

'She's fine. She's fine baby. She's here too, the paramedics wanted the Doctors to check her over. They're just keeping her under observation for the next few hours but she's completely fine' He watches relief wash over her.

'You...be with her'

'No, she's fine' He shakes his head because there's no way he's leaving this room right now when he's been already checked in on said daughter and knows she's just fine. His wife on the other hand has been through the wringer. 'I've been to see her a few times and she's perfect. Mum, Brooke and Sawyer are with her. She's having a right fuss made of her. She's in her element getting to actually play Doctor in an actual hospital. You know she's made all the bloody staff fall in love with her too'

'She...she was there and then she...'

'I know, I know' He can still see the terrifying image of their daughter's petrified face along with his wife struggling, her head dipping in and out of the water.

'I c-couldn't'

'Shh, it's ok. She's ok' She nods. A tear races down her cheek. 'I promise she's fine baby, she's fine because of you' He wipes the tear away. 'You saved her' He kisses her hand.

Her free hand weakly finds it's way up to her neck. 'My throat. Drink'

'Yeah, the Doctor should be here in a sec, I just want to double check it's ok to give you some water. What do you feel like?'

'...death' She gruffly answers.

His expression is sombre. 'You did die. You were gone for four minutes'

'I don't remember anything...I, I could see you t-taking her annd then...' She remembers feeling a wave of relief, remembers feeling like everything was ok, that she didn't need to struggle anymore. He'd get Roewyn to the beach and everything would be fine.

'Nate came, he got you out and you seemed ok' His nostrils flare. 'And then the next minute' His voice wavers. Her eyes expand. 'You were just gone. Nate was amazing he, he started doing CPR on you but, but nothing was happening' He shakes his head. 'It felt like a lifetime before the lifeguards got to you and, and they used a debilirator on you and that, that bought you back' She blinks. He brushes her hair back and strokes her face and then he's suddenly frowning. 'You don't get to leave me' He tells her hoarsely. 'You don't get to leave me. You hear? Your children need you, I need you'

'I'm here'

'You fucking terrified me'

'I'm sorry' She whispers, her heart aching at the sight of his glossy eyes.

'I, leaving you in the water-' He shakes his head.

'You didn't leave me. You got me. You saved our little girl' He pushes his tongue to the roof of his mouth. Their children come first, their children come before them. They made that deal long ago. There is no choice to be made between either of them or their children. Their beautiful girls' lives are to be put first. That doesn't mean losing her in order to save one of their children would be easy to handle. 'I thought you weren't going to be ok' He confesses. 'I thought I was losing you...' his hand covers his mouth suddenly.

She weakly lifts her arm, hand clumsily settling on his cheek. His fingers cover hers. 'It's ok. I'm ok honey'

He nods. Draws her fingers to his lips. Kisses them. Smiles. 'Yes'

'Is Sawyer ok?'

'She was so amazing. She ran so fast to get me' A tear escapes and makes a path down his cheek. 'She's a bit traumatised I think...I, I yelled at her' He confesses. 'Everything happened so fast and there, there was no time to shield her from what was happening'

Peyton grimaces. 'She saw?'

'Nathan was trying to bring you back for what felt like forever and then, I don't know what she thought the lifeguards were doing but as they were shocking you she tried to get to you' Her face crumples because she can't imagine how terrified her eldest daughter was.

'She must've been so scared'

'Yes. And I yelled at her' He reiterates.

'Honey, shh' She coos. 'It's ok. You were protecting her'

'I love you'

'I know. I love you'

He kisses her and she doesn't pull away.

'Fuck' She curses.

'What, what is it?' His hands leave her face to hover awkwardly in the air.

'It just hurts to move'

'That would be the broken ribs' The female voice makes them both jump and Peyton hisses with her body's jerky movement. 'Sorry to interrupt. It's nice to see you awake Mrs Scott'

'Please, it's Peyton'

'Peyton' The Doctor smiles. 'You gave your husband quite a scare there'

He's scooted back so he's no longer hovering over her. 'Broken ribs' He repeats her earlier observation.

'Yes, I just got Peyton's x-ray back. It's nothing that won't heal but you're going to be quite sore for a while I'm afraid' She walks across the room and props said scan on a light screen to point out the injuries in question. 'This is quite a common injury of CPR'

Lucas's face contorts. 'Nathan always did never know his own strength' He forces a smile because if he doesn't joke he's going to cry again.

'It's a small price to pay and at least 30% of survivors that have had CPR wake up with fractured and broken ribs' Lucas feels nauseous because her use of the word survivor only reiterates how she could quite easily not be here right now. 'Even the most knowledgable can cause exactly the same injuries when performing resuscitation. How are you feeling Peyton? Asides from sore?'

'Er my throat hurts and I feel groggy I guess'

'That's very normal. We've given you an IV that will help with the grogginess. Just try to keep having little sips of water'

'Ok'

'Have you had a chance to speak to Peyton?' The Doctor regards Lucas then.

'Erm no I, she just woke up. Can we have a sec maybe?'

'Absolutely. I'll come back in a few' She smiles before exiting.

Peyton's brow furrows because she's confused by the exchange that just happened '...What's going on? What, is there something wrong?'

He's holding her hand in the both of his. 'Nothing is wrong...'

'Ok...?' She watches him lick his lips. 'Luke?'

'...did you know?' He's already convinced she can't given the conversation they'd had just this afternoon.

'Know' She repeats.

He knows she most definitely doesn't then. Is certain if she knew her first words would have been enquiring as to whether everything is ok. '...Sweetheart you're, you're...'

'What?...'

He stares at her. An inconceivable, irrational fear has just begun to unfurl in his belly. He's wondering if it's his. Wondering if she's had him fooled. This hasn't happened for them so why now?

'Lucas'

He shakes his head and stops his racing thoughts. She's panicking. 'You're pregnant' he hurriedly tells her to stop whatever thoughts have her looking so distressed.

Her brow furrows. '...what?'

'Yeah' He nods, kisses the palm of her hand. She's silent for the longest minute and he starts rambling to fill the void. 'The Doctor wants to check everything over given everything you've been through today. But I'm sure it's fine' He nods a little too enthusiastically.

Her hand trails down to her belly. A baby. The irony isn't lost on her. A baby had been the last thing on her mind for months now.

'...it, it is mine right?' He suddenly blurts.

Her eyes flutter up to meet his then. '...what? you didn't just ask me that'

'Sorry!' He bleats quickly because deep down he knew he knew his completely frazzled mind was being ridiculous. 'Sorry I just, I'm just in a bit of shock. A lot of shock' He corrects.

'Of course it's yours you idiot. Kissed Julian nothing more'

'I know, I know'

'Clearly not if you're questioning me-'

His finger covers her lips. 'I do know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm just all over the place...' His hand is on her face and he breathes out in relief. 'I just, it's not happened for us naturally for so...' He abruptly leans over. Kisses her.

She pulls back a little.

'Sorry, hurt?'

'My lips feel really weird' She mumbles, her finger trailing over them. 'They're so dry'

His finger joins her inspection. 'I guess that's to be expected after everything and Nate giving you mouth to mouth' He adds teasingly. 'Who'd have ever thought I'd be desperate to see his mouth on yours' A wane smile touches her lips at that because she knows he doesn't like thinking about the fact that she'd once slept with his brother. Kissed his brother. 'I really thought you weren't gonna come back. But you, you're still here'

'I'm still here' She agrees.

'And not just you' His other hand joins hers at her belly. 'You really didn't have any idea?'

'No. None. Did that conversation we had earlier spell pregnant to you?'

'No' He admits. 'You didn't mean any of that'

'...I'm scared'

'I know. Me too' He nods. 'But also-'

'Don't look happy' She refuses to get caught up in these findings.

'How can't I be happy right now? You're ok and we're going to have another-'

'No. Don't say that. Don't call it that. We both know if I, if it's ok it, it probably won't be -'

'Let's not do that game. She'll be back in a sec to check everything. One step at a time. Ok?'

'...ok'

'...you didn't take the pill' He murmurs.

'...No'

'I thought you were on the pill all this time'

'I asked the Doctor and she, I dunno, there were a lot more cons to pros and I came away feeling scared that they'd muck up my mood even more rather than help'

'So you knew all those times we could have-'

'I wasn't on a secret mission to get pregnant if that's what you're thinking-'

'No of course I'm not-'

'It just, it didn't even occur to me to use contraception. We've not gotten pregnant without help for forever'

'No...they say the second the pressure is taken off and couples stop trying it happens'

'...mm' Her eyes well.

'Hey'

'I put pressure on us'

'No on yourself maybe' He murmurs. 'Not maybe. Definitely. I definitely put pressure on myself' He admits.

'Because of me'

'No baby' He kisses her again. 'Your lips are dry' He confirms with a little laugh.

'Told you'

'Are they sore?'

'Everything is sore right now'

He pouts. She loves that look. It's his "I wish it was me, I wish I could take it away, I'd take it all away for you in a heartbeat" look.

'You know you're like officially a real angel now' He smiles at his own joke.

'Official angel of death'

He rolls his eyes at her. 'Pack it in'

'Ok...' Her face crumples.

He drops his head to hers. Doesn't say anything. 'We don't know anything yet'

'...I can't do this again' She whispers.

'Yes you can' He hums. His hands clutch her cheeks. 'You can' Her bottom lip wobbles. He stares into her eyes. 'You can'

'I don't want to lose you' She whispers.

'You're not going to'

'I nearly did-'

'No silly girl' He interrupts. 'You never did. You could push me away till the end of time and I'd still be yours. I'm the one that nearly lost you today. Whatever happens everything is going to be different this time because we're going to get through it together, ok?'

She presses her lips together. Nods. 'Together'