Ch 16 – Limbo (2)
"You still working?" Tony asked, sticking his head into Angela's study late on Friday evening.
"Oh, you're back," she said warmly and looked up from her paperwork.
He loved it when her glasses slid down the bridge of her nose and her eyes smiled at him over the rim of the oversize frames. She looked sexy and adorable, and a little bit like the young librarian at Liberty Avenue Middle School, Ms. Switzer.
"How was the library?"
Tony shrugged. "It was the library."
"Are you making good progress?"
"Oh, yeah," he lied. In fact, he had had a hard time concentrating on his studies tonight, as on all the other nights this week. But he thought it wise not to tell Angela that, she would only worry. "How about you?"
Angela leaned back in her chair and took off her glasses. She ran two fingers along her right eyebrow, and he noticed that she looked tired. They both were. Life had predictably picked up speed in the days after Thanksgiving. Tony wanted to strangle whoever it was that had come up with the brilliant idea to schedule finals less than two weeks before Christmas.
"We finally made the Guacamunchies people happy today. So that's good. Jack's team did a stellar job. It's no easy feat to craft a convincing holiday-themed campaign for green potato chips, especially on such short notice. But he pulled it off without a hitch."
"Wow. Sounds like he's exactly the kind of guy you needed. I mean the kind of guy the Agency needed," Tony corrected himself. He was still a little embarrassed about his jealousy earlier in the fall, and whenever Jack came up in conversation, he tended to misspeak. But from the way Angela smiled at him, he could tell that she found it endearing. At least that.
"Yes. The Agency really needed someone like Jack. My needs, however …" she paused and cocked her head slightly, "why don't we talk about those with you inside the room."
Tony couldn't help but grin. "Ay, no problem." He cast a quick look back into the short hallway between the living room and the den before slipping through the half-open door and turning the key in the lock behind him.
Why had they never thought of this before? Angela's study was perfect for alone time. Neither Mona nor the children dared to burst in here unannounced because it was always possible that Angela was in the middle of an important business call, and it wasn't unusual for the door to be locked, either.
Angela stood up and came to meet him in the middle of the room. Tony noticed her pushing the heel of her hand into her lower back.
"Your back hurt?"
She grimaced but waved it away with a dismissive hand gesture. "It's just a spasm. I should really get back into my exercise routine. Things have just been so busy, I have absolutely no time for the gym."
"Hmm," Tony hummed as their lips met in a tender kiss, "and here I was, thinking you got more than enough exercise last weekend."
Angela slapped his chest playfully. "One can never get enough exercise. You of all people should know that."
"True. Very true. Exercise is … important."
"Very important," Angela agreed and leaned in for another kiss. It lasted longer than the first, and Tony led them to the small sofa in the corner of the room. Why stand when he could sit and have Angela straddle his lap?
With his head buried in her neck, he ran his hands over the soft fabric of her cashmere sweater and down to her wonderfully round buttocks. Their late-night meetings in her study had already turned into a new routine of sorts: By the time Tony returned from the library, Angela was ready to call it a day as well, and they allowed themselves small reprieves such as this.
Mona and the kids still didn't know, with his and Angela's initial plan temporarily delayed because of Jonathan's reaction to Michael and Heather's big news. All they had were stolen moments here and there, either in the study or in the car between the station and Oak Hills Drive on days when Mona stayed in the City after work.
"How's Jonathan doing?" Tony asked after a while, and immediately, Angela's hand flew up to her eyebrow again.
"Ah, better, I think. He doesn't want to talk about it much, at least not to me. But Michael called again after dinner, and they spoke for a while. I think he's coming around to the idea of a baby sibling in California."
"That's good," Tony said. "And I was thinking: Maybe it's good for us, too. That we found out now that he may be sensitive where that kind of … change is concerned. You know? So we can be more careful when we tell the kids about us." Both of his hands were resting on Angela's thighs now, and he stroked them encouragingly.
"Yeah," she said and put her hands on his shoulders. "I have to be honest, I didn't think Jonathan would react like that. Not that I ever thought much about Michael and Heather having a baby. I was thinking about … well, about siblings in general. In the abstract. He and Samantha are like brother and sister, and they were never jealous of each other, not even when they were younger."
Tony shrugged. "Maybe because they each have a parent that belongs only to them, you know? You're Jonathan's mom, I'm Sam's dad. Jonathan is going to have to share his father with the new baby."
Angela sighed. "That's true. I suppose I always thought that a baby would bring all of us closer together. A little someone we're all related to." She almost whispered these last few words and gave Tony a strange look.
He could tell that she wasn't speaking in the abstract now and brought his hands up to her hips and gently squeezed. A queasy feeling was threatening to rise up from his stomach into his throat, but he pushed it right back down. These days, Tony only allowed his anxiety to roam free when he was alone – at the library, for example, or when he did housework in the mornings –, never around Angela.
"I'm sure it will. Once everybody has had some time to get used to the idea."
"I hope you're right."
"Hey, come on now," he bowed his head so he could look at her. "Any baby of ours is going to be a charmer. And Jonathan is a good kid. He's gonna love it when he has someone younger to boss around a little. And Sam – back when her mother was still alive, she used to go on and on about wanting baby brothers and sisters. She's a shoo-in."
"Of course. You're right. Why are we even talking about this." A brittle laugh escaped her, and of course he knew why. It was on both of their minds.
When he said good morning to her in the kitchen, when he dropped her off at the station, when they said good night in here, Tony couldn't help but wonder. What if something had already begun, something tiny and miraculous, certainly unplanned this early, but never unwelcome?
This week at the library, he had had ample time to think about all of it. If Angela was pregnant, it meant that he would have to get his act together, and fast. It was a good thing that he had already set up the appointment with career services.
And they would have to look at other issues as well. Their working relationship. Marriage. Under no circumstances did he want people like Joanne Parker and the Harpers, those busybodies, spreading ugly rumors about them. He could picture it with frightening clarity: People at the market, members of the Parents' Association, kids at Jonathan's and Samantha's schools, all gossiping about the Brooklyn-Italian housekeeper who had knocked up his WASP boss.
None of this he shared with Angela, of course. He respected her wishes and only talked about the potential pregnancy when she brought it up first.
Tony ran his hands up and down her back. "So I take it we'll continue to hold off on telling them about us?"
Angela's ribcage expanded under his caresses as she took a deep breath. "I think it's still a little too soon for Jonathan. Right now, I feel like it would be best if we waited until the holidays at least. When all of us are under a little less pressure."
"So, about three more weeks of this, huh?" He looked around her study.
"I'm sorry."
"Hey, no, don't be. I agree, it's for the best. We're in no rush. And I kinda like being asked in here after hours."
"You do, huh?" Her eyes sparkled, and he was happy that some of the heaviness of their conversation was beginning to lift.
"Yup."
"That's good to know. Then I'll keep asking."
"Please do."
Unceremoniously, and with a peaceful sigh, Angela melted forward into his eager embrace.
ooooooooo
The first full week of December brought with it more work at the Agency for Angela, more ineffective study sessions at the library for Tony, clandestine meetings in the den for both of them, an uptick in Jonathan's mood (thankfully) – and an infuriating surprise from Samantha. (What Mona was up to, only she knew.)
"You did what!?" Tony was trying his level best not to shout but was failing miserably. This had to be what a coronary felt like.
"I forgot," Sam said meekly, for the third or fourth time since she had come into the kitchen and interrupted his ratatouille preparations with her confession.
"How can you forget something as important as that?"
"I don't know. I just did. I'm sorry."
"Sam, sometimes I swear I-" Tony stopped himself before he could say anything he might regret later. This whole matter was regrettable enough.
"None of my teachers reminded me. They should have noticed! And what about you? You knew about it, too!"
"Samantha!" He could feel his blood pressure shooting clean through the roof now. "Are you seriously trying to suggest that it is not your responsibility to make sure you confirm your internship placement, but your teachers'? Or mine? What's next, do you want me to start checking your homework?"
Beneath his righteous anger, Tony did feel a little guilty. Under normal circumstances, he would have double-checked with Samantha to make sure that she got back to the little boutique in downtown Fairfield that had replied favorably to her application. But somehow, Sam's internship had gotten lost in the shuffle, and since the woman who ran the boutique had never heard back from Sam, she had given her spot to another girl.
She shifted in place uneasily. "I guess not. I'm really sorry, Dad."
"Yeah, me too," Tony said, a little calmer now. "So, what's your plan? Today is Wednesday, you need to find a new internship by the end of the week."
Not only finals at Ridgemont College – somebody over at Fairfield High had had the harebrained idea to have the tenth-graders take part in a work study program two weeks before Christmas.
"I'll figure something out, I promise," Sam said. "Please don't be mad."
Dumping cut vegetables and minced meat into a frying pan, Tony took a deep breath and tried to center himself. This wasn't the end of the world. They could solve this.
"If all else fails, you'll intern with me," he declared.
Sam's eyes went wide. "What!?"
"What do you mean, 'What!?' Housekeeping – no, wait – Domestic Engineering is a very honorable profession! I should know!"
"Maybe so, Dad. But who wants to do an internship in their own home?"
"I don't know, Sam!" Tony said, imitating her horrified tone, "Maybe someone who forgot to confirm their other internship?"
"Alright, alright. I'm sorry, Dad." Sam raised her hands in a gesture of defeat. "You're right. If I don't find anything else by tomorrow, I'll be your intern."
"Who'll be whose intern?" That was Angela's voice. Tony whipped around and saw her standing by the kitchen door.
Before he could explain, Sam jumped in, probably because she wanted to prevent him from launching into another tirade. Well, he just couldn't help it, his nerves were a bit … frayed these days.
In a small voice, she explained, "I forgot to confirm my internship for the work study program next week. They gave away my spot at Ever After."
"Oh, honey," Angela said, looking back and forth between father and daughter in order to gauge the mood. "What are we going to do?"
"I need to find a new internship pronto. Do you have any ideas?" Sam asked, and Tony immediately understood her angle. She was good, he had to give her that, although he wasn't sure that he liked where this was going.
Angela turned to butter immediately. "Well, you have worked for me before. Of course that was still at Wallace & McQuade, but advertising is advertising. I would love to have you at the office. Only if you're interested, of course."
"Really, Angela? Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! You're the best! I would love to come work for you again." Sam launched herself at Angela and gave her a tight hug. For her part, Angela met Tony's gaze with raised eyebrows. 'What?'
"Tell her when the internship starts, Samantha," he said drily.
"Next week."
"Next week already?" Angela asked, clearly surprised. But she recovered quickly. "Then I suppose you can help us out at the Christmas party, too. This is excellent timing, actually. The more, the merrier." Angela rubbed Sam's back for emphasis and locked eyes with Tony again.
Eventually, Sam excused herself to the living room. She needed to call Bonnie and tell her the happy news.
"Well, that was easy," Tony said and turned on the stove below the pan. "Dinner is in ten minutes, by the way."
"I'm sorry. She surprised me. Did I make it too easy?" Angela bit her bottom lip, and he just couldn't be mad at her.
"Noo," he said, "I mean, yes, maybe. But I suppose the Bower Agency is better than an internship at McDonald's."
"Of course it is!" Angela protested.
"Yes, yes, of course. That's not what I meant," he said, trying to appease her. "I was just thinking, by next week, maybe … you won't need the added stress," he finished slowly, aware that he was stepping over the line here. But he was only human, and almost two weeks after Thanksgiving, he was starting to get nervous.
Stepping closer to him, she nodded and reached for his hand that wasn't holding the spatula. "I know," she said, "But it's fine. Really. Sam can help Sheila and Carrie out with the Christmas party. She's going to have fun, and I look forward to having her around. And the rest … we'll just have to wait and see." After a beat, she added, in that soft register of her voice, "I'm not due until Friday, anyway. Or maybe Saturday."
Tony wasn't sure whether she sounded hopeful or scared. Maybe a little bit of both, just like him.