Ch 20 – Private Moment

Angela woke up long before the alarm.

It was still dark outside, and rain was hitting the windows. She tried to go back to sleep, snuggling into Tony's embrace and matching the pattern of her breathing to his. But it didn't work. The need to find out and a full bladder were making her more and more restless.

When she couldn't stand it any longer, she lifted Tony's arm off her waist and turned on her bedside lamp.

"Tony," she whispered, stroking his shoulder, "Tony."

"Mhm?" he grumbled, eyes still closed.

"Are you awake? I really have to pee, so … I'm going to have to do it now." As she said the words, her heart began to beat faster.

Now Tony opened his eyes. "What time is it?"

"Five-thirty."

"Uh, do you need any help?" he asked, blinking, his voice gravelly from sleep.

Under different circumstances, she would have laughed at his darling question. How was he going to help her pee on a couple of plastic sticks?

"No. It's pretty straightforward."

"Okay." He rolled towards her and pressed a lingering kiss to her cheek. The feeling of his morning stubble on her skin gave Angela goosebumps. If it were solely up to her, she would never spend another night without him.

"It won't take long."

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him pushing himself up into a sitting position and running a hand through his tousled hair. Then she closed the bathroom door, and it was just her and the tests.

It really wasn't difficult. She remembered a much more complicated setup from when she found out she was pregnant with Jonathan. There had been tubes and vials and droppers and a little booklet with instructions. She took the test on a Saturday morning because she had to wait two hours for the results. Now it was a mere three minutes.

When she was done, she set the tests down on the bathroom counter, careful not to look at them again, and went back to the other room, where Tony was sitting on the edge of the mattress.

He was wearing what he always wore to bed, sweatpants and a white undershirt. She remembered this look from as far back as his first night in this house more than four years ago, when he came to her door to apologize after he had pulled Grant off her in the kitchen because he mistook him for an attacker.

And what was it that he had promised her in the heat of the moment?

'You'd never catch me doing something dumb like sleeping with my employer.'

Tony motioned for her to join him on the bed, and she did, grateful when he put his arm around her shoulders.

"You okay?" he asked quietly, and she remembered that nobody knew that he was in her bedroom.

"Yeah," she sighed, and after a quick look at the alarm clock, "Two minutes."

When he didn't say anything in response, she let her head drop to his shoulder. "Thank you for staying with me last night."

"Hey, of course. Best night's sleep I got in a while."

She took his free hand and interlaced their fingers. "It reminded me of the first time you knocked at my bedroom door. After you found Grant and me in the kitchen."

His chuckles reverberated through both of their bodies. "Yeah, that was some night."

"I'm so glad you came here that day," she said, feeling the sudden urge to tell him while they still didn't know the results.

"Me too. I wouldn't want it any other way." He kissed the crown of her head, and she tried to commit the moment to memory.

This was before.

Then she snuck another glance at the clock. One minute. Without warning, tears began to tingle at the back of her throat, and she had to take a couple of shallow breaths to keep them at bay.

"Tony?"

"Hm?"

"I'm scared."

"I know. One step at a time, okay? First we go in there and take a look."

"Okay," she sniffed, but didn't move.

Eventually, he got up, pulling her with him. Hand in hand, they entered the bathroom. Then Tony let her go ahead, and when Angela arrived at the counter and looked down, it was clear as could be.

Four dark-blue lines, two on each test.

Tony came up behind her and wound his arm around her waist. She felt his breath on her cheek as he looked over her shoulder. "What's it say?"

"I'm pregnant," she spluttered, and a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob escaped her. How was this even possible. On the first attempt, which hadn't been an attempt at all.

Tony murmured something like, "Oh, baby," and she couldn't be sure whether he meant her or their child. Then his other arm was around her as well, and his lips were on her neck, and they swayed slowly from side to side as the significance of the parallel lines sunk in all the way.

A deep sense of joy flooded Angela's entire body, warmth sloshing everywhere. She felt alive and whole and as though a huge weight had been lifted off her. At the same time, her worry came into renewed, sharp focus. If something happened to this baby ...

The whirling onslaught of emotions was disorienting. She took a deep breath and tried to anchor herself to the present moment, the bright bathroom lights, the plastic sticks on the counter, Tony's embrace, his strong chest at her back.

When she looked up, their eyes met in the mirror, and what she saw in his gaze was a reflection of her own tumultuous feelings. But in the middle of it all, like the calm center of the storm, there was one immovable, flesh-and-blood truth: They were in this together.

Tony turned her around in his arms and they kissed each other on the lips, morning breath and all. Neither of them cared.

"So now we know," he said, his voice thick with emotion.

She just nodded, swallowing back fresh tears.

"How are you feeling?"

Angela exhaled shakily. "I'm- I want to be happy. I am happy. But what if …"

"I know, sweetheart. Can you go see your doctor? Make sure everything is okay in there?" He looked down and one of his hands slid from her waist to her stomach.

Angela nodded again, still trying not to cry. "I hope they can squeeze me in."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

She shook her head. "You've got your final."

"Yeah, but-"

"It's not that far from the office. I can take the subway."

"Are you sure? I could ask Professor Darnell-"

"Tony, you need to focus on school. I want you to." She reached up and cupped his cheek.

"Good luck with that," he said with a crooked, despairing smile. "I'm gonna be thinking of you two the whole time." His hand now tugged on the front of her nightgown, just like last night in the den, and she thought that her heart might burst.

"I'll be okay. And I'll call as soon as I know something. I promise," she said, reassuring him as much as herself.

"Well, okay then," he said, still reluctant.

"Okay," she echoed. "I know you'll do great on the exam."

For a split second, an unfamiliar expression ghosted across Tony's features, but then he leaned in and captured her lips with his and Angela tilted her head and opened her mouth. The kiss was deep and gentle and serious, and she knew that no matter what, she could rely on him.

A/N: I looked it up, and as it turns out, "modern" pregnancy test sticks came out just in time for Angela to buy them: in 1988.