Ch 22 - Working Girls (5)

"To be honest, I've been watching you," Kathleen said and immediately clasped a hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry, that sounded creepy."

"Uh, yeah, a little," Tony laughed uncomfortably.

Kathleen laughed as well. "What I mean is – there aren't too many of us around here, and I kind of feel like we stand out."

"Of … us?"

"Older students," she clarified.

"Oh, yeah. That's true." Off the top of his head, Tony couldn't think of anyone else, at least not among the freshmen.

"You played professional baseball, didn't you?" Kathleen asked, and he could feel her eyes roaming over his upper body.

"Uh, yeah. For the Cardinals. But that was a long time ago."

"Is that why you didn't go to college until now?"

Tony shrugged. "Nobody ever told me that you could play ball and go to school. I figured it was one or the other, and I was never the studying type, anyway. So I didn't even try. Worked my way up from the minor leagues instead. Got married young, had a kid … you know. One thing led to another. And then my wife died, I hurt my shoulder, and I drove a fish truck for the next seven years so I could take care of my little girl."

Kathleen nodded thoughtfully. They had History and French together, so she already knew some of his story. The parts about baseball and Sam that he always included in his introduction.

"I'm sorry to hear about your wife."

"Thank you. That was a long time ago, too."

Now Kathleen grew animated. "That's what I mean, though! You and I, we have … stories. Something to motivate us. Take me – I dropped out of school when I was 18. And now that I have this chance to be back, I'm really into it. But sometimes when I walk around campus, and I see all these carefree kids who take everything for granted … Sometimes it makes me angry. And sometimes I'm jealous that I missed out on that."

Tony wondered briefly whether he should ask her why she dropped out, but then he concluded that if she had wanted to tell him why, she probably would have.

"Tell me about it. I went to a frat party early this fall. With my- Made me feel ancient."

"Right?" Kathleen agreed, smiling wryly. "Sometimes I think I could be these kids' mother."

"Oh, come on now."

"What?" She smiled again, playfully this time. "I'm 35. It's not impossible. And I think I remember you saying your daughter is sixteen?"

"Yeah, she is."

"So."

"Alright." Tony raised his hands in mock surrender. "My daughter is sixteen, and you could be these kids' mother."

"Thank you." Kathleen took a sip of coffee. "All I'm saying is – I'm happy I'm not the only one. That there is someone else here who gets it. What it's like."

"Yeah," Tony agreed. "I actually get a kick out of studying now. Never thought I'd say that."

"I know, right? I was even excited for finals week."

At this, Tony felt the by-now familiar sense of anxiety beginning to rear its head. His stomach felt funny. Or maybe he had just had too much coffee. "Uh, I wouldn't go that far. I'll be lucky if I don't get an F."

Kathleen waved her hand as if to dispel his pessimism. "I'm sure you did great. You carry half of that History class."

Tony couldn't help but smile. It was nice to hear that she had noticed his participation. "Maybe so. But I messed up on the exam."

"You don't know that."

"I kinda do. I had a major blackout. Couldn't remember a thing until ten minutes before time was up."

Kathleen frowned compassionately. "I'm sure it's not as bad as you think."

"We'll see," he said. And suddenly there were more words that wanted to come out, Tony could feel them in his throat. After a moment's hesitation, he gave in. "The thing is, I found out this week that I'm gonna be a father again. And it's kind of thrown me for a loop."

Even as he was speaking, the question began to flash at the back of his mind like a big neon sign: Why on Earth was he telling Kathleen this?

Until ten minutes ago, he hadn't even liked her. She was too driven, too serious, too pushy. But he had to admit, she was growing on him. It felt good to talk to someone else who understood what it was like to be going back to school in one's mid-thirties. Angela was incredibly supportive, of course, but she couldn't truly relate to this experience.

Angela, Angela, Angela.

Maybe part of this was wanting to make sure that Kathleen wouldn't get the wrong idea here. Tony thought that he had seen her take subtle looks at his hands, likely checking for a ring.

"Oh," she said. And yup, she sounded taken aback.

"Yeah."

"Congratulations?" she offered, maybe picking up on his own ambivalence, maybe disappointed that this wouldn't be going anywhere.

"Thank you. It's been a surprise. Kind of."

"So … did you get remarried?"

"Uh, no. We're- I guess you could say that she … Angela, that's her name. I guess you could say we're engaged."

"Is she a student as well?" Kathleen asked, still trying to feel out the situation.

"Oh, no. She's – Angela has her own advertising agency. In Manhattan. Madison Avenue."

"Wow. How did you guys meet?"

Tony swayed his head. He would have to tell this story many more times in the weeks and months to come, so he might as well get used to it.

"I'm her- I was, well, no. Technically, I still am … I'm her housekeeper. Angela is my boss."

"What?" Kathleen asked, an incredulous look on her face.

"Things kinds of … developed between us." Tony felt the tips of his ears grow red and he hurried to drink some more coffee.

"Sounds like it." Kathleen blinked a couple of times. "Have you been together long?"

Tony scratched the back of his neck. "That would depend on your definition of 'together'." He really had no idea what he was doing here, the words just kept pouring out of him.

"As a couple."

"A few weeks."

"Oh."

"But we've lived together for more than four years," he added quickly.

"So you must know each other pretty well."

"We do. And we love each other. Very much."

Kathleen nodded and looked out of the window onto the crowded quad before turning back to face him. "What are you worried about then?"

Tony's stomach was churning. "I guess when I decided to go back to school, I felt like I was finally going to make something of myself. It's kind of discouraging that I messed up the first chance I got. I just can't concentrate. We're having a baby next summer, and I don't even know what I'm going to major in. And while I can't take a little first-semester History final without having a meltdown, Angela runs a multi-million-dollar business."

"This is only the first year. You don't have to declare a major yet."

He sighed. "Yeah, you're right. And who knows. If I keep screwing up, maybe that's one thing I won't have to worry about at all."

Kathleen arched an eyebrow, and Tony suspected that he had overdone it with the self-pity. "Can I say something to you?"

"Uh, sure."

"From my perspective … and I hope you don't mind a little bluntness-"

"Oh, no. Go ahead. Be blunt."

Kathleen nodded. "From my perspective, it sounds like you're pretty lucky."

"What?"

"Come on. You have a girlfriend, or a fiancée – whatever – who you love. And who loves you. You're going to have a baby. I know a lot of people who would kill for all of that. Hey, I would."

She gave him a pained smile, and he felt bad for having complained.

Kathleen continued, "Who cares what both of you do for a living? And so what if you don't ace every single exam? I've seen you in class, you're smart. I'm sure you wrote something passable during those ten minutes. I mean, for the whole semester you were our resident expert on all things Rome. You'll figure out what you want to major in. And you'll graduate, and you'll find a job, and then you'll wonder what you were so worried about in the first place."

"Wow. You must think I'm an asshole," Tony said, embarrassed.

"No," Kathleen said. "You're just way too hard on yourself."

ooooooooo

Tony liked Kathleen's pragmatic attitude and her forthrightness. She seemed to have her head screwed on straight. In another life, he might have fallen for someone like her, he realized on his way home.

But now, all he wanted was to get back to Oak Hills Drive and call Angela. It was four-thirty, she had probably tried to reach him already with news from her doctor's appointment.

After letting himself in through the back door, he went straight on through to the living room. The little red light on the answering machine was blinking.

He pushed the button, and even through the distortions of the telephone line and the cassette tape, he could hear the relief in Angela's voice.

"Hi Tony. It's me. I've been trying to reach … the house. You're probably still at school, and I have back-to-back meetings this afternoon. I just wanted to let you know, what we talked about this morning – everything's fine. Nothing to worry about. I'll explain tonight. Bye."

Tony replayed the message twice, letting out more and more breaths he didn't know he had been holding. For the first time since Thanksgiving, he felt a true, unadulterated sense of excitement bubbling up inside of him.

He took a look at his watch. There was some time left for him to run a couple of errands before he had to prepare dinner and pick up Angela, Mona, and Sam at the station. Luckily, Todd's mom had agreed to drop Jonathan off at the house after Boy Scouts.

ooooooooo

"Did you listen to the answering machine?" was Angela's first question after the three women got into the car at the station – it sounded harmless enough.

"Yeah. I picked some up at the market." Tony said, trying not to let the stupid grin that he felt tugging at the corners of his mouth seep into his voice.

"Good." Without looking at her, he could tell that Angela was in a similar predicament.

All the way home, the static electricity between them was at an all-time high, and Tony didn't have the mental or emotional capacity to ask detailed questions about the day at the office – even though one or two glances at Sam in the rearview mirror told him that something must have happened. He would ask Angela about it when they were finally alone.

He parked the car in front of the house, and as soon as they were inside, he said as nonchalantly as possible, "Oh, hey, Angela – some papers came for you this morning. I put them in the den."

"Papers?" She finished hanging her coat on the rack by the door and looked at him with a confused expression on her face.

"Yeah, the messenger said you'd know what they are about," he lied. "Just go check them out."

Angela dropped her purse on the bureau and disappeared in the direction of her study.

"Ugh, who needs more paperwork. Let's see what's for dinner," Mona said and ushered Sam into the kitchen. On her way there, she looked back at Tony and threw him a conspiratorial look. She had been uncharacteristically quiet from the minute they left the parking lot, but Tony couldn't be bothered to worry about it. He had more important things to do.

As soon as the kitchen door had closed behind Sam and Mona, Tony hurried after Angela.

The door to the den was open, and when she heard him come in, Angela turned around. A large bouquet of pink roses stood on the desk behind her, and she was holding the little hand-written card.

Her eyes were brimming with tears as she looked up at him. "I love you, too," she said, and for a moment neither of them cared that the door to the hallway was still open as they rushed towards each other for a tight embrace and a kiss.

"What did the doctor say?" he asked quietly.

"Mumps wouldn't be dangerous. Even if I got it, which we don't hope, of course. But he thinks it's unlikely."

"That's good." Tony heaved a sigh of relief. "Anything else?"

Angela shook her head. "It's still really early, so-"

Then they heard the front door go, and Jonathan's voice came from the living room. "Mom!? Tony!?"

ooooooooo

The rest of the night was filled with dinner, surreptitious glances at each other when they both thought that none of the other family members were looking, and finally a bleary-eyed Statistics cram session that Angela didn't want him to skip. She had to catch up on a number of reports she hadn't gotten around to during the day, and they silently agreed to finish their conversation later that night.

By the time Tony felt that he had done all he could to prepare for tomorrow's exam, it was past eleven. He flipped his books shut and cleared everything off the kitchen table.

Giving his customary silent knock on the door to Angela's study, he listened for her reply, but heard nothing. He knocked again. Still nothing.

"Angela?" he whispered as he opened the door and slipped into the room.

He found her lying on the sofa, curled up on her side, fast asleep from the looks of it.

"Sweetheart," he said in a low voice and sat next to her on the cushion.

Angela stirred when he brushed a strand of hair out of her face. "Tony."

"I'm sorry it got so late. You must be tired."

"A little." She turned onto her back and smiled up at him.

"I guess we'll talk tomorrow, huh? Why don't you go up to bed?"

Angela yawned. "Sounds good. Come stay with me again?"

"Of course."

Then they just looked at each other for a long moment before Tony spoke up again. "I'm really happy. I don't think I told you that before."

Angela reached for his hand and brought it to her lips for a kiss to his knuckles. "I'm happy too."

Tony stroked her cheek. "How's your finger?"

She grimaced. "It hurts. But Mother says I'll live."

"How'd you cut yourself, anyway?"

"I pushed a vase of flowers off a table. The smell was making me nauseous. It's a long story." She yawned again.

Tony looked at the pink roses on Angela's desk. "What about those? They making you feel sick, too?"

"No, they're fine. In fact, I love them."

"Good." After a beat and with a look at her midsection, he said, "We're really having a baby."

She smiled softly. "On or around August 19th."

"I can't wait."