Chapter 1
"Go home and get some rest. You're practically dead on your feet."
Leah raised her head, cocking a brow at her boss who was smiling patiently in her direction. They'd gotten an unexpected late night rush of customers, all obvious college students who'd came in to refuel before hitting the books again for midterms. It had been 9:45 when the study group of no less than 16 students came in. The extra tips had been well worth staying almost 40 minutes after their usual closing time. And now, they were facing the cleanup of the century, and Leah refused to allow her pregnant boss to carry her weight alone.
Leah shook her head slightly. "Thanks, Liv. But I'm not leaving you to clean all this by yourself."
Olivia – better known to the small college community as Liv – chuckled as she wiped down the small coffee table in the lounge area. "You're exhausted all the time, Leah. Midterms kicking your butt that hard?"
Biting back a smile at the maternal edge to Liv's tone, Leah simply shook her head again with a soft sigh. "Midterms. My marketing internship." She stifled a yawn. "I'm alright, really. Could probably afford to let myself sleep in a little on Sundays."
At this, Liv laughed. Leah quite liked the older woman's laugh; it reminded her a lot of Esme's.
"You say that so often, I'll be shocked the day you actually do it. My first husband was an early bird like you, although for much less artistic purposes. That man would rise with the sun, grab his tackle box or shotgun, and be gone from 5 AM to about 9 or 10."
Leah detached the water tank from the espresso machine to clean it as she listened to Liv talk fondly of her first husband. She knew Liv loved Marcus, but there would always be a part of her heart that belonged to Adam – a part Marcus could never touch. He'd been taken from her so unfairly, there was bound to be residual feelings. Marcus took it all in stride, considering he treated Liv like she was his missing piece. Their relationship worked, much like her mom's relationship with Charlie Swan worked.
"My dad loved fishing," Leah said. "Hunting not so much."
"Yes, I think I remember you telling me that when you first moved here," Liv replied, carrying a stack of dishes behind the counter to the sink. "How's your mom doing?"
Homesickness rose like bile in Leah's throat. "Mom and Seth are both doing great. I can't believe Seth's going to be graduating this year."
Liv smiled knowingly. "Yes, time does seem to fly, doesn't it? I'm sure you miss them terribly."
"Yeah… terribly."
A few beats of silence passed before Liv continued, "Planning on going home during spring break?"
Leah sighed. This again.
Liv didn't even give her a chance to respond. "If I remember correctly, you've accumulated quite a bit of time off at that internship of yours. And, of course, you know I'll have no problem finding a temporary replacement here at the coffee shop. You should take advantage of all this and go see your family."
"I'll… think about it," Leah finally said, trying to hide her growing discomfort. The opportunity to go see mom and Seth really was perfect. If she wasted it this time, she might not get to see them until Seth was actually ready to graduate. As loathe as she was to verbally admit it, she missed him most out of everyone back home. They'd grown close after the death of their father, and even closer after the Volturi came to Forks three years ago in the battle that never happened.
If she thought about that day for too long, she could almost smell the flesh of the vamp named Irina they'd burned alive.
It was nearly 11:30 when the two finally emerged, exhausted, from the coffee shop. Liv waved her departure as she made her way to her car. Leah was too tired to smile, though she wanted to, but she did wave back before she began making her way down the street to reach her studio apartment only a few blocks away.
As was custom, the brisk night air soon woke her up, clearing her mind of the post-coffee rush brain fog. She considered Liv's words carefully, having not thought about actually going home since winter break last year when she completely chickened out.
A year on a solo road trip up and down the Pacific coast plus two years away at community college in Seattle, and she'd completely changed. She wasn't exactly sure all of the changes would be welcome, but if there was anything Leah had learned during her time away, she'd learned that there were some things she was willing to compromise on and there were some things above compromise. Her own happiness was one of those things she now held in the highest regard, and she was unwilling to compromise at all when it came to it. She may have bowed out of Sam and Emily's wedding as their bridesmaid, but she wouldn't be made to feel guilty about it. If everyone was going to treat her horribly the way they had before she'd left, well… she'd just come back here to Seattle. To the life she'd started building for herself.
A small puff of air escaped her nostrils as she thought about Liv. And Max, her anally retentive yet caring intern manager. He'd seen what she could do with a camera, and hired her on sight.
Work kept her pretty busy, so Leah had very little friends to speak of. Though that didn't necessarily mean she was lacking in any relationship department; a steady stream of women passed through her door as often as she wanted. Rarely the same woman more than a few times. She wanted nothing serious – she just wasn't made for it.
Unlocking her apartment, Leah practically stumbled inside and turned on the light. She yawned, kicking off her shoes and sidestepping the growing pile of laundry she'd yet to find the time to muddle through. Her space was small but it was her own, and for that, she was grateful.
Shower. Shower and then bed.
Later, after she'd ditched her work clothes, showered, and crawled into bed, she found her fatigued mind once again drifting towards home, towards the ancient, rocky beaches of La Push where she'd spent many nights with friends passing beer around campfires. She thought of her baby brother, who truly wasn't a baby any longer. Her mother, who'd found love in a man who'd also known loss. Her pack leader, who'd given her permission – though she didn't ask for it – to leave for as long she needed. Jacob had assured Leah he'd keep an eye on Seth, and that assurance was all she'd needed to hit the road.
As her eyes drifted shut, Leah also thought of her cousin and ex-boyfriend, and wondered if seeing them together again would cause all those past feelings of inferiority to return. Having gotten the distance she needed to process her own emotions, she was finally ready to really forgive them both. But forgiveness didn't erase the hurt.
Finally, with that final thought echoing in her head, she slipped into a restless sleep.
Two weeks later saw Leah packing her clunky 1999 Chevy for the road back to Forks. She checked her watch – 9:00 AM.
Where are they? Leah thought, a bit disgruntled. She had a nearly 5 hour drive ahead of her, and couldn't really afford to keep waiting around if she wanted to make it to Forks decent time. She would've left much earlier, but that wouldn't have given Liv and Marcus time to say goodbye.
Almost as though on cue, the couple pulled up, beeping the horn on their sleek Toyota Camry. Leah groaned, certain they must have attracted the attention of all her neighbors. She hoisted the last duffel bag into the bed of her pickup truck, then went around to meet her boss-turned-friend.
Marcus was already out of the car and around the passenger's side by the time it took Liv to unbuckle her seatbelt and open the door. The care with which he took to help her out of the car tugged at something in Leah's chest. That was something she could never have.
You don't even want that. Get it together.
Liv placed a steadying hand on her husband's arm and another hand on her swollen belly. "Sorry it took us so long, Leah," she laughed, patting her stomach. "This little one has definitely been making his presence known the last week."
Leah's face morphed into a grimace. Guilt and doubt began to worm their way into her conscience. "Are you sure you'll be alright at the shop? I can always wait to go until the baby gets here, or…"
"Nonsense!" Liv barked, and reached in the passenger's side to retrieve a small basket of something – baked goods, most likely.
"The shop will do just fine while you're away," Marcus gently urged. "You should go see your family. You'll only be gone a week or so."
Leah smiled weakly. "You're right." Liv waddled over to her, and she took the older woman's offering of muffins and a big hug.
"Thank you so much for all you've done for us," Liv said, finally pulling back from the hug. "It's been so amazing having someone we can consistently rely on. Now, go, and have some fun. Enjoy your spring break, for goodness' sake!"
"I'll do my best," Leah laughed, carefully disentangling herself. "Tell that little guy to hold off his grand appearance at least until I get back."
Liv sighed exasperatedly. "No promises! I'd have junior here yesterday if it meant no more Braxton Hicks."
About two hours later, Leah was cruising north up Route 101 humming along to the radio and eating the last of the banana nut muffins Liv had sent her off with. More beaches were starting to come into view, letting her know she wasn't too far from home now. Only two people knew she was coming back to La Push for spring break – Jacob and Seth.
Both of them had responded just how she'd thought they would. Seth was beside himself with excitement, and couldn't wait to show Leah how much he'd learned in his martial arts classes. Jacob was… Jacob. He'd become a lot more empathetic and understanding since Bella's transition and the birth of Renesmee, but was still an asshole. He was happy to have Leah back, but ultimately just wanted no drama among the packs since they'd all been coexisting so well. Leah couldn't help but wonder if the reasoning was a little more selfish than he was letting on, considering his imprint was a girl named Aiyana, who'd joined Sam's pack shortly after the Volturi left Forks.
Clouds were threatening to cover the brightly shining sun when Leah finally turned off of La Push Road and entered the reservation. She'd stop by her mom's before heading down to Second Beach where Seth told her both packs were having a bonfire party. It was really against her better judgment that she was going to a social gathering so quickly after returning, but Seth was excited about it and she didn't want to disappoint him. She'd missed so much of his life these past few years; he deserved this time with his big sister and all of his friends. He wouldn't be in high school much longer.
Leah's truck sputtered as she turned into her driveway and parked behind Charlie's cruiser. She patted her dashboard fondly and tapped the little salmon figurine that hung from her rear view mirror for good luck.
"Here goes nothing," Leah sighed, stepping out of the Chevy.
The initial reunion with her mother really hadn't been as bad as she'd anticipated. After everything Leah had put her through by leaving La Push so suddenly, she'd expected Sue to smile tightly, give an awkward hug that felt way too forced, and excuse herself to the kitchen. This version of her mom who cried while holding her daughter in a tight embrace – this was what Leah had missed. This was what she needed.
When the tears subsided at last and Charlie got everyone comfortable in the living room with mugs of coffee, Leah found herself blushing at her mom's appraisal.
"How many more tattoos are you going to get, Leah? You're not going to have anymore room left!"
Charlie chuckled. "You know, she's making me want to get over my fear of needles long enough to get one done."
Leah also smiled and rolled her eyes, rubbing the back of her neck with one hand. She was an artist; what did they all expect? Plus, her ink often helped her win over cute girls who may otherwise be way out of her league. Another slight detail she'd yet to mention.
It's so easy, why are you stalling?! 'Mom, I'm bi. Yeah, you probably already guessed with the multiple tattoos, lip piercing, and butch haircut. Okay, see you later, heading down to the beach now!' There. That simple.
Except it wasn't that simple. Since the Cullen clan had come back to Forks all those years ago, nothing in Leah's life had been simple. But what had she promised herself prior to leaving Seattle? No more compromises when it came to happiness. So she gathered the tattered remains of her courage, put her mug down on the coffee table, and opened her mouth to speak.
"Mom, I –"
"LEAH?! What the fuck? You were supposed to text me when you got here!"
Shit.
"Language!" Charlie admonished Seth, who came bounding in the backdoor.
"Sorry, Charlie," Seth grinned, though he didn't sound very sorry at all as he scooped his older sister up in his arms. "Ahh, it's so good to see you again! Never thought I'd say it, but I missed you."
"Feeling's mutual," Leah snickered. Seth's hug had lifted her a good foot off the ground. Her beanpole little brother was no longer a beanpole nor little, it seemed.
"God, you're jacked," she exclaimed when he sat her back down. "What are they feeding you? This can't all be martial arts."
Seth guffawed. "It mostly is. Jake's also been letting me run patrol along our Southern and Eastern borders. Oh! How long are you staying again? You gotta run patrol with us again at least once before you go back to Seattle. It's usually just me and two other wolves from Sam's pack. Gets pretty lonely out there since I can't exactly hear them, and – "
"Seth!" Leah cried. "If I promise to run patrol with you before I go back, will you shut up?"
Seth grinned, a mischievous twinkle in his dark eyes. "Expeditiously."
"I'm assuming you kids will be heading down to Second Beach now?" Charlie asked, bending to collect everyone's cups to take to the kitchen.
"Wait," Sue interjected. "Leah was going to say something just before Seth got here. What was it you were saying, honey?"
All eyes were on her now, and for whatever reason, Leah just couldn't bring herself to gather that same courage she'd been able to earlier. Oh well, there wasn't any rush – she'd come out at a more… convenient time. That word – convenient – she didn't know how she felt about it.
"Yeah! I just.. I was just getting ready to tell you a little more about my marketing internship in Seattle. But it can wait!"
"Yeah, it can wait, mom," Seth groaned, already dragging Leah out the door. "Let's go, Leah – half the pack is already down at the beach waiting for us. You're lucky I decided to swing by mom's first before heading over."
"You kids have fun!" Sue called after them, a touch of worry making her brows furrow. Leah had a sinking suspicion that her mother didn't at all buy the white lie she'd told, and prepared herself for a private talk later.
"No drinking, Seth!" Charlie's voice followed the siblings outside, and they shared a laugh over his words of caution. Clouds had completely taken over the sky, with the sun nowhere in sight. Leah wondered if a bonfire might not have been the best idea to have today.
"The Cullens are going to be there too, just a head's up."
"Ugh," Leah groaned. "I actually rescind my own invitation. I am no longer attending."
"Not allowed," Seth chuckled. "Wanna take my car or yours?"
"Yours. I put some miles on my baby today."
Seth gestured to the white Honda Civic that was parked on the street. "That's my baby. Dude, as soon as I saw your truck, I couldn't park fast enough."
As Leah climbed into the passenger's side of Seth's car, she couldn't help but wonder why her little brother was trying so hard to make her heart melt. The siblings drove the short distance to Second Beach, talking and bantering the whole way like they might have done years ago. She'd missed this, she realized. Like really missed this. She sent a silent thank you to Liv for giving her that final push she'd needed to return.
Leah learned that, as far as the Cullens went, it would really only be Bella, Edward, and Renesmee at the bonfire. The rest of the Cullens had moved to Australia a year ago apparently. Which was fine with her. She'd prefer it if no vamps lived in Forks, but realized she wasn't living in a perfect world. She also learned – since Seth never seemed to stop talking – that Renesmee was actually rather close to both the Black and Uley packs. They would often all hunt together in the mountains, and the half-vampire spent a lot of time on the reservation.
"You'll really like her now that she's grown up a little," Seth said, parking the car. "Renesmee's sweet but she also knows when to give you your space, ya know?"
"Sounds like you could be crushing a little," Leah said, throwing him a smirk.
Seth made a face. "God, no. The whole age thing with her fucks me up. She looks seventeen but she's really, like, nine? Or.. eleven? See, I don't even know!"
It took an entire minute for Leah to quit laughing, much to Seth's disgruntlement. "Besides," he said carefully once she was no longer doubled over, "there's this… girl that I've been seeing recently."
That sobered Leah pretty quick. "Oh? Is this like…"
"No!" Seth hurried to say. "No, no. Not, like, imprinting or anything. Just… we met during martial arts and we're really into each other. And I don't know how mom and Charlie are going to take it."
Leah waited for him to say more, but as the minutes stretched on, it seemed like he wasn't going to. She touched his arm lightly.
"Hey… you can talk to me, you know? Even when I'm away in Seattle. You can always talk to me. What's bugging you about this girl?"
Seth smiled softly and shook his head deliberately. "Nothing at all. That's the thing – she's perfect. Too perfect, I think. I'm always scared I'll mess it up and she won't want to see me anymore. But she really likes me too, ya know?"
Nodding slightly, Leah racked her brain for something she may have missed but still ended up struggling to see where the issue was. "Seth, could you –"
"Her name is Ava," he finally said. "And Ava's… trans."
Seth winced, as though he himself hadn't quite heard the words spoken aloud yet. His body was positioned defensively, seemingly ready to bolt at any sign of rejection from his sister. Leah wanted to cry.
She gave his arm two quick squeezes, and waited to speak until he turned to look at her.
"Well… are you going to tell me more about her?"
Tears bubbled up in Seth's eyes that he tried to rub away. He smiled and nodded, sniffling disgustingly. "I'm pansexual," he murmured, "You're the only one I've told."
"I dated a few girls who were pan," Leah said, passing him a tissue from the glove compartment. "I'm sure Ava is just as amazing as you are. I can't wait to meet her."
"If she was a wolf, she'd be able to kick vampire ass," Seth laughed. "And her eyes. And the way she sings –"
"Ugh, can we grab something to eat before you go full romance novel?" Leah asked, opening her door to the salty ocean wind. "I'm starving."
Seth grinned and sniffled once more. "Good idea."
As they approached the beach, the siblings saw that the bonfire was already lit and roaring. Everyone sat on logs or folding chairs that leaned back. A bottle of something was being passed around, and music drifted from someone's wired speaker. As they came closer, a knot of anxiety filled Leah's stomach. Sam and Emily were likely to be there. She took a deep breath. There's no going back now. Just hold your head high, and you'll be fine.
Once the siblings were downwind, it hit her.
Leah's nostrils flared. The scent nearly knocked her off her feet, and she stumbled as though it had. Seth didn't notice, still talking a mile a minute as usual about maybe ditching the bonfire a little early to go hang out with Ava. The smell was becoming so overwhelming, dizziness blurred Leah's vision. She stopped dead in her tracks, and this time, Seth did notice.
"Uh… you okay?" he asked, concern clouding his features. Leah didn't immediately respond glancing around frantically as though looking for something.
"What the hell is that smell?" she finally murmured distractedly, and inhaled deeply.
Seth sniffed the air, then shrugged. "I don't smell anything – just the bonfire… and Bella, of course."
At the mention of Bella, Leah wrinkled her nose. "Ew, no. Not her. Not by a long-shot. No, this smells good. Like… I don't know, honey or something. Floral, almost?"
Seth laughed. "Flowers? Did you bump your head while you were away, Leah? There aren't any flowers for miles from here."
Leah rolled her eyes at her little brother. "No, it's not a flower. Forget it. Can you grab me a hotdog or burger or something?"
"You got it," he grinned, and sprinted off to find them both some food.
She'd been able to brush it off in front of Seth, but this unfamiliar scent was really starting to drive Leah up the wall. It didn't smell exactly like flowers, per se, but it was sweet. Rich. Intoxicating. It had her wolf form vibrating just under the skin, and she found herself struggling for control, which hadn't happened in a long time.
She had to know where it was coming from.
With that, Leah was off, letting her nose and instincts guide her. She gave the groups sitting around the bonfire a wide berth, not quite ready to interact with everyone just yet. Especially if Emily chose to throw pitying doe eyes at her all night.
As she neared the cluster of vans and pickup trucks parked on the beach, the scent became stronger. This close to the source of the maddening smell, she became even more certain that it was floral in nature. Whatever it was, it reminded her a lot of the jasmine incense her mom occasionally burned.
She heard sniffling, and immediately quieted her footsteps. Fuck. What a way to make her reappearance – caught snooping around everyone's vehicles for some crazy weird scent she couldn't put a name to or find.
Until she could.
Upon rounding a cargo van that kept a beaten blue pickup out of sight, Leah saw a young woman sitting at the edge of the pickup's bed. The woman's skin was a cool cinnamon, and her hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail which allowed Leah to see her tear-streaked face. The scent of jasmine, honey, and books wafted from her, pulling Leah in as though she had no control of her own. The world shifted on its axis, throwing her upside down and re-aligning her path with this beautiful woman who seemed so helpless, crying alone with her glasses and cell phone held in her lap.
Leah's knees wobbled as the implication of what exactly was happening slammed into her like a freight train.
"No," a horrified whisper left her lips.
Her sudden noise startled the woman, whose puffy brown eyes lifted to meet her own. She looked momentarily startled, then smiled slightly through her tears.
"Oh.. I'm sorry." Her voice was like a balm to Leah's soul. "I thought I'd be the only one back here. I should probably just go home –"
"No!" Leah finally spoke, this time a little louder. "No. You – stay. I just got here. I can – I can go. Yeah, no. I just – I need to get out of here."
Feeling very much like a coward for abandoning her imprint after only just meeting her, Leah quite literally turned tail and ran for the line of trees that dotted the shoreline. Every nerve ending screamed at her to turn around. Her wolf paced inside her like a beast barely contained in its cage. It couldn't understand why she was resisting the pull to her imprint, and there was no reasoning with it. Especially now that it could – still, even from this distance – feel the emotional distress rolling off of the mysterious woman in waves. Leah's wolf clawed just under the surface, threatening to break loose at any moment.
For once, she gave into the baser parts of her animalistic instincts. As soon as she reached the visual cover of the trees, Leah transitioned, ripping her clothes in the process. Large paws thudded over the earth, carrying her further and further away from La Push. She raised her large head in a mournful howl.
Genetic dead end indeed.