"Isn't crazy?"

"Well, for the record, the world had been crazy for centuries."

I laughed. Only Ymir could turn a story about a war between Marley and Eldia I had heard from the elders into a joke. I would feel guilty a second later, but I knew she would say something so that I would forget.

"Ah, but to hell with them. They are lucky enough they found the queen."

See?

"And by the way, what the hell is a queen doing here? One of your people might start to get worried and come to get you now." That was her attempt to lighten the mood. I knew I didn't have to answer it.

I was sitting with Ymir on a hill five minutes away from the farmhouse I was staying. Everyone might have been talking about anything but titans in the living room, because Connie had sworn that he would kick anyone who started the topic. "This is our only holiday after months!" he would yell.

Ymir had commented on that, "For the first time in forever, I would agree with him."

Then we fell into a comfortable silence. We both sat on the grass that was surprisingly warm despite of the breezy night. As I stared at the sky, I suddenly remembered a lullaby Ymir hummed to me years ago, when we were still in training.

I might have not remembered the entire melody exactly, but I tried humming the part I remembered the most, hoping not to ruin the song.

"You know, I used to hum that so that you would fall asleep, not to make you stay awake in the middle of nowhere like this," she commented. I wondered if I was humming the right melody because she didn't say anything.

I smiled, but I finished the lullaby before I replied after a beat of silence. "Sometimes I want to hum it when I can't sleep, but it would be weird, humming it to myself," I tried to hid a pang of sadness in my words.

"You still have trouble sleeping?"

"Sometimes." I knew she knew it, but I answered anyway. When she didn't respond and the air felt colder, I thought she would pat my head or streak my hair, but she didn't.

Then when the silence remained for more than five seconds, I started to panic. I turned my head to see her, afraid that she wasn't there. But there she was, with a blank face, staring right at me.

Even though she did that all the time, I still blushed knowing that someone was looking intensely at me.

"Sorry," she said right before I looked away. I didn't know if she had apologized for not singing the lullaby or because…

Then I was suddenly afraid that she would think I was angry, so I turned to look at her again. As soon as I met her brown eyes, I opened my mouth just to closed it again, trying to find the right words to say.

"Maybe I should hum it to you sometimes, so that you didn't have to sneak out just to talk to me like this," she said with a regret. There, a sad smile I had thought Ymir didn't have.

"You…," I started, not even sure what I was going to say to make the both of us feel better. But after a second, I changed my mind. She always made me feel better, even when I thought I didn't deserve it. Maybe it was time for me to return the favor.

"It's okay," I gave her a smile just to ease her worry. "It's okay as long as I can see you."

She smiled back at me. "As long as I can see you, but in secret."

I wanted to hug her, but of course I couldn't. "I wish I could—"

"Historia!" Connie's voice broke the peacefulness.

Ymir grunted in annoyance.

I turned my head around, but keeping Ymir at the corner of my vision, afraid that she wouldn't be there if I lost her from my sight. I wanted to hold her hand just to make sure that she was there.

"Told you they would look for you," Ymir said.

I sighed.

"Hey," she shifted a little closer. "You can always come and see me again." There she was, trying to make me feel better again.

I chuckled. "But I thought you hated me sneaking out."

"You know I don't always mean what I say."

"I know." I swore I would do anything to be able to hold her hand. "But still, I miss you."

"I know." I could hear a smile in her voice. "Now, go, Your Majesty, your people need you."

"I bet they just need an extra person to play cards," I did a feeble attempt to buy some time. I knew Ymir wouldn't buy it. No one would buy it, although we really did play cards sometimes. I had told Ymir that Jean kept winning and Mikasa hated it, so they forced everyone to play every single night. But then I started to panic when my mind started to think about anything else besides Ymir.

"Hey, Queen Historia," she called me. But she didn't give me a chance to look at her face as she whispered, "I love you, Your Majesty."

And she wasn't there when I raised my face to look at her brown eyes for the last time today.

I was staring at the dark sky, a million stars above me. She had that habit of disappearing without any notice. I wanted to look right at her dark eyes, and reply her usual "good night," but I couldn't.

I sighed.

As I opened my eyes, I wanted to look at her face, to thank her, for tonight, for every night she spent with me. But all I could stare at was the million stars instead—which, when I thought about it, was pretty much the same as the depth in her eyes—and whispered, "I love you too, Ymi