CHAPTER FOUR
"A witch? She's a witch?"
"Look, I didn't think witches still existed, which is why I've never mentioned it before."
"Oh great, well okay, if we're not gonna discuss things we didn't think existed-"
"I know it's going to come as a shock to you Stiles, but your sarcasm isn't actually helping right now."
"Ah yes, as opposed to your brooding, silent act- yeah that's really doing us a world of good-"
"Guys, shut up, I think she's waking up."
Their voices were like particularly long nails on a chalkboard but they sounded distant, like they were in another room. I struggled to make odds or ends of what they were saying. My head was pounding painfully and coherent thoughts were slipping away from me.
"Winona?"
I tried to cling onto consciousness at the sound of my name but I was so damn tired. I could feel Scott beside me- his spiritual presence anyway and it was a comfort. There was something very peaceful about him, being around him was like holding your childhood teddy or blanket to your face and feeling like everything was going to be okay. It made me want to keep sinking and let sleep overtake me again.
Suddenly, my body jolted and my serene half consciousness was gone, terror instantly claiming its place. Someone swore.
"Jesus Stiles, looking where you're driving would you?"
My eyes snapped open instantly and I launched into a sitting position, my back stiff and my hands shaking. Somewhere very far away, I could hear Scott asking me if I was alright but I couldn't answer him. I could barely even move.
I was in a fucking car.
It was dark outside and the car windows were open, rolled down about halfway. There was a chill in the air and if I tried hard enough, I could almost smell my Mum's perfume. Her signature scent was white jasmine and it filled the car, its normally sweet scent, cloying and unpleasant in the small space. Little beads of sweat covered my body and I was trembling head to toe. A few seconds ago, I had barely had the energy to open my eyes and now I was practically vibrating.
I wanted to rip my fucking skin off. I needed to get out.
Without warning, I was launched back into my memories- that awful night playing on a loop before my very eyes. I watched my Mum- my beautiful Mum- turn back to say something, laughter on her lips and light in her eyes. I saw the headlights of the oncoming car through the windshield. They were right in front of us- why were they right in front of us? I began to lose myself in the glare.
My vision was blinded by bright lights- real bright lights and I screamed. It was bloodcurdling, a proper final girl scream and Stiles jumped about a foot off his seat in surprise. I shot forward, gripping his headrest as if my life depended on it, and Stiles jerked the steering wheel like he was trying to pull it free from the console. The car rocked dramatically and Scott's hand shot out to steady me, his other braced himself against the door. Even Derek grunted in surprise.
The other car's horn added to my already fragile nerves, as they blared it liberally to punish us for swerving. The driver shot us the finger as he passed.
"Stop the car!" I screamed, just falling short of hysterical. "STOP THE FUCKING CAR!"
"Scott!" Stiles yelled from the front. "Get her under control man!"
"Winona, it's okay," Scott tried to soothe me. "You're okay, we were just driving you-" I wrenched myself away from him, not bearing to be touched. My skin felt like it was on fire.
"I don't care," I sobbed, abandoning my last reserves of dignity and bawling my eyes out. "Let me out!" I was dimly aware that the last line had come out as a shriek.
I clawed desperately at the door handle, preparing myself to just tuck and roll- anything to get away from the white jasmine haunting the car, but the door stuck.
"Why won't the fucking door open?" I cried, pulling at it frantically.
"Stiles just pull over!" Derek shouted.
I wondered if he could feel me, like I could feel him? If he understood even a fraction of my fear? How could he not- I felt like my terror was threatening to suffocate us all.
"Alright, alright!"
I continued to pull at the door handle until Stiles brought the car to a rough stop, off to the side of the road. I didn't care where we were and I didn't think to even take in my surroundings. My car door finally opened with a creak and I threw myself out onto the road.
The night was cool but it did little to ease my burning skin. Every slight breeze felt like an attack on my body. My fringe was damp and strands of it stuck to my forehead with sweat. I still couldn't breathe.
I was on all fours, trying to get my breathing under control as the others got out of the car. I heard Scott rush to me but Stiles got there first, lowering himself to his knees in front of me.
"Hey," he said softly, all previous anger at scaring him, gone from his voice. "You need to breathe okay? Slowly."
I tried to do as he said and we took a few slow, synchronised breaths together. Scott copied Stiles and lowered himself to the ground, reaching out to lay a hand on my shoulder. I immediately flinched away and my breathing picked up the pace again.
Stiles put his hand up to Scott. "Don't touch her," he warned. "She just needs to breathe. Winona- look at me."
My body moved of it's own accord. I met Stiles' eyes, deep brown on wrecked blue, and focussed intently on breathing. I kept my eyes intently trained on his, seeking him out desperately like a lighthouse in a storm.
I wasn't sure how long we sat like that. At some point Scott got up and began to confer with Derek in low voices. Stiles never moved though. He kept his gaze firmly on mine and soon, I could barely even hear the two werewolves- it was just the two of us and the sound of my gasping.
When I realised that I hadn't taken a breath which wracked through my whole body in a while, I tentatively shifted into a sitting position, shuffling back to lean up against the car. I pulled my knees up to my chest and realised that my torso was soaked. I wasn't sure if it was from the sweat or tears but I wiped a shaking hand across my face for good measure. My fingers came away streaked with red and I started, before remembering that the light show I had put on earlier came at a price. I balled up my sleeve and dabbed gently at my face.
I was starting to regain control of myself and the shame of my episode began to creep in. I had just completely broken down in front of the three people I was supposed to remain mysteriously aloof for. I didn't even know if I could trust these guys yet and I had shown them the most vulnerable version of myself.
Immediately and without fully thinking through the implications, I corrected myself. I realised that I did actually trust them. Sure, it was only a tiny bit and only Scott and Stiles but still- I did trust them.
"I'm so embarrassed," I said, my voice coming out in a hoarse whisper. Stiles shifted towards me and mimicked my sitting position, leaning his back up against the jeep.
"I wouldn't be," he said lightly. "You couldn't be a hard ass forever."
"Yeah," I sniffled. "But I still had a few more wolf quips in me."
Stiles snorted and I looked over at him just in time to catch him smile. "You're such a jerk for torturing me all day, you know."
I managed a weak smile of my own. "Well, I'd say you just got me back tenfold."
His smile fell away and his brow creased softly. "I'm sorry for scaring you," he said quietly. "We really were just trying to get you home."
"How do you know where I live?"
"We don't actually, we'd been driving around in circles for about twenty minutes before you woke up. This whole thing is actually a big relief, we were about to run out of gas."
I chuckled but it almost immediately died in my throat as I thought about what I was going to say next. I cleared my throat awkwardly in a bid to eliminate any more opportunities to sound like a scared little girl.
"I- I don't like cars. Waking up in the backseat just… it took me back to something I'm not keen to remember."
I watched Stiles carefully for any kind of untoward reaction. I loathed sympathy, I couldn't handle people feeling sorry for me. If he was about to dump a greeting card's worth of metaphors and platitudes on me then I was fully ready to just roll out into the middle of the road and wait for a car to run me over.
His face was open and disarmingly honest, I felt like I saw every passing thought flicker across it before he eventually opened his mouth.
"How are you feeling Winona?" Scott asked, appearing round the car and interrupting us. I was grateful for it honestly, it was beginning to feel like my own emotions were going to suffocate me. He held a tentative hand out, obviously debating whether or not I was still busy being a headcase, and I accepted it gratefully, allowing him to pull me to my feet.
I dusted off my jeans to avoid making eye contact with anyone, as Stiles got up beside me. Derek cleared his throat obviously and I was unfortunately out of time. I tucked a damp strand of hair behind my ear and plastered on a fake smile.
"So… anyone really fancy a drink right now?"
Derek advanced and made to get up in my face- the nice guy act was evidently over. Instinctively, I stuck my hand in my pocket and made to curl my fingers around my lighter- only finding empty space. Not that it would have done any good anyway.
"Looking for this?" Derek asked, waving my lighter under my nose. Scott made to move between us and Derek forced him back with a hard shove. I clenched my jaw and forced myself to stay calm.
"Can I have it back please?" I asked, fighting hard to keep my voice measured. I wasn't afraid, far from it. Rather, I could feel myself getting angry and as the Hulk liked to say, Derek wouldn't like me when I was angry. This night had been an emotional rollercoaster and I didn't have the capacity to play nice right now.
He turned the lighter over in his large hands and then flicked it open.
"What is it, some kind of trick lighter?"
Despite myself, I snorted. "And that would make me what- a magician? Did what I did back there look like your garden variety rabbit out of a hat act?"
I heard his jaw click as he fixed me with a steely stare. "Who are you?" he asked, his tone hard.
"I think a better question is, what are you?" Scott interjected, looking like he desperately wanted to keep the peace. I could feel his ache for civility pouring out of him and I softened my stance in an effort to diffuse any potential fights.
"I'm pretty sure we covered this," I said but carried on anyway. "I'm a witch. Just your friendly, neighbourhood Sabrina Spellman."
"Can you do spells?" Stiles asked, interested.
"Kind of," I replied with a frown. "I mean, I think I can. I mostly do elemental magic but I'm pretty sure I can cast."
"You think?" Derek scoffed. "What do you mean, you think?"
I shrugged and struggled not to blush, feeling the weight of all of their questions bearing down on me.
"Exactly what I said, I think. I'm pretty new at this. You know, most witches don't come into their powers until they're like 21."
"But you're different," Scott said and it wasn't a question. Just a statement. Like it made all the sense in the world that I was different.
"I guess I am," I replied, trying to keep a smile off my face. These warm, fuzzy feelings were completely alien to me and I wasn't interested in letting them stick around.
"So, you're a sixteen-year-old witch? Fantastic." Derek groaned, running a hand through his short hair. "I'm running around with a pack of teens, trying to fight off a fucking alpha with the puberty power rangers. I might as well start charging baby-sitter fees."
"Wait, hold on," I said abruptly. "What do you mean 'trying to fight off an alpha'? Are you not the alpha?"
Derek frowned. "No, why would you think I was the alpha?"
Shit.
If Derek wasn't the alpha, that meant that I had asked for an audience with the wrong werewolf. I had recognised something dark in the magic that lingered around Derek's property, something tinged with anger. I had hoped, if I could just meet with Derek, that I could help to keep him under control. After spending the day listening to the Chuckle Brothers, I felt quite confident that Derek just needed a firm hand. But now I was looking at an even scarier third party. One which seemed to freak out the others and I wasn't liking my chances.
"Fuck," I managed to verbalise, raking my hands through my damp hair. "Fuck. You're not the alpha."
"Why do you keep saying that?" Stiles asked, worry creeping into his tone.
"He's been to your house Derek," I said urgently, ignoring Stiles. "That's why I thought it was you, I could feel him. I stumbled across your house yesterday and the magic around it was so strong."
"Wait you can feel us?" Scott asked at the same time that Derek swore. I was beginning to get whiplash with all the questions.
"Yes I can feel you," I said to Scott. "As a witch, we can recognise magic the same way you can recognise someone's scent. With supernatural creatures, it's like… I don't know. Blood recognising blood."
Scott and Stiles turned to look at each other with wide eyes, evidently needing the other to absorb all of the information. Derek meanwhile, looked positively harried.
"Can someone please explain to me what the deal is with this alpha?" I asked, feeling anxiety coil in my chest.
"He's insanely strong and insanely violent," Scott explained worriedly. "I think he wants us in his pack, he's the one who turned me in the first place."
"He's killed people," Stiles added grimly.
"Shit," I breathed. "Mate, that kind of bonding magic is serious stuff. If he wants you for something, he's not going to give up easily."
Stiles looked alarmed at my cementing of the fact that they were in serious trouble. We all were.
"Okay," he said. "Aren't you supposed to protect them? Didn't you say by the will of the Council or whatever, that you were sworn to protect all supernatural creatures?"
"Nyx," Derek supplied, looking as if he'd just remembered that we were all there. "You said, the Council of Nyx. Who are they?"
I grimaced, regretting having gone with the whole mighty Council of Nyx spiel when facing the hunters. The Council were sort of funny about how much you could reveal about them. They wanted people to know who they were but they weren't super eager to parade it about. That's how witches ended up on pyres.
"Okay," I said finally, resigning myself to just being honest. After the night's events I was completely exhausted and I didn't have it in me to fabricate something better.
"I'm going to tell you the whole sordid story of the witches, but you have to just let me get through it, okay? No laughing and questions have to wait until the end."
Scott and Stiles nodded and I took Derek's stony silence for a yes.
"Right," I began. "If I remember correctly, this whole thing started with the Greeks. Or they have the best story anyway. Legend has it, that the Goddess Nyx, was one of the first anything's to come into being. She's the Goddess or personification of Night and essentially created her own beings because she could.
"Everything she's responsible for, is controlled by the moon. It was kind of a way to keep them with her, I guess. She took especially gifted humans and granted them powers; made them faster, stronger, better hunters… ring any bells?"
Scott nodded slowly.
"The other humans were jealous and fearful of these new creatures though and set about trying to get rid of them. Nyx was furious that her beloved beings were being hunted and so, to combat the humans, she gifted even more powers. She created what we now call witches. People of the earth were granted the ability to harness it's gifts in order to protect the wolves.
"Now, I think it's mostly just a bloodlines thing. After Salem, witches went into hiding to avoid persecution. So did most supernatural creatures but witches especially. So many of them had been killed during the trials that they became fearful of anyone finding out. They went deep underground and eventually, a lot of the lines died out. There are maybe a hundred of them… us, left in the world and most of them work for the Council of Nyx.
"It's pretty much what it says on the tin. A council of witches who are elected by the few of us still kicking, to govern our kind. We're still expected to protect the supernatural wherever we're based but there are strict rules in place on how we do it now."
"Rules like what?" Derek asked. He wore an expression that led me to believe that he was caught somewhere between sheer disbelief and sort of wanting it to be true. It seemed like he'd been looking out for the werewolf population of Beacon Hills, alpha or not, for quite some time now on his own. It might have come as a relief to have some help- even if it came in the form of a moody sixteen-year-old girl.
"Like as soon as I realise there are werewolves living nearby, I'm to introduce myself to their alpha. Let them know that I'm here to offer assistance if they run into trouble with hunters and that's it. I'm not to get involved with the rest of the pack or scuffles between different supernaturals."
"I had heard rumours," Derek said softly. "Stories that my mother used to tell about people like you who would keep us safe. But I don't even think she ever met a real witch either."
I shrugged, the events of the night wreaking havoc on my range of movement. I hurt down to my toes.
"Like I said, very few of us left. From what I've been told, they used to send witches out on assignment to live near pack settlements. Especially as hunter numbers grew. But there's just enough of us to form a council now let alone match pack numbers. I found you guys completely by accident."
"And you're here to stay?" Scott asked. "To help?"
I grimaced again. "I'm here to stay but I can only help with the hunters. I'm not allowed to get involved with the alpha stuff. I'm not here to police you guys, you have to sort that out amongst yourselves."
"Amongst ourselves?" Scott asked incredulously. I felt the desperation beginning to claw at his patience. "This alpha is a maniac who's killing people and you're just going to ignore that?"
"Hang on a minute!" I said angrily, my tone coming out harsher than I had intended. I didn't want to add to fuel to the fire but I couldn't stand the idea that they all thought I didn't hate this too. "I'm not ignoring anything! I'm not allowed to interfere, I could face serious consequences."
"So, what are we supposed to do?" Scott asked, dragging a hand through his overgrown hair. For the first time since I had met him- he looked scared. He looked downright terrified and my heart broke for him. He hadn't asked for any of this and yet he was now firmly in the middle of a sequence of events that he didn't even understand.
I certainly knew what that felt like.
I bit my lip and sighed, realising that I was damned if I did and damned if I didn't. "Look, I'm not saying I can't answer questions or do a little digging of my own. I take it you don't know the identity of the alpha?"
"We've haven't been able to get close enough to try," Scott replied, his voice still harsh.
"That's because getting close to the alpha whilst you're still essentially a werewolf pre-teen would be a suicide mission. We're going for defence here not offence," Derek snapped.
Scott looked like he too was suddenly weighted down with the gravity of what he had seen and learned over the last few hours, and it wasn't sitting well on his shoulders. I could feel the friction between the two wolves- the electricity crackling overhead like the threat of a summer storm.
"And what about you Derek? What are you doing to make sure he doesn't kill anyone again?" Scott accused, whirling around to face the older werewolf. "Because from where I'm standing, it looks like you have just as little clue as to what's going on as we do."
Derek snarled at Scott, his face scrunching until he was all hard lines and supernatural anger. His teeth glinted in the moonlight and his eyes flashed a dangerous blue. I fought the urge to recoil in fear.
"You're lucky that I'm even trying to help you! You're not my beta and you're certainly not in my pack. I don't owe you anything," he growled, his voice low and menacing. It sent chills up my back and I felt the hairs on my arms stand on end.
"Hey-" Stiles interrupted, his voice unnaturally calm amongst the din. Calm but commanding and it cut through the tension like a knife. "Turning on each other isn't going to get us any closer to finding the alpha or avoiding the people with the never-ending artillery supply. Never thought I'd say this," he directed the last comment towards Derek. "But we need each other. We have to stick together."
Stiles turned to look at me. "That means you too Winona. We can't outrun this."
"Alright William Wallace, steady on," I said semi-seriously. My vision was starting to blur with exhaustion. "Before you start talking about destinies or something, I need to get some shit straight."
The three somewhat reluctantly turned their attention to me.
"First of all, nothing that has been said tonight leaves this roadside. Understood?" They each nodded in turn, Derek opting to roll his eyes instead which I took as an affirmative. "Who I am and what I can do, absolutely cannot get out in this town if I'm going to help you. Secondly, you will not drag me into your werewolf dramas. I'm not a supernatural mediator but if I can pass you any information to help, then I will. Finally-"
"And you called me William Wallace," Stiles remarked wryly.
"This one is the most important!" I protested. "In exchange for my help with the hunters, you will not let me get eaten by werewolves."
Derek made a strangled noise of surprise and Scott and Stiles burst into laughter.
"Stop laughing! I'm not kidding!" I complained, trying desperately to remain serious. "I'm really not interested in getting eaten by one of you."
The laughter increased and I would put money on the fact that Derek's lips quirked very briefly as well.
"In the nicest way possible, are we done here?" I asked finally once the laughing had died down. I made a big show of checking my watch. "The puberty power rangers have school tomorrow."
"Oh God, my dad is going to kill me," Stiles groaned, also realising the time.
"I'm climbing through a window but sometimes Gran can smell trouble. Smells a lot like sulphur and Black Opium perfume apparently," I added with a grin. Stiles snorted but Scott and Derek appeared to be having a silent conversation behind us.
"You good man?" Stiles asked Scott.
"Yeah, Derek and I need to talk though. I'll catch up with you at school?"
"Sure thing. Winona, do you need a ride?"
I quickly worked through my inner debate of trying to figure out where I was and brave the walk home or just accept the lift and my tired body made the decision for me.
"A ride would be great."
Whilst Scott and Stiles said their goodbyes, I approached Derek.
"I want my lighter back." I demanded quietly. He turned it over without a word, his mouth set in a hard line. "Do you have a pen?"
Derek was caught off guard by my request but rummaged in his leather jacket nonetheless and passed a biro with the end chewed off to me. I reached for his hand and was pleasantly surprised that he acquiesced without a battle, offering it up to me without comment. I scribbled my phone number onto the back of his hand and handed back the pen.
"Until further notice, you're my alpha. Give me a bell if you run into any hunter trouble."
"A bell?" he asked, his voice soft.
I looked at him intently, trying to work him out. He carried around so much anger, that much I could feel. But beyond that, there was this awful melancholy which hid just below the surface. My heart ached for him, knowing that fate had served us a very similar cruel hand. I wasn't sure if he felt the kinship I did. I would have to ask Scott whether he could also feel emotions.
"Ring me," I answered as Stiles began to head away from Scott. "If there are any issues."
Derek nodded and quickly pocketed the hand I had scrawled my number on. Without so much as a nod in goodbye, he turned back to Scott. I waved to Scott and then walked around the jeep, this time getting into the passenger seat.
"Are you gonna be okay?" Stiles asked, buckling in.
I took a deep breath and strapped myself in. "Yeah, I'll be fine. I know it's coming this time."
"So where do you live?" Stiles asked, pulling away from the roadside. I relished the breeze which flowed through the open windows, this time letting it ground me as opposed to feeling like it would carry me away.
"Over on Pine," I answered dreamily. I leant back in my seat and closed my eyes, allowing the cool night to wash over me.
"No way! So do I! Well, on the corner of Pine anyway."
"It's the most suburban place I've ever lived," I remarked.
"You must stick out like a sore thumb," Stiles laughed.
"Bloody Americans," I replied. "You just don't understand the nuances of grunge. It's a lifestyle baby."
He laughed again and then we fell into a comfortable silence. I kept my eyes closed, partly to tune out the car experience but mostly because I couldn't keep them open. I was beyond shattered, I belonged straight in the knacker's yard.
"What would happen if you disobeyed the Council?" Stiles asked, after a few moments of quiet. I had begun to fall asleep and forced myself to open my heavy eyes. I blinked wearily in the dark car, trying to adjust to the low light again.
I swallowed before I answered, stalling for time. "The shittiest thing about having so few of us left is that it's more than just the Council. We're a coven. If you break the rules, they ex-communicate you."
"Would that be so bad?" he asked gently.
"I think it would be pretty much the end of me," I answered honestly. "Once you join a Coven, you become linked with the other witches. We call on each other's strength when we need it and as a new witch with more inherited power than I know what to do with, I need their support. Without them, I'd still be having magically charged outbursts."
Stiles sat quietly with that information and I let him mull it over. I didn't want to come across as a charity case, especially after tonight's events but I felt like I needed to be honest with Stiles. I needed him to know what the stakes were for me and the pressure that I was under.
We turned onto our road and I prayed that Gran had gone to bed.
"Turn your headlights off," I instructed Stiles. "I can't wake my Gran up."
He did as I asked and I guided him to a stop a few houses down from mine.
"Thanks," I said, staring resolutely ahead. "For the lift and you know, for everything else tonight."
"Don't mention it. It was hardly my first rodeo."
I didn't miss the insinuation but chose to leave it where it was. Maybe we would trauma share one day but tonight, I just wanted to crawl into my bed and die.
I turned in my seat and grabbed my backpack from the backseat. I then opened the jeep door and slipped out, pushing it closed as quietly as possible. With a smile and a small wave, I turned in the direction of my house and left Stiles in the dark.