A/N: in absolute loving memory of our angel. Thank you for changing -and saving- my life.

Santana's POV:

I broke up with Brittany, the girl I thought I was going to marry, raise kids and grow old with. Even though i was heartbroken i was still adamant that i had done the right thing. Long distance relationships never work, everyone knew that. I wanted to break it off before one of us ended up cheating. At least this way we could still be friends, or so I had hoped.

Britt needed space, and i totally got that but i was scared of losing her.

After all, she was my best friend once and i didn't want to change that.

It was too soon for that though and I understood that, I needed space too.

That need drove me to the one place i knew i wouldn't be interrogated, quinn's.

Even though we didn't talk as much as we once used to, she was still one of my best friends. Our friendship went way back to kindergarten.

We had always been there for each other. And when brittany transferred schools we put her under our wing.

Britt was a late addition to our friendship but she fit right in with our dynamic regardless.

Quinn and i kind of drifted apart when brittany and i started dating. We were spending less tess time together as a trio and more as a duo. I still felt bad for not being there for her when her parents kicked her out, even though i had apologized to her on numerous occasions since (both sober and drunk). I couldn't imagine the guilt ever going away.

We rekindled our friendship at mr schue's failed wedding, who knew all it took to glue back a broken friendship was two mind blowing orgasms? Trust me when i say that i would had done it sooner if only i had known.

Smiling absentmindedly at the memory i realized that the train had almost reached its final destination. I gathered my belongings and got ready to leave the train as soon as it stopped.

The last thing i needed was to be stuck in a crowd. Trains already were a moving box of germs, add new yorkers to that and you would get at least three types of flu. Once out of the train i hailed a cab to quinn's.

I took a deep breath as I knocked on her door hoping that my eyes weren't puffy enough to give me away. When i received no answer i decided to sit on the floor and wait for her to come home.

Quinn's POV:

What was she doing there? It had almost been a week since we last spoke, and before that a month. There was no point in denying that i had missed her though.

Wait, had she been crying?? santana lopez didn't cry. Not in front of people at least.

I wrapped my arms around her and my heart broke a little when she started sobbing.

'Shh, it's going to be okay.' I repeated in almost a whisper as i caressed her hair and held her head against my chest.

'Let's go inside.' I said while searching for some kind of response in her eyes.

I opened the door and watched her take off her shoes and settled on my couch before closing the door and joining her.

'Do you want to talk about it?'

'Can i not? Not now at least.' The vulnerability in her voice caused my concern to grow, i hadn't seen that side of her in years.

'Of course.' I was genuinely okay with her not wanting to talk, the last thing i wanted was to make her feel pressured or even obligated to tell me.

I headed to the kitchen to make her a cup of tea.

'Thanks.' She mumbled weakly while taking the mug from my hands.

I sat next to her contemplating whether i should suggest watching a movie or not. Grinning at the idea that popped in my head, i got up to scan my DVD shelf and grabbed the movie i had in mind. I settled back on the couch next to her once i had finished setting up the DVD player and the movie was ready to be played.

I patiently and anxiously waited for her reaction. Maybe the santana lopez i knew was just an outdated version from middle school. Maybe she grew to hate the things she once loved. My thoughts abruptly came to a halt by the sound of an all too familiar chuckle.

'How do you even remember?'

'I just do.' I shrugged it off nonchalantly with a smile. The obvious amazement and appreciation in her voice caused a warm fuzzy feeling in my stomach.

Santana's comfort movie had always been mamma mia. Back when we were in high school, she use to make me watch it with her whenever she was in a bad mood or when something bad happened. But that was of course PB, pre-brittany. Don't get me wrong i didn't hate brittany, it was just that the only thing we ever had in common was santana, and i occasionally missed when it was just the two of us.

Especially when they started dating, i felt like her second choice. I had to distance myself, find my own interests and get new friends. Finn was a good distraction at the time, and everything was going well until i screwed it up as i always did and caused it to blow up in my face.

At the time i felt extremely lonely, i had no one, i was jealous of rachel for having finn, of mercedes for having kurt and of brity for having santana. My santana. In my mind she had stolen my best friend from me.

And being the fabray i was i never expressed these feelings of hurt to santana in a healthy way. Instead i picked fights with her and slapped her when she was the only one to see through my bullshit and call me out on it, because it hurt that after all those years of radio silence she still knew me best.

And who could forget when i stooped as low as telling sue about san's surgery? The whole school had witnessed that fight. The memory caused me to cringed internally.

I stood up in front of her and before i could even think it through i was holding my hand out to her.

She seemed hesitant and confused, which did nothing but feed my anxiety. But then, just as i was starting to think about retreating, a small grin formed on her face as she rolled my eyes and took my hand.

We tango-ed dramatically while 'voulez-vous' was playing in the background. We were laughing and grinning and it felt so good. We kept dancing to every song until the movie came to an end. She then hugged me and thanked me in a low voice.

'For what?' I answered with a smile. In all honesty it didn't feel like i was doing it for her. It has always been this way, i've always had a soft spot for her. even when we weren't on good terms, i was the only one allowed to be mean to her, i made sure of that. Without her knowing of course. My ego was too big for me to tell her that i loved and missed her enormously.

As she pulled me back she looked into my eyes and i could see the vulnerability in them which caused me to smile. Out of all the versions of santana lopez that i've had the pleasure -and displeasure- of knowing this one had always been my favorite by far. The version almost no one got to see. If santana let her guards down for even a second around you it meant that you're special to her. The idea warmed my heart and made me feel special more than ever because i hadn't witnessed this it in years.

'I've missed this, you know?... us.' Her voice brought me back from my thoughts and though i was expecting it, her rawness took me by surprise.

'Me too. i've been missing this for a long time actually.' I avoided her eyes while admitting the second part. Rather embarrassed by my own honesty.

'Hey, look at me. I have too. And i can't say this nearly enough, but i'm sorry for not being there for you when you needed me the most. We spent too much time fighting over the stupidest and most meaningless things. And as much as i hate to admit it, most of it was caused by me being a class A asshole. So again, i'm sorry Q.'

'Promise me something?' I asked suddenly feeling braver after her confession.

'That no matter how mad we get at each other we'll always try to communicate through it and never let our egos get in the way ever again. Because I promise you that. I don't want to lose my best friend over our humongous egos and our obstinacy. You're the person who knows me best San, and for the longest time too. I don't want that to change.' I kept my gaze fixed on my hands, I was far too nervous to look at her.

'I promise Q.' That was when I decided to look at her, that simple sentence filled with indescribable amounts of happiness.

'And please stop with the SAT words, shakespeare.' I couldn't help but chuckle at her comment.

'Obstinacy and humongous aren't SAT words you dork!' I said while poking her side.

She rolled her eyes as she laughed 'whatever, nobody actually speaks like that except for yale nerds.'

I shook my head incredulously with a smile at how she hadn't changed a bit.

'You still like chinese food? Because i'm starving and there's this delicious restaurant not too far from here that delivers.' She shrugged in response and answered with a quiet 'sure'.

30 minutes later we were eating on the couch while watching the hangover, when she put away her empty takeout box and rested her head on my shoulder. Which was weird because Santana would never, in a million years allow herself to be this instimate and vulnerable with someone who isn't Brittany. Unless-

OH MY GOD. SANTANA AND BRITTANY BROKE UP! Shit.

'I know that you don't like hugging, cuddling or any kind of display of affection Fabray, but you'll get over it.'

Her voice brought me back from my trance and i couldn't help but release a chuckle at her statement.

It was true, i wasn't used to it. My parents almost never hugged me or showed me any sign of approval for that matter. And at school i was perceived as the intimidating HBIC and that didn't exactly scream 'hug me'. But this was different. This was Santana. My favorite person, my best friend since kindergarten. It felt right. Not forced like it used to with Finn and Sam.

I wrapped my hand around her waist and gave her a small squeeze to let her know that i was okay with this.

A/N: hi! This is my first story ever, i wrote it 5 ish years ago, found it a few days ago and decided to edit and continue writing it. Reviews are extremely appreciated but please go easy on me as i'm still new to this. I hope you enjoyed it and i'm gonna try to update it weekly as I've already written a few chapters xo

A/N 2: feel free to follow me on tumblr it's: itwascarol-sheloved