Help Me Adaa
Elrond came out of the healers room, and went to his friend. Thranduil looked up, tears in his eyes.
"There's nomore we can do, mellon nin.. I am so sorry," Glorfindel, Elladan, and Elrohr all had tears in their eyes as well. Thranduil wiped his eyes, and righted himself; he knew he had to tell his little boy nana wasn't coming home.
Legolass scream was something Thranduil would remember til the day he died. He held his little one in his arms, rocking him.
"Shhhhhhsssssssshhhhhh, my little one you need to breath, I know my love I know," he saw the entire court in front of him, the servants, the guards; the entire house hold was in crisis.
"Mellon nin, he needs to see her," Elrond whispered, putting hand on his friend's shoulder. Thranduil nodded, carrying the sobbing child; he expected his teenager to protest, the opposite happened, he clung harder to his ada.
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"Goodbye my love, we will miss you," Legolas held his father tightly, giving nana one final kiss. He felt his friends near him, Elladan put his arms around him, and it made Legololas feel less lonely that his friends were crying too.
Later that night when everyone had said goodnights; Thranduil held his baby in is arms, not that the little one would have it any other way. He had finally after a hot bath, and three lullabies, and promises that his ada would be there in the morning he went to sleep.
"Ada," came a sleepy elfing's voice, his head resting on his ada's chest.
"Meleth nin go back to sleep, ssssssshhhhhhhh,"
"Ada, when will it stop hurting?" Thranduil felt his tears coming back, and he cradled his shivering little one in his arms.
"I don't know meleth nin but I know one thing; we have each other, we have our friends, and the wood to help us," Thranuil held his baby in his arms as the went to sleep. An hour later, Legolas slipped out to the bathroom, grabbing his small knife Elrond had given him for his first hunt; he sat on the bathroom floor, and took his shirt off.
I can't believe am doing this, he thought and he put the knife to his upper arm, letting the high get him out of his pain. He should tell someone, he should tell Ada, or Elrond or the twin, but he couldn't; it was too pathetic.
He slipped back into bed, wiggling under his beloved ada's arm once again. The wound was concealed, but looking at Thranduil his heart shattered.
"I'm so sorry ada," he whispered, burying his face on Thranduil's neck.
Legolas laid in Elladan's lap, the elder elf stroking his hair. Ro was on the floor, Atwen was leaned against him. It was after the queen's funeral, and the siblings all wanted to be there for him.
"Why are there cuts on your arm?" Elladan asked softly, Legolas shrugged.
"You know, playing in the trees, and all." Legolas closed his eyes, he now needed his fix every few hours. Ada's arms were not enough anymore, kisses from his tutors, and cuddles with the twins were not going to work.
"We should go to dinner, before Erestor starts on us," Dan stood, pulling his friend with him, Arwen followed grabbing her friend's hand. The elfings all made it in just as Celeborn, Galladriel, and the others filed in. Dan shepherded his grieving friend over to a chair next to him and Ro.
"Penneth are you OK?" Thranduil wrapped his arms around his child. Legolas leaned into the touch; his father was his whole world now.
"My Lords, the elves who found the Queen would like to say a few words," Erestor said gently, Thranduil nodded. Dan held Legolas's hand tightly. Kind words were said, and the food came; no one really spoke; it was all too sad. Legolas ate for his friends; he knew he'd have time with his blade later.
The escalation happens fast; he is after a few weeks running out of room on his arms. He has a close call after archery where twice the blood was out of control. He is pale, and people are starting to notice. He is sleepy all the time; the only distractions are his tutots and ada.
"Tithen pen Elrond will be here with the elflings a few hours; please shower and put on a presentable tunic, OK?" Thranduil calls from his rooms. Legolas quickly stops his crimson river on his left ankle, and jumps in the bath; the blood loss and skipping breakfast have taken its toll. He falls asleep in the bath.
He wakes up in someone's arms; he is still sleepy and he doesn't realize that he is naked in front of them or that it is his ada.
"Oh my penneth what happened to you?!" his father's angst filled voice snaps him back to reality. He turns his head and his world crashes down; Dan holding Arwen who Is sobbing hysterically, Elrond preparing to dress his wounds, the cut on his ankle is a river by now, and Thranduil is lying next to his head, stroking his face.
"Ada please, do something I can't do it alone anymore.." Thranduil will never forget the pain in his little one's voice.
"Ssssssssshhhhh, penneth I will; we all love you it will be OK; my beautiful boy it will be OK.. Ssssssssshhhhhhhh, Ada has you; just listen to Ada's voice," Elrond approaches him, softly putting a hand on his cheek.
"little one these wounds are self-inflicted; you re very ill, and have been malnourished for weeks; tell me penneth, is it because of nana?' all he can do is nod at Elrond.
"You are very lucky I found you, you lost a lot of blood." Dan said softly, distracting the hurting elf. Thranduil gently stroked his face; shushing him as Elrond decided which scar to tend to first. Legolas felt the salve, then icy, stinging solution on his right arm; where it all started.
"I'll do what is necessary tonight, but he needs some sleep my friend," Elrond finished putting salve on the last wound on his ankle. Thranduil gently lifted his broken son into his arms; the group all accompanying him to their rooms. He laid his son on the bed, Arwen went to run him a bath and the king pulled hid formals off; gathering Legolas in his arms.
"in we go penneth," he whispered, he held Legolas under the warm water, he was scared to let him go. He grabbed soap with the other hand, and began to wash his hurting child.
"Ada," he whispered, Thranduil shushed him, trying to get him to relax. Never since he was an elfling did Thranduil know his body so well, as he did his task he gently kissed his son all over gently, speaking loving words in his tongue.
"Penneth, I am sorry I did not see this,"
"Yu couldn't have stopped me," came the quiet response, Thranduil put the flannel down and lifted his son out of the bath.
"I could have, I am the only one." He lay his son on the bed, dressing him in sleeping clothes. He walked over to the door and locked it.
"Ada everything hurts," came the scared child's whimper, Thranduil guided his son's head so he was laying in his lap, he picked up a brush and started combing his golden hair.
"I know ion nin, I know it does." Tears in his father's voice, send him over the edge. Legola started shaking in his arms; Elrond's stitches were worse than the cutting.
"Ada please," Thranduil relented, pulling his shirt up, and gently rubbed his belly. He hadn't asked for that in years. He hurt for his friends, Elrond, his friends, everyone in his life.
"Your banned from training, I cannot have a relapse tithen pen; it will kill me." He shivered, Legolas didn't care. Right now he just wanted ada to hold him.
Thranduil held him tighter, held him for dear life; a soft knock at the door revealed Glorfindel nd behind him was Berendel. Thranduil's adopted son. Legolas almost fainted, the dread, hurt and disappointed on his big brother's face made him shrink further into Thranduil's arms; Berendel said nothing, he simply sat on the bed and put a hand on his little brother's face; Legolas wasn't sure whether to cry or run, but the medicine tea Elrond had given him made him tired.
"I'm sorry I wasn't here tithen pen," Legolas furiously shook his head, trying to sit up, ut he was pulled close by Thranduil his shaking starting again.
"Tothen pen, sssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh, relax I am here to help you. Its alright, its OK, Legolas," Berendel, hrld out his arms, the frightened teenager hesitated before collapsing into his arms as a sobbing mess.
"We will gtet through this," the warrior whispered, putting his lips to Legolas's hair.
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Thranduil held his son in his arms, pacing. The el was so thin he could hold him like when he was a baby; it was terrifying. A servant had brought in soup; he knew this was going to be awful, feeding him when he did want to eat. Legolas stirred as he was placed back on the bed.
"Ada," he whispered, Thranduil sighed picking up the spoon; Legolas saw, and he recoiled in fear.
"Focus on me little one, keep focus on me," Thranduil whispered, he spooned up some soup putting it to his little prince's mouth. Legolas knew he had no strength to be defiant; he had arely eaten in days.
"Good boy, that's it," he saw his father smiling, nd praising him; it was something he didn't know he missed so much. He also forgot how much he enjoyed those belly rubs.
"Good?" Thranduil didn't want to overload his system too much; Elrond had said not to overdo it.
"Ada mmmmmmmmmhhhhhmmmmmm tired," he whispered drowsily half asleep. Thranduil put the spoon down, getting into bed with hi son.
"Ada peeese," he grabbed Thranduil's hand and guided it to his tummy.
"Does your tummy hurt?" he fussy murmur told him yes; Thranduil gently began to work on him.
"I'm sorry ada," he whispered, tears cae to the elf king's yes once again.
"You're… your sick tithen pen, you have depression and you self-harmed to cope. These next weeks will be very hard on you and me, but we will get through it, I promise you."
"You weren't supposed to find out this way," Legolas whispered to the twins who sat on either side of him.
"Penneth we did," Dan said defiantly, he took his friend's hand; Legolas knew he felt horrible but it was what it was.
"Sssssssshhhhhh, relax," Ro whispered, stroking his face with a free hand, he felt safe with his friends near.
Thranduil opened the door, and gently gathered his sickly child in his arms and carried him to the bathroom. Like he had since the night of the discovery; he got into a warm bath washing his ill child. Legolas moaned, opening his eyes.
"Ada," he whispered, as the flannel washed went over his lower tummy. Tharnduil stopped.
"What tithen pen what…" he was afraid of the answer; that was the new normal.
"It.. it hurts, dow there," his ada stopped cold, and dropped the flannel he was holding; his son's eyes were full of pain and fear.
"Oh, oh my penneth.. Ssssssssshhhhhhhhhh, ssssssssshhhhhhhhhhh," Legolas squeezed his eyes shut, not knowing what to feel; Thranduil pulled him back stroking his face.
"We will deal with this privately, do not worry." He wanted to save the small amount of dignity his sik and bedridden child still had; Legolas was still a virgin, this was a family affair.
"Why does it.." Thranduil hushed him, trying not to make this traumatic for his son.
"You stopped all food and drink, everything in your body shuts down if that happens Legolas; tell me more," Thranduil sealed himself, but was going to be brave for his son.
"It hurts, ada.. I… ada, just hold me please," Thranduil did as he was told, trying to figure out how to tell Elrond this.
"I'll ask a healer for a salve," Thranduil was speaking for the sake of it: Legolas just hugged him closely, his lower tummy screamed and rebelled, the lack of nutrition for two weeks reared its side effects.
"Ada, when will I get better…" Legolas asked, biting his lip as his virgin member rebelled in pain, stinging as he released.
"ssssssshhhhhhhhh, I know penneth, I know; let ada hold you, I know, I know," Legolas was in too much agony to feel embarrassment.
"Ada, it hurts," Thranduil kissed him on the head, making the water warmer. Thranduil lifted him out of the bath, laying him on the bed; then as carefully he dried his child off.
"I am glad you came to me pennth," his ada whispered, Legolas said nothing; he just hel his father tightly.
"If it starts to hurt again, you are to wake me up; is that clear?" Thranduil said, trying to sound form and soft at the same time.
"Yes ada," Thranduil automatically began rubbing his tummy; the only distraction he had.
"We will get through this pennth; I promise you," Thranduil whispered, kissing him on the forehead.
"I love you ada; thank you for saving me from myself,"